|to hell with the consequences|
I blinked a few times, trying to get my bearings. I don’t remember falling asleep; actually, I don’t even remember getting home. The last thing I remember is talking to my mum in the packhouse back garden. I must have fallen asleep, and Alarix brought me here instead of waking me up.
I scanned the room, realizing I was in the packhouse. Alarix was sleeping beside me. He was laid on his front, with one hand under the pillow and his other draped over my waist.
Even his sleep isn’t peaceful. His eyebrows were furrowed, and he had a deep frown set on his face. I wish I could take all of his worries away. He doesn’t deserve anything that’s happened to him; none of us does. He deserves buckets full of happiness.
I held my hand up slowly and gently traced my finger along the creases on his forehead. I leaned forward and brushed my lips against his. He was insanely gorgeous, and I still couldn’t believe he was mine.
I moved back, and my eyes wandered down his back. He was wearing a teeshirt, but I could see his muscles straining against it. I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth as my eyes travelled further.
He gripped my waist, causing me to squeak. I grabbed the blanket and held it over my mouth to muffle my giggling. I definitely been caught ogling him.
“I can feel your eyes on me,” He muttered, sleepily with his eyes still closed. “Did you sleep ok?”
His voice was giving me all kinds of feelings. There was a weird sensation in the pit of my stomach. I knew what was happening; I was aching for him, literally. I’ve been scared of doing it. Not of him or actually doing the act, but what it means when we do. It doesn’t matter how long we delay it... they’re going to keep coming at us.
We will be stronger together; we both know it.
I hummed and stretched. “I did... Why are we sleeping here, though?” I questioned. I was hoping he would pick up on my emotions and know what I was thinking. I don’t know how to tell him that I want him without actually telling him.
He leaned up, resting on his elbow. “You fell asleep in the garden with your mum, so I brought you here.” He explained, brushing his fingers lightly against my skin under my teeshirt.
“You should have woken me up. We could have gone home.” I chuckled.
He gave me a small smile, shaking his head. He rolled over onto his back and sighed, staring up at the ceiling. I leaned up on my elbow, mimicking what he did and gazed at him.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
I know what’s wrong. I can sense it through the bond. It would explain why he hasn’t sensed my arousal. I want him to tell me. I want him to know he can speak freely about it. He doesn’t have to feel embarrassed. Feeding is a part of him. I thought he would know by now; it doesn’t change how I feel about him.
“Um, I need...” He shook his head and sighed.
“Alarix, tell me.” I prompted.
He gazed at me. I could see him struggling with how to answer. I sighed, leaning forward. I held my hand against his chest as I placed a kiss on his chest over his heart.
“You know you don’t have to hide it... You don’t have to feel embarrassed or anything.” I declared, my eyes burning into his as he watched me intensely.
I lifted the blanket from around him as I gripped his shirt with my other hand, dragging him up and swung my leg over his waist, straddling him. He sucked in a breath and gripped my waist.
I held onto his shoulders as I leaned forward, pressing my lips against his. I snaked my hands over his shoulders and threaded my fingers into his hair as I started grinding against him. He gasped, parting his lips slightly. I slipped my tongue through his lips, meeting his.
“Wha-” He was cut off as he let out a long moan as I pushed against him harder.
He pulled away, holding my waist tighter, trying to halt my movements. I frowned at him and sat back against his thighs.
“This... this isn’t what I wanted.” He muttered.
“So, you don’t want me?” I raised my brow and went to move off him.
He snorted and shook his head. “You’re kidding, right?” He scoffed.
“You need to feed... You want me. I can feel and sense it,” I stated.
He glanced between us, staring at himself. His gaze locked back on me, and he took a deep breath.
“I want you,” I moved forward again, rubbing myself against him. “I want you to make love to me. I want you to feed on me,” I moaned.
I trailed my hands down his neck and around his throat before copying my movements with my tongue. A rasping, inhuman growl rattle from his chest as he thrust his hips up.
“You want me?” He heaved. He was breathing hard, grasping my waist. I fought back a chuckle; I can’t believe he even has to ask that.
I peppered kisses up his neck, along his jaw, before settling on his mouth. I drew back and exhaled, “of course I do.” And I meant it. I’ve never been more certain in my life.
“Why now?” He questioned.
I sighed, dropping my head against his chest. “Alarix, I always want you. You’re my mate, and I want you to be mine in every way possible,” I mumbled.
I peered up at him when he didn’t reply. His eyes were hooded with lust and desire. Red was swirling around the longer I stared into his eyes. I brought Lola forward, so my eyes would flash black.
“Make me yours, please,” I whined, gripping his biceps.
“To hell with the consequences.” He growled, flipping us over.