The choice

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14

"What are you doing here Jackson?" I asked while I tried my best to act normal.

I heard him sniff me out as if I was a flower and I hated it. I wanted to swat his nose so bad but I would not do it in the hallway. I still had some dignity left.

I opened the door to my apartment and he went in after me. I could see in his hazel shifting to yellow that he was angry. Well, join the club. I crossed my arms under my breasts as I braced myself for his next move.

"You slept with him." He growled.

"Yes. I did and it was amazing." I said pissed. "Adam is my boyfriend and we're both adults so we get to have mind-blowing sex if we want to."

I saw him tense and flex his hands at his side but I would not back down. First, it was bad to show a predator that you were scared because they would see it as weakness and attack and second, I was never apologising for not doing anything wrong. Especially to Jackson.

"Did he... Mark you?" He asked.

So he could not smell if we had... Maybe I smelled too much like Adam for him to be able to tell.

"No he did not. I'm not ready for this yet. I can see myself be happy with Adam but I need to know more about his world before we get to marking."

I walked to my coffee machine and made myself one as well as one for Jackson. I knew he liked his coffee short and black.

"Give me another chance." He said behind me but without touching me.

"You had so many already Jackson. Not gonna happen. I'm happy with Adam. It's new but I can ask him anything and he always answers." I said matter-of-fact.

I handed him his coffee and scooted a bit. I knew Jackson would never hurt me but I did not want to touch him. I remembered vividly what he felt like under my fingers and it would be a lie to say that I did not want to feel it again. It would take some time to put him aside completely but now I had Adam and I always felt a deeper connection with him.

Jackson was a fine man though but more on the rough side. He looked wild and sexy and that was what drew me in the first time. Adam looked more like a sexy God than a sexy wildling. Adam was composed while Jackson was all temper.

"You've always loved him more." He said through gritted teeth.

"That's not fair." I frowned. "We've been together for a long time Jackson. I loved you and it still hurts to think about us. I would have chosen you if you had been honest with me."

I hated that my voice broke at the end of my sentence but it was true. When we first started dating, I imagined myself getting married to that man, having kids and raising them as we grew old together but his cold attitude and his half lies took us apart. It was hard to not look at him and not see what could have been. It was simply not possible for my heart to forgive him right now.

He put his mug down and tried to grab my arm but I eluded him. I did not want his hands on me when the only one I wanted was Adam now. He took back his hand and tightened it into a fist.

"Adam is not all good as well. You'll see. Tigers aren't like wolves. When you dump his ass because he's being a dick, know that I'll be here. I won't give up on you Mia. I love you."

I was stunned that he would say that so I shot up my gaze to meet his. His hazel eyes showed only resolve and I knew that he was stubborn enough to do exactly that.

He took advantage of my daze to embrace me in his arms and kiss me like there was no tomorrow. I was shocked at first and the smell of him was intoxicating.

I remembered so many good moments we had and I knew that he was a good man deep down but he was not the one for me if he could not be honest with me. I pushed him from me and he let me. I glared at him because I did not like to be touched like this without consent.

"How dare you kiss me while Adam is courting me. He never did that to you." I spat. "That's enough Jackson. I don't want to see you here again."

"I don't mind doing everything I can to get what I want." He growled.

"Even raping me Jake? Would you do that to me?" I snarled.

That had the effect of a slap right to his face. He jerked and his eyes widened while he considered my words.

"Baby I would never..."

"Get out. Please Jackson just... Get out."

He closed his mouth and his eyes steeled as he threw a last glance my way before leaving my apartment. I felt terrible and I knew the raged filled tears would soon fall so I needed to do something else. My heart was aching because I still loved Jackson. It was too soon for him to be out of my system.

I needed to tell Adam but he was busy already... I could leave him a message though. How I wished he was here. I could use some emotional support right now. I dialled his number and fell to voice mail. Perfect.

"Hey it's me." I said softly. "Just had a visit from Jackson. It went... bad but he's gone now. I wish you were here with me but I know you're busy and that's all right. I hope you have a good hunt tonight. I miss you."

I ended my message and hung up. I needed to get my mind busy so I would not think about the ache in my heart. I hated that Jackson still had a hold on me but it was the truth. Adam was sweet and we had a wonderful start so I hoped that with time, my heart would mend the wound Jackson had made. I could see Adam be there to help me through it all.

I settled on the couch and turned on the TV. The tears started to fall while I watched the last episode of Grey's anatomy. I had a lot to catch up on other series but somehow I was exhausted. Who would have thought that it would be so tiring to face my ex huh?

Around 4 p.m. there was a knock on my door and I wondered who that was. I looked through the peephole and there stood Adam. What was he doing here? I opened the door and he engulfed me in his warmth. He was trembling and I could feel the rage in his eyes.

"What happened?" He asked in a growl as he tried to fight his tiger. Too close to the full moon to be in total control just like Jackson.

I hugged him tight to me and that calmed him down a bit. Enough for him to stop trembling and start stroking my hair. I took him to the couch and he pulled me on his lap. I felt safe surrounded by his arms like that.

"What did that stupid mutt do to make you cry honey?" He asked softly touching the puffiness under my eyes with the pad of his fingers.

"Promise me not to get mad." I said feeling worried all of a sudden. What if he resented me after I told him that Jackson kissed me? I felt bad enough as it was...

"I can only promise not to get mad at you." He said.

Fair enough I thought. I hoped that he would keep his word as I started to explain.

"He came by so I would give him another chance. I told him that I didn't want to. I had you now and you make me happy. He accused me of favouring you over him always and that you were not as good as I thought. That he would be there when I dumped you and... He said he still loves me. I was stunned and he took advantage of it... He... He kissed me. I chased him out right after telling him that I didn't want to see him again. I'm so sorry..."

He had tensed under me and his arms were gripping me tightly. Not tight that he might hurt me but tight enough that I would feel him vibrate with rage again.

I felt the growl errupt in his chest and as I looked into his eyes they were pure gold and foreign. What to do now? This was the tiger in charge and he was pissed. I knew that I was safe with him but I still felt a bit of fear. He lowered his eyes on me and all I could see was rage.
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