I was depressed.
I haven’t gotten out of my bed for two days now. Going to sleep knowing that no man is attracted to me and that I am unlovable is now calming to me.
I was ashamed, all my friends were in a happy relationship.
I was happy for all of them but I hated how jealous I was. I just found out that Elizabeth and Victoria were pregnant, there is something going on with Danika and Jake, lastly Landon was also invested in a girl.
And what am I doing you ask?
I am sitting in front of the television every night with a bottle of wine and scrolling through happy engagement pictures of Hank Simmons.
I lied to everyone, my family, friends and coworkers. I told them I am going on a trip to the Bahamas but what was I actually going to do? Sit in my bed, crying and making weird ass noises to express the pain I can’t put into words.
I think even my cat is worried about me now.
Hank Simmons was the typical guy next door, he was my boss and I was blinded with so many love stories around me that I thought I would too fall in love with my beautiful boss and have beautiful babies.
We talked all the fucking time, I would stay late in the office to complete some work but we would just end up talking for hours. Nothing happened between us in those past eight months physically but I felt like he liked me too.
So I fell hard. I was in love with this man.
But no, here I am, going through his Instagram looking at that gorgeous redhead in a green bikini, hugging him as he looked at her with so much love in his eyes.
I hated being so salty, I felt like reporting all of his pictures. I am sick and tired of being that friend who is a constant cheerleader and always happy.
Because I am not happy.
Elizabeth hated Hank. She keeps insisting that Hank led me on and then, just ghosted me and how I was too blind to see something like that. I honestly think I misunderstood his actions, maybe he is just a person who touches people a lot or looks them in their eyes when he talks.
But Elizabeth doesn’t like him at all and I didn’t argue with her because she is crazy. I mean I love her but she is crazy and high on baby hormones.
Finally I was alone with my thoughts, which is actually not a good thing, now that I think of it.
Nathan once said that Elizabeth is the kind of girl you simply can’t forget, you can try but you can never forget what her love felt like.
I guess I am not that girl. I can’t ever imagine being that girl a guy would go an extra mile for, the girl that he just can’t get out of his head no matter how hard he tries. The type of girl you fall in love with at first sight.
I was the kind of girl that would grow on you over time and you would be like 'Okay, maybe she is not that bad’.
I was the kind of girl a guy would text when he’s bored.
Elizabeth kept telling me that if a person doesn’t like me at my worst, that person doesn’t deserve me at my best.
So I told her that first of all, if they can’t handle me at what they have presumed is my worst, then they have no idea how worse I can get. I have no limit, so I don’t blame them.
As I was laying in my bed, I wished I would just enter a different world or dimension where all the thoughts and things that hurt me right now would mean literally nothing. I smelled my hair and it stanched.
Okay I need to take a long shower, wash my hair, make my bed and then go to sleep again. I was also hungry.
I quickly ordered some food before jumping into the shower, knowing that by the time I get out, my food would be here.
I felt myself smile for the first time in weeks at the prospect of noodles and chicken.
As I was almost getting out of the shower, my bell rang. I panicked before realizing that it might be the food delivery guy.
As I pulled a pair of baggy sweatpants out of the closet and an extra-large t-shirt over my head, the bell rang twice
“A minute!” I shouted as I hopped and skipped towards the door while pulling on my pants, when the doorbell started to ring continuously.
OH MY GOD.
Is there a fire in my building?
Where is my cat, Sugar?
I quickly tied my head in a messy bun, the ugly one, not the one that talented women pull off so effortlessly, as I opened the door.
“Okay, why are you ringing the bell so-” My words stopped as my eyes came in contact with someone’s broad chest.
Okay wait what?
I looked up to see a guy who could make the devil sweat with his captivating god like face. My mouth fell open as I just stared at his face, he didn’t look like a good guy, he had a few cuts on his face and a permanent scar near his forehead.
He had a look of those handsome villains women end up falling for instead of the lead actor. Before I could comprehend anything, he just entered my house and closed the door behind me.
The only explanation for a man this handsome walking into my apartment willingly is that he is a psychopath as I laughed internally.
Wait psychopath you say, Emily?
Yes, I said psychopath.
My eyes widened and his hands instinctively covered my mouth as he realized I was about to scream.
I tried to fight him off but I think those were like baby punches for him. He just looked at me deep in my eyes as he put a finger on his mouth, almost requesting me not to shout.
I looked at him and his eyes were pitch black, he had an unsettlingly symmetrical face as he stood taller to me and possibly taller to my door frame.
I took in his clothing and they looked like military tracks and shoes with a forest green t-shirt. They weren’t excessively tight but I could still see his muscles prominently.
Maybe he is a military guy who has been wronged even though he is a patriot and loves his country to death.
What if he is from a rival nation?
Okay I need to stop binge watching on Netflix because this is getting out of hand.
I looked up at him, his eyes were on the door but his hand didn’t loosen around my mouth even for a second.
I started struggling again when I heard a few shots being fired, making me freeze in my place.
No, I want my old life back, I can live with a heartbreak. I don’t want to get involved in a murder then have no choice but to join a crime family and then avenge my brother’s death.
Emily, can you please stop reading mafia romances? Also, you don’t have a brother.
My brain coaxed me and I snapped out of my thoughts to see that man looking at me, and taking in my appearance.
I suddenly became very conscious when I realized I was wearing the worst clothes I could possibly find to meet an attractive hero or assassin?
I realized I was breathing excessively as my eyes didn’t leave his. I was feeling an unexpected immobilizing intensity in my stomach.
He walked right in my living room and started going through my stuff. He was reading all the documents that were kept on my table.
What the fuck?
“Okay you need to explain yourself- stop going through my stuff.” I whined as I snatched my leave notice from his hand.
“I need to stay here for a few days.” He says in monotonous voice as he goes around my house, looking for something.
“You need to get out.” I say, but my voice sounded weak. I knew for a fact that I couldn’t defend myself if this man attacked me.
“No, I can’t. Where is Rick?” He asked me as grabbed a bottle of water from the counter and gulped it down.
“Rick? You mean the shady guy who lived here before me? He moved out and you need to leave before I call the police. I know a lot of important people, you have no idea.” I say in a tough voice which I don’t think sounded intimidating at all, coming from a 5’2 girl, dressed in a hello kitty t-shirt.
“But all of them think that you are in Bahamas with your ‘partner’.” He mocked me with quotations as if he knew I didn’t have boyfriend.
“I have a boyfriend okay! And he will come here if you don’t leave this minute.” I told him but he just replied by looking around my apartment with an intriguing smug smile on his face, making me wanting to know more about this man. I could tell by the smile on his face that he wasn’t a very ‘smiley person’
It was obvious from the look of my place that I was alone and going through a rough patch, possibly a break up. Tissues, empty food containers and big bottles of sodas were lying all around the room.
This is just embarrassing.
“I wasn’t expecting company.” I defended myself to this unbelievably sexy intruder.
I gulped as I saw his arms were covered in tattoos. By now I’ve read enough bad boy romances to know how to identify one.
“Okay sweetheart, listen. I am not going to hurt you, I just need a few days to hide after that I would be out of your way. You won’t get into any sort of trouble.” He said with a small innocent smile on his face as he cupped my cheeks and looked at me in the eyes. My heart started to beat loudly as a man finally showed some affections towards me in years.
Yes, it is sad.
My heart melted as I realized how charming and completely hypnotizing that smile was.
“I am going to leave soon, I won’t hurt you at all. I just need a hideout for a few days.” He explained again and I don’t listen fully as I was still mesmerized with this man’s looks and heavenly voice.
Emily, the hot devil is tricking you! My mind screamed.
“Wait no! Are you a fugitive? I am calling the police.” I whisper shouted and he just looked at me with pursed lips before looking around again.
“I didn’t want to do this.” He says before going through my drawers, probably trying to find a rope but to my utter embarrassment he finds handcuffs.
He made me sit down on a chair and I didn’t protest, I didn’t understand the point knowing well that he was going to overpower me in every way.
I think the only reason I am not freaking out is because I think I am dreaming. Is this what the movie inception was about?
“I have to say, didn’t really peg you for a girl who would be into BDSM.” He says as he handcuffs my hands behind the chair.
I felt his warm breath near my neck making goosebumps appear all over my body as I took in the raw alpha male scent. I didn’t want him to know that he had an effect on me but for the life of me I couldn’t remember how normal people breathe.
I felt my face heat up at his comment, the most embarrassing part was that I didn’t buy those handcuffs for BDSM, I was dressed as superman from the ‘Man of Steel’ for Halloween.
I think I am starting to understand why I am single.
“Have you ever murdered anyone?” I asked as he squatted down in front of me. I tried breathing normally but our proximity wasn’t helping.
“Yeah but if it makes you feel better, it wasn’t illegal.” He said with a charming smile on his face, making my eyes widen.
“No, how is that supposed to make me feel better? No, it doesn’t make me feel better.” I almost yelled while childishly stomping my feet, making him cover my mouth with his hands again.
As I struggled to speak, we hear a knock on my door.
Ha food comes to my rescue again.
Suck on that..super-hot legal murderer.