A Wolf’s Tear

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Twenty Four: Firsts

Selena continued her training with Dorran despite her utter distrust for the man. The move he made on her made her always put her guard up. He was trying so hard to get her attention when they were training and Selena was quick to shut him down.

Though her persistence to reject him did not stop her from seeing some of his admirable traits.

He was court on time and would sometimes be waiting for her when she was late. He didn’t like it when she complained about one part of the training and would always say a quick remark saying she was only being lazy. Then, when she could no longer handle the training, he let her take long breaks but only when it was truly necessary.

Those were the only thing that was noteworthy about him except his handsome exterior, she could give him that.

Now as she followed everything he taught her, she could see improvements in her stance. She felt more limber and fluid as she fought with him. It was hard to admit, but his teachings worked.

Dorran was a good teacher.

The month of March had started to melt away the snow from the ground, revealing a fresh patch of green grass under the layer of white. And with Summer approaching, the sun was her enemy.

During the colder months, Dorran was always shirtless now when the atmosphere was a lot hotter, he opted to wear his skinny shorts, and sometimes, he would eighty-six the shorts and only wear boxers.

This time, Selena was surprised why he was late. It wasn’t like him, especially when it was already an hour past noon and he was nowhere to be seen the whole morning.

She wasn’t worried, in fact, she hoped he was bitten by a snake. That would certainly reduce his ego meter by a mile.

If only he would refrain from showcasing his noodle bulge in the front of his face then she would consider respecting him. No amount of sexual allure could pull her in, not when it was coming from Dorran.

Selena waited for half an hour before deciding to go home and rest. As she was about to stand, a wolf with black fur stalked towards her. Its paws were big, ginormous even. As it threaded towards her, she saw a pair of boxers hanging off his mouth. Immediately, the sudden jolt of fear she caught before turned to dust.

Despite how threatening the wolf looked, she knew who it was.

She watched the wolf shed its skin slowly as it turned from wolf to human. In a matter of minutes, she was looking at Dorran’s completely naked person.

“Hey,” he greets.

She kissed her teeth in disappointment.

“Please kindly remove your manhood in front of me.”

As the crass man he was, Dorran smirked as he put on his boxers all the while watching her intently. She groans.

“Where have you been?” She asked. “You weren’t in the tent or the training ground.”

“Ah, you were worried about me, it seems?” He quipped.

“Worried?” she scoffed. “I had hoped you had already fallen from a ridge.”

His boyish laugh irritated her. He had never once taken her seriously. Her threats were as meaningless as his attempts to woo her.

“Calm down, my Luna. This might be surprising but I do have a life outside of you.” He answered.

Disdainfully, she rolled her eyes. His tactlessness and more than friendly attitude were all easy reasons why she disliked him. Though she admitted that his foolish grin would always calm her a little bit after a rough day of training.

“Are we still going to continue today’s training or did you have someplace else to go?”

“No actually. I wanted to say that I’m going back to pack Albrich. Alpha Joseph called me in and Beta Tobias will replace me while they finish up the course.”

She grimaced. She was expecting this already. Most of the wolves' training has already shown remarkable results and the wolves from pack Albrich were going home. Still, she didn’t expect to be this disappointed. She wasn’t sure if her training was close to being concluded, maybe that’s why she felt bad.

“Well, I can’t say I didn’t expect it to happen. So I assume this is you saying goodbye?”

Dorran nods.

“Yes,” he says. “Honestly, I’m disappointed that you’re not as sad as I am.”

“I disagree. I’m sad that we’re not going to be able to finish our training.”

“So you’re not sad that you’re not going to see me anymore?” He raised a brow.

“Nope.” She grinned.

“Well, that’s kinda mean. I thought we had a connection. I knock you down and you stand up and scream at my face.”

She scoffed, trying her best to not smile.

“That connection you’re saying is just student-teacher dynamics. And who wouldn’t be upset when you tackle down someone?” She narrowed her gaze at him.

“Shame, I thought there was something more.” He sounded disappointed though his quick flip of expression from dismay to wearing a grin made her believe he was just acting.

“Nah, there’s nothing more. Unless the ‘more’ you’re looking is a kick in the arse, then I’m fine with that.” She says.

With training, she became more confident with her stances and she didn’t shy away from trying to combat him though she was still yet to succeed in winning.

“Oh? You’re itching for a fight, aren’t you?” His daunting grin filled with mischief greeted her.

“I’ve been bored to death this whole morning.”

She answered.

“Well then, what’s the rules?” He winds his arm, clearly trying to intimidate.

“Rules are the same as always. You can’t shift to your wolf and the first person to knock someone down on their back and force them to admit defeat is the winner.”

“Alright then,” he walks towards her. His imposing manner always made her nervous but now she found it humorous how he tried to intimidate her and how he woefully failed to do so. “Since it’s our last time going against each other, I believe a prize is in order.”

Selena pursed her lip. She shouldn’t be surprised anymore. The last time he pulled this kind of stunt, she slapped him and made his nose bled. But that was months ago when she barely knew how to fight. It was different now and she couldn’t wait any longer to prove to him that she had come a long way.

“I agree. What are the stakes?”

Dorran grinned.

“If you win, you get to do anything to my body and if I win, I get to do the same.”

His dark and unrelenting blue eyes devour Selena. This man knew what he was doing and he wasn’t playing around with her. Though it has already been a long time since she and Dorran spent time alone together and he never tried to touch her except when he took his payment and kissed the side of her lips.

“But no extremes, right?” She asks.

“Of course, I won’t do that to you. I promise.” He answered.

Selena nodded.

“I trust you.” She says.

He smirked, his trained gaze pinned to her eyes. She took a step back, knowing he was going to go and strike her anytime. She learned that running wasn’t something to be ashamed of. Dorran taught her that. Running didn’t necessarily mean cowering away, it also meant repositioning yourself to find someplace more advantageous.

She turned her feels and bolted deeper into the woods. Her nimble feet trudged through the bushes and roots with a surefooted step as she ran, keeping her focus on finding a spot where Dorran could hide and attack her.

Thankfully just as a precaution, Selena mapped out the layout of her trail, memorizing the steps she took to ensure a victory.

“My Luna, here I come.” Dorran bellowed from afar, his voice barely audible.

She didn’t answer at risk of giving out her position. Though that wasn’t the only thing she needed to be worried about. Dorran easily had the upper hand with his wolf in contrast to her absent one.

Her eyes catch mint stalks on her side. Another thing she learned from Dorran was picking the right things to hide your scent with. After the rain, mud was the best choice but on a very sunny day like this, all kinds of plants were suitable but those that emit strong smells were the best.

“You know, when I taught you how to conceal yourself, I did not expect you to learn this quickly.”

Dorran was quickly getting closer as he crept across the plant leaves scattered on the ground.

She reached for the plant and took it apart, slowly rubbing the leaves against her arms, legs, and even her cheeks.

“Is that…mint? Predictable as always, my Luna. Try harder.” He taunts.

She wasn’t as scared as she was before. His fruitless attempts to rile her up fell on deaf ears as she moved slowly, maneuvering over tree after tree. She felt his steps getting nearer and nearer until it stopped right behind the tree she was using to conceal herself.

She peeked around the bark, spotting Dorran, crouched down on the ground, his fingers inspecting the surrounding area for any signs he could use to track her.

“You know, all I need to do is find the walking mint plant.”

Selena held the urge to laugh as he continued to walk further down the path that leads to a shallow river. She planted the palm of her hand on the ground and grabbed a fistful of dirt.

With nothing holding her back, she charges at him. Dorran was left with little time to react. He turns to face her, only to get his face pelted by dirt from Selena’s hand. He struggled on his feet as he gathered his arms and shielded his torso. She struck his side with her feet, causing him to grunt from the fatal blow. But with a flick, his arms took hold of her leg. Dorran pulled her and threw her to the ground.

Selena staggered to get up while Dorran wiped the remains of the dirt in his eyes.

“Dirt, my Luna? You play very dirty.” He groans.

She smirked.

“Use every tool necessary to bag the victory. That is what you said to me, no?”

“So am I suffering the consequences of my actions?” He asks once after he was done collecting himself.

“Precisely.” She answers and starts running again.

It would probably take him a few more seconds to get a grip and if she wouldn’t start running now, then she was already doomed to lose.

Selena grimaced from the pain in her back. She landed on a stone after Dorran threw her. She brushed it off, knowing it was just another easy-heal injury.

Her heart palpitated as she looked over her shoulder. He was no longer there. He was always quick on feet, that she knew. Out of nowhere, Dorran appeared and jumped on Selena’s back. She fell on her stomach, exerting force on her arms to quickly push herself up.

It was a miracle that was able to do so. She pulled herself up and faced up.

“Didn’t anyone tell you it’s bad manners to attack unsuspecting ladies?” She paced her breathing.

“Unsuspecting? A lady and a Luna of all ladies, who throws a fistful of dirt at someone’s face is not unsuspecting.” He countered.

Dorran was wearing that smile again. He wore that whenever he was successful at making her secede. She faltered but wasn’t deterred. She was still able to fight and she wasn’t going to give up that easily.

Selena threw the first punch. Dorran dodges, ducking as his hand shot up to grab her arm. His grip was strong, constricting Selena’s movement. She used her hand to strike the pit of his elbow.

His hold loosened giving Selena a small window of time to push him away.

She continued threading feet towards the river while Dorran was releasing a string of bothered cusses.

“Come on, slowpoke.” She taunts.

Selena shook, the sound of thumping paws briskly hitting the ground entered her ears. The man shifted to his wolf, just as she wanted him to. With Dorran taking his wolf out, he was a bigger target and was easier to take down.

He might be composed or at least pretend to be but she had seen him many times before blow a sliver of his fuse whenever she pushed him closer to the edge.

There, Dorran’s wolf stalks her. Its speed greatly overwhelming hers.

‘Just a little bit more.’ She says to herself.

Selena stared at the line of leaves she marked beforehand and jumped over it. Dorran stepped over it, releasing a trap. A thin rope strong enough to hold someone in place coiled around Dorran’s hind leg. His body lost its balance, causing him to crash his muzzle first.

He sheds his wolf skin, angrily slamming his first on the dirt.

“Clever.” He admits.

Though the fight was not yet over. He was still not on his back and Selena surmised he was not going to give up any sooner.

With one powerful tug of Dorran’s hand, the rope snapped. Selena took a few cautious steps back, trying to predict his next action. He stepped to the right, causing Selena to recoil and move in the opposite direction. It was at that moment she realized she fucked up. Dorran feigned a punch only to grab her by her shoulders. Their bodies fall from a small hill, tumbling on each other as they fought to be on top.

At the foot of the hill, the river’s running water was interrupted as Selena’s back hit the water. Dorran sat on her stomach, grinning widely.

“I win.” He chirped.

“No.” Selena groaned.

She gathered all her remaining energy. It was a last-ditch effort. She breathed, placing her hands on his chest and shoving his body in the shallow water. She rode him, retrieving her blade from her pocket. She pressed the hilt of the blade against his throat.

“You celebrate too early, Beta Doyle. When are you at your weakest, that is when you are the strongest.”

Selena looked down at his surprised expression. He looked confused. His astonishment stemming from his defeat.

“Another one of my teaching?” He asked.

She nods.

“Because if your enemies see your eventual defeat, they lose focus and let their guards down. Then, you collect everything you’ve got to turn the table around.”

The months-long of training wasn’t just a waste. She wasn’t ashamed to admit that she loved training with Dorran. But to be honest, she liked it the most when she used his words against him.

Dorran released a proud and free smile. She didn’t understand, but his look of approval made her feel happy for herself.

“Two months, my Luna.” He raised himself, using his arm to prop his body up while his other hand held her thigh as he placed her on his side.

“Two months what?” She asked.

“I never thought you would catch up so quickly. I’m very happy for you.”

Selena felt giddy all of a sudden. Dorran was the first one to have said that in such a long time. Though to be honest, she didn’t have that many achievements worthy of praise. This time, she felt exhilarated.

At least she would be able to fight and protect herself. And her quest to avenging her parent’s death wasn’t that far off ahead.

“I can’t lie. Even though you’re somewhat, kinda untrustworthy, you’re a good teacher.” She confessed, staring at the flowing water.

“Untrustworthy, huh?” He chuckles.

“I’m sorry, I was told to not fully trust wolves who hide their scents. But, I guess you’re an exception.”

The color of his blue orbs shined as happiness flew across them.

“Yes, I guess so.” Dorran shrugged. “Well then, do as you wish. That’s your prize for winning.”

She looked at him. That was one fatal flaw of the deal. She didn’t want to do anything to him. All that she wanted was to prove herself and to him that she wasn’t just a sitting duck on a battlefield and she was satisfied with the outcome.

“Though, you did cheat. You put on that trap and you drew your blade.” He says.

She grimaced.

“You shifted first.” She argued.

“But you created the snare beforehand therefore it was premeditated which means you cheated first.”

“I wouldn’t have to lead you there if you didn’t shift.”

Dorran chuckled. His laugh infecting her, causing her to grin.

“You were wise to do so. In the heat of the moment, rules don’t apply.” He says.

His eyes look away, drawing Selena in with curiosity. She wondered what was going on around his mind. His sudden silence unnerved her.

She appreciated that he didn’t ask that many questions and she returned the favor by not digging on the necklace he was wearing. Under his enigmatic behavior, Selena wanted to believe that she only misunderstood him.

Maybe he was running away from something?

She chastised herself. She knew she was naive and was only making excuses for him. But it was hard to see someone in a lighter shade when they were purposely staying behind the shadows.

Nevertheless, she still wanted to get to know a piece of him before he left.

“What would you do if you won?”

Swiftly, he eyes her. He was a deer caught in the headlights. But then, his surprised mask turns into a confident grin as he cupped her cheeks, his wet hands touched her skin while she marveled at the dark desire hidden under his gaze.

She shuddered as he placed a small, gentle kiss on her lip.

“That.” He says. “The last time I kissed you, you punched me and it’s okay if you do it again.”

Selena didn’t feel the same rush of anger as she felt before and it terrified her.

She wasn’t falling head over heels over him or anything, that she knew. But why couldn’t she find an explanation for the way her heart race when his lips touched hers?

“I should go.”

She stood, only for Dorran to pull her down.

“Selena…” He whispers.

“That was my first kiss, Beta Doyle.” She blurted out.

Her cheeks become flushed as he sighed.

“I’m sorry.” He says. “I didn’t know.”

She pulled her arm away from him, groaning loudly. She was confused and shaken, afraid to confront the feelings inside of her.

“It was just a kiss. Nothing big.” She dismissed it.

The spark of guilt and pain grew by the second. She felt her wolf retreat even further down her depths. The deluge of the new sensations trapped her. Its as if a deathly blight had spread in every inch of her body.

Her feet step out of the water and threaded through the path. The sound of water moving made her heart jump as Dorran’s footsteps neared her.

She wanted a reason why she felt like this. Why she was being torn apart after one kiss.

“Selena, let me explain.” He touches her shoulder.

“I’m just being stupid. Don’t mind it.”

Dorran’s hand traveled down her arm. He pulls her to him. She averted her gaze to somewhere else, too panicked to even take a glimpse of what was in front of her.

“You’re a virgin, I know. And if I’m right again, you are one of those people whose firsts are important.”

She scowled.

“No. You’re wrong.”

He frowns. Though his sad expression was soft, filled with guilt and sorrow.

“Then why are you feeling so flustered, my Luna?”

“Stop calling me that. I’m not your Luna. I’m tired, there’s no other explanation.”

He rested his hand on her cheek, only for her to swipe him away.

“I’m a man with very loose morals, Selena. I’m used to always get I want but with you, it’s all just a waiting game. You’re the first one ever to make me want to work for them but it was my fault for chasing a wolf nursing her rejection.”

Selena gulped noisily.

“I made it clear that I wasn’t into that.”

He flattens his lips.

“I think you were worth the wait and still is.” He spoke, his deep voice rumbling on her spine. “I like you a lot Selena and I can offer you release, not bodily pleasure or anything close to that matter.”

Dorran instilled fear and awe within her. That deadly allure brought by his domineering presence was a poisonous gas and the longer she was near him, the more she was being intoxicated.

His nearness was daunting and to add more, he was naked. His boxers were ripped apart after he shifted, leaving him to stay in his birthday suit.

Her heart pounded. The sirens that blared loudly accompanied by red flashing flags appeared in her mind. They all pointed to how dangerous it is to have him this close.

“Let me make you forget him, Selena. I can give you what he failed to do so.” His arm held her back. He takes her closer. “You were born to be a Luna, Selena. You deserve special, undivided attention. I know the pain you’ve gone through but I can take it all away and instead, make you feel safe and wanted.”

Selena’s throat became a desert. How was he able to disarm her this quickly?

Her failure to get a hold of the reins of her emotions sucked ass.

“I chose to leave him.” She says. “And I don’t need to be pampered…That’s not what I need right now.”

“All the better reason to forget that man. Nathaniel Morris is nothing but a weak, indecisive wolf who has lost the most precious person in the world. So let me, Selena. Let me make it all better for you.”

She became petrified, trapped by his grasp as he leaned closer to her. Thankfully, she willed herself. Gathering a feeble amount of energy to free herself from his grasp.

“Offer your words to someone who wants it, Dorran. Someone like your mate.”

Too afraid to suffocate any further, she leaves him, unsure of the different things going on in her mind. But the further she walked away from him, the more she understood and became bewildered.

She wasn’t upset as much as she wanted to be for Dorran’s actions. The thing that boggled her was the guilt that rose from her chest. Why did kissing him felt as if she was betraying Nathaniel?

For a long time, she managed to forget about him. But now that she lost one of her firsts to someone who hasn’t her mate, it all brought back her ambitions and wishes when she was still a little girl. To everything that she was for the man given to her by the moon.

After so much hard work, distracting herself from thinking of him she was still stuck in the loop and she feared getting out of it wasn’t going to be easier.


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