Chapter Seven: Clair de Lune
Seb brought me back to his room and sat me on the bed. He dragged his office chair over and took a seat in front of me. He didn’t look angry, but sometimes when people were quiet, it was worse.
“Serena,” he started tenderly, “Why did you run from me?”
I puffed out my cheeks, already becoming agitated. I then remembered that I had promised Cal I would try. “I was angry with you, I don’t like being controlled. You wanted to take away my only friend here.”
“Cal isn’t your friend,” Seb’s voice was hard.
“I don’t like to be controlled,” I repeated firmly. He leaned back and nodded, rubbing his strong jaw.
“I’m sorry, I’m used to taking control. I’ve been training to take control since I was a child. It may take some time to break the habit.”
I smiled, “As long as you try. I just want you to understand how I feel Seb, that’s all. I’m scared more than anything; you’ve placed a great burden on my shoulders. I’m lonely and homesick; I miss my pack and my sister. It has been a lot to take in, and I feel like you are always pressuring me.”
Seb’s eyes narrowed slightly, “I did not place the burden on your shoulders Serena, that was the Goddess.”
I gave him a flat look, “You haven’t tried to do anything about it.”
“That’s because I cannot. She’s the Goddess, what do you want me to do? Tap on her door and ask her a favour? Come on Serena, get real here.”
I felt my face heat up, “I want you to stop being such a jerk!” I screamed.
“I don’t like to be screamed at Serena.”
“I don’t like to be ordered around Sebastian,” I mocked his tone.
The muscles in Seb’s jaw twitched, “I am your superior in every way, I don’t want to fight Serena, but if we do I will win.”
I scoffed, “Do you enjoy being so arrogant?”
Sebastian pinched his nose, “Stop being so childish.”
“Childish? Me? You’re the one who threw a fork at your brother for talking to me! That’s childish!”
“You’re always whining,” Seb said harshly, “It’s irritating!”
I threw my hands up in the air, “I apologize sincerely for being kidnapped from my home to be dressed up and presented to you. Really, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be abducted and kept her against my will; I know it’s all my fault. Should I just accept that I am the mate to an egotistical and abusive jerkhead? I apologize for the inconvenience.”
Sebastian gave me a flat look, “I’m sorry, but all of that was necessary at the time. I had to get you here, this is where you belong.”
“Who are you to tell me where I belong and where I don’t?”
“I’m your mate, you were made for me,” he insisted.
I shook my head and smiled bitterly, “I thought I was made so I could fight the Black Luna and die.”
Sebastian shook his head, “You don’t understand, my hands are tied when it comes to this. I can’t fight a prophecy.”
“You haven’t even tried!” I yelled, “If you were a good mate you would think of a way to get me out of this! But you want me to fight don’t you? So you can have bragging rights.”
“You’re being absurd.”
I licked my lips, “Am I Sebastian? Tell me I’m wrong.”
I felt tears collect, “I hate you, you know that? You aren’t the only person who has lost someone okay!?”
Seb’s eyes were black in an instant. He turned to face me slowly, his eyes were smoldering. “What did you just say?”
I titled my chin up, “You aren’t the only one who has lost someone.”
“What are you talking about?” he demanded.
I took a deep breath and stared him in the eye, “I know about Morgan.” In an instant I was pushed up against the wall, his forearm against my throat. He snarled at me, rage clear in his features.
“Don’t you dare say her name,” he growled.
“I’ve lost people I loved too Sebastian,” I growled back. He was so blinded by pain and hatred he couldn’t see himself clearly. He snarled at me again and pressed my neck harder, causing me to cough.
“Stop it, stop talking about this. I won’t stand it.”
I felt my eyes water, “You haven’t even bothered to get to know me! Stop using Morgan as an excuse to be an ass!” I dug my nails into his arm, starting to lose breath.
“Shut up!” he snarled, “You don’t know anything!”
“I know she was murdered. I know you think it was Cal’s fault!” I screamed. His eyes flashed and suddenly I was on the ground. I rubbed my neck and coughed a few times before bringing my knees up to my chest.
“I’m sorry,” Sebastian muttered.
“No you’re not,” I said tiredly.
Seb looked shattered, “No, Serena you don’t understand—”
“Actually, I do,” I said bitterly. “My father was brutally murdered; he was torn apart for no reason but to assert dominance over our pack.”
Seb paled, “Serena I—”
I ignored him, “My mother died soon after, she killed herself. She couldn’t live without her mate. It was just me, my sister and my pack. And then you came along and ripped it all away. You want to know who murdered my Dad? The Alpha of the Black Luna pack did, his name is Daryn Reynolds; the Black Luna’s father. Do you understand why I am scared out of my mind now?”
Seb looked sick, “I didn’t know.”
“You didn’t ask, you didn’t care. I know what it’s like to lose someone unfairly. Morgan was young, ten right? She didn’t deserve to die, neither did my father. But they did, they’re gone. And to take it out on other people is wrong. You don’t get special rights because you’re hurting! Everybody hurts, that’s life. I didn’t know Morgan, but I’m sure she would not be happy with you.”
Sebastian dropped his head into his hands and backed up into a chair. He looked destroyed, he looked pale and sick. “I’m sorry. I’ve hurt you, I’m always hurting you. I didn’t want to be this way.”
I pursed my lips, “Then why are you?”
Sebastian rubbed his jaw, “I don’t know, maybe it was losing Morgan. Maybe it was being raised as a Prince. I can’t help who I am.”
“Cal told me that this isn’t who you are.”
Seb nodded, “I guess people change.”
“Why are you so bitter Sebastian?” my voice was pleading, desperate.
“Morgan,” his voice cracked and he cleared his throat, “I watched her die in front of me, so young, so full of promise. It was Cal’s fault; he brought that Ian kid to the castle. And then he left, and I realised that I was the only one left. I had to take the throne; I had to take care of all the werewolves in North America. I realised this at fourteen, how was I not going to become hard and bitter?”
I looked down, “That sounds awful, and you’ve been through a lot. But that doesn’t give you the right to treat people the way you do. Especially not me Sebastian, I’m your mate; I’m supposed to spend the rest of my life with you. But I’m not sure if I will make it a month, either you’ll snap and kill me by accident or I’ll run.”
Sebastian’s eyes filled with tears, shocking me. “I don’t mean to—you know hit you. I don’t mean it! I really don’t. I just get so angry, and my wolf gets angry. It just happens, and after I’m left shocked and repulsed at myself. I’m sorry Serena; I don’t want to hurt you.” Instantly images of Sebastian’s devastated expression after he hit me filled my mind. He was telling the truth, but that did not justify his actions.
“You have to get a hold of your anger if you want us to work. I can’t be with you if you continue to act this way. I’m sorry but that is the truth. I need you to give me some space. I feel suffocated and scared.”
Sebastian’s dark hair fell into his eyes as he lowered his head in shame. “I will try to give you space, it’s hard. The urge to mark you is hard to control. My wolf recognizes that he will be the next King, it makes him arrogant and strong. He’s controlling. It makes me controlling. I apologize. I want to try for you Serena.”
I felt my heart swell, “Thank you Sebastian. I will try not to push your buttons. Even though you’re face when you found out I destroyed all your things was priceless.” I started laughing and grew worried when Seb remained stony-faced but then he cracked up and laughed with me.
“That was honestly something I was not expecting. It’s part of what I like about you, you don’t respect me. You don’t obey my every word, although it’s extremely frustrating. It keeps everything interesting. You have no idea what it is like to grow up having people be afraid of you. The challenge is nice.”
I raised an eyebrow, “It couldn’t have been that bad.”
Seb shrugged, “Depends on your opinion I guess. I hated it. I didn’t like feeling like the bully. I guess that changed eh?”
I managed a weak smile, “Yeah, I guess. Why are you still mad at Cal? It wasn’t his fault, Ian could have chosen you to befriend.”
Sebastian shrugged, “I don’t know. He was never close to Morgan, they were eight years apart. I felt as though he never felt enough remorse, he didn’t hurt as much as I did. I know it wasn’t his fault. I’m partially mad at him for leaving, leaving me when I needed him, forcing the crown and all of that responsibility on me.”
“He does feel remorse. When he was telling me, he started sobbing. Just talking about it made him cry, we only spoke for a few minutes. He still feels guilt. He travelled trying to find peace, but he can’t that’s why he’s here. He loved his little sister and he loves you. He probably hurts more than you do.”
Sebastian looked thoughtful, “There is something about him that bothers me,” he said honestly, “I don’t know what it is exactly. Maybe it is that he is so calm and carefree while I’m so tightly wound and stressed. I should be carefree, it’s because of him that I have to take on so much responsibility.”
“You don’t want to be king?”
Seb shook his head, “No, of course not. All that pressure? Having to make decisions that will affect all werewolves? Having to deal first hand with the Moon Goddess? I’m scared out of my mind.” I was starting to get a feel of what was going through Seb’s head. “Anyway, that doesn’t matter. Tell me about you.”
I blew my bangs from my face, “There’s nothing to tell.”
Seb laughed, “Yeah, I’m sure. Seriously, what makes you tick?”
I shrugged, “Well, my father was murdered when I was young. My mother died soon after. My older sister Rayne took over for them and basically raised me, she kept me safe and fed and warm. She’s my hero—really. My pack is small, tiny in comparison to most. We lived in a tiny village, but they’re my family. I miss them, being here in the castle feels cold and lonely. We were all so close back home.”
A dark look passed his face, “I’m sorry, I really am. I wish I could bring them here. But we don’t allow strangers; for obvious reasons.”
I nodded, “Well, rules are rules. Although I understand them, I don’t like them.”
“What were your hobbies?” Seb asked.
I shrugged, “I haven’t shifted yet, so I used to watch the other wolves in the pack run around and play. I like music, I can play the piano.”
“I play the piano as well,” Seb shot me a breathtaking smile and I found myself smiling back. “Would you like to play?”
I nodded, “I’d love to.” Seb took my hand and led me away from his room. We walked through the castle and came to a large room I had never seen before. Everything was white except for a large, black grand piano sitting in the middle of the room.
Seb lead me towards it and pulled the bench out for me to sit down. He sat beside me and lifted the cover off of the keys and smiled at me. “What should I play?”
I smiled back at him, “Do you know Clair de Lune?”
“Ah, Debussy, of course I know it.” He took a deep breath before his fingers started to dance over the keys. He was far better than I was, the way he played reminded me of my mother. She was calm and confident, as if her fingers knew exactly what to do and she didn’t have to put any thought into it.
As the melody washed over me I couldn’t help but think of my mother. She used to play this song for Rayne and I when we were children. I felt a tear slip down my cheek and wiped at it hastily. The music stopped and Seb frowned at me.
I blinked a few times and sighed, “Nothing, I was just thinking about my Mom.” I grimaced and continued, “She used to play this song for me. It’s beautiful.” Seb nodded slowly and kept playing.
I closed my eyes enjoying the music and the comfort Seb provided me with. As I listened, I felt hope blossoming in my chest. Maybe we could make this work.