The soft, feminine voice, filtered through the darkness, making my mind feel at ease. I much prefer it to the silence that invades my mind. I feel like I'm floating in a sea of emptiness. A black, dark sea that goes on forever. But the voices break through, giving me relief from my pathetic existence.
I can't make out what they are saying, or if they are even talking to me, all I know is that, for just a little while, I don't feel so alone.
This particular soft feminine voice is familiar to me. It's a constant in my sea of nothingness, along with a deep baritone of a male. I sometimes try to call out to them, I sometimes scream as loud as I can to get their attention, but they don't hear me, they don't respond, and I'm left to wonder if they are even there at all.
The voice fades away and again I'm left in my black world. Unable to move, unable to speak, I succumb to the darkness that's surrounds me.
For the first time, that I'm aware, a faint light appears within my darkness, so faint that I'm not sure it's really there, but I try to reach out to it, try to pull myself towards it, in the hope for a change to whatever this life is. I move towards it, the light becoming slightly brighter before it fades away completely and I'm left with nothing.
A voice fades in and out, and an unfamiliar feeling comes over me, a slight squeeze to my hand, a heaviness to my body I have never felt. I cling to the feeling, though foreign, as it gives me the feeling of hope.
As time goes on, the feeling appears and disappears, each time becoming stronger. The voices appear more often and I start to make out some of the words that I hear, though none of the voices are that familiar to me, they are still a comfort.
"Jane..." a voice pushes through and I wonder who they are talking to. "Jane, can you hear me? Squeeze my hand if you can hear me." I listen to the voice, confused as to what is going on. I feel a squeeze to my hand and I squeeze it back automatically.
"Good job, Jane, now try and open your eyes." I squeeze the hand again, trying to find if it is me that they are talking to. Am I Jane? I honestly don't know. I search my thoughts for who I am, but nothing comes to mind and I start to panic.
What is happening to me? Where am I? Who am I? The voice pulls through again, squeezing my hand as I feel the top of my head being stroked.
"It's ok Jane, you're safe, and you're okay." The voice says and I take comfort in her tone. "Try to open your eyes for me Jane." She says again, and I concede that I must be Jane.
I think about what she has asked of me, and move towards the surrounding light, my eyes blink open and I am temporarily blinded before I slam them shut again. I hear movement around me before the voice speaks again.
"It's ok Jane, it's not as bright now, and you can open your eyes again." The voice says and I slowly comply, allowing my eyes to adjust to the light around me. I blink a few times before a person comes into my line of sight. A woman, with bright red hair and drawings on her arms, and a warm smile. I blink as I take her in, this unfamiliar woman who offers me a kind smile with excitement in her eyes.
"You're awake." She says with a sigh and I simply stare in response, wondering who she is.
"My name is Julz." She says softly as if reading my thoughts, "can you tell me your name?" she asks.
I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out, I try again, and am met with a croak of my voice. Julz stands and moves from my sight, I try to follow her but find I don't have the strength to move my head. She returns and places a straw against my lips, I suck on it slowly, allowing the cool liquid to coat my throat before she takes it away.
"Slow sips for now." She says. "You can have more later." She tells me. I simply stare at her as my eyes get tired. My vision starts to blur and my eye lids close before I slip back into my familiar oblivion.
The next time I wake up, Julz is no longer there. Instead I am met by a woman, who looks to be in her mid-twenties, and a male of a similar age. The woman has long brown hair, with soft brown eyes and a large smile. The man has dark hair, with dark brown eyes and a matching smile.
"You're awake." The woman says in a familiar voice, though she doesn't look familiar to me. "I'm Nicole." She states before turning to the man beside her.
"I'm Brad." He says in a deep baritone voice that also sounds familiar.
"Hi..." I croak out, unsure what else I am supposed to say. I don't know how to introduce myself and the thought makes me panic as I look around the bright white room.
"Shh... its ok, you're in the hospital." Nicole says as she lays a comforting hand on my arm. I look up at her as my vision blurs with tears and she gives me a sad smile.
"Do you know your name?" she asks softly and I slowly shake my head, relieved to find that I am able to move this time.
"We have been calling you Jane, do you want us to call you that?" Nicole asks and I simply nod my head after a moment. For some reason, while it doesn't feel right, it does feel familiar. Nicole takes a seat beside me as Brad stands behind her, his hands resting on her shoulders.
"Do you know how old you are Jane?" Brad asks and I think for a moment, unable to recall any information, I shake my head. Brad nods and offers me a small smile.
"What happened?" I ask slowly, finding it weird to hear my own soft and unfamiliar voice. Brad sighs and moves around Nicole, taking a seat on the edge of my bed near my feet.
"About ten years ago, you were found on the side of the road with extensive head injuries." He begins and I look to Nicole who has a sad smile on her face. She takes my hand in hers and squeezes it before Brad continues. "We think that you were around 14 or 15 years old at the time."
I blink as I try to process the information Brad is telling me, but none of it seems familiar to me.
"They tried to find out who you were, but no one came forward." He states. I look back to Nicole, who is looking down at our hands.
"I don't know you?" I ask after a moment and they both slowly shake their heads.
"I'm a nurse at the hospital." Nicole says softly, "and Brad's a doctor. We visit you frequently though, and try to keep you company." She says. I close my eyes, unsure how to take the information they have provided. I don't know who I am. They don't know who I am. And I have no idea how I feel about that.