26: I will be strong
Chapter 26: I will be strong
I looked at Bryan standing there with his hands in his pockets and his face looking sad. “What do you want Bryan?”
I asked crossing my arms with the teddy bear in my hands.
“I came here to think. But I saw someone on the swings so I was going to leave but I saw it was you. I decided I’d come and see you.”
“Leave me alone Bryan.”
“I see my dad got the box and brought it to you.”
I looked at where he was looking and it was the teddy. I uncrossed my arms and put it behind me. “Why’d you send it to me?”
“I explained that in the note.”
“Cut the shit Bryan. Why are you trying to be a nice guy? Why are you sending me shit for a kid that’s not yours? And why are you trying to see me after you killed my boyfriend and my kids father!”
He looked down and went to walk away but turned around and looked at me, “You know it’s funny you used to be all about me like how you’re all about him. When did it change?”
“When you raped and beat me!” His face went hard and he came closer to me but I put my hands up in front of me.
“I didn’t mean to yell Bryan. But I need to go. My parents will get worried if I’m not home soon.”
Bryan’s face softened and he nodded then backed up and let me walk by him. When I past him he grabbed my arm and kissed me. I pushed away from him and looked at him mad, “Bryan why would you do that?!”
“You’re mine Vikky.”
“No Bryan. I’m not I haven’t been in a very long time. You just forced me to be yours.”
He looked at me mad and went to go hit me but stopped himself. I looked at him surprised but took it as my chance to get away from him.
“Goodbye.” I said walking quickly away I kept turning around to make sure he wasn’t following me which he wasn’t.
I got in front of my house and saw that my bedroom light was on. I was surprised because from what I remember I shut it off. I walked up the front steps and unlocked the front door then headed into the house. I looked around and everything was off even the kitchen light which my mom usually leaves on incase she has to come make the baby a bottle sometime during the night. I looked around the living room, everything looked the same. I went upstairs and saw my parent’s door was shut and so were Ty and Val’s. I walked over to my bedroom and opened my bedroom door. My mom was sitting on my bed with a picture in her hands. She looked like she had been crying and by the dark bags under her eyes she hadn’t been sleeping a lot lately. Her clothes were all messed up and she looked like she had been in here a while. I walked over and sat down next to her. I looked at the picture in her hands and it was a picture of me when I was younger with Adam and Ty at the beach. I took the picture from her hands and she put her face in her hands and began to cry.
I pulled her close to me and rubbed her back, “Mom what’s wrong?” I asked her.
“I can’t help but think about earlier. And about how you’re hurting, and how hard it’s going to be when the baby gets here.”
I sighed and she sat up and looked at me, “I should be the one helping you. I haven’t been a really good mother have I?”
I looked at her surprised and frowned, “Mom you’ve been the best mom I could ask for and ever have. Why do you think you haven’t been a good mother?”
“Because I haven’t been there to help you through this.”
“Mom you just had a baby who was in ICU for a while and we just got back here nothing has changed that you had to be there for. I’m healthy, my daughter is healthy we’re both fine. It’s what Adam wants for me and our daughter to be strong and I will make sure we will be. I’m going to make sure she knew who her father was and make sure she knows how our family loved him and love her. And how much he loved her already and how much he will always love her and be by her side when things get tough. Mom it’s going to be tough but we’ll pull through we always do.”
My mom smiled and nodded then stood up and kissed my forehead, “When did you become the adult?”
I smiled and rubbed my stomach, “The moment I found out I was having a child.”
She smiled then kissed my forehead again, said goodnight then left shutting my door behind her. I looked at the picture of Adam that sat next to my bed. He was holding me around waist with his hands on my tiny baby bump in the picture. I smiled at it and placed the picture my mom was looking at back next to that one and just looked down at my belly.
“Your daddy loves you baby girl. He will always love you just like I’ll always love you. He will always protect you and be with you.” I smiled as I said it and she kicked a couple times.
I smiled to myself then got off my bed and went to change for bed. When I walked back into my room Ty was sitting on my bed.
I jumped and looked at him, “Why is everyone in my room tonight? Where’s Val?”
He looked up and tears were falling from his eyes, “Sleeping.”
I walked over and he lead his head against my shoulder, “Vik how are you being strong about this now? You were freaking out before.”
“Because Ty I have to be strong for my daughter and for myself. And it’s one thing to be upset but I can’t lose it now. Not when my daughter will be here soon. And besides Adam wouldn’t want anyone upset he would want us all to be happy and strong. You know that.”
Ty nodded and I felt his body start to shake which meant he was crying. I put my arm around him and he cried, it was one thing for Ty to be upset but to cry that was unlikely. I was the only person he ever really cried about and that’s because I’m a little sister to him.
When he finished crying he got up and hugged me, “Are you feeling better Ty?”
He looked at me and nodded then left my room shutting the door behind him.
I looked at my stomach and shook my head, “Get ready for this family baby, it is crazy.”
I smiled then turned off the light next to my bed and got under the covers, the moon was shining directly into my room and I looked at the picture of me and Adam once more before closing my eyes and falling to sleep.
“Mommy? Mommy wake up.” I opened my eyes and a little girl with brown hair and big brown eyes stood in front of me smiling.
“Good morning mommy.” I smiled then put my hand on the back of her head and pulled her closer and kissed her forehead when she backed away she smiled.
“Mommy we go see daddy?” I smiled and nodded.
I got up out of bed and she walked into my closet and got out her outfit she was going to wear. I threw on my shorts and sneakers and one of Adam’s old jerseys that his mom brought over after she cleaned out his room.
“Mommy does my hair?” I looked down at my daughter and smiled and nodded then took out the brush and started brushing it.
She handed me her favorite headband that my mom bought her yesterday. She had different favorites every other day. When I finished I turned her to face me I slipped the headband on and took her hand.
We went down stairs were my sister was sitting in her highchair playing a games with her cheerios she saw us come down and smiled, “Mommy sissy up!”
I walked over and kissed her on the head and my mom walked into the kitchen from the laundry room and smiled at us, “Where’s Skar?”
“Right here nana.”
“Where I don’t see her?”
I chuckled and Skarlet tugged on my mom’s pant leg and my mom looked down, “Hey when do you get here?”
Skarlet started laughing and my mom reached down and kissed her head then walked back into the laundry room to fold more clothes, “Where are you two off too this early?”
“To go see daddy.” My mom looked at me and I nodded then she smiled and said have a good day and we left.
Since the cemetery wasn’t far from the house we were able to just walk there. We walked past the high school and I smiled thinking about how I finished it on time with my graduating class even though no one thought I would because of Adam’s death and my pregnancy. We got to the cemetery and the guy who kept it looking nice and all that stuff. He smiled at us and cut a flower from the flower bush he was trimming. He walked over and handed Skar a flower, she smiled and pulled his arm down so he bent down so that he was at her level.
She kissed his cheek and he stood up and looked at me and smiled, “Just put fresh flowers take as much time as you ladies need.”
I smiled and nodded then we walked towards the grave. Skarlet knew the spot of it so she let go of my hand and I followed behind her.
When she got to the grave she bent down and put her hand to her lips and then on the grave and smiled, “Good morning daddy.”
I stood behind her so she could say what she wanted to. For a 5 year old she was very accepting with the fact that her daddy was in heaven watching over her. She asked a lot of questions but she didn’t get upset until Christmas came around or her birthday. When she started school the first thing she said when they asked were her daddy was, was that he was standing right next to her but no one could see him besides her because he’s her angel and only she could see him.
When she turned and looked at me I walked over and sat down on the ground and she sat in my lap, “I told daddy about how we went to the doctor yesterday with auntie Val. You should talk mommy.”
I smiled and shook my head. I haven’t talked since she was born no one knows why. I don’t even know why it’s just when I go to talk nothing comes out of my lips. She nodded then looked behind me and I turned around and saw Bryan standing there with flowers in his hand.
“Mommy who’s that?”
Bryan looked at her and smiled, “I’m Bryan. I was your mommy’s friend a long time ago. You must be Skarlet.”
I took her off my lap and stood up in front of her. “Calm down Vik. I’m here to put flowers for my mom. I saw you two sitting here and wanted to say hello.”
I nodded and moved my hand gesturing for him to leave.
“So the rumors are true you don’t talk anymore.”
I turned around and bent down to look at Skar in the eyes and told her with my eyes to run home. She nodded then I took my phone out and handed it to her. Why I had a phone was exactly for this incase she was with me and I needed her to run away from what was going on at the time. She nodded then looked at Bryan behind me so I put her face in my hands and made her look at me and she nodded then ran the other way. Bryan chuckled and when I couldn’t see Skarlet anymore I turned around and looked at him,
“Why’d you send her away Vik? Not like I’m going to do anything.”
I looked around and didn’t see anyone around, “Everyone’s gone Vikky it’s just you and me.”
He came towards me and I backed up. “Vikky let’s do it one more time. For old time sakes.”I woke up with sweat pouring from my face and felt my stomach, the baby kicked and I smiled and looked at the picture of me and Adam and smiled then went back to sleep. I wasn’t going to let anything happen to this baby and I’m not going to ever let Bryan anywhere near my baby. I will be strong!