Housemates

“Listen, if you even think about sparing my sister another look, or even thought, I will cut you up, blend the pieces in my mother’s favorite blender and then feed you to my dog. Are we clear?” Wyatt threatens. He’s forgetting we don’t have a dog. I roll my eyes and glance at my sister who looked amused.

“Wyatt, give the poor kid a break.” Luna suggests with a small smirk, glancing at the terrified guy I brought home.

See, I was just on a date with a boy from school and it was going perfectly fine until I got home. My brother Wyatt, who is older by a total of 3 minutes, took it upon himself to threaten him.

Meanwhile my sister Luna, who is younger by 4 and a half minutes, watched with an amused expression. This is what I get for letting my date walk me to the door when I have an overprotective brother I guess.

“A break? I don’t think s- What the fuck are you still doing here? Scram.” He hisses. The boy scurries back to his car and drives off. The scowl on Wyatt’s face transforms into a more peaceful expression. “As I was saying, I don’t think so. You two don’t know what goes on in a teenage boy’s mind. I do. They want one thing.” He says.

Me and Luna share a look.

“Food?” I guess. My sister snorts.

“Partys?” She adds.

Wyatt pauses to think over our guesses then shrugs. “Well yeah but also sex.” He says simply.

“But...you’re a boy.” Luna says slowly. He sighs and places a hand on her shoulder.

“Exactly.”

“Wyatt Zachary Simpson, Luna Elizabeth Simpson and Annabelle May Simpson, get your asses in here!” Mom shouts. Luna’s eyes widen.

“Oh shit.” She mumbles. Wyatt just looks in the direction of Mom’s voice in confusion.

“Couldn’t she have just said kids get your asses in here?” He asks. I laugh and shrug, deciding to walk to the kitchen where she is before we get into more trouble. My jaw drops when I walk in. The kitchen is covered in eggs and flour, pans litter the floor and the sink is at the brim of overflowing. Not to mention the stools at the bar are knocked over and a tray of burnt cookies rest on the counter.

“What the fu-” Mom gives me a look. I plaster on a sweet smile. “-dge” I finish. She nods in approval before turning to my guilty looking siblings.

“Would you two like to explain the events that happened in this kitchen?” She asks coolly. I stifle a laugh at their expressions.

“Um...tornado?” Wyatt offers quietly. Mom shakes her head and narrows her eyes at the two of them.

“This is why baking is Annie’s job. Clean up this mess and throw out the disgrace of cookies.” She orders. They groan and set to work. Mom clasps her hands together and gives me a mischievous smile.

“As for you, tell me about your date.”

--------------------------------------------

“I’m no ordinary girl, I’m from the deep blue underworld. Land or sea, you got the power if you just believe.” I sing under my breath. I hear a laugh from my doorway and quickly look up from my not at all childish Netflix show. Luna raises an eyebrow.

“H2O, seriously? You’re seventeen, not seven.” She teases. I gasp and dramatically place a hand over my heart.

“Excuse me, young lady, but don’t you dare insult this fantastic show you uncultured swine. You have no right.” I huff and shake my head. “You’re a disappointment to humankind, Luna-Bear.” I mumble. She laughs.

“And you’re a seven year old trapped in a teenager’s body but you hardly see me complaining. Besides, I wasn’t insulting the oh so fantastic mermaids. I’m simply saying it’s a kid’s sh-”

She gets cut off by me throwing a pillow at her face. She gasps and stares at me in shock. I stick my tongue out at her. She clenches her fists.

“Oh it is on.” She growls before marching over and whacking me in the face with the same pillow I threw at her.

“Oh no you didn’t.” I say, sassily snapping my fingers. She smirks wickedly.

“Oh yes I did.” She replies. I jump up and repeatedly hit her with another of my pillows. She laughs and jumps onto my bed before yelling out “cannonball” and jumping on me.

I grunt as I hit the floor and groan in pain. Luna erupts into laughter and smirks at me.

“Thanks for cushioning my fall, Sis.” She says sweetly. I glare at the she-devil standing above me.

“No problem.” I mutter.

We hear someone clear their throat in the doorway and whip our heads around to face an irritated mother.

“Luna, I sent you up here to inform Annabelle it was time for dinner. Not to pummel her to the ground.” Mom says slowly. She grins innocently and shrugs.

“She started it. She threw a pillow at my face.” She informs mom. Mom turns her icy blue eyes on me. I gulp and point at Luna.

“Well she provoked me.” I accuse. Mom finally just sighs and rubs her forehead before shaking her head at us.

“Why do I even bother with you two? Please fix yourselves up to look somewhat presentable. We have guests.” She orders before turning and walking back downstairs.

I share a look with my beloved sister and we both erupt into more laughter. Finally, after like five minutes, we haul our asses up and get ready. I rummage through my closet for a decent top.

Do I have nothing decent in here? I have so many clothes yet none of which I feel like wearing.

I manage to pick out a simple blue off the shoulder crop top that ends right above my belly button and some black ripped jeans. Why do I even need to change? I’d rather eat dinner in my hoodie and sweatpants. I mean, is it really necessary to fix myself up for whoever these guests are?

I plug my phone in and head downstairs. Wyatt is conversing with a familiar head of brown hair that belongs to the spawn of satan himself.

Oh hell to the no.

I march right over to mom, mumble a quick hello to Mr. and Mrs. Beckham and then drag my birth giver away. She scowls at me.

“Annab-”

“Yeah yeah I know. Manners. I said hello, that’s got to count for something. Now listen, Mommy Dearest, why the heck didn’t you inform me that our guests included the devil?” I ask. Mom sighs.

“Because I knew you wouldn’t have bothered trying to look semi-nice if I told you Chris was attending.” She says slowly. I mean, she has a point. I would’ve stayed in my comfortable sweatpants.

Mom pats my shoulder and walks back over to Christopher’s parents, apologizing in the process. Luna pops up beside me and smirks.

“Aw. Look at that. Your boyfriend has arrived.”

I slap her upside the head and cross my arms, glaring at the floor. “Can’t he just go choke on a goldfish and let us live in blissful peace without him?” I whine. She laughs and shakes her head.

“You’re being dramatic. Chris isn’t that bad.” She says with a shrug. I scoff.

“Yeah...he’s worse.”

Wyatt finally notices us across the room and smirks before saying something to the demon. He also turns and raises an eyebrow, a mischievous glint in his eyes. The boys walk over much to my utter dismay.

“I don’t know how much more clear I need to make it that I hate your guts and wish you wouldn’t ever be within a 10 foot radius of me yet here you are...in my house...standing less than 2 feet away.” I state. Wyatt chuckles.

“You’re dramatic.”

“That’s what I said!” Luna exclaims.

Chris smirks. “Always a pleasure, Gorgeous.”

Wyatt’s smile morphs into a scowl. “Don’t call her that.” He says to his friend. Christopher raises his hands in surrender.

“Chill. I’m teasing her, Bro.” He says. Wyatt’s slight glare doesn’t move from Chris’s face.

Maybe he should keep calling me these nicknames. That way, Wyatt would be the one to murder him and get arrested and I wouldn’t even have to lift a finger...except to maybe help my brother escape prison.

“Dinner!” Mom shouts. We all head into the kitchen excitedly. My mom’s cooking is to die for. I don’t get how this woman can be such an amazing cook but burns anything she attempts to bake. It’s a mystery to me.

Meanwhile, I can bake amazing desserts but steer clear of any other form of cooking. I burned pasta on numerous occasions.

Oh, and Wyatt and Luna should just stay away from the kitchen. Period. They can’t cook or bake and would end up making a disaster, like earlier, or cooking up something non-edible, like their attempt at dinner last night.

“This is amazing, Mom.” Luna says with a mouthful of chicken pot pie. She’s seated next to me with Wyatt across from her and Chris across from me. My mom is at the end of the table and Chris’s Dad is at the other. His mom is next to him.

“Thank you, Sweetie. So, we have some news.” Mom says happily. I stop chewing and stare at her.

“Are you pregnant? I don’t think I could handle another sister, Mom.” Wyatt states. She rolls her eyes and sighs. I swallow the food in my mouth and laugh.

“Funny. I was going to say the same except about another brother.” I fire back.

“She’s not pregnant, Wyatt, but there will be another boy living under this roof.” Mrs. Beckham announces. The room is suddenly covered with a blanket of silence. Us kids look at each other confused.

“What do you mean?” Luna finally asks.

Mr. Beckham sighs. “My wife and I haven’t really had any alone time so we planned a 2 month trip to Hawaii and your mother offered to let Chris stay here instead of home alone for multiple months at a time.” He explains.

“What the forks and spoons.” I say, my jaw dropping. Wyatt fist pumps the air and Luna’s eyes widen.

A sudden pain in my leg informs me of the fact that I was just, in fact, kicked. I glare at Christopher who shrugs innocently.

“You’ll catch flies. Now...my lovely, amazing, wonderful parents...what the actual flying fucks are you talking about?” Chris asks. Wyatt raises an eyebrow but shrugs and continues shoving food in his mouth.

His mom laughs. “It won’t be so bad, Hun, relax. You’re living with your best friend for two months. Don’t you start complaining.” She says sternly. He rolls his eyes.

“Yeah him and his beyond annoying sister-” he motions towards me “-and the less annoying, not completely psychotic but still crazy sister.” He motions to Luna. She simply shrugs and follows our brother’s example of shoving food in her mouth.

While they may not be able to cook food...they sure as hell can eat it.

“Christopher. Watch your mouth. That was rude. Now apologize.” His father scolds. Mom laughs softly and shakes her head.

“No need for that. I don’t think Annie and Chris will ever get along.” She says with a sigh. I smirk and go back to eating my mom’s delicious cooking...while also planning ways to murder the devil’s spawn sometime within the next couple months.