I didn’t want to, I desperately didn’t want to but when my Princess tried to get up, I didn’t have any other choice than to let go off her.
Maybe it was fear that filled my lungs … No …! Dammit! It must have been fear, I was really scared that the moment came. That she wanted, that she was really about to run away from me.
However no, my Princess probably just needed some space to think. It dawned on me that she needed a minute for herself when she headed to the window instead of the door.
She opened it, she drew the curtains, letting the sun paint the room with its rays. The gentle breeze that slipped inside ruffled her hair, and I simply envied it for being allowed to touch her. I envied the view outside for having her attention.
She was perfect in any possible way and there was only one little thing that she was missing. My arms around her.
At that instant, at that one instant when she was standing in the glare of the afternoon sun and staring into the distance, wearing just my T-shirt, I only knew, I was utterly sure that I loved her.
I was afraid of her reaction. I was terrified that she would condemn me as soon as she realized who I was. Because I was the son of a murderer, and I became one myself. Because I´d killed for my survival. Because I´d killed for my own pleasure.
And now the stillness between us was killing me.
If she had screamed at me, if she had scolded me, it would have been more bearable than her deathly silence that remained after my confessions. I felt her restlessness, she was thinking about something. And the more seconds passed, the more I was falling apart. And the more I was falling apart, the more I needed to know what was going through her head.
I couldn’t take it anymore.
“Princess?” I whispered softly as I got up too and approached her. That’s right, my determination to leave her alone with her thoughts completely failed.
I froze as she jerked slightly. As if I disturbed her, as if she didn’t notice me coming at all. I completely petrified, waiting for her answer. Waiting for her permission to come closer.
And that stunning girl looked at me.
“Could you do it for me, too? Could you prolong my life?” she asked quietly, stopping my heart along. “Can you slow down my aging?”
Yeah, indeed, my heart quit beating only to go insane a second later.
“Why would you want that?” I whispered; I did. Although I had my answer even before I finished my question.
Her gaze fell upon the floor, she got stuck as if she didn’t know how to say what she wanted to say. Or as if she didn’t want to say it aloud. And I understood that she realized the difference between us. How different were the worlds we came from. How bad I was for her.
Because she was human, and I hadn’t changed in three-hundred years.
“I could,” I wanted to sound kindly, yet my voice betrayed me as despair crept into its tone. The same despair I felt somewhere deep inside me. “But I won’t do it.”
She was very quick to look at me again. There was a surprise in her eyes, I could see she hadn’t even the slightest clue why I´d turned her down.
“You don’t know what you’re asking for, Dove,” I shook my head and my Princess sighed discontentedly.
The March´s breeze brushed a strand of her hair off her face, that fucking breeze was touching her instead of me. And then not anymore as she rushed to hug me.
It must have been a huge load that I felt being taken off my mind, I was really relieved when she snuggled up to me again. And I wrapped my arms around her, convinced never to let go off her again.
“I do,” she mumbled into my chest. “I know what I want. I want you.”
I closed my eyes. I had to close my eyes as if it could help me believe that I really heard it. That I heard my Dove say she wanted me.
I had to close my eyes as the unbearable urge almost swept me away like a tornado. Because I wanted to, I was desperately tempted to comply with her, to prolong her life. I longed to do it right here, right now.
She asked me out of her free will which meant she desired that herself. And I would be the luckiest man in the world if I could have her for myself. Suddenly, I would have the reason to want to live forever.
I couldn’t be so selfish.
Not with her.
I leaned my forehead against hers, I looked straight into her eyes. Her scent hit my nostrils and for a second I truly believed that she wasn’t just a dream that would fade away one day.
“Think about your parents,” I begged her. I guess, I felt the last bits of my strength leaving me. “And Joel and the boys. Think about Jim and all of your friends. How would you explain to them that you’re still seventeen? That you´re not aging?”
Something changed in her expression. I could see that she understood where I was heading to. And I hated it. For the first time in my whole existence, I felt the weight of time.
“I did it for Will and Tamara because they didn’t have anyone anymore. But you, Love, you have so many people that care about you. Are you ready to lose them? To see them die? Or would you tell them about the world I come from and put them into danger?”
I felt her fragile body loosen up. However, it wasn’t due to relief. It was as if she lost some kind of battle and just admitted it.
And I lost the war.
“I can´t let you do it,” I exhaled defeatedly. “Not because of me.”
I needed her in my life. I so fucking needed her but what I needed, what I wanted wasn’t important. She was. And she had to be happy. With or without me.
I was fully aware that she would grow older. That one day she would leave me. I didn’t want to think about it though, I just desired to enjoy the time I had with her now. I needed to remember the taste of her embrace, all the shapes of her smile. I needed to remember the way her lips were burning my skin. So this memory would help me bear the thought of the eternity.
“Come on,” I smiled in attempt to drive away all her grim thoughts, “I’ll take you out for lunch. I can hear you stomach growling!”
She chuckled quietly and I found my way back to heaven when she run with her fingers through my chest. But then she got stuck, making me freeze automatically.
“Hell no, Lestrad! You promised me a date!” she narrowed that bewitching gaze of hers and pulled away from me. “I don’t know what you´re used to but I expect a romantic dinner. Not some kind of quick lunch!”
There they were, sparkles ignited in her eyes. They grew into playful flames letting me realize that she was just teasing me. She must have seen how much her request to prolong her life threw me off balance. Maybe she wanted to cheer me up. Maybe she also wanted me not to think about it anymore. One way or another, it was plain as the day. My Princess was making fun of me.
And I couldn’t let her get away with it, right?
She shrieked out when I lifted her, when I tossed her over my shoulder. And her joyful laughter filled my ears. I followed her example… Well, I couldn’t suppress the burst of laughter at the pounding of her tiny, cute fists on my back.
“Put me down!”
Out of the blue, all the grumpy mood was gone, and I would gladly give up all my fortune only if I could listen to her giggles all the time.
I headed back to my room with her, ignoring her cursing and adorable attempts to get down off me. I laid her down on the sofa. I meant to go and find something to eat at least in the kitchen. But meeting her eyes as I pulled away from her, I could do nothing else than just kneel in front of her.
Her hair was even messier. There were no playful sparks in her irises anymore. No, it was literally fire glowing in her gaze and I couldn’t get enough of her being incapable to stop chuckling.
“Holy crap! Eric! How can you be so strong?”
The urge overpowered me, and I succumbed to it. I tucked her hair behind her ear, I ran with my fingers through her cheek only to hug her face with my hand. My Princess shivered and for me, the fun was over.
For fuck´s sake!
The girl was beautiful!
“You, Dove,” I answered her, I told her the truth,” hearing you say my name makes me damn weak.”
Yes, I told her the truth, I confessed just like I´d been confessing for the past two hours. But this time, her lips spread into a gorgeous smile. Right before she pressed them to my mouth.
I swear the thing under my ribs came to life again, I swear it pounded only for her. I let the moan escaped my throat just as I let my hands find her body. And the way she was pulling me closer to her made me desperately seek for at least some self-control.
Goddamn weak… I was a puppet for her!
Her breath stuttered only to accelerate right after that. She was breathing right into my mouth, not knowing how close I was to make her mine again. I´d never craved something so badly as I craved her, but I had her like two and a half hours ago and I was worried she could be sore.
My fingers refused to obey me though. They couldn’t quit touching her and I guess I didn’t blame them. The velvety skin of her thighs was temptation itself and knowing she wore nothing under my T-shirt literally drove me insane.
C´mon man! She needs to eat something!
With the last bits of my free-will, I pulled away from her dazing scent. I kissed her forehead as I got up, trying hard to pretend that I didn’t hear her discontent sigh.
“I´ll get you something to eat, okay? I´ll be right back.”
Oh, there they were, her lips that I´d kissed couple of seconds ago. She pressed them together as if she didn’t like what I´d told her. And I really needed a fucking huge determination to take that one step toward the door. And then the second one, the third, the fifth, the eighth, the ninth…
The sun peeked into my room when I reached out for the door handle. And then I got stuck as the feeling overpowered me.
Because everything I cared about, everything that revolved around my world suddenly stopped. It didn’t make sense to me anymore. Out of the blue, I saw things in a completely different way.
“Eric, I love you.”
And then my whole world started to spin only around her.
Did she say…?
Did she just …?
Did I …?
I froze, I totally petrified as I couldn’t believe my ears. Suddenly, my pounding heart was all I heard and maybe only it forced me not to touch the door and turn back to her.
She was no longer sitting on the sofa; she was standing right next to it. So uncertainly, perhaps even timidly. She crossed her arms on her chest as if she needed to protect herself. As if the words she´d said were the most fragile thing that could have left her mouth.
It took me one third of a second to approach her again. Only when she jerked did I realized that I forgot to act like a human so I wouldn’t scare her. But right now, I didn’t care. Right now, there was nothing more important than to know whether I´d really lost my mind for her.
“Princess,” I cupped her face with my hands, “what did you say to me?”
And the hauntingly beautiful girl looked straight into my eyes.
“I don’t care what you are or what you were,” she spoke quietly. “I only care who you are with me. I don’t believe that nonsense, I don’t believe that you don’t have a soul. You do, you have the most stunning soul, Eric. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have fallen for you.”
I heard it; I was slowly realizing the meaning of every word she was saying. It wasn’t just a dream, I wasn’t dreaming, she was here, she… I did… I…
“You could have hurt me,” she took both of my hands off her face only to intertwine our fingers. “You could have pushed me away; you could have chased me away. You could do it again. Still, it didn’t change, it won´t change the way I feel about you. I´m standing here in front of you and saying that I love you.”
She let her gaze drop somewhere down. She closed her mesmerizing eyes for a second. But then she looked at me again. She looked at me only to make me see.
The girl I was in love with, loved me back.
There was still shyness in her gaze, even in the way she touched my chest. As if she didn’t know, as if she had no clue that it belonged to her. That all of me belonged to her and she could do whatever she wanted to do with me.
“Princess…,” I exhaled, mumbling.
She said she loved me!
I swear I felt tears burning my eyes. Just like there was something burning in my chest, preventing me from breathing properly. Because the only girl I´d ever been in love with just … Hell! She admitted that se felt the same way!
There was so much of what I wanted, of what I needed to tell her. Of what I needed her to know and to never forget. But she bit her lower lip. That´s right, she switched off my self restrain with that only gesture. I could no longer control my desire.
I dug my fingers into her hair to pull her closer. I kissed her. I kissed her with all the love I felt. Without speaking, I let my mouth show her what her confession meant to me. I kissed her and she complied with me.
She opened her adorable mouth, letting me in, letting me fondle her tongue. She laid her tiny hands on my chest as if she wanted to know how fast my heart was beating for her. Oh yes, her lips kissing mine, were telling me her own story.
Nothing was more tempting at that time than the idea of having her for myself. I couldn’t even describe the feeling that was building up inside me. I longed to keep kissing her until the world burst out. I longed to touch her, I longed her to be mine, I longed her to admit that she was only mine.
I simply longed to worship every single inch of her perfection.
But my Princess pressed herself to my body. She did it to me, she moaned pretty loudly as she must have felt how hard she made me.
Not only she turned off my self-restrain, she also deprived me of my self-control, of my ability to think.
I wanted to lay her down onto bed. Or into the duvets that were still scattered in front of fireplace since last night. Instead, I let her drag me to the sofa, I let her straddle me when we fell onto it.
Yes, I was scared I could hurt her. But it was her who groped the hem of my shorts. Not leaving her mesmerizing lips, I lifted myself a little allowing her to pull it off me. I sucked air into my lungs as I fucking needed it. However no, my Princess didn’t give me even a second to collect myself. She stole every single damn molecule of oxygen I´d just gained when she lowered herself onto me.
For heaven´s sake! My whole body stiffened as all I could perceive now was the gorgeous feeling of two of us becoming one. And she tore away from my mouth, she tilted her head back only to moan once more. Oh, in a single second, I thought of a million ways how I would make her come right now but the idea of her controlling me was much more arousing.
To the trembling of her body, to her too dazing charisma, to her hands that clenched my arms.
Suddenly, she was breathing too heavily but I was no better off than her. I leaned my forehead against hers, closing my eyes for a moment.
Because I needed to remember.
I needed to remember the huge avalanche of emotions that overwhelmed me. That passed through me when I filled her. Or to be more precisely, she filled me. She filled every fucking missing part of me. Dammit, I would tear down the world for her and then rebuild it back just to make her smile.
“I love you,” I whispered into her mouth. I described the most honest thing I´d ever felt, being fully aware that I never wanted to separate myself from her.
Because she managed to do it, she managed to bewitch a demon. To tie me to her with some kind of invisible shackles. I simply belonged to her. And I never doubted that.
And my Princess smiled at me. She conjured up a magical smile as her hand hugged my face and her thumb ran through my lower lip.
“I love you,” she said the most beautiful thing she could ever say to me. Right before she kissed me gently.
And then she moved against me, making me dive into her even deeper.
Something kindled in my blood, I swear my vessels were being etched. I wrapped my arms around her, I grabbed her butt as she didn’t stop moving. I spoiled her tongue as she kept rocking against me. But it wasn’t just lust that filled my body. My Princess was the only one who made me feel, perceive, sense. As if I was truly alive.
My fingers sneaked under the only clothes she wore to worship the softness of her skin. Damn! Suddenly, I couldn’t decide. I couldn’t tell which of my desires was bigger. To rip the T-shirt off her body or to let her wear it further. Because it was my T-shirt and all about her wearing it was screaming that she was my girl.
All of a sudden, I couldn’t tell what I craved more. Whether to press her closer to me, to hide her in my embrace and hold her tight. Or to let her keep bumping against me, to let the divine feeling overtake me.
“I love you,” I said again. Because I really needed her to know it, to never forget it, to never doubt it again. Because I needed to say it thousand more times.
And my Dove whispered my name. Silently. Too tenderly for me to start trembling. She opened her mouth, but she only leaned her hands against my chest as if she needed a support.
“I …,” she mumbled but her breath caught in her throat. Gosh, how I relished the way she was breathing shallowly! “Love… You… Too…”
She really loved me!
She was giving in, she surrendered to me as well and that was enough for me to completely fall apart under her spell. Oh yeah, I was falling. I was falling somewhere into a haze, and I never intended to come back again.
I let her gasp for air. I kissed her neck instead, enjoying her stupefying scent. Enjoying her soft body which was responding to mine with the same passion. As if we had been created only for ourselves. As if were meant to be one.
Her belly muscles started to contract, she arched back blocking all the rational pathways in my brain. Fuck, none of them were capable of passing on a coherent thought when I watched her stop holding herself back, when I heard her moans.
Swaying against me, controlling every single cell in my body, she pumped my blood with pure desire, and I pulled the T-shirt up only to lick her nipple, to suck it into my mouth. And my Princess came in shuddering waves, making me come too. Suddenly, I swear, the earth was truly moving underneath my feet.
She fell exhausted on my chest and I automatically closed her in my arms, enjoying her being with me. Enjoying the euphoria that was filling both of us. I kissed her forehead, and she rested her face against my neck. Here, now, sitting with this girl on the couch in my room, I was the luckiest man under the sun.
“I know it´s not gonna be easy,” she whispered, her breath tickling my skin. Her cute fingers ran through the bracelet she´d given me. The bracelet which I never intended to get off my wrist. She touched it as if she wanted to emphasize the one word that defined us together. “But promise me that you won´t leave. That you won´t give up on us.”
I immediately understood what she meant. She was pointing at me being a three hundred years old demon who had just learnt what love really was. I´d never been in a relationship. Not yet with a human girl.
“Lara,” I said her name. And then I wanted to say her name million times more because it had the power to soothe, to cure all the pain I´d ever experienced. This was all new to me, I had no idea how to explain to her how I felt. But then I remembered.
“Since I know you, you made me deny everything I’ve ever believed in. For the last six months, you were my inspiration in everything I did. It´s because of you, only because of you that I’m not giving up on hope. You are the reason for my every breath. That I still want to breathe at all. Mon Dieu! You bewitched me so much that I´m not able to think reasonably when it comes to you. You´re my best friend, my other half, my soulmate … How could I walk away from that? I love you fucking much! So much that I’d spill my last drop of blood for you. If you want me to, if you ask me to, I´ll gladly rip my heart out of my chest and lay it at your feet right now.”
A deathly silence had fallen between us. I so badly wished to break it, but it occurred to me that my Dove perhaps needed time to realize that I was being honest to her. And maybe she also recalled the evening we spent at Bill´s. The evening when I answered her question, when I described what the right one meant to me. Because yes, this one girl hiding in my arms was the right one for me. And I loved her so much I could die.
But then I heard a quiet sob, hardly allowing me to draw any oxygen into my lungs.
For heaven´s sake!
Was she crying?!
I swear it made my heart leap and I wanted to look at her immediately. However, my Princess overtook me. I loosened my grip a little bit so she could lift herself and then I fell in love for like thousandth time. Exactly at the moment when our eyes met.
There was a single teardrop making its way down her cheek and I didn’t hesitate to wash it away with my thumb. Oh, she looked lovely, absolutely adorable with that touched expression on her face.
“I love you so goddamn much,” she whispered and that was all I needed to pull her back to my lips.
I still couldn’t believe that. That was the fourth time she said she loved me, yet I simply couldn’t believe that I was worth her loving. That I deserved her. But she was still here, she was kissing me back and the luckiest man in the world suddenly seemed like a ridiculous underestimation of my situation.
Until she tore away from me.
I moaned discontentedly, trying to follow her, to kiss her again. However, my Princess just laughed quietly as she made me lean against the couch again.
“C´mon, loverboy, you owe me a date,” she teased me. “So, what time will you pick me up?”