I mumble when Fee is still over me. His six foot five inch frame completely hides the five foot five inch me.
This is the donkey that speaks.
And I don't to a least bit like him getting so informal with everyone he meets, especially my circle- that remains strictly confined to my mother.
"Are you troubling my daughter again?" She isn't serious. Never serious when it came to him. Maybe because she knew well that he is the only one who could and would never hurt me, not pretty emotionally.
She's treated him like her son. Said that it made her feel like she was caring for her own child whom she'd lost as a still birth.
"Certainly not Anns. You know how I've been brought up. I won't take her till our wedding night."
I don't mind when my eyes enlarge bigger than the saucers I put tea-cups in but continue to throw fatal daggers at this creature to and like the ass he is, he dodges them all.
"Shut your potty mouth Fee. It's disgusting." That donkey has the audacity to talk about my s*x life in front of my mother.
"Not when you kissed me moments ago Mar."
"You twat! Just shut your uncultivated, undefined, uncouth, gross, smutty speech of utterly wank bullshit. I did not ever do that!" By now, I'm forced to strain my tonsils to get my little speech to immediate effect.
"Oh hail thee! She curses." He throws his hands into the air in mock exasperation and exaggerates to an extent which has no limits.
"Only when you test my limits exceedingly you moron."
"Oh holy bro-colli! Two curses in one fucking minute. That is
super great." He bloody winks at me boiling me more in the process.
Meanwhile, my mother finds it entertaining enough such that it elicits a nice short laugh from her. "I'm gonna leave you two here. Come down for dinner soon." The door shuts and now I can really wring him on the previous events.
"What in the hell hole gave you the permit to talk to me, in front of my mother, like that? I never freaking kissed you. You're so disgusting Fee."
"I like annoying better." He just sits there with an annoying smirk still plastered to his annoying face.
"SHUT UP!" I glare irritatedly at him.
"Fine psycho!" And with that he starts out for the door.
"Fee..! I shout and run after him throwing a pillow at him in the process, which he so diligently dodges. Damn my shooting skills, and my running skills!
Mother makes a second call for us hinting dinner was ready and served and that gluttonous crass of a man is down in a matter of milliseconds.
Dinner usually went in a hype of heated discussions and deluded conversations but with him at the table I don't think it could get any worse than what was routine.
That twat discusses soccer and politics with a collective general-knowledge base of my mom, who already has an overall idea on matters of radical discussions than I could muster in all my life.
I'm not jealous. Nope! I'm just in the fear of losing what I have so zealously guarded all my life with so much devotion one could've put in, in the first place itself... a.k.a., my dignity, inclusive of all the facts I've so blatantly been ignoring all through my life.
I know what is to come for me when my mother continues to glance my way every tenth second in the midst of the foggy credulous exchanges.
I quietly get up, collecting all used up cutlery and silently exit the arena of my utter present public shame.
The kitchen seems to sense my discomfort. The small place having so much within it stands darkly mum not giving away one fact that without it a home wasn't a place one would want to dwell in, in anyway.
The lights give way to a small shriek that stays within me as I turn around and look for the intruder of my carelessly sketched out thoughts.
"Hi chubby pie." He grins stupidly standing at the doorway.
"Yes, what do you want now Fee? Oh, of course. Just wait outside while I get the pie for your hoggish access. "
"Aww you know me so well Mar. So well that sometimes, just sometimes, I can't help falling in love with you." The poor song shreds into pieces the moment he begins with the contrasted tune.
"Oh just get out already." I shrug turning away from him.
"Yeaa-uhh! Why so moody Mar? I just wanted some oxidane." I feel the chimp swinging himself closer as he finishes his sentence.
"What did you just say?"
"Duh! Oxidane is the IUPAC name for water, aka H..2..'O', something which people like you don't know!" He laughed hysterically at his lame joke and I glared still keeping a straight face till he was done. Unfortunately for me, his male ego was too stringent to allow him to halt his snorts and groans.
"Fee! Don't irritate me you twat!" I'm shaking with fury while he just laughs even more.
"Yeah yeah. Stay cool ice cube. I was leaving anyway."
"Wait, take the pie with you. It'll me take some time to get done with these."
Ever so calmly he comes up to the aisle, picks up the water bottle and all this while I have my eyes right on every inch of his body. With Fee, you never know which part is ready to attack you with anything at hand.
Surprisingly, he exits quietly taking the pie with him and I continue with what I was on. The thoughts no longer the same fascinating ones as they once were but it's really is a thing to wonder how ones mind is never left empty. It's always thinking, something or the other. Making decisions, planning scenarios, questioning ones own thoughts. It's a vicious circle one can't so easily escape.
Wasting no more time I start with the dishes. Minutes later that twat appears in sight again.
I have no energy left to bargain with anything he has to propose so I just give him the look.
He understands all too well and just stands beside me looking at me with that irritating look just because he can't irritate me more now. I feel exhausted and my duffer knows it well.
Quietly he brings his hands in front and I notice a huge piece of pie on the plate. My heart floods with joy. I quickly wash my hands and towel-dry them using the spare towel kept at the side. I take the plate with gratitude and finish it's contents within minutes. Giving him one of my flashier smiles I thank him.
I finish with the last plate all the while in a serene silence which becomes really awkward with him. He breaks the it in the most unusual of ways he could've thought of.
"I'm staying with you tonight." He says while moving a bit closer and I snap my head in his direction.
He closes the distance between us and for the first time in my life I feel a weird nervousness growing in me, while around him.
"Wh...what?" My voice doesn't betray even a hint of nervousness and it is enough to obtain a smug smirk on his face. I'm left vaguely confused.
"Goodnight truffle." He playfully ruffles up my hair and goes to his room.
Ever since his mom died, relations between his father only deteriorated with time. After college he would usually come over to my place and chat my mom's ears off. She'd never mind. Instead she only loved the company she received. I was happy as long as both my cuties were happy. It was then that staying over here became a lazy habit of his.
And that too explains why he has a spare key to my apartment.
It is already 11 when I glance at the clock and knowing that idiot, he would still be reading his quora feed. I don't know what he even finds so interesting in that question answer app of his'.
Without even knocking I barge into his room and there he's laid in his full glory, not caring an ounce about his muscles rippling, as he types furiously onto his screen. I peek though his side, carefully stretching my neck to glance over and see what he was typing. Thanks to my eyesight, I couldn't see a word without squinting properly.
I have no idea what happens or how or when does it even occur, that in the next few seconds we are rolling on the bed laughing. Err...correction I'm rolling on the bed laughing.
"St... stoppp plea.... ahahaha hahaha... Feeee hahaha."
"You sneaky little psycho. Where are you manners huh?"
I was laughing insanely, each breath getting short of oxygen I desperately wanted to take in. But he didn't stop. Occasionally he paused and would allow me to get stabilised but then he'd continue tickling again.
Damn him! Damn him to hell and back because I don't want him to go anywhere too. If he'll die it's my right to kill him. Only mine.
"Wa...wait. pleaaaseeee hahaha waittt."
He stoped then. He knew me too well to know that I was serious this time.
Ohkay! Taking a final breath of long relaxation I spoke.
"Look, I'm not feeling sleepy."
"No muffin! I'm really sorry but I can't entertain you right now because one: it's not allowed and two: we're not married yet."
"Shut up you dope! I want some suggestions about my project. So... please help me?"
"Ahan!" He exclaimed as he sat up and folding his arms over his head that now rested on the headboard, smirked sideways at me.
I knew that reaction so sickeningly well. That retard wanted something that only l had. He's such an asshat I tell you.
"What do you want now?" I stood standing with a firm hand on my... not so firm waist.
"You know what I want love!". He gave me the same naughty smile that I knew too well.
"N...Oh yeah I think l know. You want a tight wack on your face."
He raised his eyebrows. His face now becoming oddly serious, that mischevious glint of revenge not leaving his eyes and I looked for the door immediately.
He saw me looking too and smirked again.
And... I ran. For the life of me I ran because if I stopped he'd tickle me senseless this time.
Before I could even exit the door he caught me. Lifting me up he threw me onto the bed and started with his torture. When I shrieked he quickly shut my mouth with one hand of his. I wasn't able to breathe. I looked at him wide eyed and while he just casually smirked.
"Mmm.. ng.. mm... Ggg" I mumbled and that's when he stopped. With pleading eyes I communicated and thanks to his mood he really did stop.
Finally, I could breathe again!
"Hey you asshole. Stop your hands right there."
He straightened up, his smug smirk still not leaving his face.
I straightened up too. Getting oddly very, very serious I kept my say in front of us both.
"Look, the aim of my project is to study changes in human behaviour resulting due to the profession they've either chosen themselves or gotten in by luck of lack of it.
And I think I should be going for someone like... like ... an escort. A male escort!"
For some weird reason, Fee's face drained all the colour it had on it. It would've been hilarious only he was angry, very angry if I must add.
The only time I've seen him this angry was when his father attended the annual college fest as a trustee to our college.
I was taken aback by the growl, although not really sure if it was really from his throat because unusual things are sometimes very hard to believe.
He rarely ever growled at me.
Nonetheless I continued, ignoring his sudden rise in temper and praying he doesn't start shouting for thinking of the insane.
"And also I was thinking..."
I was jerked to a stop by the angry man intervening my string of thoughtful fantasies not so politely.
"Go to your room. We'll talk about this tomorrow morning, over breakfast."
Hmm... talk about pms now!
However, I knew I was left with no argument with the bossy Fee. So being the wise one, I did what I should've done.
I left, without so much as a goodnight.
Take that, twat!