A week had gone by since the incident between Jayce and I. I hadn’t left this room and Moira had made sure that no one had come in to bother me. I had grown to really like Moira, she had a very maternal nature and reminded me a lot of my mum.
Moira had also explained to me a lot more about shifters but she still couldn’t explain to me exactly what I was. I’d completely healed from my injuries in three days, this clearly shocked and intrigued Moira and she’d spent hours combing through books looking for anything that could possibly shed some light on my uniqueness.
Even though physically I was healed, mentally I was not. The first two nights I hadn’t slept at all, every time I closed my eyes I relived the incident. I could see Jayce’s black eyes and hear the way his wolf had howled. I could feel his hands on me, no tenderness...just pain.
Rogue had retreated deep inside me. She was licking her wounds and no matter how much I had tried to coax her out, it was useless.
“Give her time sweetheart” Moira soothed as she sat next to me, scanning through another text.
I raised my concerns with Moira this morning about Rogue’s absence, she hadn’t seemed surprised at all.
“Our animals have different ways of dealing with things compared to our human side. Jayce’s wolf was clearly torn between the feelings of disrespect and betrayal, but also lust. The wolf acted on those feelings, not Jayce”
I nodded and looked down at my hands, it still didn’t make the pain I was feeling any less.
“Your animal, I would imagine, is feeling ashamed and guilty for the way she made her Alpha feel. I’m in no way condoning Jayce’s actions, but it may make it a bit easier for you to understand why you’re animal isn’t responding to you”
I knew Moira was right. I could tell that Rogue was ashamed but I could also feel that she was pining for her mate. I, on the other hand did not feel ashamed. What ever secrets I was keeping were secrets to protect my life, I would never apologise for that. I would also never apologise for kneeing Jayce in the crotch, if I hadn’t done that then who knows what might have happened. His wolf would just have to deal with it.
“You are a strong woman and will make for a phenomenal Luna one day, if you can ever bring yourself to forgive Jayce. I have known him since he was a pup, he is one of the most loving and loyal men I have ever known. He lives and breathes for his pack, we are everything to him. Now the goddess has fated him a Luna…”
“I don’t know. I barely know him, this has all been so much. I’m so confused with everything that I’m feeling, I need clarity” I whispered
Moira took my hand in her’s and smiled warmly at me.
“It’s important that you follow your heart, Quinn. The mating bond is a strong one and although you haven’t sealed the bond yet...if you leave him you will never feel whole again. Rogue will never forgive you and life with a spiteful, heartbroken animal could be very damaging to your soul”
“What should I do?” I sobbed, wiping away a fresh tear.
“Go to him. See for yourself how remorseful and sorry he is, then you can make your choice”
I knew what I had to do.
As I approached Jayce’s pack house I saw Matt walking out the front door.
“You’re here!” Matt announced, looking down at my arm, “and you’re healed...”
Matt reached for my right hand and grabbed it softly, he looked dumbfounded.
“Umm, yeah. Good genetics I guess” I mumbled and pulled my hand back.
“Sorry. I mean, Cameron said you had healed but I guess I needed to see it for myself”
“Where is he?” I changed the subject.
Matt’s face fell and he pointed up to the second floor of the pack house.
“He’s up there. I assume you’re talking about Jayce”
I felt my stomach turn and my hands start to tremble. Matt clearly sensed my unease and he smiled at me warmly.
“I can come up with you if you like...I know Jayce feels absolutely gutted about what happened. He has tried to see you everyday but Moira, well, she wouldn’t have a bar of it”
I smiled at Matt’s comment. I could just imagine Moira chastising Jayce as if he were a child and sending him on his way.
“I think I’ll go up on my own” I answered.
Matt nodded, “Well how about I just stay down here then? It would make me feel better anyway”
I smiled at Matt and walked inside the house. When I got up the stairs I paused. I could feel him already, the feelings were even stronger than before.
For the first time I could sense Rogue stirring inside me, she could feel him too.
I saw that my bedroom door was open and I walked inside. There he was, sitting on the end of my bed - his giant frame making it look tiny in comparison. He sat with his legs splayed, his elbows resting on his knees. He gazed up at me; the hurt in his eyes tearing at my heart.
“Hi” was all I could muster.
Jayce looked back down at his feet and took a deep breath.
“I’ll never forgive myself” he whispered.
It pained me seeing him like this and slightly pissed me off. I was the one that had been hurt, I was the one who should be sulking, not him.
“Good” I spat.
Jayce’s head snapped up and he looked at me.
“You hurt me. You hurt me, and in more ways than one...”
“No!” I cut him off, “I’m talking!”
Jayce looked shocked, I guess he wasn’t use to be spoken to like that. I really couldn’t give a shit.
“I’ve had secrets that I have been carrying around my whole life. Secrets that I couldn’t tell anyone out of the fear of being killed...or worse, them being killed and I won’t have you treat me like a liar for not telling you straight away”
I knew the only way Jayce and I could move on was for me to come clean to him. Something that Moira had said to me really resonated, about listening to my heart. It made me think of the letter mum had written me. She had said to trust my feelings and that when I find the one who can love and protect me...let him.
I knew it had been Jayce she was talking about, I knew it from the moment we first kissed.
“My parents are dead because of me, because of whatever I am” I said, my voice starting to tremble.
“Did you kill them Quinn?” Jayce asked.
Rogue was not happy with that question at all, I could feel her rage leeching from my pores.
“Of course I didn’t! It’s my fault they were murdered but I didn’t murder them!” I cried.
Jayce stood up and took a step towards me. I put my arms out to prevent him coming any closer.
“Don’t! You don’t get to comfort me right now” I hissed, “Just give me a minute”
I took a few deep breaths and walked over to the window, opening it for some fresh air.
“My parents were amazing people, they raised me the best way they knew how. They hadn’t hidden the fact that there were other beings out there but they had never suggested that I was one. They said I was special but they had also told me that there was a creature out there that wanted to kill me...”
I could see Jayce taking it all in. I watched as his body tensed at the mention of my life being in danger.
“When I was fourteen there had been an...incident. I had been attacked by a man on my way home from school. He grabbed me and tried to rape me...”
Jayce’s eyes flashed black for a second and I felt my skin crawl. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, breathing out slowly before looking at me again.
“Continue” he murmured.
“Thankfully my father had prepared me for such an event and I fought him off” I went on.
“You fought him?”
“Well actually” I laughed, “I put him in hospital”
Jayce actually smiled. It was nice to see that smile again, even if it was only for a fleeting moment.
“The problem was that the story made the news and my parents freaked. They were convinced that Clayton would come for me...so I had to run”
Jayce’s hands gripped his knees and his jaw clenched.
“Did you say Clayton?”
“Yes. Why?” Quinn asked hesitantly.
I could feel my wolf huffing and baring his teeth. It was a name I hadn’t heard in a long time but it couldn’t be coincidence.
“What does he look like?” I asked, wanting to make sure I wasn’t jumping to conclusions.
Quinn shrugged, “I don’t know, I’ve never seen him before. I only know his name is Clayton and he is very dangerous...and a wolf”
“What else do you know?” I insisted.
“Nothing! I told you. Jayce, what is it? Why does his name have you freaking? Do you know him?”
I could tell Quinn was getting nervous. She was probably rethinking her safety at this point and for more reasons than one.
“I know a Clayton. Whether it’s the same one, I’m not sure”
“Is he part of this pack?” Quinn cried, pacing the room, “I need to get out of here! I knew this was a bad idea. I knew you were a bad idea”
Risking getting kneed in the balls again I made a move towards Quinn. I placed my hand softly on her shoulder, my heart breaking as I felt her flinch at my touch. Thankfully though she didn’t move away. It was a good start. Quinn looked up at me, her blue eyes glistening with unshed tears.
“The only reason I am still here is because Moira told me to listen to my heart” she sighed.
“And what does your heart say?” I asked softly.
“Am I safe here?”
Her question threw me. I didn’t know if she was referring to me or Clayton. I never had any intention of hurting Quinn and for the last week I had been working hard with my father to help regain control of my wolf. I definitely felt more in control but just touching her made my heart race and my skin burn...I wasn’t about to make a promise I could not keep.
“I won’t let anyone hurt you Quinn. I swear to be your protector whether you like it or not”.
I walked over to her bedside table and opened the draw. Inside was a box, I took it out and passed it to Quinn.
“Even if that means protecting you from me”
Quinn opened the box. Inside were three syringes.
“Wolf sedative?” She asked
“Yes. This is stronger than what we use on the training grounds. Moira had this specially formulated for me. It will have my wolf incapacitated within seconds and will last about half an hour”
I knew I had to give Quinn something to help her feel safe and trust me again. I hoped she would never have to use it but if it made her feel more comfortable to have it, then so be it.
“I’ll need to speak to my Beta. If it’s who I’m thinking of then my pack, our pack, will protect you with our lives”
“Our pack?” Quinn repeated, looking up at me.
“You are my mate. If you choose to be my Luna then one day you will lead this pack alongside me...but if you choose not to then it will still be your pack for as long as I live”
“I have been open and honest with you, Jayce. Now you need to be that open with me”
“I will be”
“My heart is telling me to trust you” Quinn said quietly, closing the box, “don’t fuck it up”