2: How can I not forgive?
Chapter 2: How can I not forgive?
I woke up the next morning more sore than a full day of cheerleading practice and that took days to wear off. I didn’t dear move because I heard snoring next to me. I looked up at my hands and saw that they were still tied down with his belt and my legs still tied down with the scarf. I saw bruises already forming on my arms from where he had grabbed me. I didn’t want to remember how he raped me but the images kept flashing through my mind.
I laid there when I heard his snoring stop and I closed my eyes to make it look like I was still asleep so he wouldn’t try talking to me.
I felt him sit up and untie my arms and legs then kiss my forehead and get off the bed, I opened my eyes slightly and saw him getting dressed. I knew he wouldn’t dare go out the front door so he climbed over me and went out my bedroom window. When I heard his feet hit the ground I knew I was safe to move but I didn’t. I laid there waiting in case he came back or incase he was looking up at my window to see if I would move.
A few minutes when I knew it was clear I sat up slowly and looked at my thighs that were bruised badly along with my arms and my neck had hickeys all over it along with my chest. He really marked me up last night. I slowly stood up trying not to hurt myself more then I already was and I walked over to the bathroom that was connected to my bedroom and took a long hot shower.
Soon my mom knocked on my bedroom door and I knew that I would have to answer or she would get worried and would most likely end up breaking down my door.
I wrapped myself up in my robe and made sure my neck was covered then answered my bedroom door.
“Good morning sweetheart. You feeling better?”
I had to lie I couldn’t tell her what had happened last night; she would feel like it was her fault which it wasn’t.
“Yeah I feel a lot better I think crying all that out and sleeping it off helped a lot. Did he come by at all?”
“Yeah when you were sleeping I told him I would tell you but we were leaving for a while. So get packed because we’re going to stay at your aunts and uncles they are having a cookout and invited us to go for the week.”
I nodded and closed my door, I walked over and looked through my closet, what could I wear that wouldn’t show any of the bruises or hickeys on my body?
I decided on a black ribbed cotton mix tank top with white mid-rise skinny jeans. To cover my bruises on my arms and wrists I put on a white button up shirt. I grabbed my black takizen nep scarf and wrapped that around my neck making sure it was covered perfectly. I threw on my black thigh high boots with my white and black jewelry set. To cover my eye bags I knew I would end up having later in the day I grabbed my round frame acetate sunglasses. I was good to go as I’d ever be I guess.
-2 hours later-
Mom pulled up to the front door and looked at me before I put my hand on the door to get out.
“Let’s try and not focus on Bryan this week at least try and have fun with Tyler and his girlfriend and friends. Hell try to even have fun with the other cousin’s you NEVER spend any time with when we come and see the family.”
I chuckled because she knew exactly why I didn’t bother with my other cousins and only bothered with Tyler. And that’s because when my dad walked out on me and my mom after her losing my baby brother, Tyler and his parents were the only ones there for me and my mom. No one else so while my mom forgave everyone else I didn’t, and that was 10 years ago.
We got out of the car and walked up to the front door, I rang the door bell and not even two seconds after Tyler saw us he picked me up and swung me over his shoulder and carried me off with my mom following behind us. Of course she was chuckling because Tyler and I have always been so close. But I was hurting because of what Bryan did the night before.
When he finally let me down I realized we were in the family room with the rest of our cousins, Tyler’s girl friend Tori who is my best friend outside of cheerleading, and Tyler’s best friend Adam.
I smacked Tyler’s chest and everyone chuckled thinking it was because he picked me up but it wasn’t it was because he really hurt where I was bruised.
I sat down next to Adam on the couch and we all watched TV soon we were all laughing at the show we were watching. My eye lids started to get heavy and I yawned.
“Tyler I’m going to sleep in your room. Night night everyone.”
I stood up and almost fell because of how tired I actually was, but thanks to Adam I didn’t fall because he stood up and caught me.
“I’ll bring her upstairs.” He said as he picked me up bride-style and I laid my head against his chest and drifted in and out of sleep. Soon we were in Tyler’s room. He sat me down on the bed and went to take off my scarf but I jumped and stood up and walked away from him.
“Damn you woke up quickly. I was only trying to take that off so it wouldn’t leave a mark on your neck while you slept.”
I was holding on to the scarf tightly and I shook my head so the tears that were forming wouldn’t fall.
There was no more room on my neck for marks to show, thanks to Bryan.
Adam looked at me and his face softened, “Victoria are you ok?” He asked using my real name and not the nickname everyone called me.
I nodded and he walked over slowly and touched my hands that were still holding onto the scarf.
My hands tightened and his eyes went to my scarf.
“Why won’t you let me take it off for you Victoria?”
“I’m not tired anymore. I’m going to go for a walk. Thanks for carrying me up here. Bye Adam.” I said and walked past him before he could stop me.
I walked out of Tyler’s room and down the stairs and out the front door.
I couldn’t let him take my scarf off, he would tell Tyler and Tyler would tell my mom and then would go and hunt down Bryan who would just hurt Tyler.
I couldn’t let anyone get hurt because of me. Soon I ended up at the park where Tyler and I came when we were little.
I walked over to the bench and just laid my head down on the bench, I didn’t realize I was that tired until my eyes shut and I fell asleep.
-2 hours later-
I opened my eyes and stretched my body instead of feel cold metal under me I felt warm sheets. I sat up and realized I was laying in Bryan’s bed. My eyes opened wide and I started to panic. How the hell did I get here?
I got out of the bed and walked towards the door but then I heard footsteps coming towards the door so I ran over to the bed and got back under the covers and acted like I was sleeping again.
The door opened slightly and Bryan walked over to the bed and got under the covers with me and started to stroke my hair with his hand.
He was being so gentle.
“I’m so sorry I hurt you Victoria.” He never called me by my real name only when he meant he was truly serious. I slowly opened my eyes and looked up at him and smiled.
He smiled down at me and I picked up my head and laid it down on his lap and he put his arm on my back and rubbed it and continued to stroke my hair. Soon I fell back asleep. He was being too nice, it couldn’t be real.
“Vikky?!” “Vikky?!” I heard someone yelling my name.
I sat up slowly and felt the cold metal I felt when I fell asleep. I guess that was just a dream then.
I saw someone walking towards me holding a flashlight in their hands and soon they were running towards me. When the figure got close I realized it was Tyler and he looked upset.
“Adam said you left 2 hours ago Vikky, we’ve been looking for you since. Did you fall asleep on the bench?”
I nodded and he sighed then rubbed his face and sat down next to me, he put his jacket on me and I put my head on his shoulder.
“Vikky what’s going on? Adam told me you spazzed out when he tried taking your scarf off. What happened?”
I sighed and looked at him then started to take my scarf off.
Soon he lifted his flashlight and he saw the hickeys on my neck.
“What the fuck!?”
“Don’t tell my mom Ty, my mom will flip out and please do not go after him. He didn’t do it on purpose.”
“The hell he didn’t. You don’t leave those dark of hickeys if you don’t mean to Vikky. Why’d you let him do that Vikky?”
When he said this tears started to form and I got up from the bench and started to flip out.
“IT’S MY FUCKING BODY I’LL LET MY BOYFRIEND DO WHATEVER HE WANTS!” I said and stormed away from him. I needed to get away from this but of course we were 20 minutes away and it was 2am so no one was up expect for Bryan who I didn’t want to see that much right now. I started walking back to Tyler’s house when I got a text message.
Bryan: Hey babygirl you there?
Me: What Bryan?
Bryan: I’m so so sorry about last night Victoria. I don’t know what came over me, I shouldn’t have slapped you and I shouldn’t have forced you into anything. I’m so sorry.
Me: Bryan you hurt me a lot, I have hickeys all over my neck and bruises all over my body.
Bryan: I know I saw when I woke up reason I left I couldn’t bare to face you when you saw them.
Me: So you left so I wouldn’t be upset with you? After what you had done?
Bryan: I wasn’t thinking straight. Please Vikky forgive me. But if you can’t I’ll understand and I’ll never bother you again.
Me: We both know you wouldn’t do that.
Bryan: But I will I crossed the line, I messed up. If you want nothing to do with me I’ll understand.
Me: Come get me I’m at Ty’s.”
Bryan: Be there soon.
I closed my phone and walked back to Tyler’s house and grabbed my stuff. My mom was already asleep and so was everyone else so they wouldn’t realize I was gone until the morning.
I waited on the steps for Bryan and when he pulled up Tyler was walking towards the front door.
He saw Bryan get out of the car and come towards me and I saw how pissed Tyler was that Bryan was anywhere near me. Bryan picked up my bags and put them into the car and opened the door for me as I got in. Tyler shook his head and went into the house slamming the door behind him.
Bryan got into the car and kissed my cheek then drove away from the house. How could I not forgive him?