"Baby, there is no dark monster! Look you're a grown up kid now. Mumma has a business to deal with and who'll look after Charvi? You should be strong if you want to defeat the dark monster and that would only happen if you get proper sleep. So now be a good little boy of mumma and go to your bed!"
"Mumma please...",his cheeks were all wet with tears.
"Okay superman! Don't cry. Come here and give me a bear hug, come on",I sighed embracing my son close to my chest and walked towards his room. Placing him gently on his bed, I lied on the opposite holding a story book in my hand to make him sleep.
I'm literally exhausted and sleep deprived due to working continuosly 24/7. Sometimes I have to go on pills and medications and even on councelling to get a hold on my mental state...
"Mumma, you don't fear the dark monster?",my son asked out of the blue looking at me with an inquisitive gaze making a slight frown appear on my forehead.
"There is no dark monster Vivan! Enough of your watching and reading horror stuffs!!",I replied very roughly...
I was literally pissed because I haven't got proper sleep for the past few months. All thanks to his unreasonable fear and my workload.
"I've seen him mumma. He says that he likes Charvi because they look same same and he doesn't like me because I look like you! So he'll take Charvi away with him forever. He comes daily in my room at midnight and takes my babysister away from me and in the end, he digs the grounds and along with Charvi, he jumps into it and disappears. I fear if he'll come again today.."
"Shut up Vivan and sleep! I'm tired of you're over imagination. And where is your babysister?",I chided while tugging him into the comforter. He looked outside the room towards our garden which was dimly lit under the moonlight.
I hurriedly pulled over my white robe and walked outside towards my lawn where she was sitting on the Calabah with her back facing me and looking towards the endless strech of eternity.
"Charu, what're you doin' here honey? Mumma was calling you for so long. It's too cold outside. Let's go to bed", I replied worriedly looking at my beautiful daughter whose eyes were fixed on the dreary night sky.
Her ever so twinkling and sparkly orbs were growing gloomy and dull with each passing day and I wasn't able to do anything for my baby. I was a helpless mother. Afterall she was gradually realising that she was different from all of us. She was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) when she was only eighteen months old.
"Baby! Let's go inside...It's cold",I whispered hugging her cold skin from side. She slowly turned her face towards me that were stained with glossy tears...
Her state made my heart constrict painfully in my chest and I involuntarily groped her body against mine tightly into a protective embrace.
"Shh...Don't cry charvi! Mumma is here with you n? No one will tease you! Look honey if you'll keep crying, then I'll also cry...",a lone tear escaped my eyes...
"Where are you goin' Charvi? Charvi, wait!! Listen!!! Charvi!!!!",I shouted running behind my daughter who jumped out of my embrace and abruptly ran towards the backyard of our house which was filled with knee length dried grasses,heath and bushes covered with a layer of frost of gloomy winter.
"Charvi! Baby please...come back! It's darkness over here and there can be crawling insects and mosquitoes in there. You might get sick! Charvi, Are you listening to me?",I started getting the feeling of uneasiness when I saw a shadow leaning towards the fence and suddenly I saw Charvi too. She started getting closure to the shadow and...
"No!!! Charvi! Charvi!!!",she jumped out of the fence and instantly the shadow disappeared making my heart wreck painfully in my chest...
"Ms. Agrawal! Ms. Agrawal!! Are you fine?"
"Huh!! Sorry, I was a bit lost...yeah, I'm-I'm fine!!",I bit my lips nervously while wiping the sweat which appeared on my forehead.
"You sure?",Mrs. Lione asked with a slight frown on her forehead.
"Yeah... Actually the moment since I'm getting this repetitive terrible nightmares, my attention is abruptly diverted from my work. This whole surreal scenario always resonates in my head making me insomniac and terribly frustrated. And I always have this constant fear deep in my heart that what if it...if it actually turns out to be real? I mean it can be bec..."
"Relax Ms. Agrawal. Your nightmares has a deep connection with your past that you left in india itself and here you're safe because no one knows you or your past! The only thing that's disturbing you is your irrational fear that your own ex husband will harm your Kids which I don't think is true and if it is than also he won't be able to reach you...
Second thing is your workload! You work too much the entity week and I must suggest you to take a gap. Plan a vacation and enjoy your holidays with your kids without having any stress of work!
And third thing is your mentioning of taking pills and councelling in your dream. But you haven't done councelling before with me! Can you name your councellor about whom you think in your sleep?",she asked while scribbling something on her notebook.
"I-I don't remember! Am I mentally sick doctor?",I asked fiddling with my fingers nervously while looking carefully at her facial expressions.
"No Ms. Agrawal! You don't experience any auditory or visual hallucinations nor you daydream!",she replied letting out a small laugh,"Actually your nightmares has deep connection with your past, present, excessive work,stress, your unreasonable fear and your overprotectiveness for your kids specially your autistic daughter! I mean sometimes it's hard to fulfill the duty of a mother as well as a father at the same time and I must appreciate that you're really good in playing both the roles",she passed me a genuine smile and lifting herself from the couch, she finally said "I must recommend you to continue with your medications and start spending time on yourself. Start doing the things you like like pursuing your hobbies which will keep you distracted from the stress. And also think about planning a vacation with your kids. It'll help you cope up with your anxiety. We'll meet next week!",I smiled back while holding her palm in a firm handshake and dragged myself out of her cabin with a heavy heart...
"Daksh is missing you...he isn't eating his breakfast! When you'll come back bitch? I swear I'll dump your body in LA only... How if your lovely twins btw?"
A smile appeared on my face on seeing kavya's message.
"My twins are fine and missing you too. Vivan wanted to see Daksh really bad but I'm not free. I have a alot of pending work to do. After completing it, let's see if I plan to come to India! And how's your married life goin' on with sachith?"
"Ms. Agrawal!",I instantly froze feeling a large hand on my shoulder...
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