Been A Weird Time
I stood outside the house for a good fifteen minutes before I worked up the courage to go in. I mean, I knew he wasn’t in there, but it still felt like he was. It still smelt like him. His presence lingered like a nightmare in the dark. The air felt thick and heavy and I cried.
I couldn’t help it.
It wasn’t sad tears, I certainly didn’t miss him, but I don’t know. Maybe from relief, getting another bit of him out of my system. I also opened all the doors and windows I could find to start airing the place out.
My room looked ransacked. I don’t know what he was after but there wasn’t anything to find so I guess he found nothing.
Then I went to his room, which, took another few minutes with me just standing at the door. I had never really gone in there. It had always been his room. I hated how much he still affected me, even though he was gone. Even though I’d been the one who killed him. I was still afraid.
I crept in wincing at the creek of the door and forced myself to open the curtains and windows in there too. It was my house now, and I wanted him out of it, all of it. I was a bit shocked to discover how little he had. The clothes I was used to seeing him in. An unmade bed in the middle of the room. A single medium sized mirror. That was all.
I’m not sure what I was expecting to find, but this wasn’t it. I threw his clothes and sheets and blanket all into a bag, took it into the back yard and threw it into our fire pit. Then poured gas on it and set it all alight. It smelt awful, like burning plastic and hate.
The fire was nice though, it reminded me of my uncle, and weirdly of Limbo. Being stressed out and afraid there, wasn’t like how it felt here. It was almost safer and wilder at the same time, and for just an instant, as I stared into the flame, I missed it.
Then my phone buzzed and vibrated and I came back to the world.
- Hey, I’m going to spend the night with Jessica, and you sure it’s ok if I tell her about you?
- Of course. If you trust her, tell her.
- I love you.
Simple words but they cut through the fear of my dad’s house and helped me focus, and, as I continued to stared at my phone, I realised that it was Thursday!
I stared at my phone waiting for a reply when Jessica clinked two glasses together and said.
“So, what’s all this stuff you have to tell me.”
Which, like, am I just destined to be surrounded by moment killers. That said, unlike Belinda, I was so happy to see Jessica, in her pjs, a bottle of pink wine in her hand and a bit more of her usual look about her.
It made me think that, even though I was about to tell her some truly unbelievable stuff, that normal was possible again. That there was life after insanity. Plus I hated Belinda.
“First pour me a large glass while I put on some music and then assume the posish.”
I quickly flipped through her records and had to laugh when I spotted it. Waterdogs, perfect. I slumped down in my spot, and we clinked glasses.
And I think I drank half of it in one sip.
“Jesus girl, slow down. Or at least let me catch up.”
I ran over a few thinks quickly in my mind trying to find the right way to do it and while that was happening said.
“So, Bastian is a werewolf, and we’re like actual literal soul mates and apparently that means I’m a little immortal, or at least, we have to die at the same time.”
I then thought for another quick second and downed the rest of my glass.
She just stared at me for a long moment as her head slowly dropped to the side.
“That’s… kind of a lot.”
“I know right.”
She stared at me a little longer, as if she was waiting for the punchline, then her eyebrows went up, a lot of air went in and she made her wine disappear.
“Can we break that down a little, Bastian is a werewolf?”
“Like, a crazy person who is super into sci-fi fantasy stuff and likes to dress up and you have to pretend with him? Is this a weird sex thing?”
Which, was not an angle I’d considered she might go, but really should have.
“No, like actual full moon, transforms into a wolf, werewolf.”
She refilled our glasses and then took another big sip.
“And you’ve seen him do this.”
“Actually no. But I have seen enough to make me believe him.”
She nodded her head once.
“Ahuh…. Ok. And you’re soul mates?”
“Which means you’re immortal?”
“Yes. Well, sort of. As far as I can tell if you like, shot me or whatever, I’d go to Limbo but my body would get better and then I’d come back.”
She drank the rest of her wine and her face changed making her suddenly look a lot like her mom after a bad day at the hospital.
“Amber honey, look, I know this has been a weird time for you, it’s been hard on all of us but…”
I could see her looking for the right things to say, and it gave me my in.
“I know this sounds insane. Believe me, it is insane. But, like… It’s also true. And I don’t expect you to just believe me. But he said I could tell you the truth if I trusted you and, babe, there’s no one I trust more. So I wanted to tell you, and if you just trust me. I’ll prove it. Not right now, but I wanted to plant the seed so that it’s not so totally out of nowhere later.”
She put her hand on my knee and her look softened.
“Of course I trust you, and sure, ok, I don’t know that I believe it, but I believe you’re not crazy.’ Her eyes then shot to the side and I could see new thoughts blossoming. ’Although, it would explain why after you hit him with your car, he just slept it off then ran home.”
“Right! How weird was that. And apparently, he really did run. And he’s super strong.”
I could see even more new thoughts begin to form and a weird unsure giggle slipped out of her as she said.
“That would be so weird.”
I raised my glass and waited for her to do the same.
“Here’s to weird, because I’ve had a lot of that recently.”
Instantly she looked like herself.
“Which reminds me. Bitch, where have you been?”
“That’s… a little harder to explain.”