Finding Jane Doe

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Watching everyone on the dance floor, laughing and having fun, I couldn’t help but feel jealous, even though their obvious joy put a smile on my face.
I wanted to be out there too, but with my current limitations I didn’t think it was possible, until Jordan came along.
I had so much fun as he spun me around the dance floor, both in and out of the wheelchair. I felt safe and carefree with him, though I’d met him only moments before, but I guess having heard of him from Nicole and Lucy would have had something to do with it.
Now, completely out of breath, we sit to the side again, sipping on our drinks. Well, my water and his beer. I know I’m technically old enough to drink, and I have been offered, but for the moment I’m happy just enjoying this moment.
“Thank you.” I say as I turn to Jordan, the smiling having not left my face.
“You’re welcome.” He says with a matching grin. “That was fun!” He chuckles, his eyes wide with amusement. I giggle and look behind me, the sound of the waves crashing on the sure seeping through in the lull of the music.
“Do you want to go down there?” Jordan asks and I shake my head, pointing down at my wheelchair. I can’t imagine that it would work very well in soft sand. Jordan chuckles and stands.
“Don’t let that stop you.” In a moment his arms are under my legs and back as he lifts me with ease from the chair. I let out a shriek as I grip my arms around his neck, causing him to laugh.
“Kick your shoes off, don’t want to get them wet.” He tells me. With a massive grin, I do what he says and he carries me down to the water.
When we reach the shore, he lowers me to my feet and slowly turns me around, his hands securely on my waist, I take a couple of hesitant steps into the water.
The waves rush against my feet and ankles, causing the sand underneath me to shift. I shriek again, making Jordan laugh as he holds me up.
“It’s cold!” I exclaim, though don’t make an attempt to move. While the water is cold, it’s refreshing and the sensation of the earth moving below me, Jordan’s hands keeping me steady, I’m in awe of this moment.
“This is amazing.” I whisper as a larger wave rolls over my feet, coming halfway up my leg.
“Your shoes will get wet!” I gasp as I realize Jordan is behind me in long black pants.
I hear his deep chuckle close to my ear.
“I kicked them off just before, though I didn’t think about my socks.” He laughs and I can’t help but giggle.
“Sorry.” I say.
“Don’t be, it’s worth it.” He tells me. We stand in the shallow water for what feels like hours before moving back and sitting in the dry sand.
I watch as Jordan pulls off his socks and wrings the water out of them beside them. I can’t help but giggle.
He looks over, seeing what I’m giggling at and chuckles himself.
“They needed a wash.” He shrugs with a wide smile on his face. I laugh again before turning my head to look up at the stars.
It’s the first time I’ve really seen them, unable to get a good view of them from my hospital room. There are so many that fill the night sky. I can’t help but wonder if I looked at the often before, if I had a family who I looked at them with. I search my mind, for something, anything that could resemble a memory but come up empty.
“What are you thinking?” Jordan asks beside me and I turn to look at him. For some strange reason I feel safe with Jordan, comfortable, as if I had known him for longer than the maybe hour I have.
“Just about my past, trying to remember something. But I don’t. I have no memories.” I say.
Jordan is silent beside me as we take in the night sky, it’s a minute before he speaks.
“You know, tomorrow, this moment will be a memory.” He tells me. I look at him, no doubt confusion written on my face. He smiles a kind smile before continuing.
“I’m just saying, I don’t know whether you will get your memories back, but maybe instead of focusing on the memories you don’t have, focus on making new ones. Like tonight.” He says.
I take in what he said, make new memories. I like that idea.
“It’s just hard when I don’t even know my real name.” I mutter. Jordan nudges my shoulder with his.
“You can still try and figure out your past, while living right now and making a future for yourself.” He states. “I’ll help you.” He offers.
“You don’t even know me.” I say, confused by his kindness.
“Neither do you.” He says with a grin. I can’t help but smile at that. He’s right, he probably knows me as well as I know myself at the moment.
“If we can’t figure out your past, at least we can make new memories while we try.”
We descend into a comfortable silence and I watch as he lays back in the sand and stares up at the stars, his massive hands resting below his head, a content smile on his face.
I lay down beside him, mimicking his movements. His massive size dwarfing me. A gentle giant. I think to myself with a smile.
Everything tonight has felt so magical. Everyone has been so welcoming and kind. They’ve all heard my story, no doubt. According to Nicole, it was made national news when I woke up. I’m not sure why, but then I’m not sure of anything at the moment. But in this moment, staring up at the stars with Jordan, a perfect stranger, by my side, I feel relaxed, like I can face anything.
And maybe Jordan’s right, that I should focus on making new memories while trying to figure out my past. It’s exhausting trying to force myself to remember all the time, exhausting being disappointed and frustrated when I can’t.
I look back over to Jordan and smile.
I may just take up his offer of help.

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