Time after time, I tried to find new people to move in with but they either kicked me out just as my parents had done, they abused me or they cheated on me. It was not easy finding a forever home, especially considering I was almost eighteen and my appearance didn’t help one bit.
I was scrawny and underweight as I often times did not have enough money for food. I was short and bony and my once beautiful golden blonde hair had faded and was coarse and tangled and resembled straw more than hair.
I did not have any way to make substantial income as most jobs declined me so I had to resort to something I never would have pictured myself doing.
It was eleven p.m. and I found myself in the usual alleyway by my apartments. I walked through to the dim streets where a few shady looking cars were parked talking to women who wore almost little to no clothing as they twirled their hair and flirted with the drivers.
I was wearing the same attire as I wore a little black denim miniskirt that barely covered my bottom, black stilettos and a black crop top that hung so low it almost revealed my entire chest.
A car pulled up to the side of the street where I was walking as the driver rolled down the windows. ¨Hey, pretty little thing¨, the man slurred, clearly intoxicated. I was surprised he was able to drive. ¨How much?¨, he asked me as I fiddled with my purse nervously, feeling on edge by this man. Usually, I was not fearful of my customers but something about this man was off-putting. He had an evil glint in his eyes and this man looked rough as he was covered in tattoos and his teeth were covered by a grill.
¨U-Um, fifty¨, I stuttered as I tried not to look at him. I chose to ignore the feeling I was getting from this man. I earnestly needed the money. If I was unable to provide my landlord with due rent this month I would be losing the place I had to live and I would be back to living on the streets.
¨Hop in¨, the man smiled grimly as he opened the door for me and I got into the car. The man pulled away from the curb driving away as I gulped and looked around me agitatedly. ¨Wh-Where are we going?¨, I asked the stranger anxiously as he snickered.
¨Just sit back and relax, kitten¨, he told me as he drove into the dead of night. The way that he used the pet name was not in a reassuring or kind manner, but more in a degrading way.
When we were surely in the middle of nowhere, he pulled my seat back as he climbed on top of me and I tried to scream. I shouldn´t have ignored my gut reaction about this man. For now, he was going to take advantage of me.
When he was finished with me, he drove me back home as he kicked me out of his car and sped away. Now, not only was I feeling filthy and used because he had given me no choice in the matter but I did not receive any money for my services or compliance. I would not be able to pay the rent and I was surely going to be homeless.
The thought alone made me sad and sick to my stomach, knowing once I was back on the streets I would run into more men like tonight who would take advantage of my weakness and force me to do indespicable things with them. You may think I am used to doing things with people I hardly know as it is the only way that I earn money but there is a difference between doing things willingly for money and doing things without any choice in the matter.
I returned back to my apartment where my roommates were having a party as loud music was blaring and people were playing games on the television. ¨Hey, Maddox¨, I yelled over the loud music, ¨May I speak with you?¨. He rolled his eyes but quickly got off the couch where women were crowding around him flirting with him.
¨What do you want, pip squeak?¨, he asked me, using the nickname he had given me since the fifth grade. Now it was time for me to roll my eyes as I grabbed his shoulder and looked at him concernedly. ¨I wasn´t able to make enough money tonight¨, I said to him as he sighed and closed his eyes rubbing his temples.
¨Suzie¨, he said, ¨You have one job and that is all. Why couldn´t you have just done what you were supposed to do?¨. ¨I tried¨, I cried out, ¨But this man took me and he did stuff to me and he didn´t even pay and-¨.
He cut me off, not even letting me finish my sentence. ¨I´m really disappointed, Suz¨, he said as he shook his head angrily at me. ¨Just go to your room¨, he ordered me as I hung my head low and was banished to my room as Maddox returned to his guests and continued to party for the night.
You may be wondering why we were not able to pay rent if it was not only me living in the apartment but also my long time friend and roommate Maddox, his friend, Bryant, and his girlfriend Juliana.
Well, to clear a few things up. Bryant did not work, all he did was sit around on his bum playing video games, doing drugs and drinking all day. Juliana was a hooker like me, and also like me was barely able to make enough money to scrape by but she pitched in with as much money as she could muster which I appreciated dearly.
Maddox was a bagger at a grocery store and also barely earned enough money to conclude as minimum wage, so while Juliana, Maddox and I all had earned income it was barely enough to pay the utility bills, let alone rent. We were screwed and it was all because I was unable to earn the measly fifty bucks that was withheld from me that night.