I let the warm water spray against my skin as the salty tears washed down the drain. The adrenalin had left my body, the shock and fear staying in its place. I had never felt this feeling before. My brain and body had always been aware of its emotions. In that moment I had never been so disconnected. It was like my mind shut down all fear and pushed out the anger, the will to survive and now that it was like every other emotion that I should have been feeling in that moment came rushing in.
I felt hands come to my hips. I jumped, startled, a small scream pushed past my lips. I spun, ready to defend myself. The hands left my hips and captured my swinging fists.
“Shh, it’s me.” Kaine’s voice broke through my fog.
I let out a sigh, looking up at him. He was watching me, worry and stress covered his features. His honey brown eyes were watching me, waiting for me to say something.
“Sorry.” I whispered. He gave me a half smile as I stepped into him. His arms wrapped around my body. He was so close, yet I felt so far away.
“Don’t hold it in.” His lips pressed to the top of my head. I felt him reach, twisting the knob on the shower to change the flow of water out of the rain shower above us.
I tucked my head into the bottom of his neck, placing a soft kiss. I was being the most vulnerable with him that I had ever been since he had come back. The fear of never seeing him again, or any of my family again caused my heart to ache.
“I’ve never felt so defenseless.” I said. “I tried to think of a way out when he cornered me, but there wasn’t. I panicked.”
“When Greg called me to tell me what happened, I felt like the world was collapsing around me.” He started, his voice just a whisper. “I had just spent five years wasting our time, I was finally with you and the thought -” He broke off, pulling me tighter against his chest.
This was the most honest, most vulnerable the both of us had ever been together. The fact that it took being abducted to make me realize how much I needed him, how much my tiger needed him, was depressing. I had spent so much time being angry, distant, hesitant that now it all felt as if it were for nothing, yet everything all at the same time.
My mind and body was shook up, my thoughts moving in different directions at a thousand miles a second. But if anything felt right at that moment it was being with Kaine, wrapped in his arms, naked under the warm water.
“I don’t want to keep wasting time.” I said.
He pulled back from me and looked me in the eyes. “Tonight let’s waste more time. We can talk about us in the morning.” He understood what I was saying.
My heart twisted. Is he not ready?
I looked down, embarrassment caused my cheeks to flush.
“Hey,” His hand came to the bottom of my chin. He pressed his lips against mine, hungrily taking my mouth. My hands clutched his shoulders, my fingernails digging into his skin. I melted into him, my thoughts completely ending and my body just feeling.
He pulled away. “There’s nothing more I want to do than to pin you against that wall and fuck you, but we both know that it’s not a good time for that. We need sleep, you need to heal and a serious conversation needs to take place. No more rash decisions, I spent enough time doing that.”
My stomach twisted, butterflies danced at his words.
That’s my Kaine. I thought as he spoke such demanding, sexy words. I smiled at him.
“Okay,” I reached back and shut off the water. “Tomorrow, but for now, just take me to bed.” I reached for my towel.
I heard a low rumble roll off his chest. I turned back to look at him, he was watching me with a heated gaze.
“The next time you tell me that when you’re naked, I will take you to bed, but we won’t be sleeping.” He grabbed his towel and wrapped it around his waist. The obvious tent that was created against the towel told me all I needed to know.
I winked at him before I skipped out of the bathroom, trying for just one moment to feel like myself tonight.