I couldn’t collect myself as I put on my jeans. I couldn’t pull myself together as I pulled my hoodie over my head. I couldn’t believe that this wasn’t only a damn dream as I slid into my sneakers.
I couldn’t understand why my demon did it, why he was willing to suffer Joey’s injuries for me. For a girl who wasn’t worth his forgiveness at all.
And I wasn’t expecting it from him.
I didn’t expect him to want to talk to me, because I wouldn’t want to talk to myself either. But I had to try, I had to tell him how sorry I was.
I grabbed my car keys lying on a chest of drawers and not thinking at all, I ran out of Jim´s house. The cold drops immediately touched my face, making me realize that it had started raining in meanwhile. But I didn’t care, I just covered my hair with the hood and kept running to my car.
Despite the thick rain and poor visibility, I drove faster than I should have. Despite of having no idea what I was going to tell him, I craved to see him.
It took me about ten seconds, perhaps nine and a half, to get from the parking lot to the patio of Lestrad´s mansion. To hide under its roof. But I was still soaking wet as if I had fallen into some lake. I didn’t care either. I truly didn’t as there was more important thing that scared me to death.
The house was too dark.
I couldn’t see any light, not even the slightest light which would hint that somebody was there. I cursed, I cursed too vulgarly, as I was forced to face the harsh reality. As I felt disappointment overwhelming my mind. But not because I obviously came in vain. But because the thought of not seeing him after three utterly excruciating days almost brought me to my knees.
I reached for my jeans pocket to pull my phone out of it, I wanted to try to call him once again. And then another curse flew out of my mouth when I found out that the damn thing was still lying on the charger in my room. Everything was wrong, everything seemed to be absolutely hopeless.
Before the saving thought hit me in the head.
“Um, Eric …,” I cleared my throat.
Yes, I got used to the fact that my demon wasn’t quite normal. Yet I still felt weird talking to myself. “I’m standing on the patio at your place. If you can hear me or if you’re here somewhere… Could I please talk to you? Please.”
My gaze fell upon the rattan lounge situated on my left side. For a brief moment, I considered sitting there and waiting for him to come home. But then I just shook my head at my own stupidity. Cause´ I was wet, and I was starting to feel pretty cold. Not to mention March which ruled the weather outside.
I wanted to give up when I got no answer. I was about to leave when the door opened and then a light from the kitchen illuminated me.
“Lara, honey, are you here?” Tamara peered out. She conjured a smile when she saw me, and yes, I admit, it calmed my suddenly quite wildly pounding heart.
“My brother called me,” she told me. “He said you’re standing outside and not responding his phone calls.”
“I forgot my phone at home,” I was quick to explain as I needed to redirect the topic straight to the point. “So, he’s not home?”
My last hope died when Tammy shook her head. “No,” she said fulfilling my worst nightmare. “Actually, you´re pretty lucky. I was about to leave too. I was already sitting in my car when he reached me.”
Only then did I realize that the sister of my secret love wore a jacket and high heels boots. And I was most probably ruining her plans right now.
“I have strict orders to make you wait for him in his room. He´s on his way home.”
And just like that, my hope returned.
Along with my madly beating heart.
“Okay,” I exhaled suddenly too stiffened. “Thanks.”
She let me in, I entered their house and I swear, my thoughts got tangled even more. Out of the blue, now, when I knew I would meet him, I was totally confused and still not sure what I wanted to tell him. And he wasn’t even there yet.
My gosh, girl!
You NEED to apologize!
“Would you mind if I leave?” Tamara brought me back to reality. “Or should I wait here with you?”
Okay, maybe I reacted too exaggerated but, in my defense, I longed to be alone. I seriously needed to prepare myself for facing him after what I´d told him on Friday afternoon. “I won’t get lost, I promise. Don’t worry about me.”
She burst out laughing, I listened to her cheerful chuckling as I ran upstairs. And not stopping, I turned right, walked down a hallway only to approach that one door.
It hit me hard.
His kingdom, my demon´s room, all the memories I had of this place. Nothing had changed. Everything here belonged to him, everything smelled of him. His king-sized bed and the plaque with two swords above it. His extremely comfortable sofa luring me to lay down on it. My portrait was still hanging on the wall near…
Wait a second…
I didn’t suppress, I couldn’t suppress the urge to light it up as the idea of fire seemed too tempting at that moment. I remembered how he´d done it the last time I was with him. And indeed, it didn’t take me long to bring those flames to life.
I threw myself heavily on the sofa, I just kept staring into the fire and enjoyed the warm, radiating from it. I wished I could say it calmed me down but no. I wasn’t able to sit still. To breathe properly.
I was nervous, I was terribly nervous. The more time passed, the more stiffened I felt. It was my demon I was waiting for, the one who had held me in his arms countless times. Still, I was scared. I was afraid of his reaction.
I was afraid he wouldn’t want to talk to me.
I was afraid he wouldn’t accept my apology.
I was afraid he wouldn’t even look at me.
I was terribly afraid that he really wouldn’t want to have anything to do with me anymore.
I couldn’t stand it.
The playful flames were the most beautiful thing I could look at, but the sound of the drumming drops won. They were luring me, their song literally bewitched me. I was enticed by the cold of the night, by the smell of rain, and I didn’t even know how, I found myself standing on the terrasse of his room, letting the drops caress my face again.
There was peace, I swear I felt it filling my veins slowly. And maybe I would have finally put myself together if the strange bang I heard hadn’t totally disconcerted me. I jerked, turning to its source only to spot my demon jumping down from the roof.
Should it have thrown me off balance?
Yes, it definitely should have.
But suddenly, he was there, he straightened up, he was standing right in front of me. Out of the blue, after three days, I faced him.
“Princess,” he fixed his piercing eyes on me, “what are you doing here?”
He was perhaps even wetter than I was. The way his gray sweatshirt and jeans clung to his body made me breathe as fast as my heart was pounding. Raindrops trickled down his face like thousands of tears while he was watching me patiently, waiting for my answer. Damn, he was so fucking beautiful at that moment that it really took me a little, and maybe a longer while to collect myself and realize the meaning of his question.
I didn’t expect him to be happy to see me.
“I’m sorry, I don’t want to bother you,” I tried to apologize as soon as possible, or at least before he sent me away. “I just …”
I got stuck, I fell silent when he frowned. My whole vocabulary was erased from my brain when he squeezed his eyebrows together like that.
And then I stopped understanding at all when he released the tension in his face, and I saw an absolutely stunning smile that his lips spread into.
“Dove, you’ve never bothered me. Get that thought out of your pretty little head,” he said softly. “I didn’t mean why you´ve came. I´m asking what you’re doing here, on the terrace. Standing in the rain. You will catch a cold.”
Is he worried about my health right now?
Can somebody just pinch me, please?
I mean, he was my demon. It wasn’t the first time, nor the second time, nor the twentieth. He´d always taken care of me. But I was a bitch, I said quite nasty things to him.
And he… Not taking his mesmerizing eyes off me, he was still smiling at me magically.
Despite the weather outside, I swear I felt something warm filling my chest. And I couldn’t help it, I smiled as well.
“I will never get enough of you smiling,” he spoke softly and that was the last thing I needed to hear in order to stop suppressing that insatiable urge.
Without further hesitation, I shortened the distance between us just to jump on him. To wrap my arms around his neck. And it was a bit of tears that mixed with the rain on my face. “Thank you, Eric,” I sobbed, “thank you so much for Joel.”
And my demon didn’t hesitate either, he pulled me into his arms, he trapped me in an iron embrace only to force me to understand.
This was everything I´d missed all weekend.
This was all I had ever missed.
“You´re very welcome, Babygirl,” he whispered into my hair. “You know, I´d do anything for you, don’t you?”
Was he really willing to fly across two states just to help my friend?
Did he really persuade Will to go with him?
No remorse? No anger? Nothing?
How come he wasn’t mad at me?
But my demon only placed his fingers under my chin to make me look up at him. He searched for something in my eyes, and I had the impression that he must have seen only a silent adoration there.
“I know Jim´s gone,” those lively sparkles lighted up his gaze. “You’re staying with me.”
I burst out laughing, his whole incomprehensible reaction made me laugh heartily. And the mere thought of staying in his arms whole night exhorted my heart to sing with pure happiness.
My heart which suddenly started collapsing as he bent down to me and gently pressed his lips to my forehead. It felt like heaven. Like I just returned home.
“Come inside, Dove,” he truly begged, I recognized the plea in his voice. “I mean it dead serious. I´ll be upset if you catch a cold.”
I didn’t go.
I took that one step, the second, the third, I followed him back into his room. But as soon as his hand left me, the confusion overpowered me again and I stopped, not able to move forward. I noticed his smile when he saw the fire burning in the fireplace. Just before he disappeared from my sight, and I stayed alone.
I felt happy, I swear I felt relief filling my lungs. Yet, the strange nervousness returned. The thought of being alone with him made my whole body shiver. The thing between us, everything between us seemed too complicated to me. There were kisses he´d stolen from me last week. Damn, I let him touch me. And now, I had no idea how to behave, how to act toward him.
We didn’t talk since Friday, and my demon pretended that our fight hadn’t happened at all. Should I then insist that we finally have the talk? I wanted him to figure out what he wanted. But I didn’t want him to break my heart again during the whole process.
I don’t know, I kind of had that feeling that I should go home. That that was the most reasonable thing I could do. Every single nerve in my body urged me to make up an excuse and simply run away. However, there was that one problem left. It was simply impossible to walk away from him.
I loved him so much I could go crazy.
I loved him so damn much I could die.
The melody, I heard it, I heard short couple of tones that was stuck somewhere deep in my head. I couldn’t get it off my mind, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. And what bothered me the most, I couldn’t remember where I´d heard it.
I was staring at the treetop in front of me. But even though my attempt to remember was literally destroying me, my brain was only able to perceive the slightly shaking leaves under the onslaught of rain that had calmed down in the meantime. Nothing more about that song.
And then those firm arms wrapped around my belly from behind me.
“Princess,” I heard him say, “I’m seriously worried about your health. You´ve been standing here for too long. Please, come inside with me.”
Hot embrace, my naked skin pressed against his chest. I didn’t feel so sick anymore. I´d thrown up all the booze and I only wanted to sleep. I wanted to sleep so badly. His hand in my hair, stroking me. His voice, talking to me. The dream he gave me.
Moi je n’étais rien, Mais voilà qu’aujourd’hui, Je suis le gardien, Du sommeil de ses nuits…
“The song…” I stuttered, exhaling heavily. “The night I drank too much at Bill´s and you stayed with me. You gave me the dream about the cliff. That song… What did you sing to me back then?”
And my demon´s grasp tightened.
“Do you remember it?” I recognized the surprise in his voice.
“Poorly,” I admitted. In fact, I couldn’t tell whether he’d let me dream about it, or whether he´d really sung it to me like a lullaby.
I wanted, I longed for him to remind it to me, to fill the hole in my memory. The goosebumps almost made me shudder as he pulled me closer as he leaned his face against my cheek. His breath tickled my neck, forcing millions of ants to run frantically down my spine. And then he made me remember.
„Moi je n’étais rien, Mais voilà qu’aujourd’hui, Je suis le gardien, Du sommeil de ses nuits, Je l’aime à mourir…”
I swallowed dryly. The words sounding in my head, I might have stopped breathing as I began to understand their meaning.
“I used to be nothing, but here I am now, watching over the sleep of her nights. I love her so much I could die…”
His voice eroded my every determination to stay away from him, echoed through me, settled in all the pieces of my body that led to my heart.
“You can destroy anything you want; she only needs to open the span of her arms to rebuild everything. I love her so much I could die…”
Raindrops kept falling from his hair onto my neck, his fingers dug into my hoodie as he was holding me close to him. My back leaned against his chest; I felt the weight of his face on my shoulder. Just his arms surrounding me.
“She’s erased the numbers on the clocks around here. She’s built bridges between us and heaven, and we go across them each time she doesn’t want to sleep. I love her so much I could die…”
His deep voice tangled into the sound of the spring rain. Tree leaves dancing to the rhythm. Drops caressing every millimeter of our faces. Dark sky crying above us. Quiet late Sunday evening. Only me and him, standing in a puddle of water.
“I just have to sit down, I must not speak, I must wish for nothing but simply endeavor to belong to her. To be hers. I love her so much I could die…”
I couldn’t breathe properly when his whisper stopped. I could only listen to his calm breathing. I could only try to imitate him.
Surprisingly, the thing under my ribs pounded slowly. I tilted my face in the direction my heart was inclined to just to look him in the eye. Just to see the whole song written in their shine. Every single word was reflected in his gaze.
“You know…,” I suddenly didn’t feel firm soil under my feet anymore. Suddenly, I was drowning. “That song is beautiful.”
“I know,” he laughed softly, kissing me gently on my hair. “And now, Princess, either you come inside voluntarily or I´ll fling you over my shoulder and carry you. You need to change. And take a hot shower.”
His body left me again and I was suddenly cold. Too cold to bear. Slowly, and maybe a little reluctantly, I followed him.
However, I didn’t really take the first step when he stopped before entering his room. He turned to me again and fixed his piercing eyes on me. He stabbed me with his gaze too intensely to make me stiffen. I had no idea what that supposed to mean, what had crossed his mind, but I was sure he was studying me. As if he needed to read me.
“Dove,” he addressed me as he took two steps back to me, still leaving enough distance between us not to notice how hard I had to struggle not to tremble.
“Do you remember what you told me then? Right after I sang that song to you?”
I didn’t want to; I so badly didn’t want to remember. But of course, this time, the forgotten words came to my mind, and I closed my eyes.
“You said…” Even though I wished he would remain silent, he said it aloud instead of me: “Eric, I’d love to kiss you right now, but I threw up. And I´m scared you would never want to kiss me again and I …”
“And I would die without your kisses cause´ my lips are forever yours,” I finished it quietly. “And you laughed and kissed my forehead instead.
I didn’t have the courage to look up at him again, but my body betrayed me. I didn’t want to face him, but willy-nilly, I did. And the fire I saw in his eyes almost burned me to the ground. Standing captured in the middle of its flames, I wasn’t able to suppress the shivering anymore.
“Did you mean it?” He asked, only this one question drowning out the sound of rain.
Yes, I did.
“Lara?” He quietly asked me to answer as if he didn’t know how disconcerted I felt right now.
My gaze dropped to the puddle which was forming beneath my feet. But it wasn’t the water in my shoes that bothered me. It wasn’t even my icy toes. Suddenly, I felt like I was able to endure everything, anything in the world, but not the attention of his hypnotizing eyes.
I was capable of nothing.
Neither lying nor trying to weasel out of it somehow.
Not even of saying something.
“Why don’t you look at me?” His voice became hard and urgent. “Why are you shivering?”
I tried to comply him, I finally looked at him, but it probably did more harm than helped me somehow. Because he saw, I knew he recognized my confusion and my inner struggle.
“I’m cold,” I gave him his answer weakly.
And it took him three seconds. His uncompromising look faded, he narrowed his eyes at me and raised the corner of his mouth into a crooked smile, making me understand that he didn’t believe me.
I would swear he was trying to figure out what was going through my head. And I was grateful, so grateful, that he couldn’t read my mind. That he couldn’t see the mess that dominated my thoughts. My insecurity, all my utter failure.
And only then when something in his eyes softened and he exhaled heavily, did I realize that he gave up the fight with me. That he wouldn’t torture me anymore.
I was wrong.
He gave up the fight with himself.
He stepped forward, hastily enough to make me jerk. He bridged the distance between us not even giving me time to gasp for air. His hands cupped my face, I was dragged to him until his lips passionately hit mine. Until he pressed the heat of his mouth against my mouth.
And I wanted to yell.
My heart started to race again, and I stiffened. With each beat, it pumped blood into my blood vessels at the light speed. With every single beat, the pounding thing under my ribs screamed at me how much I loved that boy.
I couldn’t hold it anymore, the intensity of his touch crept into every cell of my body. And as soon as that overpowering feeling reached my brain, I opened my mouth for him. I completely relaxed.
He licked my lower lip with his tongue, then bit it gently. It made me lose control, and in response to my shivering, my demon growled into my mouth.
He pulled away from me, forcing me to suffer from a sudden lack of his kisses. And there was something decisive in his eyes when he fixed them on me.
“I´m done with this bullshit, Lara,” he muttered. “Say what you want, keep running away if you want, but you´re mine. You are mine.”
Yes, there was a steadfast determination written all over his face, but I didn’t protest. Instead, I dug my fingers into his hair and pulled him back to my lips.
Because he was right.
I was his.
I loved his soft kisses which hinted how his lips might taste at that moment. They were like a flare or a shooting star that I´d never managed to make a wish upon. I could have always just perceived those few seconds and then kept looking up at the sky, desperately wishing for another to come.
I loved his tender kisses when he confused my head only with his mouth. When he marked my lips and made those heavy sighs accumulate in my lungs. When his tongue intertwining with mine, made me pull myself closer to him. When I couldn’t fight the urge to take more of him. When I wished he wouldn’t refuse any of that what I was giving him.
But the way my demon was kissing me on the verge of his self-restrain totally blew my mind.
Because he simply knew it.
How to control, how to subdue.
As if he knew my every breath, my every unspoken wish, every caress that had ever made me long to be touched. With the mere touch of his lips, he was able to present it all to me, to offer it to me. With our single connection, he pulled all the desires I had ever felt out of me. And in that one moment he fulfilled them to me.
As if he knew my body perfectly, as if he knew how exactly I would react. As if our lips never to be apart was everything he´d ever craved for. As if he had to have me immediately.
When he kissed me like that, when he kissed me the way he was kissing me right now, every part of me were dying for him. Every fucking part of me responded to his passion with the same lust.
He lifted me up and I didn’t hesitate to wrap my legs around his hips. Suddenly, there was no rain anymore, no dark of the night. Suddenly, I was standing back on my feet in the middle of his kingdom.
All of a sudden, his hands were holding the hem of my sweatshirt, pulling it along with my tank top over my head. His T-shirt followed, it disappeared somewhere in the corner of his room.
I couldn’t stop my hands anymore, not when they literally needed to touch him. It was making me damn crazy to feel his broad shoulders again when he made me bump against his bare chest.
The urgency of his kisses almost brought me to my knees. But even though he almost swallowed me, it was still not enough for me.
I truly was screaming inwardly when he squeezed my butt when he pressed me to his hard crotch. And my demon didn’t suffocate a growl as his fingers found the button of my jeans. Without any further hesitation, he unfastened it.
And I must have died just to find myself somewhere in the abyss between Hell and Heaven, as he slid his palm down over my lower belly to the hem of my panties.
And I guess it was Hell he sent me to when he got stuck.
He cursed, he cursed even more vulgarly than I did, having no idea that all my hormones were listening to him. He grabbed my hand only to drag me behind him like a little girl. I didn’t understand, I didn’t get it at all until he pulled one of his T-shirts out of his wardrobe, gave it to me and redirected me to his bathroom.
“You. Shower. Now! Hot …, anything hot …,” he was breathing heavily. Goddammit, I had never seen him catching his breath so heavily before. Too heavily to find the right, meaningful words. “Fuck, Lara! Stop looking at me like that…!”
He jerked; I saw failing self-control in the whole posture of his divine body. He took one step toward me, holy crap, this was pure torture when he withdrew again right after that, closing his glowing eyes and clenching his fists.
“Lock yourself,” he growled, he ordered.
And he was gone.
It took me few minutes… Damn no! I needed the whole era to put myself together. The hot water I let streaming on my body helped me relieve the tension dominating my body. Yet I had to take a deep breath as I put on his T-shirt and reached for the door handle.
I saw him right away. He was sitting on the floor in front of the fireplace. He was leaning with his back against the sofa, and I wasn’t sure whether he knew that wearing only shorts wasn’t really a good idea.
But in a huge contrast to the last time, I stared into his eyes, there was peace, engulfing calm radiating from him. And I couldn’t decide whether it was good or bad.
Only when he looked at me and reached his hand out to me, did I notice that he´d laid a duvet along with pillows on the floor so we could sit on something soft a watch the fire.
However, I wanted to look at him. Exclusively at him. I accepted his hand and sat down as close to him as possible. His demonic fragrance immediately surrounded me, and I simply longed to lean my face against his neck and never stop breathing.
He smiled at me as I turned to face him, there was really nothing of his previous lust left in him. All I was staring into right now was tenderness that completely filled the deep brown of his eyes.
“Why did you do that?” I asked as I had to know. “How did you persuade Will to go with you?”
He smiled even more; the corners of his lips spread into a beautiful smile as he stroked my wet hair.
“Family sticks together, right? That’s what it’s supposed to be about. I needed him, he’s a doctor, he had my back. It would have been weird if Joel had recovered only after my visit. It would have attracted too much attention. Now, it looks like a doctor helped him. Although I’m very sorry, Dove, I couldn’t heal all of his injuries as the whole situation would be too unbelievable then. I only took the really bad ones, but he´s gonna be alright. I promise.”
I had to try hard, I had to make a colossal effort to prevent those tears from starting to fall down my cheeks again.
“Why did you do that?” I asked again when he didn’t answer this part.
For a girl who treated you like an exemplary bitch?
“Because Joel is important to you,” he exhaled, looking me in the eye. “And you’re important to me.”
I couldn’t bear his gaze, the sincerity, and the concern he revealed to me. In an instant, I was unable to bear my own conscience.
“Yell at me,” I muttered, I begged forcing him to raise his eyebrows. “Tell me you’re mad at me, that I don’t deserve you …“
His hands silenced me when they hugged my face. I felt him pulling me closer and at that moment I didn’t care anymore. I didn’t care whether it was appropriate or not, I lifted myself up only to sit on his lap, only to straddle him.
“Princess,” he whispered, “you didn’t really mean anything you said. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be here. And I understand. After what happened to Joel, you had right to burst out. And yes, there was also truth in your words. You´ve trusted me for the last six months, you´ve trusted me even after I screwed up. You have nothing to regret. You have nothing to apologize for. And I don’t care. You’re here with me and that´s all that matters to me.”
Did he mean this?
He focused his eyes on me, I swear the deep brown looked even deeper as he was watching me. Maybe he was studying me, maybe he was guessing how I would react, but then he pressed his lips to mine anyway. A soft kiss of his and yet, the foundations of my existence started to tremble.
“Just promise me, Lara,” he leaned his forehead against mine, “please, promise me that you won’t give up on me.”
The flames burning in the fireplace reflected in his irises, they were dancing there creating the most mesmerizing luster I´d ever seen. And with that begging expression, he suddenly looked so terribly vulnerable. I swear, he’d never been closer to me before.
It struck me, his request, his plea, touched me. Because instead of doing things in his own demonic way, he was really afraid of losing me.
“I swear,” I whispered into his mouth before I tasted it. I rejoined our lips cause´ that was all I desired to do. Cause´ my lips were truly his forever.
He deepened the kiss, letting me moan as he intertwined his tongue with mine. He let me surrender and offer him my will to breathe as he sucked my lip into his mouth.
I couldn’t stand it anymore.
It was me now who couldn’t control herself and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. I ran my fingers through his hair, but I couldn’t bear the desire growing inside me. It completely swept me over, and I moved my palms to his naked chest, to the lines of his firm muscles.
He didn’t mind, my demon didn’t protest at all. No, I would bet that he was enjoying it as well. However, something in my mind was silently telling me that the fun was over. I was too vividly aware of my fingers tasting his skin.
And he followed my example.
He kissed me, as if trying to engrave every detail into his memory. He kept caressing my lips as his hands slid under the T-shirt I was wearing. And when he stroked my back, my body responded with shaking.
“I just have to sit down, I must not speak,” he whispered a piece of that beautiful song as his fingertips tickled bare skin of my waist, as he carefully let them roam higher. He was breathing into my face, and I was dying for his lips.
“I must wish for nothing, but simply endeavor,” he muttered. His hands were fondling my belly as if it was the softest thing, he´d ever touched. I perceived every inch of the track his fingers were running through, slowly heading up. And I was dying for his touch.
“To belong to her, to be hers,” he exhaled softly, pressing his lips to my neck. Forcing me to dig my fingernails into his tense biceps as I felt his hands touching my breasts. The heat radiating from him, the heat filling me inside, his breath accelerated, and I could die for love.
I let it out.
Everything he made me feel at that moment, everything he was doing with me, I wasn’t suppressing the response of my body anymore. I arched back, giving him space to suck my nipple through the fucking T-shirt. I moaned loudly; I pressed my crotch against his hard on.
There were five things I was able to perceive in my haze.
The T-shirt that disappeared from my body.
His hands grabbing my butt as he lifted me.
My back touched the duvet as he laid me on it.
His body which completely surrounded me.
His lips which covered my mouth. Which threw me back into my Heaven-Hell abyss. But this time, I needed to stay there.
It seemed to be impossible to endure, I couldn’t stand it any longer, he was torturing me when he just let his fingers loiter over my body. Damn, my demon must have known how much it was torturing me. And I would swear he was enjoying it.
My heart cramped, it completely stopped obeying me when he kicked the shorts off him as if he couldn’t bear it on his body even for a second longer. And all that divided us now was the delicate fabric of my panties.
He kept tasting my lips as he ran his hand down my hip to my thigh, making me lose the last bit of my self-control. I shivered and then I shivered once more when his fingers touched the last covered part of my body. I almost begged and then I had to try hard not to moan again as his fingers tangled into the lace and he ripped it off me.
And then he looked at me.
Ten thousand of feelings flashed through my mind, yet none of them was as perfect as feeling his body shielding me. Feeling my demon lying between my thighs. In his arms, I forgot all the nightmares that had ever bothered me.
He kissed me again, he pressed his lips to mine, just to separate them straightaway. He cupped my face with his hands forcing me to look him in the eye. There was intense desire burning there but I also recognized one more thing. An uncertainty. My hellishly hot envoy was truly insecure. As if he was expecting me to stop him or to run away. As if he was worried, he could hurt me again. As if he needed to make sure that this was really what I wanted.
I lifted myself up on my elbows, searching for his mouth. I kissed him as tenderly as I could have, feeling his whole body calming down. He understood me, I knew he did. He understood that I wanted him.
He breathed shallowly forcing me to go insane. He leaned his forehead against mine, not taking his eyes off me. And something in his gaze had the power to make me understand that my life didn’t start until the day I met him.
His lips touched my mouth lightly, gently, tenderly, as if I were just a dream that could easily fade. I closed my eyes and he slid slowly into me.
A cramp ran through my body, and both of our moans merged into one, just as the two of us did. His breathing was suddenly stuttered, and I dug my fingers into his arms as I needed to get used to him. It took me few seconds to catch my breath, to be able to open my eyes again.
He was still looking at me, he kept watching me, he was studying me in detail. But there was fear I found in his gaze now. I guess, my demon was afraid that it ached.
He wasn’t that far from the truth as it had been a while since someone had touched me like that. But this was my demon, and by no means did I want him to divide our bodies again.
“Don’t stop,” I shook my head and passed my regained breath onto his mouth. If my kisses could be the ones that would convince him, I was determined to never stop kissing him. I had him and I never wanted to let him go again.
I closed my eyes again, his too piercing gaze suddenly seemed unbearable to me. But his thumbs softly run through my cheeks as he begged whispering: “Dove, look at me.”
I complied him, I faced him only to get lost all over again.
His chest kept rising against mine, there couldn’t be something more phenomenal than to feel his bare skin touching mine.
Or yes… It could be.
When he softly bumped against me, filling me perfectly.
My demon didn’t stop, instead he imprisoned me in his eyes, in his arms, and led me reliably straight through the abyss to Heaven.
Or Hell, I don’t know, I’d go anywhere with him.
The liquid lava that the cramp had changed into as he released me and filled me again, spilled into my blood vessels, forcing me to moan into his mouth. The boiling fluid filled every cell of my body as he rocked against me. His breath became shallow, the muscles of his back tensed when he dived into me. There was an irrepressible desire shining from his eyes when he sank into me.
I wanted to laugh, I wanted to cry right after that. I wanted to scream and then I just needed to suck air into my lungs. He was in me, he was a part of me, now in every way. There was absolutely nothing of me that wouldn’t belong to him.
And I loved that feeling.
He ran his nose gently through my cheek only to end his pilgrimage with the hot kiss at my lips as he slammed against me again. He tasted my neck and the path to my shoulder with his tongue as he did it again. He forced me to clench the duvet with my both fists and squeeze it with all my might to compensate for the tension he was building inside me as he kept repeating the tantalizing rhythmic movements.
“Larissa,” he mumbled my name as if it was the last thing that could save him. And yes, there was a desperate need his body was reflecting. However, I could swear I also recognized an emotion.
His hands found mine, he entwined our fingers just exactly as he entwined our lips. He appropriated every my breath, every response of my body. My moans belonged to him, my mouth belonged to him, everything he asked for belonged to him. Everything he touched was his.
He played with me. My demon played me just as a virtuoso can play the violin, making me get all the desires I had ever suffocated out of me. He crept into my thoughts, he conquered my heart, my demon controlled all of me. And in his arms, I completely fell apart.
Suddenly, uncontrollably, it was just too intense feeling for me to stop it.
He wrapped his arms around me tightly as soon as the euphoric explosion swept through my whole body. I passed it on him as he tensed, rocked against me one more time and with a heavy exhalation he gripped me even tighter. His lips found mine and I felt a spasm pass through him as well.
And then, then he almost suffocated me when he relaxed completely and fell on me with all his weight.
“Damn, Lara,” he said. He was breathing too hard, too deep now, and I felt exactly the same. I wanted to tell him something, I wanted to tell him anything, but it was just a muffled sigh that came out of me.
He laughed, lifting himself up on his elbows again. He allowed me to take a deep breath finally, but it was pointless, it was. My breath was immediately taken away from me as I spotted his beautiful smile. Holy crap, my demon was suddenly shining with cheerfulness.
He stroked my hair, returning his forehead to mine. He caressed my lips with his mouth as he muttered softly: “I’m sorry, Angel, I forgot how fragile you are.”
I jerked a little bit upon hearing the nickname. There were times when I hated it. But now I couldn’t help but laugh as he burst out laughing even more, watching my whole reaction.
“Why did you call me that?” I asked straight away.
“Because you were like an angel sent from my personal Hell to torture me,” he kissed my nose, ignoring my raising eyebrows. “To remind me of all of my sins. To keep reminding me that I will never deserve you.”
It ached, hearing him say something like that. And maybe my reaction was simply automatic. “That´s not true,” I vehemently shook my head. “After all, you were right. I am yours.”
I could watch it in detail. I saw the emotion growing in his eyes. He didn’t say anything, I had the impression as if he was lost for words. But the way his lips hugged mine told me everything for him.
“The school party still stands,” he bit my ear. “And I’m still taking you out for a date.”
I couldn’t hold it, I burst into a loud guffaw. Cause´ he was so cute when he sounded so determined. And a little possessive.
“Damn! You bet, you’re taking me on a date after this!”
His lips spread into a bewitching wry smile, and then a tender kiss landed on my forehead. “I´m gonna take you out for like millions of dates, Dove. Just so you know.”
I failed to suppress another fit of giggles, I failed to suppress the outburst of happiness. And my demon slid aside, leaving my body. But he immediately wrapped his arms around my belly, as if he couldn’t bear our separation. He hid me again in his hot embrace, and feeling his calm breath on my neck, I was missing nothing.
And it felt fucking good.
His tongue, drawing circles on my bare shoulder. His soft growl every time I tried to pull away from him because yes, it tickled. My constant bursts of laughter when he realized that I was ticklish, and he urgently needed to find out where.
No more words needed to be said. I was fully satisfied with those roguish sparks in his eyes and his crooked smile every time he thought of another way to torture me. Oh, he was good, he was damn good at it, I always shrieked when he discovered another spot on my body that was extremely sensitive to his fingers.
My attempts to run away from him constantly ended up with my back pressed against his chest. He bit my ear as punishment, that I even tried to put distance between us.
Stolen kisses, his scent mixed with mine, soft duvets I could snuggle up to. The fire that still crackled in the fireplace, the warmth of his body.
His damn gorgeous body!
The lines his fingers left on my back, which I perceived only marginally as the sleep slowly engulfed me. Just as I was. Naked in his arms. Belonging to my demon completely.
The original song (Je l’aime à mourir) belongs to Francis Cabrel. But as far as performance, I like Shakira´s version more.