We are sitting on the couch in my apartment as Brent tells me that he is breaking up with me.
To be honest, I have been expecting him to break up with me a while now, since I found out two weeks ago from his best friend, Collin, that he has been cheating on me.
I'm actually surprised that it took him this long to do it, but knowing Collin, I would bet anything that he pressured Brent to step up and tell me the truth!
"I'm really sorry, Kels, but this, you and me, it's just not working. I've tried Kels, God knows I've tried to be patient and not push you, but we have been seeing each other for over a year and a half and I need to be with you Kels! Surviving on cold showers and jerking off is not working for me anymore.
Kellie, why can't you understand that I'm a man, I'm not a teenaged boy and I have needs baby? I'm a very sexual person Kellie and I need sex!"
The thing is, I read romance novels and I'm in love with being in love. You guys may think it's childish at my age, but I want to feel love and be loved.
Okay, I admit that I'm still a virgin at twenty years old, but I'm saving myself for that one special guy. I want to feel butterflies in my tummy, I want to feel passion, I want to feel how much my man loves me and needs me and how badly he wants me!
I want my first time with a guy to be amazing and I want my first time to be with a guy who loves me and respects me, is that too much to ask for?
"Brent, don't get me wrong, I truly understand how you feel, but, I think instead of choosing to cheat on me with another woman, you could have just talked to me about how you were feeling.
Besides, maybe it's for the best that we breakup, because I can't be with someone who would cheat on me and betray my trust just for a roll in the sack.
You know how important my first time is to me. If you cared about me at all, you would not cheat on me, ever!"
"Wait, wait, wait!!!!
Who told you that I was cheating?
I never said that I cheated, I said that I'm breaking up with you because clearly, after hearing you talk just now, you have no intention of us ever sleeping together! How do you expect me to live my life like a monk Kellie?"
"So Brent, let me get this straight, you are looking me in the eye right now and telling me that you did not cheat on me at all? In the eighteen months that we have been together, you are saying that you have never cheated on me, with another woman?"
"I did not cheat, Kels, I'm just tired of waiting and after this long, I don't think that you are gonna be ready to lose your V card anytime soon! I can't live my life this way anymore Kellie!
I need to have sex and why the fuck I'm not having sex with my girlfriend, is a mystery to me!"
I look at Brent in shock and disgust. The cheating bastard is looking me in the eye and is denying that he went out and has been having sex with another woman behind my back for months.
Come on, after everything we have been through, the least he could do at this point, is be honest with me!
"You lying bastard!!!! You did cheat on me and you have been cheating on me for months and you have the audacity to come here and lie to my face.
You're right, Brent, we should break up and not because I'm not ready to lose my virginity to a guy who doesn't appreciate or respect who I am but because you are a cheating, lying son of a bitch!"
"Who the fuck told you I was cheating?
Answer me Kellie!!!!
Son of a bitch!!!! Collin told you I was cheating, didn't he??"
That's right, Collin did tell me! He also said that he spoke to you about it many times and you couldn't care less if you hurt me or not, At least he cares enough to tell me the truth!!"
"This is seriously fucked up!!! What is it with you and Collin anyway??
I'm not stupid Kels, I know that there is something going on between the two of you!
I see the way you look at him!
You know what, fuck this, I'm done, it's over with us Kellie!!"
"Well I do hope it works out for you, Brent, I really hope that you're happy with your new girlfriend and despite everything that has happened between us, I wish you nothing but the best."
"Yeah, only you would wish me nothing but the best. I gave you my best Kels, for eighteen months, and what did I get?
Fucking nothing, just wasted my time in a dead end relationship. You are a cold frigid bitch and you are surprised that I had to get sex elsewhere?
You are the reason that I had to resort to cheating in the first place. We could have done other things but even giving me a handjob was too much for you to do!
Fuck this shit, I'm done with you!"
I sit there and watch Brent rant like a crazy person, then he brass his keys and cell phone from my coffee table and storms out slamming the door behind him with such force, the entire room vibrates for a few seconds, then silence.
I sit there and I know that I should feel something, anything, but to be honest, the only thing I feel is relief!
Relief, that the relationship is finally over because let me be honest with you guys here for a minute!
Brent wasn't entirely wrong when he said that there was something going on between me and Collin.
Come on guys, get your mind out of the gutter, I didn't cheat on Brent, but I think I should have ended the relationship a while back.
I care for Brent, I really do, but I don't love him. Brent was right, I wasn't going to sleep with him anytime soon, because I just never felt that zing, that spark, with him!
We would be making out and I can't say that he ever got me aroused or worked up enough to want to take things further.
I mean, I am a virgin, but in the books, plus what I've learnt from Sharon, they talk about all the passion and the lust and how hot you feel, that you just can't go another minute without being one with that person. It's like a burning need, no scratch that, it's like you feel you would die if you don't feel that person buried deep inside you, bringing you to the very pinnacle of pleasure!
Well that's what I want to feel and to date, I have never felt anything close to that with Brent!
Collin and I, we have never crossed any lines but I'm seriously attracted to him! I've known Vollin for as long as I've known Brent and boy, he is every woman's wet dream!
He is tall, at least 6 ft 3", has wash board abs, basically, he looks so good, it's sinful!
He isn't just a pretty face either, he is a very successful architect!
Brent and Collin have been friends since high school and they both the same age; 25 years old, but other than that, those two are like night and day.
Their personalities are like totally opposite and I know that Brent pisses off Collin on a regular basis and I can't help but wonder how those two manage to maintain a friendship and haven't killed each other yet!
Collin is very ambitious and has a very strong work ethic while Brent prefers to sit and watch football games, drink beers and party.
Still, I can't seem to get Brent's last words, before he left, out of my mind.
Am I really a frigid bitch?
I mean he wasn't wrong, we would be making out and he would get so turned on, he would be hard as a rock, but I never wanted to touch him or wanted to make him cum. He tried to touch me intimately more than a few times but I never felt comfortable with him touching me.
Oh God!!! Could he be right?
Maybe I am a cold bitch!!
I'm still sitting there on the couch, lost in my thoughts about what Brent said to me before he left, when my bestie, Sharon, walks in!
Sharon and I have been best friends since kindergarten. We are both attending University together and we share a two bedroom apartment no bigger than a shoe box, but it's ours and we love it!
"Hey bestie! How was your day?"
"Hey Shar! I have news! Brent broke up with me today!"
"Well I can't say that I'm heartbroken to see that fucker go!
How are you though?
Are you okay, Kels?"
"I'm great, maybe too great!
I'm a horrible person Shar, my boyfriend just broke up with me and I feel nothing. I'm relieved that it's finally over and all I can think about is Collin!
I'm a bad, bad person, Shar!"
"Bad person my ass! Brent is a total douche canoe and you know it! Please, it's about time that you got rid of his ass! He doesn't deserve you, Kels, you're much too good of a person to be with someone so heartless!"
Yeah, you guessed it, my best friend and my boyfriend never got along, and it was tiring always having to be a referee with those two because Sharon is right, Brent was really a self absorbed asshole! All he was concerned about was himself and how things affected him, he never considered other people and their feelings!
"So since that ass is out of the picture for good, what say we have a girls night?
What do you say, you and me hitting a club tonight?
Let's go out and dance our frustrations away and having a few cocktails won't hurt either!
Time to let loose and celebrate being free of Brent! Hey let's invite Collin to go with us, I know how you feel about him, Kels!
I just want you to be happy!!!"
"Yeah, I don't think hooking up with my ex boyfriend's best friend at a club, is the way to go right mow, Shar!
I think maybe I should stay home and take some time to grieve the loss of my first serious relationship!"
"Grieve the loss of your what now?
Listen, Brent has already moved on with co-worker bimbo. You have had the hotts for Collin forever, Kellie, it's time to go after what you want!
Tell me Collin Prescott is not who you want and we both stay home and mope together!"
"Okay, I admit, Collin is the guy I want, but he may not feel the same way about me, Shar!
What if I just go out and throw myself at him and he doesn't feel the same way, what then?
I don't want to take that risk and he rejects me! Besides, it's too soon to be thinking about another guy when my boyfriend just dumped me!"
"Are you listening to yourself?
All I'm suggesting is you go out tonight abd have some fun with Collin!
I'm not suggesting that you marry the guy!
Geez, come on, let's just go have fun!"
Sharon has always been able to convince me to do things I wouldn't normally do. She always pushes me out of my comfort zone but not tonight. I just want to curl up in my bed and read a good book.
"I appreciate the offer, but you forget that I'm working at the library tonight. It's my turn to close up this weekend and the library closes at midnight on Saturdays! Raincheck??"
"Okay, fine! But we are having a girls night soon!
Well since we aren't going to be painting the town red tonight, I'm just gonna shower and finish up an assignment that's due on Monday!"
Meanwhile I walk back to my room and start getting ready for my shift at work! I decide to send Collin a text, to give him a heads up with what just happened with Brent!
Hey Collin! Just a heads up, Brent came over and broke up with me! He also knows that you told me he was cheating. He left my place pissed so he may be heading your way! I'm really sorry for getting you involved in this mess 😔
I don't get a reply right away so I know that he must be busy. As I'm getting dressed for eork, Sharon storms into my room.
"Okay, I've had enough! What's bothering you, Kels??? Spill it!!"
"What? Nothing is bothering me, okay?"
"Yeah, and I fucking believe in the Easter Bunny! What else did that fucker tell you? You are clearly upset and if you don't tell me I'm gonna pay Brent a visit myself!!"
"It's nothing really, he just threw it in my face that I'm cold and frigid, because although I wasn't ready for sex, we could have done other things! I mean we tried but.........!"
"But what Kels? Rhat douche has mo right to force you to do something that you're not ready for!"
"It's just that sometimes we would be making out and he would get hard and he would beg me to give him a handjob or a blowjob, but I never wanted to do it!"
"Well yeah, guys are like that! They think with their dicks!"
"He said I pushed him to cheat becausei wouldn't satisfy him sexually and he is a grown man and he needs sex!!"
"Kels, none of this is your fault! Brent is a douche! Trust me, when you are with the right person, you would want to do a lot more than just touch him. You would want to suck, lick, tease and fuck him senseless and he would want to do that and more to you too!"
"Shar, tell me, how does it feel?"
"You feel a lot of things, Kels, from just a simple kiss your body responds, as a woman, your breasts grow heavy and start to ache for his touch, you start to get wet, and you feel an ache between your legs that only a a skilled tongue or fingers or better yet, a firm hard cock inside you can ease!"
"I've never felt anything of those things with Brent! His touch has never aroused me!"
"Well clearly the douche doesn't know how to arouse you much less please a woman!"
"Shar, tell me, do guys really need to cum or have sex regularly?"
"'Babe, your body has urges and you will feel the need for sex just as Brent described.
Trust me, when you experience your first orgasm, your body is going to naturally want more. It works both ways, so yeah, guys need that release just as much as we do!"
"I want to feel all those things, but it's never happened, suppose there is something wrong with me?"
"There is nothing wrong with you Kellie! You are just waiting for the right guy to awaken and release that sexual Goddess that lives within you!"
"Thank Shar! I feel much better now!"
She hugs me close and I really am grateful for having Sharon in my life.
She is always raw and honest with me and tjouvh she is my complete opposite, we have the best friendship in the world
Yeah, she is very open about her sexuality and she loves to have sex but she doesn't judge me becayse I haven't had sex yet.
She helps me embrace my true feeling about wanting my first time to be special. She is loyal and very protective of me and I would do just about anything for her as well.
We chat for a bit longer while I finished getting ready for work!