The Time has Come
All I do anymore is stare at the clock and check my phone for messages from him. It's been a week and I haven't seen or heard from him. He said he was busy with work. I am too, but I'm willing to make time for him. Is it that hard to call or stop for a cup of coffee? How about just let me know how he is? I drop everything for him when he calls me. I cancel plans with friends, I make excuses, I lie. I hate that part because I know I'm lying about where I am, who I'm with, but mostly because I know I'm lying to myself.
Parker is a busy doctor. He's up for a promotion to be head cardiologist and has to work crazy hours and seems to be on call so much. It's a high stress job. If he isn't at the hospital, he's volunteering at the clinic. Sometimes he barely gets any sleep. Then there's his wife. He's married, and he's my.... boyfriend? Lover? What do you call him when he's already got a label as husband? He's just not my husband. This is the part that's difficult. I never wanted to be the other woman. I would never have hurt someone this way. It's not like me, it's not who I want to be.
"Hey! Maggie do you want come to happy hour with us tonight? I've got a friend for you to meet." Lily grins at me wiggling her eyebrows before she starts cleaning up her desk.
"Um... no. I told you I'm seeing someone, remember?" I whisper and twist the ring on my right hand around and around my finger nervously. I have to be careful who hears this. If it gets around about us, I know Parker won't like it. He asked that I kept things between us to myself. He doesn't want anyone to know or more specifically he doesn't want his wife to know. I'm his secret and he wants to keep me that way.
"Uh yeah, but you aren't really seeing someone when they don't show up or cancel on you all the time. Come on Maggie, seriously, you can't secretly date a married man. He doesn't take you out, he doesn't respect you enough to be honest with you. There's no future with the guy. He's only using you, don't you see that, honey?" Lily says touching my hand to get my attention.
"Lower your voice, please." I beg her looking around secretively. "I wasn't supposed to tell you that much, but you didn't give me a choice with all the blind setups you keep planning for me."
Lily rolls her eyes at me. She doesn't like Parker or the fact that we're together. She's not made a secret about how she feels. I'm not happy about the way this has turned out either. It's nothing like I expected it to be. I thought it would be romantic and we would talk and get to know each other. He barely talks and has been spending less and less time with me lately. I needed to talk to someone, that's why Lily knows about it. She sees just how deep I've gotten and how I'm struggling with my decision.
"I only do that because you deserve more than being the other woman. Don't look at me like that, you know I'm right. He's a jerk and you know it. " Lily says pulling out her purse and keys.
I rub the throbbing pulse at my temple, I hate this conversation, we've had it too many times over the last six months. The worst part is I know she's right. "What do you want from me? He loves me Lil, he said he's leaving her, it's just complicated. He promised he would be able to leave soon, I just have to wait a little longer."
"Do you hear yourself?" She doesn't believe me, I can tell by the look on her face. If I were to be honest with myself, I don't believe it either, not anymore. "Maggie, I would rather you spend your all your spare time with a vibrator than him. I think you'd get more satisfaction from it. You're gonna be hurt and disappointed not just in him, but yourself for letting this continue. I just want someone for you who can make you happy, honey. He's not it."
I don't want to admit she's right. I don't want to admit how lonely I am and how disappointed in this choice I made. It was a mistake as soon as I found out about it. I made a bad choice agreeing to continue this and I knew it from the time I found out he was married and I kept seeing him. Parker told me they were separating though, and I believed him. He's told me a lot of things that I've learned weren't true. Now I'm in love with a married man who has lied to me, breaking his word to me and her. Over and over I've believed him, over and over he's lied.
"I love him, Lily. Please don't push right now." I grab my purse and stand up. "I'll see you Monday."
I walk out to my car and climb in. It's the same conversation every week. Every time we get to payday, every time she wants to set me up. Closing my eyes, I sit in my car and push back the tears. What's wrong with me? Why don't I finally get the guy? Why doesn't he just call? As I start the engine and start to back out there's a knock on my window. Jumping in my seat, I turn and see the man that's breaking my heart.
"What the hell! Parker? You scared me to death!" I chastise him as I get back out of the car. He wraps his arms around me and kisses me softly then looks around to check around us that no one saw it.
"I'm sorry, love. I wanted to catch you before you left work. I was hoping you didn't make any plans so we can get together tonight." He smiles that sexy smile, the one that always makes me weak and I know what I'm going to do.
"I'm headed home now. Dinner out and a movie. Lily said there's a great new restaurant that just opened..." I suggest but Parker shakes his head shutting me up.
"Baby, you know we can't." He cups my face and kisses my forehead. "Just a little longer Maggie, I promise. Then we'll be together. I'll see you at your place, baby. We can talk about everything you want us to do tonight after I make love to you."
After he gets what he wants from me he'll talk. I already know this conversation. He'll tell me how much he loves me and we'll be able to openly be together soon. Just a little longer is all I hear from him anymore. I can't keep going on this way though. I need more I deserve more. I'm tired of always being second choice. It feels like that's the story of my life.
He left me standing there alone and by the time I got home he had left me a text that she needs him and he wouldn't be able to make it. It's his wife, she should take priority, but what about me and what I need? I've put everything I have into this relationship and I've gotten nothing in return, but sex, a little pillow talk and a lot of broken promises. It's not enough anymore. I'm not begging for him anymore, I'm not waiting for him anymore. I want more, I deserve more. It's time I get it.
It's pretty good crowd for a Friday night. Happy hour, good drinks, music and friends. Who could ask for more? I love my hometown of Austin. I tried the big city life in Chicago, it's too crowded, too cutthroat in business. I wasn't cut out for it. This is my speed. Moving to Long Beach was the right thing a year ago. Bringing my friends into the picture made it perfect. The Full Circle Bar And Grille is mine. Mine and my brothers anyway. My buddies and I went together on this and it's the best decision I've ever made.
"Booze, girls and football, man! It's a great weekend coming up." Jeremy grins at me over his beer. "We're BBQing at the house Sunday, you should come, Trent. You spend so much time here in the darkness of the bar, I'm beginning to think you're part vampire."
"I'm only making sure your investment is profitable, man. And by the way, women love vampires." I smirk as a very sexy blonde across the bar lifts her drink to toast me then winks. The two other very beautiful ladies with her giggle as I smile and nod my thanks. My point is made.
"You're a fucking man whore, you know that Trent?" Jeremy teases me. Like he's any better.
He's just jealous that I don't have to work for the ladies' attention. I just get it. It's been this way since we hit puberty. A wink of an eye, a sexy smirk I practiced for hours to perfect in the mirror and every girl dropped their panties for me. Even my baby brother didn't have this luck.
"I was not the one who fucked the twins last weekend, at the same time!" I reminded my best friend.
He's more of a dick to women than I am. I'm at least honest that it's just sex and nothing more. No promises and no commitments. It's just easier to not get attached. I've been there and gotten burned for my efforts, I don't plan on going there again.
"Yeah? I can guarantee neither of those lovely ladies know who you are or care to. The only thing they were thinking about that weekend was me. They were properly treated to a good time and thanked for their time." Jeremy informs me.
"Yeah? What were their names, asshole?" I ask knowing full well he doesn't have a clue. At least when I'm with a woman I find out her name. There's nothing worse than calling out the wrong name when you're right in the middle of things and getting your balls yanked for the mistake. It only takes once to be sure that doesn't happen again.
"Beauty and the Beast. Who the fuck cares? It's not like I'm gonna see them again." He laughs looking up at the TV to check out the score of the game. "Fucking Blake Bradford is a damn beast out there! Have you seen his wife? The things I could do with her."
"Hey Jeremy!" Oh shit! I could not have set this up better. Jeremy chokes on his beer when he turns and comes face to face with the twins in question. Someone just fucked up.
"Ladies!" He says straining to smile. I know he's trying to cover up that he has no idea what their names are and I'm betting doesn't fucking remember a thing that happened because of his buddies there at the end of the bar who tried to out drink him that night. Jeremy was too trashed to remember anything that night.
I look at him and turn away to hide my laugh. Our buddies were sitting at the bar listening to us, didn't even try to contain their laughter. I walked over to the cooler and got cold bottles out for each of them and set them in front of my boys. Then walked over to the twins. It was time to set my best friend straight on who was top dog with the ladies around here. I fixed them both tequila sunrises and placed the drinks down in front of them.
I remember exactly what they drank last time they were in. Hannah and Hope beautiful identical twins. Long light brown hair, big brown eyes and sun kissed tight little bodies that could make any man hard instantly. I remember them perfectly. Jeremy is about to be schooled in women.
"On the house ladies. Welcome back to Full Circle." Taking each of their hands, I kiss each one. "Hannah and Hope, right? I'm Trent, I own this place. You need anything at all, you let me know. I'll take care of your every need."
The girls giggle and blow me kisses. Yep! Works every time. Not only did I just get to put Jeremy in his place, but I ensured that I'm getting laid... not once but twice tonight. Life is good.