The woman left me, and I was in pain. Yes I’ll admit it. I. Am. In. Pain. A lot of pain. I mean I feel like I was thrown off a cliff and hit every sharp rock on the way down. I may have even lost my voice screaming in agony. Then of course someone comes by and tries to save you when you want to die. But that’s the thing I am dead. Apparently I was sent to hell with demons waiting, and when my skin could feel the heat of this world the demons reached out.
The next thing I knew I was being tortured and abused. As a man I’ve never been abused this way, and it didn’t feel respectable.
I tried to be relieved when my new captor left, but I was too afraid and hurt to take care of myself down here in this hell. As I sighed it got caught in my throat, and my body tensed. I couldn’t even breathe? Great. Being careful I let out the rest of my sigh. I knew I didn’t have the strength to sit up and search my body for the deeper wounds, so I just closed my eyes and felt.
My chest was ripped to shreds, my arms had claw marks where they held me down, and I had stinging bite marks on the inside of my thighs. My throat was swollen, but that wasn’t their fault. Well it was, but I was the one who screamed. I screamed so long my face eventually froze looking like an open mouthed bass. Maybe if I could just get closer to the water I could wash away as much grime that clung to me.
Because my muscles were shaking, I had to still them and tense up. I closed my heavy eyelids tighter than they already were and moved...an inch. This was going to take forever knowing how much pain I was in. I felt like if I moved another inch a bone would break or get pulled out of its socket. What’s the point in moving if you feel like you’ll get hurt even more?
Well...however long, later I was positioned at the edge of the river. My arm was lying in the cool, refreshing water, and the prickles of my wounds were slowly dissipating. Somewhere inside I found some renewed energy and dragged myself all the way in. Hissing a burning satisfaction, I was slowly pushed down the river.
As the burn of my muscles and open wounds began to feel numb, I started to remember my life on the surface.
My childhood didn’t have very good memories, so I tried to steer away from them. But nevertheless they flew at me like it was yesterday. These memories consist of an abusive brother ñ only by word, nothing any harsher ñ But oh could he get my feelings stirred. I think he was the one who shaped me into who I truly am; a stone faced, cold hearted, ass. Or at least I feel like I’ve become that way. My parents weren’t much help because whatever my father did to my brother was done to me. My mother, like any other, couldn’t handle what happened in the household so she drank, and drank, and drank until she was delirious and had to be put to bed by my own hands. I loved her, but I hated that she didn’t have the strength to do something about my father, or save her boys from his tormenting.
By the time I was eighteen I moved out, and my life changed drastically. The money I saved from the hours I worked helped me get into college, and I worked all through college and after to pay off the loans. My college life was like any other, wild and filled with girls. Once I ran out of girls to go out with and bring back to my dorm, I found alcohol as my saving grace to get through all of life’s stresses. And yes, that meant I became someone like my mother.
In the end I couldn’t even tell you how I died, I was probably drunk. I could have been driving; I could have walked across the street at a green light and got run over. I have no freaking idea. I guess it doesn’t really matter any more because I’m already dead and floating down a river. The only heavenly thing in this hell.
At this point the memories have started to fade and lethargy was sinking in. I was still apprehensive about the demons the woman warned about... was it Katie... no, that didn’t quit fit. She was too beautiful and exotic. It must have been –
At that moment my thought process was cut off, because my shoulders rammed into a barrier. The barrier was hard enough to jostle me out of the groggy state of mind, and whimper in a fresh round of pain. As the throbbing subsided, only by so much, I was able to use my instincts and figure out what this new obstacle was.