I woke up and laid backward on my bed. It was Saturday; the day I’m shooting my music video and tomorrow, I’m going to be on Good Morning LA. I was anxious and upset. Anxious because this is my first time being on a set where I’m performing and upset because I still haven’t spoken to Darien. I’ve been ignoring him since he kissed Miranda and this is the longest we haven’t talked. We literally spend all hours of the night on the phone but these last two nights...nothing.
At first, he was calling me every second of the day but now, he’s stuck to sending me good morning and night texts and a few ‘i miss you’ ones as well. It’s hard and I’m just hurt at this point and I know we should talk but, ugh! Plus Miranda thinks this is a game and that she’s winning but I’m not even playing! She’s a nuisance and I couldn’t be bothered with her but obviously, I was still a teenage girl with feelings.
I sighed and got out of bed. I’m a celebrity now, I need to learn to compress my emotions and put the job first, and hell, it’s my first music video! Fuck it. I put on some music and got into the groove as I hopped into the shower. After getting out, I wrapped my wet, messy hair in a bun and threw on my matching sweatsuit before running downstairs. We were going to be shooting the video downtown and I was excited. I love the city and am definitely moving there after graduation. I mean we only moved to the suburbs because of my identity. But boy, am I lucky because I got my first dose of paparazzi the other day when I was shopping at Rodeo and God! They were so up my ass, asking annoying questions and because I was with Dylan, they kept speculating that he was my boyfriend! We woke up the next day to all gossip magazines showing our photos and saying ‘the young starlet already has a beau.’ I should’ve flipped them off. Anyway, at least my fans are great. They’ve been making this transition so much easier.
“MORNING!” I shouted in a creepy voice, causing everyone to jump.
“AAHH!” They screamed and I grinned sheepishly.
“Sorry.” I laughed.
“Why so happy?” Dylan asked.
“Um well, I am shooting my first video today and freaking River Lake is in it! He’s hot..” I laughed.
“Yeah, he is,” Cassandra said, nodding.
“Let go,” Greg rolled his eyes. I squealed and we all ran outside and got into our cars and were off.
As soon as we got to the set, I was sent to hair, makeup, and wardrobe. I didn’t even get a chance to breathe but boy, did I look good! I had on some cute high waisted ripped boyfriend jeans, a cute off the shoulder crop top, and a jean jacket tied around my waist with some all-white air forces. My hair was twisted in the front and pulled back upwards into ponytails and I loved it! I felt so cute and I was happy that it wasn’t the typical girly look. My dancers also wore something similar and the video shoot was going smoothly.
The video started off with my dancers and me arriving at the party, looking good and catching all the attention. We look around, get drinks, and I catch Micah’s eye. He smiles at me and his friend teases him as I try to sheepishly flirt with my eyes and body language. We dance, mingle, and he finally approaches me which leads to us dancing together and talking. Then the video ends with us kissing.
I finish up singing the final lyrics; “I could be yours, you could be mine. Your girlfriend...your girlfriend...your girlfriend is who I want to be, oh baby can’t you see? Your girlfriend...your girlfriend...your girlfriend. Your smile, your attitude, I want you yeah oh baby I want you yeah...I want you boy.”
“Amazing! That’s a rap!” The director called out and we all cheered. We had been filming since seven o’clock and it was after eight! I didn’t realize videos took that long to film but it makes sense with all the stopping.
“You’re amazing,” Micah said, approaching me and I blushed.
“Thanks, you too.” I smiled.
“Maybe we could hang out?” He asked
“Err...sure.” I shrugged We exchanged numbers and were both off to undress and head home.
The next day, I was up early and already at rehearsals. Today was the day I performed live on Good Morning LA! Eek! Right now we’re on stage going over the song and slight choreo. I like dancing but my vibe as an artist is to have dancers as performers. I rather them doing something intricate instead of a choreographed dance.
We had a choreographer and a visualizer who gave us all our movements and steps and I was excited. It was different. My part was pretty simple. I mostly sing but come together for a short little dance with everyone else at the end.
“You’re all doing great!” I cheered on everyone. They all smiled over at me.
“Come on Shae, your turn.” The choreographer said and I giggled getting up. I got my part down and quickly felt a wave of sadness hit me. I remember the night in my room when Darien and I danced together. He’s an amazing dancer and now I was sad. Luckily we were finished.
I went to my dressing room to start getting ready and I sighed as I plopped on my couch. I grabbed my guitar and started strumming the chords. “Your smile, it makes me feel so warm the way it radiates off your face. And your eyes...the twinkle that goes right by, the glistening so beautiful. Mmm. Oh and your lips, your lips, your lips...so perfect and soft. The way they capture mine makes me get all high, like when I inhale your scent... but baby you’re my kryptonite! You make me weak, I always want you by my side ... every day and night. Baby please...you’re mine.” I just started singing random things that I liked about Darien and it came out good. I started to write it down so I wouldn’t forget and it and I ended up naming it ‘You’re My Secret.’ I smiled as I kept on singing.
“Honey?” My mom said as she came into the room.
“Hey mom,” I smiled. She waddled over and sat on my bed. Her belly was so cute.
“What’s up? I’ve been listening outside the door.” She laughed.
“Oh... I just wrote this random song.” I shrugged. “Maybe I’ll add it to the roster,” I said grinning.
“Really? It’s lovely, I say do it.” She nodded. I added more words and sang it softly as mom watched silently. “Now is it for Darien?”
“Huh?” I choked.
“Sweetie, I’m not dumb. You’re talking about all the things you like about him and plus it’s called You’re My Secret. Duh.” We both laughed.
“Fine it is and we’re...I don’t know!” I cried out.
“What happened?” She frowned.
“He kissed another girl” I sighed.
“Oh, sweetie! Did you see it? Why?” She said with a sour look.
“No...” I mumbled.
“Well, did you talk to him?”
“No, I’ve been dodging his calls. I’m still hurt!” I said
“I understand but you still have to talk to him, babe.”
“I will...just not now.”
“Alright and I do think you should sing that song. Good luck, we’ll all be watching from the box!” She squealed.
“Thanks, mommy.” I smiled up at her as my team came in to get me ready. Showtime.
I woke up early Sunday morning so I could watch my girl on Good Morning LA. I was so happy for her, I wish I could be there cheering her on. The anchors announced that she would be coming on and I melted at the sight of her. Even though we weren’t on speaking terms right now, I still felt the same about her; crazy.
“Welcome back! As we said earlier, we have a special guest performer today; Shae! She is Hollywood’s newest it-girl, who is taking the nation by storm. Here she is performing her new song; Girlfriend!” The crowd was filled with a bunch of excited fans and I was surprised that her fanbase was already big.
She came out, dressed in a gorgeous dress with flowers in her hair. She looked ethereal. “How are y’all doing?! I’m Shae and I’m so excited to be today! Let’s get it.” She began singing the lyrics and it was a really good song, I liked it a lot.
“She’s really good.” My mom said happily as she watched alongside me. I nodded and smiled softly.
“Thank you! I want to share another song that I’m working on. It’s not really done but it’s special. It’s called ‘You’re My Secret.’ Can I get my guitar?” The stage manager brought out her guitar and a stool and she sat on top before clearing her throat. “Tell me...tell me why are you so perfect for me? What’re you doing to me? You make me feel some things...make me dream some dreams...and I want to keep you to myself...my little secret. Baby can I tell you something...” She started singing before going into the chorus and I felt my heart warm up. She looked right into the camera and it was as if she was singing to me. “Your smile, it makes me feel so warm the way it radiates off your face. And your eyes...the twinkle that goes right by, the glistening so beautiful. Mmm. Oh and your lips, your lips, your lips...so perfect and soft. The way they capture mine makes me get all high, like when I inhale your scent... but baby you’re my kryptonite! You make me weak, I always want you by my side ... every day and night. Baby please...you’re mine.”
She finished the song and by the time she was done the crowd and I was both enamored with her. The crowd cheered and the anchors praised her and the song. The lyrics of that song, I just knew it was about us, and the feeling inside of my chest right now was so strong, I had to see her.