"A day and three hours, Dagon. Thatís how long it's been since Iíve seen those eyes of yours and heard your voice." I paused and tried to think of something I haven't already said a million times already. "I'm here, waiting for you. Please, Dagon. I love you."
I sighed again and rested my head once again on his chest.
We were in my bed...no our bed, at the cottage I called home, and I wanted Dagon to wake up so he could explore what I wanted to share with him. But something had a hold on his heart and soul. Something I couldn't reach.
When we came back from the woods, and then the village, I was so exhausted that once Calder had brought Dagon to the bed, I just ended up right next to him sound asleep. I guess my consciousness understood that the whole crowd who saved us could let themselves out.
There isn't that much else to tell. I've been by Dagon's side ever since. Always falling asleep and then coming out of slumber talking with him. Obviously it was always a one sided conversation, but I still believe my mate is in there. I could feel it.
"Camira!" I've tried yelling her name in hope of her hearing me so many times. I don't think I could count. I gave up a long time ago. Apparently one day and three hours. Now I just respond to her, even when she can't hear me.
She just told me that she loved me. "I love you too, babe." I sighed, wanting her to hear me for the thousandth time.
I laid there all day and the beginning of the night waiting for him, always. Then Kenna came and told me to get off my ass. Her words not mine.
"So, tell me about him."
Kenna had pulled me into the comfortable living room, and told me to stay as she made us some hot chocolate. Something I always needed when flustered and stressed. Right now I was very worried and alone.
I sighed as Kenna sank deeper into the used cushions. "He's amazing."
"Well they're all amazing sis. Tell me who he is."
It was a long time before I found the words. But soon I was telling her our story. A few times tears choked up my throat and Kenna made promises I knew she couldn't keep. And then I would continue. At one point I told her about his past -- about his two brothers that never had the life they were born to live -- and then about his father, who was the leader of Nedra. But I never told her how Dagon was treated. I felt like that was too personal and something that should be kept between us. I also never told her about the detail of our nights. I blushed and she knew.
I told her about the forest I never saw before, about the wolves that stuck by my side even when Dagon caught up with me. "I felt like I've changed," I paused, looking at my sister over my mug, "If that even makes sense."
Kenna nodded. "Yeah, I can see it. There's a knowledge and a confidence that's grown." She smiled, and there was something that connected between us. Pulling us closer than before.
I sighed, comforted by the knowledge that Dagon was in the other room waiting, and I had my sister, who understood. "Dagon's sweet, and understanding, he's firm when he wants me to understand something," my face heated with a blush when I remembered the night he told me never to hide my singing again. "But he was the first one who understood me," quickly I rephrased that, looking at Kenna, "outside of you and Kallan."
Minutes went by and we just relaxed for the first time, breathing the same air. Our feet were both on the cushions, knees bent. It's just been so long. Then I confessed something I wanted to be true and hoped it was true. Deep down I knew. "He loves me, Kenna."
There was a light that gleamed deep in Kenna's soul ñ showing through her eyes. She was happy for me; she understood. "Do you love him?"
A slow, building smile spread across my face, and it almost hurt. "Yes." My confession was softly said; afraid I would be told otherwise.
Kenna looked at me then, and it was just one of those looks. I replied, "Yes, Kenna. How could I not love him?"
She nodded once and took another gulp of her warm chocolate. "Good."
We sat together, and the presence of Kenna helped me cope with reality, but soon I became irritated -- fingers trying to get comfortable around the mug. I wasn't necessarily frustrated with her; there was just a pull that wouldn't be ignored.
"So how's Calder?"
"That's my cue!" Kenna announced, heaving herself up with the room temperature chocolate in her hands. She had some skills. Kenna didn't even spill a drop.
Turning, Kenna leaned down and gave me a quick hug, and whispered in my ear, "take care of yourself while I'm gone, 'kay?"
I nodded my head.
"Take a shower," she finished, standing up to her full height.
I gave her a sensitive look.
Kenna rolled her eyes, "It'll relax you, I'm not saying you stink." She moved to the little open kitchen and placed her mug upside down in the sink. Rotating, she said, as if second thought. "Although, Dagon wouldn't like it if you starting to stink so don't go without a shower...please, for everyone's sake." Kenna smiled then.
I nodded numbly like she was giving me orders, but all I could think of was Dagon and his cold, still body.
Kenna knew, because as we met at the door she took my hand. I looked up, making eye contact.
"He'll wake up, just give it time."
I nodded again. That seemed to be my only response tonight after a whole night of talking about him.
"Okay, 'night." And then the door was shut and Kenna, the safety net, was gone.
I rushed to Dagon, like he was the water I needed after a journey through the desert, and gave him a swift kiss. "I missed you."
“I missed you, too.”
She still couldn’t hear me, and I wanted her to.
I had heard the whole conversation Camira had with Kenna, and I was glad she came. I was afraid Camira was never going to breathe different air other than the air around me. I loved her, but she needed what Kenna gave her tonight. Whether she knew it or not.
Selfishly though I was glad she came running back, I missed her gentle warmth that seeped into my side.
Minutes later I felt the hesitancy flowing off my mate. Camira told me she’d be back after a shower. I smiled, on the inside, knowing she was taking up Kenna’s suggestion.
I pictured her slender body, undressed, stepping into the stream of water. I wanted to be there with her, soaping up Camira’s body and washing her hair for her. Being Camira’s slave. I wanted to kiss her soft skin and feel her arousal. Instead I was here on the bed, stiff as could be listening to her hum, picturing the water stream over her bare breasts.
I wanted to be with her. I decided in that moment that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. My mate. I wanted to laugh, and cry, and share memories with her. I wanted to hear her voice whisper in my ear and sing, filled with all the joy in the world.
My eyes snapped open.