The latent power inside her was agitated, painfully so. It roused, yet something kept it at bay, some self preservation she couldn’t reason. Still it fought to arise.
The darkness inside her deepened, a hole cracking at the edges even as it sunk into the pits of her soul. She sobbed, her hand going to clutch at her heart as if that would revive it. The organ was now a dead weight constricting every nerve her body had.
Why wasn’t she dead?
She gasped a chocking sob and for a moment she took in the liquid form of sunlight. It was a scent she couldn’t explain, pure oxygen that went to her heart to revive its death. The power inside her rested as that sweet scent overwhelmed her.
Then just as sudden, it was gone and the void inside her felt even darker. “No.” She moaned. Emptiness filled her, an absence that took all her senses.
Nothing mattered. All she could fixate on was the memory of him turning away from her. Of that painful dismissal, as if she was nothing when she should be everything.
How had he found it so easy to dismiss her, why would he want to? Why did it matter? Nothing really mattered after all. The world was an abyss waiting to swallow her into oblivion, where she would exist without any senses except her awareness of self. And the reality of him turning away from him.
Why did his rejection matter so much? Sure she was not the kind of girl guys turned away, but nothing had ever hurt this much. None of the guys she’d ever dated had touched her as much as his glance had.
It had been like he’d reached into her core and claimed her, as if the essence of who she was had reached out to claim him. Then he’d found it so easy to walk away, to negate what had just happened.
Liv wanted to find that same strength, to reduce him to insignificance but somehow it wasn’t easy for her. So she curled into herself and let her emotions overwhelm her.
She could hear people talking to her, feel someone holding her. Hands soothed through her hair and all she wanted was for them to stop. They somehow weren’t the right hands and her skin itched in response to the touch.
Trying to move away from whoever was holding her was futile as the arms only tightened around her. Why couldn’t they leave her alone? Leave her to the death she was all too eager to embrace. Why hold her to a world that had lost its light and love?
People were not meant to live in darkness without love. So why bother continuing with living? It hurt too much, each breath like a laser spiralling down to her lungs. Her bones ached as if they were no longer settled in their place but fought to retain it. Her sight was gone, or maybe she had her eyes closed. Even her skin didn’t feel like it belonged to her and her hearing was too sharp for comfort. Yet she couldn’t reason any of what she heard.
Only her voice crying out unintelligible words intruded on her insanity, tried to bring her back from the hole that had swallowed her. Everything else was chaos that urged her to seek oblivion. To embrace its final rest.
She existed in her madness for an eternity, unable to move, to die as she wished. She had no will to end it, even as that was all she could think of. Why was the world so dark? So pointless? How could she not have seen it before, sensed it?
The sharp rhythm of her heart thudded on its mockery as she lay in the unwanted arms. Too tired to push them away as she wanted. The soothing voice of whomever held her grated on all that she was. It was wrong but she had no desire to voice her displeasure.
What did it matter what she wanted?
Impossibly deep inside her psyche a howling cry rattled out of the pit radiating from her core. It was too far away to care about, yet it haunted her infinite moments. Brought a lump to her throat. Would she ever be free of her agony? Their agony?
Then the sunlight came again. That intoxicating scent that allowed her to breathe once more. She could feel light thrusting through the darkness that her soul had become. Filling the hole centred within her.
The howling immediately stopped. An awareness she hadn’t realised was part of her taking note in a primal way that squeezed fear inside her now that she could reason. Was it the wolf part of her? Could she really be a Werewolf?
Her eyes fluttered open and her gaze zeroed in on grey-green laser eyes. Seen closer, they were much more than predatory. There was a focus in them that was adamant, purposeful. Anything this guy set his mind to would be accomplished as the will behind his blazed through his eyes.
He looked at her with aggressive possessiveness. A claim, she knew. He was dominant, patiently so, showing her his need of her without fear or shame. They were so close, she realised, so close all she had to do was lean forward a bit and their lips would touch.
Liv had no idea why that thought would come to her but once it did she couldn’t let it go. His full lips were the only soft part of his chiselled face and she found her gaze straying to them. Of its own will, her tongue moistened her lips and she saw his gaze drop to them before piercing hers with heat.
Her breath hitched at the fierce attraction she felt to him. The consuming need she had to claim him in some way. It was a push that strove to enslave her, to deny her any thought except for him.
She couldn’t give in, she just couldn’t. Her body tensed as she prepared to push away from him. To gain some equilibrium so she could think. An intense wave of panic rose up from somewhere deep inside. It swept all else from her until she was reduced to her primal state.
Instincts older than recorded time took over and she acted. It was pure desperation. Simple as that. Had she been rational, she might have questioned why she felt desperate. She might have had the strength to stop what happened.
The simple fact was, Liv hadn’t had any idea what she was capable of. No idea she had to have a stronger will than what Humans already claimed she had. Her canines sharpened and faster than the Human eye could track Olivia Wainwright moved the collar of his shirt and sank her teeth into him.
Pleasure, an exultant satisfaction thrilled its way down her spine. She shivered in ecstasy as she felt his pulse beat against her teeth. A need to shout her triumph flooded her, until a crack splintered through her mind.
It was tension she couldn’t fathom as her mind tried to reassert itself. Chagrin slapped her as the sentient power, now fully aware, realised what it had done. What she had done. Liv realised it was a wolf, her wolf. The one she’d just found out she should have and denied having even though she’d felt this power all her life.
Now she knew why it’d been latent all this time, why it should never have come out. A sob chocked her as her horrified gaze met his knowing ones. “I’m sorry.” She whispered. “So sorry.”
She was aware of the tears running down her cheeks but only vaguely so. All she could think of was how she’d just humiliated herself. Bound them irrevocably as she’d doomed them.
“Liv!” Her mother’s relief as she drew her away from her mate caused more tears to fall. “You’re okay.”
The hug her mum gave her left her feeling bereft, not because she hated it but because it wasn’t from him. Her eyes sought and found his, pleading. His eyes shifted to her mother before coming back to meet hers. The message in them was clear and Liv felt even more embarrassed for preferring a stranger to her mother.
As she gave in to the hug, she suddenly felt so tired, a heavy feeling settling her heart. Breath was even harder to drag in than before. Her skin was clammy, hot.
“Liv?” Her mother’s panicked voice floated in the fog that was taking over her mind. “What is wrong with her?” She demanded likely of her mate.
Why was the idea of a mate so fixated to her mind? Did Werewolves really have mates or was her knowledge of wattpad novels getting the best of her? It made sense in a way, this desperation she had to be close to him. Only now she just felt so tired, a low level of unlocalized pain thrumming through her.
“Olivia.” An authoritative voice demanded and she knew it was his. “Don’t close your eyes.”
The command burrowed into her mind, forced her to heed him. “Why?” She breathed out but already knew the answer. Her wolf’s presence was killing her. His jaw hardened, pain flashing in his eyes for a moment before he masked it. “How long do I have?” She asked when he didn’t answer.
“What?” Her friend Mandy demanded. “What do you mean ‘how long do I have?’ Have to what?”
Liv kept her heavy lidded eyes on his face. She knew it was childish, irrational, but a part if her feared saying it out loud would make it even more real. Yet the raw reality had already intruded. Shattering a life that just this morning had been full of promise. Would it have made a difference if she’d stayed in bed then?
“Olivia,” her father put in with his doctor voice, the one that demanded answers even though it was calm and quiet. He didn’t need to say more than her name.
“Shifting for the first time without being tied to an alpha means death.” She stated in the deathly silent room, her room. She should be embarrassed to have the guy she liked so much see her room when she hadn’t set it up to effect but other considerations took presidency. “And I just shifted.”