CHAPTER TWENTY ONE
When Jordan and Ethan came back to the house, they were both in a terrible mood. The air around them had me stepping back, so I let them be as they both disappeared to their respective rooms and slammed the doors. I’m not sure what happened, but I know it couldn’t have been good.
Before they got home, I had spent most of the time on the couch, thinking about that kiss with Jordan. I’d never even thought about my first kiss, or kissing anyone before. It was just something on the list, something that I didn’t even think of, and yet now, it’s all I can think about. Jordan’s lips on mine, the way he tasted, how it felt. I’m not sure what it meant. Jordan said that it would be awkward, but it wasn’t. It was anything but awkward.
I don’t know whether we should talk about it or not. We agreed that it wouldn’t change anything between us, not that I’m sure how it would change anything anyway. In the end, I decided I wouldn’t bring it up, but if he wanted to talk about it, I would discuss it.
Now, two days later, I have barely seen Jordan or Ethan. I don’t think Jordan has been avoiding me, as both he and Ethan have been spending a lot of time at the base, leaving before I wake up and coming home after I have gone to bed.
It’s Friday night, and I’m having a girl’s night with Lucy, Nicole and Tammy. It will be the last time Tammy will join us as her and Chris will be moving to the east coast over the weekend.
“How are you feeling about the move?” Lucy asks Tammy, earning a tight smile from Tammy.
“A bit anxious. I think it will be good for Chris to be in a different environment, closer to his family, but at the same time it will be hard leaving the family we have here.” She says as she puts her hand on Lucy’s and squeezes it.
“We will all still be here, just a phone call away.” Lucy states, squeezing her hand back and blinking back the tears. “Just don’t forget the time difference.” She jokes.
“I’ll try not to call you first thing in the morning.” Tammy giggles and reaches for her cocktail.
“So, how is living with two boys Jane? I haven’t really had a chance to ask since you moved in with them.” Tammy asks me, changing the subject. I simply shrug my shoulders.
“It’s pretty good, we all do our own thing really. Although I haven’t seen much of them the last couple of days,” I reply.
“Seb has been pulling long days as well, I think something happened with Kyle.” Lucy tells me.
“Kyle?” I ask. I hadn’t really had that much to do with Kyle. He didn’t really talk much when we were all together in a group, but I did feel him looking at me from time to time, and noticed him eyeing the other girls too. I didn’t think much of it though, it wasn’t constant, but it did make me feel a little uncomfortable.
“Yeah, Seb didn’t tell me anything, just said to stay away from him.” She says with a shrug.
“Oh ok.” I say, confused as to what could have happened. I don’t know if Jordan would tell me, I know that they can’t talk about a lot of stuff that goes on in their jobs, so I imagine that this will be the same.
“How’s the list going?” Nicole asks and I simply shrug in response.
“I’ve been slowly getting through it, Jordan has offered to teach me how to drive so I’m thinking of doing that next.” I tell them. I’ve mostly been thinking of learning to drive so I don’t have to take the bus or walk anymore. It would be so much more convenient being able to get myself around. I wonder briefly if I should tell them about the kiss with Jordan. It’s something that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about, and I’m not sure why.
“Can I ask you something?” I ask as I look between the girls, they all nod their heads so I continue. “Do all kisses feel the same?” I blurt out, my cheeks going red at my question. Nicole’s jaw drops as Tammy starts coughing up the drink she had just taken.
“Who did you kiss?”
“You had your first kiss?”
“Oh My God!” they all say at the same time making my face heat up even more.
“I... um… I kissed Jordan.” I tell them as they stare at me in shock. “It was just because it was on the list, that’s all, and I figured I’d get it out of the way, and Jordan agreed, he said my first kiss would be awkward anyway, so, you know.” I mumble, looking down at the table just wishing a hole would form and swallow me up.
All three just stare at me in silence, making my face feel even hotter than I thought was possible as I wither under their scrutinising gaze.
“You kissed Jordan?” Tammy asks after a while and I simply nod, not daring to raise my head.
“What was it like?” Nicole asks me. I look up finally and furrow my brows, not sure how to answer that. “Well, if you want to know if all kisses are the same, we need to know what that one was like.” She continues and I nod my head.
I give them a brief overview of the kiss, feeling uncomfortable talking about it, but I honestly have nothing to compare it to, and given that it’s been plaguing my mind, it couldn’t hurt to get another opinion.
“No…” Lucy states, “Not all kisses are like that… that... sounds perfect.” She says with a small grin on her face. Tammy and Nicole nod in agreement.
“But could I just be playing it up in my head as I have nothing to compare it to? Or at least, nothing that I remember.” I ask them.
“That’s possible.” Tammy states. Lucy stands from the table and starts surveying the room.
“What are you doing?” Nicole asks.
“Finding someone for Jane to compare it to.” She states as she points to a guy and sits back down. “Ok, you are going to go and kiss the guy by the bar, that way, you can see the difference.”
I can feel my eyes widen and I shake my head. “I can’t do that.” I whisper loudly.
“Of course you can, you just go up, say hi, kiss him and then leave.” Lucy says with a mischievous grin on her lips.
“It would help you to see if there was something there between you and Jordan.” Tammy adds.
“Plus, think of it as life experience.” Nicole puts in and I stare at all three in shock.
“I never should have brought it up…” I mumble to myself as Lucy pulls me out of my seat. She grabs my drink off of the table and hands it to me.
“Liquid courage. Now down this and go.” She states. I don’t know why I didn’t sit back down or just say no, curiosity I guess, so instead I finished the rest of my cocktail in one go and walked directly to the man at the bar.
He wasn’t bad looking, his blond hair flopping in his eyes, he was lean, but not very muscular, reasonably tall with tanned skin. As I moved closer, I noticed his eyes were a pale blue, his nose was slightly crooked but perfectly proportioned for his face, he seemed to have a nice smile as he noticed me walking towards him.
“Hi,” he said as I stood beside him.
“H… Hi.” I stuttered, a blush forming on my face again. I took a deep breath before talking. “Ok, this is going to sound absolutely stupid, but can I kiss you?” he seemed taken aback by my boldness as his jaw dropped and I wait patiently for his rejection.
“Um… Sure, Why not.” He says with a shrug of his shoulders before standing up. I don’t have time to react before his lips are on mine. He presses them hard against my lips, his tongue pushing against mine and I let him in. The kiss isn’t bad by any means. It actually feels quite nice, its brief and kind of sweet before he pulls back and stands up. I clear my throat and look up at him.
“Thank you.” I say before pivoting on my feet and rushing back to our table, my face bright red.
Lucy, Tammy and Nicole are laughing when I plonk down in my seat.
“I can’t believe you did that.” Lucy says as she wipes the tears out of her eyes.
“It was your idea!” I all but yell, my eyes wide.
“I didn’t think you would do it!” Lucy says, still laughing.
“So, how was it?” Nicole asks after they all calm down. I shrug my shoulders.
“It was nice…” I say.
“Nice? So kissing Jordan was better?” Tammy asks and I nod my head. I don’t know what this proves though, other than that Jordan is a better kisser than a random guy in a pub. But, maybe it will allow me to stop thinking about the kiss with Jordan. Or maybe, it will just make it worse.