I froze, I petrified, perceiving only my wildly beating heart. Because it was my heart which notice it as first. Right before my treacherous brain understood it too.
Those hands disappeared from my body, his firm chest vanished, I was no longer hidden in his arms. I immediately turned around as I needed to meet his gaze.
But my demon was gone.
I didn’t understand it, damn, I totally didn’t get how he could have left like this. However, it didn’t matter at all, I didn’t care at the moment. I immediately started to run as I had to find him.
I grabbed my phone, trying my best to ignore the bad premonition that had overwhelmed me. My hands were shaking, I was shaking. And I probably had to look awful as Jessica stood in my way.
“Lara, are you okay?” I heard the worry in her voice.
No, Jess, no. I’m not!
And I can’t talk to you right now!
“I’m looking for Eric,” I said in a hurry.
“Did something happen between you?” The girl narrowed her gaze at me. “I just saw him ditching the school.”
I swear, I felt it. The gallons of boiling water she had poured on me saying those words. I swear I felt my skin burning.
All my thoughts, all my remaining rational thinking faded away and those gallons of boiling water turned into anger. I couldn’t control it; I couldn’t stop it from overpowering me. Instead of another class, I headed to the parking lot.
Because he said it, he really said he loved me. And then he ran away from me.
Because for so long, I’d been longing for him to realize how he felt about me and now, he wanted to take it from me.
Because of those absolutely stupid reasons, he wanted to throw our chance away.
Because I didn’t mean to give up on him while he was hoisting a white flag.
Because he told me he loved me and didn’t let me tell him the same thing.
Because he loved me and didn’t let me love him back.
Because he decided it for both of us.
Without any remorse, I exceeded the speed limit, I drove faster than I should have. I guess I left the car door open after I parked in front of their palace. Without an invitation, I entered the house, and run upstairs straight to his room.
And then it stopped me.
“Eric, please don’t do this,” his sister begged. Sufficiently enough to break my heart. “You can’t leave now! You can’t just throw it all away. Not when there´s finally a girl you really care about!”
She took the words right out of my mouth, she said it all for me. And I just wanted to join her, just to open the fucking door and took her side.
“That’s exactly why I had to do this, Tammy,” my demon’s tortured voice replied to her. “Don’t you get it? Because I care about her, I can’t fuck her life up.”
I heard a bang, and it was a heavy exhalation of his sister that broke the silence between them: “Eric, please…”
“What can I offer her, huh?” he immediately interrupted her. “Just look at me! Who I am, who I have become! Should I ruin her life or be her momentary affair before she understands that she’s not going to have a future with me?”
Damn stubbornness of demons!
I didn’t wait any longer, I couldn’t wait, this was unbearable. Without knocking, without any warning, I rushed into his room. I surprised them both, I could tell that as soon as they looked at me. And I didn’t care.
At that moment, I fucked some politeness off.
“Tamara, please, leave us.”
I refused to waste my time with unnecessary bullshit, because there were so many things, I needed to haul him over the coals for.
I didn’t look at her. I didn’t look at Tamara, even when I asked her to give me a moment alone with her brother. I didn’t pay attention to her when she silently complied to me and left. No, I focused my angry gaze exclusively on Eric.
The despair grew exponentially in his eyes, and he pressed his lips together, as if admitting his own guilt. And maybe I would have been sorry for him if he had planned to include me in his decision-making. Because yes, hell, this was about both of us!
I closed the door behind his sister. I leaned against it, keeping my eyes fixed on him. All of a sudden, there was so much of it. I wanted to scream, I wanted to yell, I wanted to scold him. Yet, despite I opened my mouth, no sound came out of my throat.
“Dove …,” he mumbled sadly, and I … Something in me.
I don’t know.
My gaze fell upon the traveling bag he was probably packing. And then, that something in me simply exploded. Like a balloon overfilled with water.
There was so much of what I wanted to tell him, yet I didn’t say a word. Looking at the boy who robbed me of my heart, who robbed me of my mind and now intended to leave, I completely lost my self-control.
I ran to him, stopping his speech. I ignored the confusion, growing in his eyes. I was about to punch him, I desired to punch him in his face so hard that he would feel pain he´d caused me.
Instead, I dug my fingers into his hair and with all the might the anger inside me evoked, I pulled him to me. I hit his lips with mine, not giving him a chance to protest.
And he moaned into my mouth.
Oh, fuck! I couldn’t even describe how huge was the urge that swept me away when I felt his divine body submitting to me. Out of the blue, his tongue dominated my mouth, his hands conquered the bare skin of my back. It wasn’t me anymore, it was him who pinned me to his chest, robbing me of my free-will as well.
His hoodie, hell, I grabbed its zipper, and my demon took a sharp breath as I ripped that annoying thing off him right away.
My mind was hazed, my whole body was on fire. That´s exactly how the boy influenced me. I…, he…, me…, the mattress under my back, and where my t-shirt ended, I had no idea. Suddenly, I was lying with a half-naked demon between my legs.
“Dammit, Dove,” he growled, he bit my chin, “what are you doing to me …”
“Shut up, Lestrad, just shut up!” I hissed at him interrupting whatever, he wanted to say. “I can scream at you later for wanting to leave me!”
I didn’t overlook the amusement that ran through his expression. I didn’t miss it even though it was immediately replaced by lust.
He narrowed his eyes at me, there was only pure desire that controlled his gaze now. And I saw it. I saw what my provocations were doing to him. My demon was close to losing his self-control as well. I learned how close when he bent his beautiful face down to my ear.
“You wanna scream, Babygirl?” he whispered sweetly right before he pressed his lips to my neck. “Fine. Your wish is my command.”
I couldn’t decide!
Whether his tongue brought me release like an ice on my too hot skin. Or whether his kisses made me burn even more.
And he meant it, oh, he meant what he´d said. He forced me to moan pretty loudly when his fingers slid under my bra to touch my nipple. I could swear he enjoyed feeling it harden against his touch. And he rocked against me, pressing his hard-on to my crotch.
“Take off those fucking jeans!” I ordered him. “Now!”
He raised the corner of his lips into his captivating crooked smile letting me realize that he was fully aware of what he was doing to me in return. I lifted myself in an attempt to speed up the process, but his hands didn’t let me. He pinned me back to the bed as his smile spread even more.
“Your jeans or mine, Dove?”
Hell, he teased me! He must have known how much it was killing me! Every second he could have been inside me and still wasn’t, was torturing me!
“Dammit! Take them off!” I snaped at him, I really did. Just to beg right after that: “I need you.”
I was sure of that. Despite all the passion glowing in his eyes, I spotted tenderness in them, as well. It appeared as soon as I confessed. I told him the truth, I said I needed him, and now I could watch in detail how much he needed to hear it.
And his hands found the rest of my clothes to pull them off me.
I didn’t manage to perceive it properly nor to admire his divine body as he get rid of his clothes too. In an instant, he was back with me. He grabbed my both hands, he made me lift them over my head and then intertwined our fingers. He returned back between my thighs, he shifted his weight on me, leaving me completely still, completely in his power.
And I liked it.
He was breathing heavily into my face; he filled my personal space with his fragrance. Suddenly, he was everywhere, and I still didn’t feel like I had enough of him. Until the moment he filled me.
I suffocated another moan making its way out of my lungs, but my demon wasn’t so restrained. His deep lustful growl turned my blood into boiling acid and forced my heart to pound a hundred times quicker.
I lifted my hips to meet him, I wrapped my legs around his gorgeous ass to deepen our connection. Cause´ I craved to get even closer to him, I really craved to take more out of him. Everything he could give me.
And then he moved.
And I understood.
Only then did I understood that he meant deathly serious his previous promise to make me scream. Only then did I understand why he held my hands like that.
His burning skin, each of his firm muscles, the heat radiating from his body. I felt them, I felt too vividly every single inch where we were touching. He released me to bump against me again and that fucking exhilaration almost tore my veins apart.
I needed to tilt my head, I needed to arch back just to compensate all the rush he was causing me. But I couldn’t. Lying like this, lying in the captivity of his body, I couldn’t move. I couldn’t do a damn thing. I couldn’t calm down my suddenly too aroused senses.
I could do nothing else just to perceive the unbearable tension he was building inside me.
And my demon must have known.
He must have seen how much he turned me on, yet he left my body and dived inside me harder pushing me to the verge of shivering.
He must have seen how I gasped for air, yet he slid his tongue into my mouth, and I wanted to beg.
He must have realized how he controlled me, yet he withdrawn a little to slam back into me making me cried out his name.
“Say it again, Dove,” he mumbled, his voice too needy, too lascivious. “Keep saying my name. All of me belongs to you anyway.”
Not that I had a choice, I hadn’t. I obeyed him, I let those moans leaving my mouth as he kept moving inside me, making me reach out for seventh heaven.
He wasn’t as tender as he was yesterday, yet he wasn’t harsh enough for me to explode straightaway. No, my demon knew exactly what he was doing. I was dying to feel him inside me, I was dying for him to never stop filling me, to claim me. I wanted him deeper and harder, but he slowed down, drawing it out, making it last, forcing me to go insane.
“Larissa,” he said my name with quiet urgency, and I understood. When he locked his suddenly too shining eyes on me, I realized that the need growing inside him was just as intense as mine. “Have you at least a slight idea how fucking gorgeous it feels to burry myself inside you?”
He took my mouth not waiting for my answer, he kissed me roughly as if my lips were the only thing that helped him to survive.
I sucked in air, craving for oxygen when he thrusted inside me again. And then he did it again and again. And suddenly, I could only dream about boiling acid in my veins. Because the tornado scudding across every single cell in my body right now, prevented me from thinking, from breathing. Raging, unendurable, overpowering. I wanted, I needed to come, yet I desperately wished it would never stop.
I clenched his fingers, I bit his shoulder, I did, I bit his neck causing the low growl to leave his throat. My mind went black, there was only haze floating around me. And his eyes looking at me underneath his narrowed eyelids darkened. I could swear he was enjoying it. That he was enjoying the sight of me completely under his control.
His breath became shallow, his muscles tightened, his whole body stiffened against me. I couldn’t tell which one of us craved air more. And just when the tornado dominating my body burst into an alluring euphoria, my demon came inside me.
I had no idea whether it was paradise or gates of Hell where the devilish envoy brought me to. I just had the feeling I would never be able to catch my breath again nor to calm down my heart. And the boy above me made it worse when he fell on me, burying his face in the curve of my neck.
“Holy crap, Princess!” he muttered letting me realize that his body was experiencing the same madness as mine. Yet he managed to stop my heart after all. “I love you so goddamn much.”
He said it again forcing me to survive the second ecstasy. Because it was the fucking prettiest thing he could ever say. And I opened my mouth to tell him the same thing, to tell him that I loved him too. But I got stuck as the fear overwhelmed me. Yes, I was scared that he wouldn’t believe me. That he would think I only said that under the influence of my fading euphoria.
I needed to talk to him. Not only about my feelings, but also about us. About everything what had happened. I needed him to realize, to understand that I meant it fucking serious. But I had to have a sober head while explaining the way I felt about him. And so did he.
“Will you finally stay with me voluntarily?” he asked. “Or should I get some ropes to tie you up?”
I burst out laughing, I laughed heartily as the indescribable feeling of happiness overpowered me. And my demon joined me, damn, there was nothing more pleasant than feeling his heart beating wildly against my chest. Than the gentle vibration that spread from his chest to me.
However, he deprived me of it when lifted himself. He pulled away, he left my body, allowing me to take a deep breath. And when he fixed those mesmerizing eyes on me, I understood that this time he wanted to hear my answer.
“Voluntarily,” I promised. “But get the ropes anyway.”
Something in his gaze darkened again when he pierced me with it. He growled at me, my demon really growled at me, letting me know that I was provoking him. In an instant, I was pretty sure that if I went further, his answer would involve a lot of my moans.
And maybe I was tempted, like really tempted with his naked body still lying on me. However, there was much more important thing that occurred me at that moment. I simply had to ask.
“What about you, Eric?” I mean, looking at him, I changed my mind. I didn’t intend to ask anymore. “You´re not going anywhere, you know that right?”
And he sighed heavily.
“Like I really could.”
It sounded defeatedly, my demon sounded as if he had lost the fight. But I understood as I felt exactly the same.
Like I could.
Like it would be even possible to throw him out of my life.
After what we had been through, even though he´d hurt me, we still belonged to each other. Even the pain we´d caused each other hadn´t been able to separate us. I loved him damn much as well. And he needed to know that.
He caressed my nose with his nose only to land with his lips on my lips. All the rush was gone, oh, the boy couldn’t have been gentler. I was enjoying it, fuck, for the first time since I´d known him, I enjoyed his slowly kisses without any devastating remorse. Because I knew now that he felt the same way.
Just me and him lying in his bed and cuddling.
There they were, the bricks above us, the ones I´d counted every night when I´d lived here. When I´d just wished I could lie in his arms exactly like I was now. With his scent all around me. With his naked body covering mine.
And suddenly, I swear, my lungs were about to burst out with happiness.
He ran his fingers over my waist, and I automatically screamed out as it tickled me. In an instant, he looked too boyish, too cute, like a small child at Christmas. It was plain as the day; I was totally sure he was up to something. That I could only curse the genes which were responsible for my ticklishness. I tried to turn away from him, laughing. I mean, at first, I really wanted to. But then the picture hanging on the wall near his fireplace caught my attention. And I couldn’t get the question out of my head.
“Eric? Why did you replace the fifth angel with a painting of me?”
To my great surprise, my demon froze. He got stuck in the middle of kissing my palm and for a second or two, I had the impression that I shouldn’t have asked. But he just exhaled softly.
“The fifth angel reminded me of everything I´ve lost, Princess. I replaced it with you because you brought that back to me.”
He answered me, he gave me the same answer as the last time I´d asked. Still, I didn’t understand him at all.
He saw the confusion in my eyes, he must have seen it as he didn’t stop watching me. And I could watch the struggle raging within him. He stroked my hair, he softly kissed my nose, yet I felt that he was thinking about something.
And then I stopped understanding at all.
He pulled away from me, my demon got up and without saying a word, he headed to his wardrobe room. However, I didn’t even manage to enjoy the view, I didn’t have time to collect myself and he was back with me. Already wearing his sweatpants.
He brought me his T-shirt and despite my growing confusion, I let him pull it over my head. And he reached out his hand to me.
“Come, Princess. I wanna show you something.”
I obeyed him. I got out of the bed too, I let him lead me out of his room. We turned right, we crossed a hallway and then we maybe turned right again, I don’t know. Because I found myself in a part of his place where I´d never been before. And I couldn’t take my eyes of those beautiful paintings, decorating the walls at our sides. I couldn’t suppress the pride as I saw Eric´s name written in their corners.
I longed to ask about them, but my demon stopped at a massive door. And then I forgot about anything else anyway as he opened it, as he let me enter a spacious room. I felt as if I found myself in a previous century.
There must have been like thousands of books, filling the shelves all around me. Everywhere except the large window. I noticed a massive table in front of it, the chair, the sofa, the old furniture. The whole space was exuding a magical atmosphere.
“Where are we?” I asked curiously as I tried to run my eyes over the collection of books.
“Will´s library,” my demon answered forcing me to stiffen and immediately turn to him.
And I might have been worried that Will didn’t want us here. I might have wanted to ask whether we were allowed to disturb his privacy. If I hadn’t forgotten about my concern straightaway. Because it caught my eye.
The books were really everywhere. Except the large window and a wall behind my back. The wall where a huge painting was hanging. A painting of a woman. A beautiful girl who could have been just a couple of years older than me.
My demon stood still in front of her.
I didn’t hesitate to join him, to look at that picture properly. Although it looked like a Rembrandt-style with those stunning details, the girl on this portrait was smiling. Her eyes, gosh, the second my gaze landed on her eyes, I couldn’t look anywhere else. There was kindness hidden there, her eyes told me that she must have been lovely. A kind of person you never forget.
Noticing the clothes, she was wearing, I estimated that the painting must have been at least three hundred years old. And I wasn’t mistaken. The little inscription in the lower left corner confirmed my assumption. It wasn’t my demon´s name written there anymore; this wonderful painting belonged to another artist.
William Norrington, 1723.
“Who´s the charming girl on the picture?” I asked when he said nothing. But the tenderness that filled his eyes couldn’t be overlooked.
And my demon looked at me.
He raised his hand to gently run his fingers through my face. To brush my probably pretty messy hair behind my ear. He smiled, he smiled magically before he pressed his lips together.
Yet, he stepped back as if he wanted to give me space. Or as if he was afraid of my reaction. Rightly. I could swear, I was just dreaming but no, he really said those words. He whispered softly: “The girl on the picture is my mom.”