I woke up this morning to find Kyle had left early to try and get work done early. At least that's what I think he said since I was half asleep. Its been a week since we found out how far along I am, and I just lay on my back staring at the ceiling contemplating what to do next. I know Kyle says he is ok with the pregnancy and will claim it, but what kind of life will it have? It will never be truly his or have any claim. It will be a permanent reminder of what happened in my past. Here he is talking about raising a pup that will be the "first born" but not his. He could play it off and claim it, but once it was passed up for the next in line everyone would know then.
The stares and ridicule both the child and I would then endure after it's known could be torture. How would I be looked at? Here I am the future queen but yet have a bastard pup who's father was the evil Alpha Kane. Goddess what if it came out beforehand while he is in school. The bullying that could happen because of who his father is. Maybe it would just be better for everyone to end it before it really begins. At this point I am not showing yet, so it could be done discreetly.
I mind link the doctor and quickly get dressed before he comes. I wait a few minutes when the doctor comes in smiling and I gesture to have a seat next to me in front of the window.
"How can I help you today Eurydice?"
"What would the consequences be if I were to end this pregnancy? I can't do this, and really don't want to."
I see him sit back stunned at my question, and trying to figure out what to say in return.
"Eurydice, I know this was a shock. Look I will tell you what I can do. I can give a pill that will end it, but you will have to promise me you will take the next few days to think about it. It's ultimately your decision, but please take some time and choose wisely."
He gets into his bag that he brought digging around and soon hands me the pill hesitantly. I walk over to the dresser and quickly open it hiding the pill in the clothes. I close it while taking a deep breath knowing that it is hidden so no one will know it's there but me. I walk back over sitting down and let out a deep sigh. I hate even the thought of doing this, but I can't allow myself to have that bastards kid.
"I promise to think about this before I resort to the pill. I just need time to decide on what I want to do."
He nods and walks out as I sit and stare at the closed door. Thoughts start pouring in on what life would be like if I did and what if I didn't. As much as I want to be pregnant, I want it to be by Kyle's and not Kan's. I hear a growl rip through the air and I quickly whip my head to stare out the window when I see someone down below staring straight up at me. I didn't think anyone was outside but when I hear the pounding of footsteps up the stairs I know that he saw and heard what happened.
I quickly jump up running for the dresser drawer as our bedroom door flies off the hinges and Kyle comes barreling in. I scramble throwing clothes around to try and find the pill when I am quickly picked up and pulled away screaming.
"Stop Kyle! I can't do this! I don't want this pup! Just let me end it!"
I feel myself lowered down as his parents come running in trying to figure out what is going on.
"Mom stand with her!"
Tara comes over to me wrapping her arms around me and just has that look on her face.
"What did you do Eurydice?"
I just hang me head sobbing covering my face, when I hear Kyle walk over and rip the dresser drawer out dumping all the clothes looking through everything. He slowly scans every piece of clothing and before long the pill falls out of a shirt onto the floor. He slowly reaches down picking up the pill when both him and his dad look at me.
"What is this Eurydice? What is the pill for?"
I uncover my face shaking my head no. I can't tell him what I was going to do. He will be furious with me, but I can't do this! I just stare as tears fall when he storms over leaning over to look me in the eye.
"Eurydice, what was the pill for?"
"I can't do this Kyle! I wanted to end the pregnancy." I whispered
I watch as he stands back up slowly stepping away, and just stares in disbelief. He looks down at the tiny pill in his hand, and I see tears slowly fall down his cheeks. His parents take their leave exiting the room leaving us alone to talk this out.
"You want to end the pups life why? I know it's ultimately your choice, but I said I would claim it"
"What happens when you go to pass the title on and they get passed up? Everyone will know then that they aren't yours! Plus I will have a reminder of my hell!"
"I understand the reminder, but you think that they would get passed up? Why would we do that? If I claim them then they are first regardless."
"I just can't Kyle! Don't you get it!"
"Fine! Here's the stupid pill! That IS my pup in your belly blood or not! I hope you can live with yourself for killing it! When I say I would claim it, it will be mine! Blood or not as Future King what I say goes! So if I say it's mine it's fucking mine!"
With that he growled and stormed out of the room leaving me just to stare down at the pill. I can hear stuff being thrown around and chaos going through the palace with Kyle on a rampage. I quickly walk into the bathroom finding a cup to get some water. I stare for a few minutes flinching when I hear something break somewhere in the palace. I wouldn't have thought he would have reacted like this about a pup that isn't his. I know he would treat it as if it was his but in my mind I will always know.
I stare down at my hand and what will be the future of us. When I bring the pill to my mouth and look in the mirror. I just stop and stare back at myself, and wonder what has gotten into me. When did my life get to the point that I am here in our bathroom about to end a pregnancy?
I stare down at my belly in the mirror and just can't do it! I take a sip of water and slam the glass down shattering it and cutting my hand. I look as the blood starts to drip on top of the counter, and mind link the doctor that I cut myself. I grab a towel and wrap my hand up when I hear feet pounding down the hall. The doctor runs through the open doorway and has Kyle right on his heels. The doctor motions for me sit to dress my wound when I see Kyle staring at me with his arms crossed.
I just stare because I don't know what to do or say. Yes it is her decision, but never would I have treated that pup any different. What I would do for that pup is beyond imaginable. If it were a boy I would have him ride around on my shoulder as we toured the lands and watched the guards train on the training fields. He would be my little sidekick, and would have him hang with me all day every day. Now if it were a girl, goddess help anyone that remotely looked her way! I'd train her just like a son to protect herself, as she would be the next King after me. She would be running around with me every minute that we could. Girl or boy I wouldn't care! I would treat them the same way.
I feel a tear slip as I hear the doctor ask how she cut it. She had a glass of water that broke no doubt after she took that fucking pill. I can feel the tear slide down my face as now I will never know what could of been. What the pup would of looked like, or who it would have taken after. I decide to go clean up the bathroom to get my mind off of the current situation, and get away.
When I enter the bathroom I see glass on the floor and counter with the blood. I first clean up the floor so no one will step in the glass and quickly dispose of the shards into the trash can. When I turn my attention to the counter I start picking up the glass when something catches my eye in the sink. I quickly turn back cleaning up the counter and throwing everything away when I look back at the sink placing my hands on the edge of the counter. I just stare as the minutes tick by when I hear the doctor leave out of the room.
I hear her little footsteps move until she is right behind me no doubt waiting for me to say something. I slowly reach in the sink picking the item up and turning towards her wide eyed. I just stare at her when she gives me the tiniest smile.
"I couldn't do it Kyle, I couldn't go through with it."