|i would rather live without her|
I can’t focus.
I can't stop my fangs from extending randomly.
I can't sit still.
I feel like I can’t fucking breathe.
Ever since I saw her in the forest... She’s all I can think of. I knew she was my beloved. I know it was foretold... That is all I know. My parents ordered me to leave after the seer began speaking. I was intrigued that a wolf is my beloved; my parents soon put a stop to that.
They forbade it... They said I wasn’t going to disgrace their bloodline with a wolf.
I know what happens when you don’t listen.
Her wolf was stunning. She was bigger than I expected, not that I expected much as I haven’t really seen a wolf before. But her human side... Fuck, she was something else altogether.
When she jumped out at me, I couldn’t believe it. I knew she hadn’t taken a chosen mate. I could smell her innocence which only fucked with my head even more.
My father told me she would... ′A werewolf will not accept a vampire into its pack... She will take a chosen mate.′
Obviously, he hasn’t got a clue.
She’s my beloved, and I fucking ran away.
Hearing her broken howl brought me to my knees. I had to go back... I had to speak to her. I wasn’t expecting to find her... Naked, hiding under a tree. Talking to her was out of the question. I knew if I heard her voice, I’d claim her there and then, and that can’t happen.
I grunted and picked my jacket up from my bed. I need to see her just one last time... I’m fast enough I could get away without hearing her voice.
I pulled my jacket on and walked out of my bedroom. “Alarix...” Celeste tutted, shaking her head.
“Don’t start, Cel.” I groaned.
“Oh, baby bro... I hoped it would have been different for you.” She smiled sadly at me. “Listen, you should feed before you go to her.” She whispered.
I told Celeste as soon as I found her. I didn’t know what to do. So, I sat in my sister’s room, crying on her fucking shoulder. She knows exactly how I’m feeling; she understands the pull. I know she wouldn’t tell our parents and I’m glad I have someone to talk to about her.
She spun me around and pointed down the hallway. I followed her finger and groaned. A woman was leaning against the wall with her back to us.
“She is here for Athan... But you can have her. She knows why she’s here, and she’s willing.” She murmured.
I hissed, spinning around. “You know I don’t feed on humans,” I snapped. “Athan can have her... I’m sure he’ll be happy with her.” I grumbled.
I watched as Athan, my brother, stepped out of his room completely naked. I rolled my eyes as I heard the woman make an awful moaning sound. He winked at us before leading the woman into his room.
“You know you will be stronger if-” I growled, and she pressed her lips together. “I’m just thinking about you, Rix.” She sighed.
I nodded and groaned. “Try and stay away from her... If mother and father found out, I’m afraid for yours and her life.” She whispered.
“I need to see her again, Cel. The bond is eating me up on the inside.” I whimpered. She nodded sadly at me.
I know she understands, and I know what she is saying is true. If mother and father knew I’d found her... If they knew I was longing for her.
They would kill her. I would rather live without her by my side than live without her.
They killed Celeste’s beloved. He was a human, and Celeste marked him. When mother found out, father killed him in front of Cel. It nearly destroyed her... It still does haunt her.
Celeste gave me a quick hug before she sauntered down the hallway, probably back to her meal.
I refuse to feed on humans... I wasn’t always like this. When I turned eighteen, Athan gave me a female to feed on. I was excited... Far too excited that it didn’t end well. I regretted it instantly, and I refused to sink my fangs into a human again.
The clan doesn’t get it... They find it strange. They’re just humans; they don’t matter... but I find them fascinating.
I love how dysfunctional, how selfish and needy they can be. They make me feel... Normal. Like the woman who is now Athan’s meal for the next few days... She will stay here, get fed on, probably fucked until she can’t walk and then she’ll crawl out with money.
I can’t and won’t. I only feed on animals. I’m not as strong as I would be if I fed on humans, but animal blood has kept me going for seven years.
I made my way down the stairs. “Alarix, where are you going again?” Mother scolded.
“I’ll be back soon,” I muttered.
“Don’t forget Lenora is coming tomorrow with her father for the official meeting.” She mentioned, raising her brow at me.
I nodded and plastered a smile on my face. “I haven’t forgotten. I will be there.” I replied.
She nodded and turned her back on me. I rushed out of the door before she could continue questioning me. As soon as I stepped outside, I breathed out.
The smell of the human world is questionable... It burns my nose.
I walked aimlessly down the street. I was heading for the forest. I know where she is... I know what pack she’s staying with. If I can get one look at her, I’ll be satisfied. I can leave and let her get on with her life.
I sighed and shoved my hand through my hair as I remembered about tomorrow. Lenora is the daughter of another pureblood clan. My father made a deal with Lenora’s father for her to be my beloved. The unity of Lenora and I will ensure war doesn’t break out between either of our clans.
Purebloods are top of the chain, almost like royalty. We do have a royal vampire family... although they aren’t seen often. They only come out when there is a dispute between clans.
I stopped as I reached the forest. I took a deep breath before racing through. I needed to get deep enough into the forest so I could see her.
I halted when I saw her stood on a balcony. She was stunning, even more beautiful than I remembered. Her hair was brown, laying on her shoulder all twisted. Her eyes were a brown colour too but seemed darker than her hair. There was no sparkle or life in her eyes... She looked defeated.
My eyes roamed over her body. I sucked in a breath as I realised she was wearing my hoodie. She lifted the hoodie to her face and buried her nose into it. I groaned as I watched her inhale my scent and breath out, looking relaxed.
I had pushed forward and didn’t even realise. My body was reacting to being this close to her. I could smell her; I don’t think I’ve ever smelled something so enticing and sweet. I wanted to touch her; my fingers were itching to feel her smooth skin under my hands again.
She squinted into the forest. I watched as her eyes went wide. Shit, my eyes must have changed. I closed my eyes then opened them. I did it a few times, trying to get rid of the feeling she was giving me by staring straight at me. I knew she couldn’t fully see me, but she knew I was here.
Fuck this... I need to get closer.
I dashed forward and stopped outside of a huge fence. I watched as she jumped off the balcony; my heart was in my throat.
I could hear her heartbeat; she was getting closer. It was like music to my ears... If my heart could beat, I think it would match hers right now.
I moved back, hiding behind a tree so I could look at her without us getting stuck in a fucking stare off.
She stopped, and I saw her shoulder slump down. It was either because of the massive obstacle between us or because she couldn’t see me.
She was feeling the pull of the bond. It was hurting her as it was me. I could see it in her face. Fuck, being here wasn’t good for either of us.
I could feel her wolf... I’m not sure how it was even possible, but I could. Her wolf has a kind soul; I could sense it. She doesn’t deserve getting sucked into my cruel world... I don’t deserve her.
I stepped to the side to leave but ended up standing right in front of her.
My breath seized in my throat again as our eyes locked. She looked so sad, and I hated I was the reason for it. I’ll look at her for a bit longer than I need to leave before she speaks. I don’t want to hear her voice or know her name... I won’t be able to leave otherwise.
I scanned my eyes over her body as I realised she was doing the same. I pressed my lips into a tight line as I felt my fangs protrude. I wanted to jump this fence and sink my fangs into her. I wanted to feed on her; I wanted fucking everything with her. I took a deep breath before spinning on my heel.
“If you leave... Don’t bother coming back, mate.” She seethed.
Fuck my fucking life.