Everybody has scars. They are just a way of life. Whether they were from self-inflected wounds or forced upon oneself. A scar is a scar and it will be with you forever.
Not all are visible. If you're lucky, your scars are visible. The physical pain of seeing something can help get over the trauma. When the scar is left on your mind it's a lot harder to heal. You can feel the pain over and over again with no relief. Medication only works if you're lucky. Nothing is more unsettling then waking up from a nightmare to realize you were never asleep at all.
That has to be the worst. You come too after the nightmare or flashback and you have to remember where you are, what you were doing and what is going on around you. More times then I can count it has happened to me.
My name is Scar. Scar isn't my legal name but it's the only one others call me. It's the one I come to love and loathe. Coming to terms about my so-called name has made things easier. It's still hard, don't get me wrong, but it's better then before.
I am 21 and a junior in college. What am I studying you may ask? Photography with a minor in psychology. Photos have always been important. With them memories never die, no matter if they are good or bad.
Today I only have one class. English 115, better known as creative writing. One of the classes I didn't mind taking. It has been my favorite class so far. For my professor, she can be a real bitch sometimes. Ms. Bitch let us out early today so I can't say she is a total bitch all of the time.
"Veronica can you wait a second please?" She spoke as all of the other students filed out of the classroom.
Once the last student was out the door I grabbed my helmet off of the floor along with my leather jacket and walked to her desk.
"I prefer to be called Scar." I said and stared at her.
"Did you know that Saint Veronica is the patron saint of Photography?" She asked.
"I've been told." I answered.
"You are literally living up to your name." Sophia said.
"One of the reasons why I go by Scar." My attitude not faltering.
"What are the others?" She asked and crossed her arms over her chest.
"Sophia, in Greek mean's wisdom. Why don't you use some of your own to realize I like being called Scar?" I asked and turned my back to her.
People call me Scar because of the one obvious thing. The three inch long scar that runs from the end of my left eyebrow down my left cheek. My body is covered in them. This one is the most visible though.
With my helmet on my head I climbed onto my motorcycle and start it up. My ninja roared to life and I got on my way to my apartment.
Scars can tell your whole life story if you let them. They are like one giant map and only one person has the key to decipher it, to unlock all of its secrets. You just have to be very careful of who you give the key too. If you give it to the wrong person they can ruin your life.
Whizzing through the streets of New York City has become a normal occurrence since I started at NYU. It's easy to hide in a big city. It's like you are one fish in an ocean.
Pulling up to my building I hopped off of my bike and walked inside. I took the elevator up to the fifth floor and walked down the hallway to my apartment. Before I even unlocked the door I can tell that my roommate is home.
Holy by PVRIS is blasting through the apartment as I shut the door behind me. Its not that I disapprove of the song choice, it's just to loud. And yes before you ask I do have a roommate. Her name is Amanda and we have known each other since our freshman year of college. We were roommates then and now three years later we are still roommates.
As I walked over the sound system Amanda walked out of the kitchen. I turned the music down to an appropriate volume and turned to her. After we got stuck in the dorms freshman year I moved out during the summer to this apartment. Amanda went back home to Australia for the summer and when she was coming back for her sophomore semester, I just asked her to move in with me. We hit it off right away and we became really good friends.
It is safe to say that Amanda is the only friend I have here in New York. She is the only one who has seen me at my worst and hasn't run away. I owe her a lot.
Right now Amanda has her hair up in a bun and is wearing an old t-shirt.
"I'm making dinner, it's almost done." She beamed.
"Why are you cooking without pants?" I asked her as I shed my leather jacket.
"I forgot I wasn't wearing any. I'll go put some on." She said.
"Don't, I like the view." I said and gave her a smirk.
"Well now I will go put on pants." She said and ran down to her bedroom.
I watched her as she went to her room and laughed to myself. I don't know what it is about Amanda but she doesn't like pants. Once she gets home they come right off. It's not that I mind, that girl has legs for days, and don't even get me started on that ass of hers. I walked myself down to my room and put my schoolbooks away and changed.
When I walked back to the kitchen I found her over the stove stirring something in a pot. I smiled and walked over her and wrapped my arms around her waist and put my head on her shoulder.
"So what's for dinner babe?" I asked.
"Nothing if you don't get off of me." She said. I only smiled and shook my head no on her shoulder. Amanda and I are very flirty. It just came naturally and neither of us mined.
Amanda pulled the spoon out of the pot and pushed it towards my mouth. I let her spoon feed me and discovered she made sauce. Out of everything she makes her tomato sauce is the best.
"You made sauce?" I asked excited.
"Yup, now go sit at the table, it's ready." She said and turned off the burner.
I didn't argue or fight her on it. I quickly set the table and Amanda brought out our dinner. As we ate we talked about our day and how our classes went. If anybody were to look in from the outside you could assume we were together.
Dinner ended to soon for my liking and I had to get ready. Today is Friday. After I was done getting ready I walked towards the front door. Amanda was waiting by it with my hat in her hands. She put it on me and I gave her a kiss on the cheek.
"Please be safe" She said quietly.
I didn't offer her a verbal answer but nodded and closed the door behind me. I put my headphones in my ears and made my way to the waiting cab out front. Tony is already inside talking to the driver. I didn't say anything to either of them as we drove.
I found that the drive has always been the place where I feel all of my emotions. The hatred about what I'm about to do, anger that I don't really have a choice in the matter, happy because I'm safe again and passion for the sport.
As we pulled up in the back of the gym I hopped out of the cab. Tony is right on my heels as I pounded on the backdoor. It opens and I walked inside and went right down the stairs. I took a look at the line up and walked back into my dressing room.
Tony took my bag and I started my warm ups. I guess you can say Tony is a friend. He is more of a trainer then a friend though.
But there is still one piece to the puzzle I haven't told you about yet. His name is Dante, Dante Rizzo, King Pin for the Italian Mafia here in New York City. Speaking of Dante he just walked into the room.
"Listen here kid. You beat this chick tonight and you are going to be getting a big pay day." He said.
"How big are we talking?" I asked paying attention to Tony as he laced up my right hand.
"10K would be yours, make me proud Scar." Dante said and kissed my head before he stuck his cigar back into his mouth and left the room.
10 grand. Tonight's fight must be a big deal. Whoever Dante had here is a big spender. Usually if I win my cut would be a grand or two. The underground fight seen here is pretty large and Dante's friends love to watch woman beat the shit out of each other.
"10K is a lot Scar, don't let it go to your head. You need to focus. This chick you're fighting is tough." Tony said as he finished lacing my left hand.
I just nodded and started up my music again. Tonight is a huge night for me. This prize of 10K is just icing on top of a big cake. With a win tonight I'm getting one step closer to the end.
I had about a half hour alone before Tony came and got me. I waited until I heard my entrance music and lowered my Yankee hat even more before strutting out to the ring.
Looking out into the underground world I saw the cage, my prison for the next 15 minutes. As I got closer I could see my opponent.
"Listen to me. She is fast and has a deadly left hook. Watch for a kick every now and then." Tony said as I got to the cage door.
I could only nod before the ref looked me over and let me inside. I crouched down in front of the door and did a sign of the cross before getting up and stepping inside. Even though this place is full of drunken men and women I couldn't hear anything. All of my attention and focus is trained on the girl across from me.
Then I finally heard the bell ring and I felt like home. This chick wanted to start off the fight with a knockout but her punch missed as I dodged it easily. I quickly counter her missed attempt with a hard kick in the ribs.
She went down to a knee and I backed away form her. I wanted to actually earn this 10K. The chick got up smiling and I have no idea why, but I found out as she swept my legs out from under me.
I hit the mat hard because I wasn't expecting it. My head snapped against the mat and I saw stars. The chick took advantage of my fall and climbed on top of me. The first hit she gave me was surely going to leave a black eye. The second was going to leave a nasty bruise. Before she could land a third I flipped us over.
Quickly I unloaded a handful of blows before she used her leg to catch my arm on one of my back swings. She flipped me off her and I got to my feet. Not wanting to go into another round I charged her. But this chick saw me coming and landed a hard kick to my ribs. I felt at least one break as the adrenaline coursed through my body.
I'm not leaving here without that 10K padding the lining of my pocket. I didn't even give her time to recover from her kick before I unloaded harder then before. As punch after punch connected with her body I could feel the life drain out of her. As I watched her eyes close I felt the ref pull me off of the girl.
There was a lot of yelling and this time I could hear the crowd. My lazar focus is draining as the ref raised my arm in victory. I could feel all the pain in my chest coming to the surface.
"Let's hear it for your champ Scar!" The announcer said.
Tony was by my side a few seconds later and handed me my hat. I don't like people seeing my face down here. The less they see of me the better.
"What's her name?" I asked as he helped me out of the cage.
"Tess, her name is Tess." Tony said.
"I need to go to the hospital." I wheezed, the pain in my chest growing.
"Give me a second." Tony said and left me alone in the dressing room.
The longer he was away the more my pain grew. But now it wasn't only in my chest. The back of my head started to pound and I'm pretty sure I have a concussion. Finally Tony was back and he brought Dante with him.
"She needs a hospital, now." Tony said. One look at me and Dante agreed.
"Here kid, you did great today." He said and handed me a stack of money.
I'm fighting for my life and at least this battle I won.