Diary of Choices

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The New Player

It was a beautiful Sunday morning. Sunday was a day we were all so eager to go to church and worship God. Alfred drove us all to church as a family. Even as grown adults, we still had the same Sunday routine we had when we were kids. Also we all still attended the church we had been attending since we were born.
Elizabeth wore her hair packed up in a pigtail, she wore a dull red gown with low ballerina shoes. Lizzy was a member of the church choir, she had the most angelic voice to compliment her beautiful face. Some say she is an angel that was sent to earth to bless us with her wonderous gifts.
I wore my hair packed up with a band and I wore a hat to cover it; I wore a black pencil skirt and a white fitted shirt, with heavy ruffles designs in front of the shirt and red high- heeled sandals. I was a member of the church ushering department.
Alfred wore a navy blue double breasted suit just like our dad’s with their favourite Italian shoes. They have similar tastes in so many things, it is almost scary.
Mum wore a yellow sundress with low heeled peep toe shoe.

After the service, everybody in the ushering department, as was our usual tradition, lined up at the door to greet people as they were leaving the church and sometimes we also directed people coming to church, for the first time, to the right person that they need to talk to, in church.
Today, Elizabeth went to Andrew’s side immediately after service and started making small talk with him although his eyes and mind seemed not to be in the conversation because his eyes were searching the whole church for something or someone. I kept myself safely hidden in plain sight, in the midst of the crowd, doing my duty. I was at my duty post in the line of ushers as usual and surprisingly I saw Brian in front of me, I didn’t notice him entering the church before or during the service. I smiled and stretched my hand out for a handshake but Brian pulled me towards him and gave me a long tight hug.
“What a pleasant surprise but, is that hug the equivalent of, ‘I am sorry for asking you to dance with me and, not waiting for you and the next day I acted as if nothing happened’”
“Well, that about summarizes it all, I’m sorry, can you ever forgive me?”
“Who am I to be angry? Your apology has made you whole” we both laughed for a few minutes, it felt so good to be in his company again, Brian always knew the right words to say to make me smile so brightly, he was such a pleasant person to be around
“What brings you to church today? Is it to apologize or did my darling sister charm you to come to church”
“I can see that you have settled your differences. I knew that you were going to be able to do it and you proved me right and now that you mentioned it, yes you are right, it’s for those two reasons that I am here but don’t get jealous of your sister.” He winked as he said that
I couldn’t hold back another round of laughter, it was at the moment I threw my head back in laughter that I noticed that Daniel had been standing in line after Brian without moving. A lot of people were leaving my line to join other lines so they could quickly leave the building but he wasn’t leaving. In fact, he was staring at me like as if he was upset with me, it made me uncomfortable. I had never had a conversation with him besides the exchange of pleasantries. What could I have done to warrant him being upset with me? I then realized that it is exactly what he would want me to do. From all I have heard about him, he is good at playing mental games with people. It felt like he was trying to bully me but if he, for one second, entertained the thought, that I would give him the satisfaction, of knowing that he was successfully making me uncomfortable, he had better rethink things, because he had another thing coming. I refused to be bullied by anyone for any reason whatsoever.

“Well, I am not jealous but seriously tell me what brings you to church? Since you never really believed in God, no matter what anyone says on the matter”
“Actually, it’s because of you”
“You know that you could apologize anywhere you see me but why in church, are you feeling a particular urge to come to church”
“Don’t push it, I told Alfred and I’ll tell you, I don’t believe in God so learn to start living with it. I actually came to see your face. You know, to see you” He said the last part in a low tone, like he wanted the words to sink in. The words made me feel like my lungs were being constricted.
“ME!” I was completely shocked and I didn’t understand what he meant at all “I don’t understand, why would you want to see me”
“Well, for starters I hear that you’re fasting and praying today in your church and I just thought that maybe I could support you”
“I thought you don’t believe in God, why would you want to fast?”
“Fast, who said anything about fasting with you, I want to support. I want to support you without having to fast with you at all or pray for that matter. A brilliant idea just popped into my mind, why don’t you fast and pray for both of us and I give you the required words of encouragement”
I looked at him for a few minutes as I didn’t believe for one second that was what he intended to say but I couldn’t do or say anything to push this matter forward so I burst into laughter. He seemed like he was struggling with himself, like he wanted to tell me something. I did not want to make things awkward. He will tell me in his time.
“You are such a joker, a very good one, I must say”
“I saw you early yesterday morning taking your dog for a walk. I never knew that you had a dog. What’s its name?”
“She is Calmstorm and she is my sweet baby, maybe one of these days, we can walk her together” I said and almost immediately realised that I sort of asked the guy out, that was so dumb of me, I started praying that he didn’t hear how that sounded, I honestly was avoiding this becoming an awkward situation
“Maybe I should give her a man; I also have a dog, a male dog. His name is wildfire and he is a wildfire indeed, maybe she could mate with him and hopefully give birth to a litter of puppies, you know, some cross breed pups wouldn’t be a bad idea”
“Don’t count your chicks before they are hatched.” I said a slight prayer in my mind. God bless his soul for not making me feel uncomfortable
“You mean don’t count your puppies before they are born” I found myself laughing again.
“Brian, please. I want to have a word with Katherine, can you excuse us”
Dan said stepping in between Brian and myself, right where we were about to set a time or something relatively close. I fixed Dan with my most stern look. He may have just cost me a potential date because of whatever he felt he urgently needed to say.

Brian graciously moved back and walked away after giving me a nod and one of those award winning smiles that curve up one side of his face. “You know Katherine, you shouldn’t just allow yourself to be talking to just anyone for such long periods of time” he held me firmly by my elbow and walked bristly away from the church building. I couldn’t even get time to digest what happened and what he said. He pulled me along with him until we got outside. We were walking far away from the church building and because of how he was firmly holding me, I was giving my full concentration to keeping my balance so I do not fall down. We were almost towards the backyard of the church, Daniel’s right wrist was satisfactorily bruised with frantic sharp nail injuries. My hat had fallen off in the rude movement process. My hair was flying around her face. It was unbound and untamed and I was flushed with anger. I bit deeply into his hands and he had no choice but to release me from that his death grip but by then we had already reached the backyard of the church. I was so upset, I just slapped him as soon as he gave me back my hands

“Who the hell do you think you are? Are you mad or are you just brutal? How dare you? What nonsense. I demand an apology this instance. You are out of your mind. Why did no one even stop this maniac?”
“Please follow me; I want to talk to you privately.” He tried to hold my hand again but this time I was faster and I quickly kept my hands out of his reach
“Don’t you dare try to touch me again or I shall shout rape on you and be sure that you are as good as dead. I AM LEAVING, NOW”
“I’m sorry for my behaviour but don’t be annoyed or scared. You caused it. You caused my anger. I was standing there and you didn’t even acknowledge my presence” he was rushing his words and raking his hands through his head at the same time and weirdly enough, I found myself wondering how the texture of his hair felt like. I wanted to run my own hands through his hair. I wanted to beat him up almost as much as I wanted to run my hands through his hair but I would die than admit such desires to him. They were desires that would be deeply buried in me forever and ever. I saw the way his mouth was moving and I found myself imagining how his lips would taste. I quickly banished the thoughts. I had no incline as to why I was having such thoughts. I don’t need complications in my life and Daniel looked like a whole avalanche of complications. I need to get my head in the game. There was a reason why I was single.

“Are you anybody important that I must acknowledge your presence?” I snapped
“My God, you are rude. Indeed you are very rude. Everyone told me you were rude but I didn’t believe it until now that the rudeness is towards me.” He said with a smile, an amused smile which was very unsettling. Why was the clown amused?
“I don’t care what you or anyone else says about me”
“Ok, fair enough, let’s be friends”
“I don’t make friends with brutes”
“I can see that service is over. Just to show you I’m not a brute and for the pleasure of it; do you mind if I walk you home. It would be a wonderful honour to walk the sharpest nailed, sharpest tongued, beautiful lady in the world home”
“I don’t like walking home on heels”
“Luckily for you, I brought a car so you don’t have to walk on heels”
“Well, since you asked if I minded; yes, I do mind, you shall not walk or drive me home”
“Give me one good reason why I shall not walk or drive you home”
“It’s not your business but if u want to know, I’ll tell you; I brought my own car”
“I could drive your car and later come back for my car.”
“I have to see a few people before I leave and it may take a while” I was running out of excuses but I did not want to be in the same space with him. He was making my mind think up crazy things. I wasn't myself around him
“Luckily, today is Sunday so I have nothing else doing, I would love to wait for you no matter how long you take”. He said smiling and my knees almost buckled beneath me, his smile was devilishly handsomely sexy, it was like a wave of sexy just hit me, he was indeed sophisticated sexy and with that smile I was disarmed, I couldn’t think of another excuse to use to be far away from him, why would I be noticing all these things about this untamed, proud and arrogant brute, he was so much worse than Andrew, I could tell.
“What do you really want from me?”
“I’m quite disappointed in you. You think I am doing all these so that I can get something from it. Like I said I want to be your friend, your close friend”
“In your wildest dreams” I don’t need this man around me for any reason, I had better run as far away from him as my legs can allow, if my legs would listen to me, there seemed to be a force that kept me rooted right there, I could have walked away a long time ago, I never reacted like this around him before so what was different now
“Which I am about to make a reality, Starting with tomorrow night; just you and I, only us on a special magical night and you would tell me what you think of me and then we would be a little bit closer, that is the first step to friendship or a little bit more than friendship”
“Really, is that so? What if and I assure you it’s a very likely possibility, you don’t like what I want to say. Must I remind you that I am a very rude girl and I can say anything that I wish to say, nothing is too harsh or absurd for me to say”
“You know what? I’m confused. I don’t know which one I love anymore”
“I’m lost, I don’t get you. What do you mean?”
“Well, what I mean Katherine Alexander, is that I am not sure if it is your smile that captivates me or your anger that makes me to stand in awe. I am totally confused. I am in a complete dilemma over which I love most”
I couldn’t hold myself back anymore, I couldn’t hold back the smile, my very first genuine smile since the beginning of our conversation, a smile that radiated from within
“I have to go now. My family members would be worried about me. I’ll see you later”
“I’ll be waiting for you to be done so I can drop you at home, would love to get to know all there is to know about you, then we would have a date tonight”
“I thought we said tomorrow night."
"tomorrow night then" I immediately realised what he did. That sneaky brute.
"Don’t you ever pull me like you did today again. I don’t like it, okay?”
“Okay. I’m so sorry. I promise not to pull you like that again”
“Apology accepted”
“Good”
“How do I dress for tomorrow night, anything in particular?” Since he did not say anything about where the date was going to be.
“No, just dress in anything beautiful and attractive, basically that means that you should just be you, I’ll see you tomorrow evening. I’ll pick you up around 7pm tomorrow. Right now, I would be in the parking lot waiting till whenever it is you are ready to leave the church premises and go home”
“Perfect, see you later and of course, see you tomorrow evening” I turned around and walked back into the church. I could still feel his eyes on me. What have I commited myself to?
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