Dies Irae

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Sept

I went to bed confused. Actually, I didn’t go to bed until the early hours of the morning.

I did enjoy my time with Marcus. It felt so natural to be with him and converse with him but something was off.

Well, not ‘off’ as that sounded rude but, it definitely felt like he had many triggers. I didn’t want to assume it was trauma triggers because he lacked the typical reactions that traumatized people had. Then again, I didn’t know much about trauma.

Maybe it was just him? It was no secret that males weren’t the best with emotion. It might have seemed old-fashioned, especially if humans knew, but it was our basic biology. The brain wasn’t wired to handle this many emotions. Whereas we were far more intelligent, our perception of emotion skewed it, to equalize it.

Females had a better hold. Again, it was just our biology. There wasn’t much to argue about it.

Anyway, the point was, he got immensely trigged over somethings that I deemed very small. Like the fact that I said “His translator.” Marcus seemed like he was ready to kill someone.

And, maybe I was in the wrong here, but I felt almost offended and a little embarrassed. I leaned into him only for him to deny me and back away. It was truly embarrassing. I’ve known the man for only a few days, talked to him for only a few hours and I was already trying to make a move. Granted, the mate bond was a very sacred and strong gift, I just- I felt ashamed.

I mean, I saw him glance at my chest a few times, I didn’t understand why he backed off.

Just as I was about to doze off, I swear, I picked up a scent. An unfamiliar, unruly scent. But it went just as swiftly as it came.

I slept.

I woke up to knocking on the door. I groaned but pulled myself out of the bed. I walked over to the main door, opening it.

“Oh,” I mumbled, “Je suis désolé,” I apologized in my native language, “I didn’t mean to oversleep.”

“You’re fine, Ines,” he shook his head, “I just figured I’d help get you on a schedule.”

“What time is it?” I asked him.

“Seven in the morning,” he nodded.

“Oh,” I ran a hand through my hair, “may I go get ready, and then we can talk?”

“Oh! Yes, dear, I apologize for my inconsideration. I’ll be out here whenever you’re ready,” he told me.

“You can wait in here,” I offered, my cheeks getting warm, “I don’t mind.”

He chuckled before he looked away, trying to not laugh.

“I don’t mind either, dear, I just don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable,” he nodded as I widened the door.

“What do you usually wear?” I asked as I looked him over.

Goddess, he was so big and tall and just so built.

“Are you talking to me, Ines?” he asked, teasing me.

I looked up to meet his eyes, confused.

“Oui?” I confirmed.

He found my confusion cute, I felt it in him.

“Oh, well, I didn’t know, you weren’t looking at me, too busy looking somewhere else,” he smirked.

“I-” I paused, feeling so embarrassed but also rightful.

This was my man. It didn’t matter if we knew each other really well or not. I could look if I wanted to.

“I’m just teasing you, Ines,” he broke me from my thoughts.

“May I wear shorts?” I asked him.

His brows met as his left eye twitched.

THAT! THAT RIGHT THERE!

I was so confused by it. Anger started to fill up in him and my brows met.

“Of course, you may wear whatever you want,” he told me, trying to keep the anger out of his voice, “did someone tell you that you couldn’t?” he questioned.

I silently shook my head, denying him.

“Oh,” he responded as I felt the emotion simmer.

I blinked but kept quiet.

He felt like he was about to snap over something I asked.

Maybe I shouldn’t ask him things? Just keep quiet so I didn’t enrage him?

“Sorry,” I said, utterly confused and wondering if I should’ve just remained quiet.

“Don’t apologize, you didn’t do anything wrong, but you don’t have to ask for my permission to wear something,” he explained but it didn’t clear up my hesitancy in the least.

When I didn’t respond he spoke: “um, I’ll leave, I’ll be in my office, no,” he corrected himself, “I’ll be in my room, you can get me if you wish, when you’re ready.”

He looked unsure of himself and his anger came back.

Before he could say something, he started to walk over to the door.

“Bye,” he mumbled.

“Bye, Marcus,” I responded, my tone weak and hesitant.

The door closed, the sound deafening.

I frowned.

What did I do? Did I say something? He always said that I wasn’t the reason or that he wasn’t mad at me but that’s what it felt like.

I let out a defeated sigh, my shoulders relaxing as I went over to my bags, pulling out my linen paper-bag shorts and a light blue blouse. I paired it with my mule sandals that had a small heel.

I quickly did my morning routine with my things I brought with me before I walked over to the door.

I did remember the way back to his room, it was a little walk but I didn’t mind. I saw a woman dressed in black pushing a cart. I didn’t plan on talking to her as I always minded my own business but as she got closer to me, I noticed as she looked me up and down, caught a whiff of my scent, frowned, and then scoffed.

My eyebrows met.

As she walked past me, she literally shoved her body against mine. I stumbled from the unexpected impact.

“Excuse you,” I politely muttered as I smoothed my shirt.

“No, excuse you,” she mouthed off to me.

Um, what? I don’t know you…

“Pardon?” I spoke.

“His scent is all over you,” she spat at me like I was the lowest thing she ever saw.

“The Alpha’s?” I asked.

“No fucking shit,” she rolled her eyes, “did you know, he killed Jerome because of your ass?” she smarted off.

The attitude on this bitch was beyond me but her words were news to my ears.

“Excuse me?”

“Do you know any other fucking words?” she snarled, “because your entitled fucking ass decided to complain about the Alpha’s bedding, the Alpha decided to kill my brother because you!” she snapped.

That bothered me. But, her language and attitude bothered me even more.

“Look, that is not my fault. My apologies to your family but I did not do anything to you,” I told her, “and maybe you should follow the Alpha’s orders if you are so worried about how he reacts. And address him with respect, do not snarl his name,” I ordered.

My, my, Ines, what is this?

“Good day,” I left, turning around and continuing on my way.

I ignored her murderous gaze on me.

When I arrived at his room, I knocked on the door. Although I wasn’t happy with the way that woman treated me, I couldn’t help but replay her words in my head.

He killed someone? Because I showed my disdain over his bedsheets that reeked of other women?

I’d rather him ruin the sheets, not another wolf.

Marcus opened the door.

“Hello, dear,” he smiled.

Bonjour,” I responded, my tone off.

He noticed.

“Are you okay? Did something happen? Who said something to you?” he immediately questioned.

“I’m okay,” I kept short and sweet.

I was bothered, though.

He didn’t buy my response.

“Where would you like to have breakfast, Ines?” he asked me.

“You can choose,” I responded.

I didn’t know this place well enough to make a decision.

“Would you like to dine in our- my room?” he quickly corrected himself but it still made a small smile slip onto my features.

“That’s fine with me, Marcus,” I nodded.

“I love the way you say my name,” he blurted.

I couldn’t help the flustered laugh and genuine smile.

“Thank you,” I smiled as I walked into his room as he held the door for me.

“Your accent is honestly so alluring,” he told me as he walked with me over to his couch. “I’ll be back in two minutes. I have to go tell the chefs that we’ll be in my room.”

I nodded in silence and I sat there quietly as he left. I was admiring the beautiful layout of his space and how the window overlooked the gorgeous woods.

Those words made my stomach turn again.

The door opened, Marcus coming back in.

“I’m back,” he smiled.

I gave him a soft smile.

“Marcus?” I called as he came over to the sofa.

“Ines?”

“May I ask you something?”

Again, his left eye twitched and almost like a gun, the anger in him hit me, feeling his strongest emotion through the strength of our bond.

“I’m sorry,” I said before he could speak.

What did I do wrong? Was it me talking? I mean, he said he liked my accent so I don’t think it was that. Was it me asking questions?

“No, no, you didn’t do anything wrong,” he tried to reassure me.

“But your eye twitched-” I started, and honestly, it sounded stupid out loud.

“No, that just happens when I get angry,” he cut me off, trying to make me feel better, it seemed.

“So I made you angry?” I questioned.

“No,” he quickly said, only to be cut off by a knock. “I’m sorry, let me go get that, dear.”

I nodded as he walked over to the door, pulling in a food cart and dismissing the person that was at the door.

He set up the food cart.

Merci,” I thanked him.

“Of course, dear,” he told me as he sat back down, “I’m not mad at you at all, sometimes my mind just twists words and I just get angry. I don’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable or anything. I promise you, I’m not mad at you,” he emphasized.

I politely nodded as I grabbed the glass of water, putting it to my lips. I noticed he didn’t touch his food yet until I took a bite.

What a mannered man. Well, it wasn’t even manners, it was instincts.

“Who is Jerome?” I asked him, carefully picking my words.

“Why?” He avoided it.

“Because I asked,” I mirrored his response.

He grinned as he looked at me.

“Did I tell you yet that you look very pretty this morning?” he asked.

“No, but thank you, I appreciate it,” I smiled, “may you please answer me now?” I questioned. “You know, ignoring my question does not make me feel any better.”

He frowned but quickly covered it. Even if he didn’t, I felt that my words bothered him before anger started to sizzle.

Yikes, um, I didn’t want that to happen.

He really was an angry guy…

“He was a servant of mine,” he kept short.

“Did you kill him?” I cut to the chase.

“Who told you that?” he demanded, that anger growing into rage.

“Okay,” I whispered, “um, calm down,” I mumbled, not really knowing what to do.

“Is that why you were bothered? Did someone say something to you?”

Before I could answer, he grabbed the back of my neck, shoving his face in between my shoulder.

I liked it a lot. This proximity and what not but now wasn’t the time to give into this.

“Marcus!” I put my hand against his solid chest.

He was so warm.

“Did she hurt you?” he asked as he pulled back, examining my figure.

“Marcus!” I snapped.

He looked back up to me, his eyes showing lines of red and gold wrath.

“I am fine,” I told him softly, “okay?” I nodded.

He slowly nodded.

“Okay,” I softly pressed his chest, pushing him away from me enough, “she just told me that you killed her brother-”

“Be-”

“No,” I firmly stated, “do not interrupt me,” I told him, “because I was offended that you offered for me to sleep on sheets that were dirty by females which were not me.”

“So you were mad about that?” he asked.

“Yes,” I admitted, “would you be happy if I offered for you to sleep in a bed that I had sex with other-”

He growled. Loud enough that the table glass shook.

My eyes widened in shock.

The disrespect that hit me was lethal. He felt that and his eyes flickered.

“I’m sorry, Ines,” he immediately apologized, “I don’t care if you had sex before, just the reminder of you with-” he stopped talking, his eye twitching.

I just sat there in silent shock.

“I’m sorry,” he let go of me, putting distance between us.

I frowned.

“I, um, I just do not understand why you had to kill him, Marcus,” I quietly responded.

“There were many reasons, Ines,” he told me, taking a sip from his glass, “not only did he offend you through his actions but he put off Alpha’s orders until the last minute, thus, disobeying me. And, he’s a stuttering prick,” he explained.

“He could have a stutter problem,” I reasoned.

“Stuttering problem, dear," he corrected, "I’ve met someone with a stuttering problem before, he doesn’t have a stuttering problem,” he told me.

“You have?” I asked.

“Yes. Her name is Violet, she’s mated to Derek, the Regional Alpha of the Midwest,” he informed me, “she has a stuttering problem but she isn’t a prick, she’s very nice. You’d like her if you met her but Derek and she are keeping to themselves as she’s pregnant right now and she has terrible anxiety when it comes to people, sad story, really.”

I frowned, “she sounds nice,” I agreed, “but you didn’t need to kill him.”

“Yes, I did,” he disagreed, continuing to eat.

“Marcus,” I stressed, “I do not want you killing an innocent man because I got offended, he did not do anything to me.”

He stayed quiet for some moment, allowing us to both eat. I couldn’t feel his emotions and it made me almost frustrated. I wanted for him to understand where I was coming from but I didn’t want to fight with him.

We’re mates, we’re not supposed to be fighting.

“I offended you?” he asked me after some time.

I sighed softly, “Yes, but that is not what I am saying.”

“I’m sorry that I offended you, Ines, I don’t mean to,” he sincerely told me.

“I know, Marcus, you told me last time, you are fine,” I assured him and I meant it.

“I am not sorry for killing him but I apologize that it bothered you. In the future, I will run it by you,” he grabbed my hand, softly brushing his thumb over the top of my hand.

I had nothing to say.

“Thank you,” I politely responded.

He nodded.

We both finished and someone came in and took the cart.

“Would you like a tour?” he offered and I nodded.

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