Unnatural Humans Chapter Seven
Ps. This might have a few grammar mistakes, I tried to go back and fix as many as I could.
Ok enough with the rambling. HAVE FUN READING:)
When I was seven my father took me to my first karate class. I had been asking him for some time before then...well more like begging on my hands and knees but, that's beside the point. My obsession had started after my first nightmare. I had woken up in a screaming fit, a cold sweat glazed my forehead, and my body felt like it was burning up from the inside out restricting my lungs from grasping onto any sort of air.
It had taken me almost thirty minutes to calm down after that. If only I had known it would have gotten worse from there. I awoke in this same manner at all hours of the night for almost a week and the nightmares only got more frequent. I even remember having two in a row one night and I could tell how it was affecting my parents. They never said anything but, you could tell just by looking at them.
One night after one of my fits my father decided it was best for me to not go back to sleep right after, even if I had one eye open all night. My father stayed up with me against my mother's wishes and he snuck me downstairs to watch some old movies with him to keep me up. I remember every moment from that night like it was yesterday.
From the way he had opened a beer to drink but, never once took a sip from it to the stain on the left upper corner of the carpet on the concrete floor that looked like it had been there since before I was born.
"Pumpkin...Come here." he said while patting his lap, signaling me to come to join him in his dark green lazy boy that looked like it was on its last life.
I turned my attention away from the cheesy 80s movie that was humming low on my dad's tv he kept from college. I was sitting down on the carpet with my legs crisscrossed in front of me. I shuffled over to him climbing up onto his lap. My father was a big man and compared to my 4"0 seven-year-old self. I was always a daddy's girl. I don't what it was.
I was still pretty spooked from the nightmare I had and even though I thought I was hiding it well...he saw right through the act. I was always like that...not wanting people to see my suffering as to try and hide it. I saw what my suffering did to others and I didn't want them to suffer because of me so I tried to hide it and once in a while when I would let it slip like with my nightmares and I would immediately scold myself for that because I knew it meant I would have to watch my parents struggle to figure out what was wrong with me and even though I was only seven and couldn't control the nightmares I still mentally beat myself up because I knew I couldn't stop them.
As I sat in my father's lap watching tv I could tell he had something on his mind. He did this thing with his face where he would scrunch his nose up every once in a while like he smelling something but, In a way to where you would only see it if you were staring at him. He would quickly glance at me staring at him but, then return his gaze to the tv. After a little while, I guess my staring got too much for him because he finally took his full attention away from the movie to look at me.
"What are you looking at pumpkin?" He asked while turning to face me. He quickly touched his face to feel it checking to see if there was anything on it.
"Do I have something on my face?" He says while still touching his face. He made a few faces to try and make me laugh. A smile stretched across his face but, his smile quickly faded when he saw my face. He sighed knowing immediately what I was looking at with just one glance at my face. He turns me around to face him more so he could look me more in the eyes.
"I'm fine pumpkin" he gives me a little smile to try and comfort me but, he knew I wasn't buying his act. I was always good at calling people out on their bullshit even if they didn't know it was bullshit at the time. I saw the stress I put on my parents and they knew even if they tried to hide it that I would know but, they still tried to anyway.
"Dad...Why am I like this?" I asked. My voice was nothing over a whisper and I didn't even realize I had said something until I saw my father's face harden. It wasn't a face of anger or worry but, it was more of a face of being found out if that makes sense but, this emotion was only there for a fraction of a second before it was covered up with a fake smile. I knew this smile was fake because when my dad smiled for real he would get little creases by his eyes and on his forehead....this smile was trying to cover up what he was really feeling deep inside himself and even though he hid it well a little piece shined though and I know if it was anyone else they wouldn't see it but, I did.
"You know...t-the nightmares. Why do I get the nightmares?" As the question left my mouth a look of relief took over his face. He let out a breath that I didn't even know he was holding. He dropped his head a little and laughed to himself. He looked like he had just been told the best news ever and I didn't know why. He picked his head back up to look me in the eyes again. His hazel eyes looking into my blue ones. I saw that he wanted to tell me something but, held back for whatever reason. This was something my dad did often.
He would mask his emotions over one another to the point where you wouldn't even know what he was thinking. He did it all the time and right when you would pinpoint one emotion he was feeling he would cover it up with a new one.
He just stared me in the eyes for a time. The low hum of the television filling the silence. He finally looked away and turned around to look back at the tv. His face was emotionless and still. I was about to say something as I was confused as to why he just stared at me and said nothing but, then he opened his mouth which made me quickly shut mines wanting to hear what he said.
He closed his mouth again contemplating if he should say what he wanted. I had never seen my dad like this in my life. He looked different....like a shell of the man who was just there. I stayed staring at him waiting in anticipation for an answer.
"When I was younger-" he said his voice void of all emotions. I didn't know where this change in attitude came from. It was like I hit a nerve and he was trying his best to not snap at me right that second.
"I-I used to get these dreams....they were so vivid to the point where I didn't know if I was dreaming still or not" He finally turned to look at me after completing that statement. His eyes watered at the line like he was trying to hold himself back from crying. I finally saw a real emotion from my dad for the first time since I was born and I was excited to know stuff about his childhood because he never talked about this stuff.
"One day I had asked my dad those exact words you just asked me today.....and do you wanna know what he told me?" I nodded my head ready for his answer. He took my hands in his and brought them up to his lips giving them a little kiss.
"He told me that sometimes-" he broke eye contact again, looking back at the tv. "He told me that...my dreams were visions...a-and that nightmares were too... He said that these dreams and nightmares are just our hopes, dreams, doubts, and fears..invading our minds at night-" He paused for a second. My hands were still in his and he gave me a little squeeze to know he knew how I felt.
"But-" he said looking me in the eyes again. "That's all they are." He laughed as he saw the confusion written all over my face.
"I don't understand." I say feeling utterly confused. My seven-year-old mind couldn't comprehend what he was saying and he knew that because the next thing he said confirmed I wasn't supposed to.
"Me either." He laughs to himself. I always loved my father's laugh it was a rare occasion I got to hear it and when I did I always made sure to take a mental picture not knowing the last time I would hear it. I was still very much confused by his statement and still am today. How is knowing what dreams and nightmares are supposed to help with them? My father was a man of many things but, words were not one of them. "He also told me to just watch my favorite movie," he said out of the blue adding some lightness to the situation. I took this opportunity to ask a question about his childhood knowing I might not have another chance anytime soon. Like I said my father wasn't an open book and when he did open up it was only little bits at a time.
"What's your favorite movie dad?" I ask jumping at the opportunity. He smiles to himself, patting my leg so I knew to get up off his lap. Once I was off he walked over to his old college tv and kneeled to where he kept all of his movies. He tossed a couple of DVD covers around before finally settling on one. He turned his body around towards me again and held up the sleek movie cover.
"Karate kid." he says with a playful smirk on his lips.
I jolt out of my bed due to the loud piercing scream in my ears. I groan to myself realizing that it was just my alarm clock on my nightstand. I push my head back into my pillow hoping for a couple of extra minutes of sleep. I blindly pat around my nightstand to try and find the little demon responsible for waking me up. My hand finally finds it as I try to find the button to shut it up. I hit the top of the alarm and when it doesn't go off I hit it again and again and again.
When I finally had enough I grab the lifeless robot and throw it across the room. A smile creeps onto my face as the annoying beeping comes to an abrupt stop when the clock hits my bedroom wall. I snuggle back into my pillows ready to drift back into my slumber when my bedroom door is thrown open and I am met with the crisp morning air. My eyes snap open when I realize I have no cover on the lower half of my body.
"Jade get your ass up now!" I am met with the all to the familiar voice of my foster mom Kimmiline screaming her heart out at 8 am like usual. I let out a loud sigh..still trying to process what's happening through my sleepy brain. I reach out for my cover to cover myself up again and when I'm quickly met with nothing but sheets I glance at the floor. Another loud groan escapes my lips as I see my cover on the ground. I then catch the legs of Kimmiline. My eyes trace up to her body slowly knowing as soon as I lock eyes with her I would have to get out of my bed.
When my tired eyes meet her angry ones I mentally scold myself for looking into the eyes of the beast. Her arms are crossed over her chest and her foot is tapping the carpet under my bed. She looks at me with that "You better get your ass up or else." look and stares down at me.
"Do you know what time it is?" lowering her voice but, still keeping it well above a whisper.
I shrug into my pillow not caring about the time.
"Why is that?" She says running a hand through her hair dirty blonde hair. Kimmiline was on the younger side than most parents here in little Brooklyn. Most parents were around their mid-40s to early 50s. Kimmiline looks like she could have been a runway model with the genes she has. She has long blonde hair, fair skin, and blue eyes. The whole Barbie package but, instead she decided she wanted to be the secretary for our local police department. Little Brooklyn is the name we gave out the humble abode of a town.
We're located right outside of Brooklyn, New York... seriously if you blink while driving out of Brooklyn then you're sure to miss us. We're just that small and I'm not saying it's a bad thing or anything but when you think of how many people are here you wonder to yourself how the hell do they all live there and to be honest I have no idea.
We all grew up with each other and I can name every single person in this town. So when someone new comes it's not hard to miss. They stick out like a sore thumb and as cliche, as it sounds I feel as though they all raise me just as my parents did...Now don't get me wrong they are all your typical "small town all in your business and knows everything about everyone" but, I'm not gonna say I hate all of them and Kimmiline and Adam are some of those people. So when Kimmy and Adam offered to foster me I wasn't opposed to it and even though I'm living with them under these circumstances I know it could have been worse.
I point to the mess I made earlier and shrug again.
"You tell me." I say but, it comes out more muffled due to my face being in my pillow. Her head snaps in the direction of my finger. Her jaw flexes as she saw the broken clock on my hardwood floor. By her reaction, I could tell I probably scratched the wall or something. I knew she was trying to hold herself back when her eye visibly twitched. She drops her head with her eyes closed and lets out a long exhale.
She pinches her nose bridge with her index finger and thumb and shakes her head ever so slightly.
"God....you're gonna be the death of me" she huffs out. A hint of a laugh somewhere in her tone. I take this time to take my face from the pillow and looking at her again while she wasn't looking. She looked tired....almost like she hadn't gotten any sleep in a month. You could see the faint shadow of her eye bags which made her seem much older than she was. I almost felt guilty knowing I was the cause of her appearance and even worse.....I knew I was doing this to her and just couldn't stop myself no matter how hard I tried. It's like something snapped in me the day I saw my parent's bodies being dragged out of that swampy water and no matter how hard I tried to fix it...I just couldn't.
I would speak and do things without thinking or hesitation and to top it all off I kinda liked the rise I would get out of people when I did this. It's like I didn't care about the consequences right then and there and even if I had a consensus about it at that moment I felt nothing. It was like I was this....empty black hole and the deeper I fell into it the worse I got and the harder it was to bring myself out of it.
So seeing her like this...wanting to snap at me and restraining herself from doing so made me feel...happy.
And I know what you're thinking... " what the fuck is this girl on-" and honestly... I have no idea.
My thoughts are cut short when I see a pair of well-manicured hands snapping in my face.
"Did you hear anything I just said?" I blink out of confusion....not hearing anything she just said. I lift my head off of my pillow barely being able to see out of my puffy eyes. She makes that worse by yanking open the curtain that was covering my window right above my bed. I shield my eyes to keep myself from going fully blind.
"Jesus....why would you do that?" I asked squinting my eyes to not let the light seep into my sockets.
"Just get up....you're late for school" is all she says before making her way out of my small room. I had the smallest room in this entire two-story house. We lived right in the middle of town.....for once in my life I had next-door neighbors and didn't have to walk 5 minutes to get to the nearest house. I wanted to stay in my old house but, my therapist thought a change of scenery would be good for my health plus since I was being placed into foster care with Kimmy and Adam they knew they wouldn't just want to up their entire lifestyle to move into my dead parent's house.....I just wish I could have had more time in that house you know....you never really think about that stuff until it's too late.
Kimmy and Adam offered me a bigger room but, this one reminded me of my old room..with how small it was and the layout. Kimmy stomps out of my room muttering a string of profanities as she closes my door. I lay my head back down on my pillow and just as I'm about to close my eyes for a quick second of nice sleep...I'm interrupted yet again by my one last scream from Kimmy for me to get up for school. This one was a little muted because she was downstairs and my bedroom door was closed but, I got the point.
I put my head on my pillow silently cursing myself...I kick my feet up in the air while on my stomach looking like a little kid having a tantrum in the middle of the store because their mom wouldn't get them any candy. I finally stop my silent fit and sit up with my legs crossed in front of me. I have never been a morning person and ever since my parents died....it feels like it's been taking me almost all of my energy I got from my night's rest to even pick my head up from the pillow. I eventually get the strength to place my feet on the floor feeling the delicate carpet. I take a little bit of time standing up so I can feel the carpet under my toes longer. I put my arms over my head and stretch....my shirt lifting a little as I stretch back exposing my bare skin.
I was wearing a black semi-cropped tank top that stopped just above my belly button and some plaid pajama pants from a Christmas set I got a couple of years ago. I never wore pajama sets together..even if intended to. One part of the set was always in the washer or dirty so I just never bother anymore. I walk over to my closet and pick out an outfit...I picked out one of my dad's old pullovers and some light washed jeans. I always liked oversized clothes and would always steal this jacket from him and now....well now I won't be able to hear him complaining about me wearing his only brown jacket. I bring the jacket to my nose and take in his scent that still lingered. It was very faint...and soon it would be a memory...just like him. I smile to myself as I remember all the times he wore this jacket. He would always spill something on it no matter how careful he was and somehow my mother always got the stain out. I don't know how she did it but, by the time she was done with it....you wouldn't even be able to tell that not too long ago a big stain covered the fabric.
I place my clothes on my bed as I make my way to my bathroom next door. I walk into my bathroom and flick on my lights. The first thing I see is my appearance. I looked horrible. My eyes were red and puffy from sleep, my hair was a rat's nest on my head, and I looked like I have just been put through hell. I kinda scared myself with how I looked. I turn on the water making sure to make it extra cold to try and wake myself up a little more.
I cup my hands catching as much water as I can before bending down and splashing my face with the freezing water. I lift my head seeing as the water helped a little. My eyes weren't as puffy but, definitely still wet and I finally looked awake. I run my hand through my hair trying to tame the wild beast that I call hair and make it look presentable. My eyes stare at my reflection once more and I let out a sigh. My eyes looked less blue than they usually do. I looked hollow and that if you cut me open right now then all you would see is darkness. I have just been so angry and sad all the time that I have forgotten what any other emotion feels like. My hand subconsciously traces the tattoo of my mom's name on my left collarbone I got right before my mom died. She wanted to get matching tattoos of each other name's. She said it would be a great first tattoo and how much I would love it.
What she didn't expect though was for me to get addicted to them. I got two more right after that..one on my right upper arm and another on my left ribcage just under my chest. I didn't get anymore before she died but, after everything happened I kinda fell back into my addiction and I now have eight tattoos. I would sneak out of the house at night and go to tattoo shops right outside of town. The first time I snuck out I wasn't planning on even leaving town but, while I was walking I just kinda found myself aimlessly walking to the entrance of our small town and making my way to relive one of the happiest memories I have of my mother. I thought they were gonna turn me away since I'm not eighteen but, they didn't even check for my ID. That night I got my dad's birth year on my left wrist. I would sneak out every weekend and just get a new tattoo. I now have one behind my right ear, an ankle tattoo, one on my left forearm, and a stick and poke on my upper left arm.
Adam was the first one to notice how I would wake up with a new tattoo every other week. One night he stayed up and waited for me to get into my room. He scared me so bad I flipped him on his back. Luckily, Kimmy is a heavy sleeper because she would have heard him hit the ground. Especially when he started rolling all over the ground in pain.
"Oh my god...I am so sorry" I said while laughing. My hand was clamped over my mouth to try and keep me from laughing. I kneeled next to him to try and help him. His rolling around my room had stopped but, he was still in pain. We lock eyes for a second... I kneeled over him trying to make sure he was ok. My room was still dark, the only light coming from the lamp from my desk by my closet. A loud laugh filled the silence in the room as he realized what had just happened. His laugh was one of those laughs where you didn't know if he was in pain or not. He started uncontrollably coughing and used his hand to cover his mouth.
He rolled over onto his knees to hold his stomach as he laughed so much making his stomach hurt. I was confused as to why he was laughing...I just flipped him on his back, he had to be hurt. I just sat there watching him laugh and hold his stomach. At some point, something clicked and I just started laughing too. I don't know what it was that made me laugh...his laugh or the fact that I had flipped him on his back because he startled me.
"I-I tried to scare you...for sneaking out." he says between his laughing fit.
"Why would you do that?" I say calming down a little bit, still laughing a little. He slides his feet from under him so he can sit down on the floor. His knees were popped up and he rested his arms on them. "I wanted to teach you a lesson about sneaking out" he finally stops laughing.
"So you scare me." I say with a deadpan look. This only makes him laugh again. "Yes....but I didn't think you would do that!" he says between laughs. I roll my eyes at him. Leave it to him to forget I took karate for ten years.
"Then...what did you think I was gonna do?"I say crossing my legs in front of me so I could face him more. He just shrugs and stands up on his feet. He grabs his lower back stretching a little. "I don't know...but, not that" is all he says before starting to walk to my door. He had a little limp like he was still in some pain. I stand up confused as to what that was supposed to teach me about sneaking out.
"What was that even supposed to teach me about sneaking out." I say stopping him in his tracks. He opens up my door and places his hand on my door frame. "Mhmm" is all he says with a shrug. He makes this face like he was thinking of an answer.
"To not sneak out I guess"
With that, he walks out of my room...leaving me way more confused than I was when he didn't even say anything. "What is with men in my life not giving me clear answers" I murmur to myself crawling into my bed to rest my eyes.
My finger gently traces the cursive letters on my collarbone. I close my eyes you try and picture my parents faces like I always did at the beginning of every day. I let out a shaky exhale trying to calm myself down. I want so badly to cry but, my body physically won't let me and it's honestly scaring me. I open my eyes after a minute and grab my toothbrush to brush my teeth. As I brush my teeth I grab my hairbrush to try and brush the knots out of my hair, after I'm done in the bathroom I go back to my room to get ready. I throw on my dad's old jacket and a pair of light-washed jeans.
I do a double-take in my mirror to make sure I look alright and when I'm happy with my appearance, I grab my book bag from behind my door and make my way downstairs. I usually catch a ride with Adam but, since I'm late I'm going to have to, unfortunately, take the bus to school. I did have a car but, every time I get behind the queen to drive I have this sudden urge to just run off the bridge like my parents and end it all... if I do get behind the wheel by myself then who is gonna stop me, so I took it upon myself to not drive by myself.
I would call Nora but, I think it would be a little awkward seeing as though we don't talk to each other anymore. Yep...that's right my best friend since kindergarten is no longer my best friend due to me and I quote "holding her back". What type of shit is that. Telling your best friend who just lost their parents that's they shouldn't be said anymore and all because they are "holding you back" from having a social life and being happy for their senior year. I all but, laughed in her face for that one, thinking she was joking but, when she stopped talking to me for two weeks straight I finally got the memo. Worst of all the next day I saw her hanging with Adrien and Lilli like she had been best friends with them for years. The only person I still exchange words with is Owen and it's only when we're in class together since we're lab partners. Even then our conversations never get past a few sentences between each-other.
As I reach the bottom of the steps I am hit with the aroma of home-cooked breakfast. My stomach involuntarily growls at the smell of food. I walk by the coach throwing my book bag on it along the way and stroll over to the kitchen. My hunger grows when I see Kimmy in the kitchen dancing to the radio station as she is hunched over the stove making breakfast. She turns her head towards me walking in, sensing my presence. She gives me a little nod of acknowledgment and continues cooking. I pull out a stool from under the island to sit down so I can eat.
"You're gonna have to eat this fast-" She says with her back to me. "I got to get to work and you gotta get to school." she says leaving the stove for a second to get something out of the refrigerator.
"Why are you cooking me breakfast then...if you are late?" I ask already knowing her answer. I smirk you myself, leaning on my elbows. She just shakes her head as she sets up my plate on the counter.
I could tell she was silently laughing from the way her back moved. "You know I can never let you go to school on an empty stomach."
Kimmy places a plate of scrambled eggs and toast in front of me. She rushes over to the stove to turn it off and to get her stuff ready for work.
"Hurry up....you're gonna miss the bus." She says while running towards her bedroom to get a few things.
"Yeah..yeah." I say while rolling my eyes. I quickly eat my eggs and toast while watching Kimmy run around the house trying to get everything she needs for work. My eyes follow her as she dashes back and forth from her bedroom and back.
"Keys...keys...keys.." she murmurs under her breath.
"Did you check by the door?" I say as I get up to place my plate in the sink.
"Right...door" She stops dead in her tracks and walks towards the door. She disappears for a moment before sticking her hand from behind the wall that was blocking the door from the rest of the house, The keys in her grasp. She jiggles them in the victory of finding them. I walk over to the couch to grab my book bag and make my way to the door. Kimmy was already walking to her car when I got out of the door. The bus stop is right in front of my house since I'm on the corner street so I sit down on my front porch to wait for it. Kimmy pulled out of the driveway and turned down the road towards the police station.
I watched as her car became nothing but, a distant object disappearing from my line of vision. Cars zoomed down the street and I wondered what they were doing today. Maybe some were late for work like Kimmy or were living a double life as a noble citizen by day and a crime lord by night. That's the thing about people I guess....you never really know the real someone unless they want you too and when they did show you the real them how do you know it's not just another mask they put on to trick you into thinking that.
I pull out my phone from my back pocket to check the time. "Great....late again." I murmur to myself. My bus driver was always late to pick me up. I still have no idea how she still has her job with being late every day. I pull out my headphones I stuffed in my backpack before leaving the house and plug them into my phone to listen to some music. I put a headphone into my ear but, before I could put the other one in I heard a snap of what sounded like a branch next to the side of my house. My head snapped in the direction of the sudden sound making the hairs on my neck stand up.
Now you might not think this is unusual but, for this to happen by the side of the house and the fact that we didn't get that many animals that could make a branch snap like that in this part of town made my skin crawl. It didn't help that I always jumped to the worst conclusion when things happened like this and I would freak myself out. I was alone and my thoughts were getting to me. I stared at the side of my house like the second I looked away someone would come behind me a snatch me up. I stared for at least two more minutes making sure I wasn't just hearing things and when I didn't hear anything after that I slowly turned my head back to my phone in my lap. I took my headphones out of my ears so I could focus on the sounds around me but, I couldn't shake this feeling like I was being watched. My stomach was turning at all the possible scenarios that could happen right now and I was not liking it. My heart rate started to pick up a bit and my palms started to get clammy. I started bouncing my leg up and down, impatient with how late the bus was, and just wanted her to get here as soon as possible.
When I heard the engine of the yellow bus I all but jumped up and ran towards the street stop sign. She came around the corner as I made it to the stop sign. She stopped right in front of me and opened her door as she stopped. I leaped onto the bus giving her a nod of acknowledgment. I walked to the back of the bus catching a few people's stares as I did. It's been three months since my parents died but, everyone still looks at me like it happened yesterday. I sit down in the last seat on the bus and put my backpack next to me so no one would sit next to me. A walk of relief washes over me as I feel the jerk of the bus starting up again and starting to drive towards the school.
I look around to see people laughing and smiling with their friends as we made ourselves closer to hell. I turn my head to stare out of the window trying to get lost in the blurry passing cars. Out of the corner of my eye, something catches my eye well, someone. It was like time stopped for a split second as my eyes landed on this one person. He looked so out of place in this town..like he was visiting family or something for the week and you could tell he wasn't from here. Like I said people stick out like a sore thumb here and I know every single face in this town but, even though I know he wasn't from here I still felt like I had seen him somewhere. From the quick second I saw him he looked me directly in the eyes like he knew I was staring at him through my passing school bus. His eyes locked onto mines and for some reason, I couldn't stop staring at him.
His head followed the bus and he continued to stare until I was so far away that he looked like a speck in the distance. I turned my head back from the window to look directly in front of me. I stare at the seat in front of me...my eyes trace the fake leather and all the tear in it from being used over the years. No way did that just happen...I think to myself. That was one of the weirdest interactions in my life and we didn't even see each other for more than a couple of seconds. He seemed so familiar but, yet as I had never seen him before in my life. I wondered what he was doing in a town like this. I kept my gaze on the brown seat in front of me getting lost in my thoughts, thinking about all the possible reasons he was in this town.
I didn't get a good look at his face since I only saw it for five seconds but, I didn't notice one thing about him and that was his eyes. His eyes were this blueish-green. Like right in the middle of the two so you really couldn't tell which one it is more of. He looked at me like he was searching for me through the entire bus. I shook my head at this thought. No way was he looking for me...I was just doing what I always did and freak myself out of the tiniest little things. It was just a coincidence that his eyes happen to catch mines.
I laughed to myself as I run a hand through my dark brown hair. I forget sometimes how long it used to be when I was younger. It was past my waist but, my mom wanted me to cut it if I was going to be in karate. So I did and I've kept it just past my shoulders for as long as I can remember. I groan to myself as realize we just pulled into the school bus area. I throw my head back and look up at the ceiling. Sighing to myself and closing my eyes to mentally prepare for today. I was one of the last people off of the bus since I was in the back. As soon as my white sneakers hit the pavement of the school my mood instantly drops like I have been told the worst news ever. Any evidence of happiness that was in me leaves within seconds. I didn't even have that much happiness left in me, to begin with so this was just overkill. I walk up to the double glass doors that were the only thing between me and stepping into an inferno. Before I walk in I put in my headphones to drown out the noise of people and so they won't come up to me and try an talk.
I open the doors and like always it's like my world slows down but, everyone just keeps going. I walk down the halls towards my lockers...seeing everyone laughing and living their life while it feels like mines are falling apart around me. I felt like I was drowning..sinking lower and lower to the bottom while everyone was watching from the surface, not one person trying to save me. I knew that this feeling would never go away no matter how much I tried to ignore it. I would never be truly happy again. No one could change that and it makes me mad when in movies people are magically fixed by another person and just magically forgets that they were sad before. I get to my locker and hurriedly put in my combination trying to get to class before anyone else so I didn't have to endure their staring as I walked into class.
I manage to open my locker on the first try and yank it open. I place my book bag into it, only getting the books I needed for my first period. As I was getting my books out of my locker I feel a presence next to me behind my open locker door. I look down at the floor to sneak a look at the person's shoes hoping I could pinpoint who they belonged to and I mentally curse myself as I recognize the high-top black converses. My suspicions are confirmed when I close my locker and am met with hazel eyes and a mop of curly black hair. I suck in a sharp exhale trying to control myself in front of everyone. I try to walk away but, am stopped when he steps right in front of my walking path. I stop abruptly stopping myself from crashing into his chest due to how fast he stepped in front of me. I try to step in front of him but, he blocks me again from getting to my class. I attempt to step around him one more time but, when he again steps into my line of view I let out a sigh of defeat and finally look up into his eyes.
"What do you want Adrien?" I say, my voice laced with enough venom to kill an entire city. He smirks a little knowing I finally gave up trying to get around him to get to class.
"I just wanted to talk to you...that's all." he says looking down at me. I roll my eyes looking anywhere but his eyes, I didn't want to look at them knowing I would all but, melt if I kept eye contact with him any longer.
"Isn't that what you always want to do." I say more of a statement than a question. I tighten my books to my chest needing something to force my anger on to, other than on him. My face had no emotion written on it whats so ever, a trick I learned from my dad but, inside I wanted to just start to cry with him in my presence. I kept my gaze on the people behind us walking to class to distract myself from the burning passion I had to punch him in the face right in the middle of this hallway.
"Hey-" he says his voice sounding so delicate at that moment. He tries to catch my line of vision so I had no choice but, to look him in the eyes. "Look...I just wanna talk p-please" his voice was just under a whisper and he sounded so sincere at this moment. His hazel eyes stared into my blue ones and my face softens a little bit, not so much to where I didn't still look mad. I knew exactly what he was doing. He was playing the victim. Acting like he really cared and really "just wanted to talk". He did this all the time in our relationship. When he pressured me into having sex or when we would get into fights and he would turn the entire argument onto me and made me feel like I was in the wrong. All the moments of him manipulating me played over and over in my head every time I see him and I always wonder to myself how I never figured out he was manipulating me until it was too late and that wonder soon turns into anger and hate.
"Adrien I-I need to get to class...so can you please get out of my way?" I stand there for a second to see if he would move and when he didn't I tried to push past him again but, he stepped over to block me again. I was getting really angry and it didn't help that I knew I wasn't going to be first in class so I can avoid people.
"Why won't you talk to me?" He says his voice raising a little bit, not enough to where people could hear him. His hand throws up in the air like he was in utter confusion.
"Adrien what is there to talk about...seriously you cheated on me-" I said stepping closer to him. He stepped back in instinct so there would be a little room between us. "Obviously you got bored of me and thought you could get away with it." I say trying again to push past him. My shoulder brushes past his but, my walking is soon interrupted when a large hand wraps around my arm and all but, yanks me back. The sudden movement made me stumble back and almost fall. His grip was so tight that my arm couldn't even respond to the pain fast enough. I look around to see if anyone saw what he just did but, am greatly disappointed to see that not one person was even looking our way. Leave it to the people of little Brooklyn to not be looking when they needed to be.
Due to the sudden jerk back my hands lose grip of the few books I had in my hand, making them fall into the floor. The sudden loud noise made people's eyes snap in the direction of the scene.
"What the hell...let go of me!" I said my voice was kinda shaky. I was still in shock from what just happened, my brain didn't even process it all the way.
"Don't you fucking walk away from me jay" his voice was nothing above a whisper but, it was so threatening my body froze. His face was hard now compared to the soft look he just had moments before. His grip tightens even more on my arm making me flinch at the sudden jolt of pain in my arm. My eyes widen as they meet his hazel eyes again but, they were different now.
They weren't their usually green-hazel, They almost looked black. My body was frozen and a cold shiver ran up my body. I had never seen him like this ...yes he's gotten mad at me before but, never like this. He seemed like a total stranger and not as the boy had dated for 2 years. It was like something snapped in him and he didn't realize it until he saw how startled I was by his sudden switch in moods. It was like he realized that he was in public and couldn't show this side of him to anyone because his face immediately softened and he looked around to see people looking at us. Everyone froze what they were doing that was in a few feet of us to see what was happening between Adrien Black and his ex-girlfriend.
He slowly releases his grip on my arm but, he still kept a hold of my arm. We just stared at each other for a moment. I was still trying to process what happened and he was just realizing what he did. His chest was rising up and down hard due to his heavy breathing and he slowly looked down at the ground like he was ashamed for what he just did. His head falls and a loose curl falls into his face as he does this.
"Look-" he says still looking at the first. "All I want to do is talk...okay-" He looks back up to meet my eyes. His hazel eyes were back to normal now and I was still confused how he switched his moods so quickly. It was almost like I imagined him looking like he did 5 seconds ago.
"All I want" he whispers. I blinked a few times to try and process what just happened. I didn't know if this was some type of guilt trip or gaslighting but, I felt like I was being pressured into saying yes like all those times before. I drop my head letting out a long sigh contemplating if I should say yes or not. My thinking was interrupted when I hear the chime of the late bell. Great....not only was I not gonna be the first to class but, I was also going to be late. I look back into his eyes and it happens.
I melt...even though I hate this man with my entire heart there was still a part of me that still loved him. I knew the only way for him to let me go to class was for me to say we can talk but, I had to smart about it. I didn't want to talk right now and I knew he was gonna suggest that.
So I caved in and said "okay". I could tell he wasn't expecting me to say yes but, what else was I supposed to do. Everyone had scurried off to class so it was just me and him in this hallway along with a few more people. He lets go of my arm completely and before he could say anything I spoke
"But, we're gonna speak after school...I don't have the energy to listen to you lie for however long you need too" and with that, I quickly picked up my books that fell on the floor and ran to class leaving him in the middle of the hallway by himself. My class was at the other end of the school so I was for sure going to be late am I would have to deal with everyone's stares the entire class period. I was bad enough I had to endure their staring in general, wondering why I was no longer friends with Nora or how I was holding up with my parents dying but, now I had to deal with them staring at me wondering what Adrien and I were talking about in the hallway this morning.
I take the twist and turns to get to my first period. I mentally scold myself when I realize I took the wrong turn to get to my class. I was so preoccupied with the whole Adrien thing I didn't even realize I turned down the wrong hallway. I quickly retrace my footsteps so I could find when I took the wrong turn. This was the class in the back where you couldn't take any shortcuts cause there was only one way to get to it. I stop trying to figure out where I turned wrong looking around to make sure I was walking the right way when something hit me...I was still hearing footprints behind me. They abruptly stopped right when I looked behind me to see who was walking. I thought it might be another student also late to class but, when I got that sickening feeling again from earlier I started to get scared. I started walking again, this time my walking a little bit faster just so if they were following me then they wouldn't know I know. My heart started racing as I realize I took the wrong turn again. I stop again still hearing the footsteps behind me than hearing them stop again. I try not to panic as I retrace my steps. I turn down a hallway picking up my speed a little bit more. My breathing starts getting irregular as my mind starts racing and the adrenaline starts pumping through my body. My mind is going frantic as I'm trying to figure out which way to get to my class. It was like my mind just went completely blank and I completely forgot how to get to this class I had been to over a hundred times. I grip my books harder to my chest as I'm speed walking in the halls of this big ass school. I turn a corner and my body instantly freezes. A cold shiver runs through my body as I'm met with a tall figure at the end of the hall staring right at me like he knew I would take this way. I couldn't see his face and I assumed it was a guy because of the build and height. We stared at each other in complete silence trying to see what the other would do. It started to get harder and harder to breathe as my body begins to panic. I subconsciously take a step back getting ready to pivot around and run for dear life.
As I step back and turn to run my worst fears are confirmed when I am met with another dark figure running into him.
"Shit" was the only thing I thought before everything went downhill.
Now that was a journey.
I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and as you can tell it was wayyyyy longer than my previous chapter and wayyy more detailed. My other chapters were around only 3,000 words but this one has almost a million. Took me a while to write it so, that's why I'm only updating on the weekends to I don't stress myself out.
The next update is an aesthetic board for the characters and will be posted with this one so you guys get two updates this weekend. Well really one update and a bonus but, you get it.
Again if you guys have any questions, feel free to ask and if you have in advice for my writing then that would be greatly appreciated. I have sooo many things planned for this book you guys are in for a ride. If you have any predictions or maybe any ideas you want me to add in the book then feel free to comment. I want to hear what you guys think.
Don't forget to comment and vote, it would mean a lot to me and I can't thank you guys enough for reading my book and I'm looking forward to finishing this book.
Until next time,