It was more dark than light outside when I got back home when I opened the door to Jim’s house. I was tired, I could write extensive poems about emotional exhaustion, and I was seriously thinking about a long bath.
A very, very long bath.
Everything ached, my whole body protested, and my brain still didn’t work. I tried to fix it with a shot of Jim from Jim’s secret supply, but the thing in my head simply refused to reset itself.
I was confused.
And I was pissed.
Confused about my demon, because even after five hours, I couldn’t understand why he´d done it. Why he´d suggested something like that.
Angry at myself for not being able to stop thinking about it. Because he´d had to be kidding, nothing but kidding, and I just couldn’t get it out of my mind.
Because when he asked me that, when I was standing in front of him with my hand on his heart, when he was looking at me with that damn intense gaze of his, in that one minute of panic, it didn’t even occur to me to reject him.
I was seventeen.
Seventeen for heaven´s sake!
I didn’t think about getting married yet. Not now, not in the future. Still, saying no to him didn’t even crossed my head. And I couldn’t blame my uncooperative brain for that as it never worked around that boy.
I cursed as I knocked back another shot. I kept cursing as I went upstairs. I cursed the guy who invented high-inch heels. Because it had to be a guy.
At one moment, I had the feeling that I would probably never stop cursing. At the other moment, I forgot about everything. I totally forgot about the whole world.
When I opened the door to my room.
There it was, I swear my eyes weren’t fooling me. There stood a little blanket fort in the middle of my room. I stopped upon seeing it, I stiffened completely, and my jaw must have dropped somewhere to the ground.
And that memory of my childhood flashed through my mind immediately.
Exactly that one memory I´d recently told my demon about.
He built me a small fort made of blankets, there were also lights illuminating the inside of it. He put there a slim mattress with lot of pillows so I wouldn’t be lying on the floor. He´d thought of everything!
I stared at it, I just slumped down on my knees and kept staring at it, unable to believe it. It was beautiful, it was magical, I was absolutely thrown off balance. But none of it pierced my heart as much as when I saw it. A thin book lying on top of the pillows, and a piece of paper, a message with my name on it.
A Little Prince for my little miss Princess. Something valuable for the most valuable girl in my world. So that she could get lost in the story again.
No! I… I couldn’t find the proper words to describe the rush of emotions that overwhelmed me.
I was so touched!
That he´d done it for me. That he hadn’t forgotten. That it had occurred to him at all. That he made it possible, and I could get lost in a world full of my fantasy again.
Shit, girl! Come to your senses!
Bath was suddenly out of the question, I just wanted to curl up in those pillows. And the whole time I was standing under hot water in the shower, I was thinking. I really tried to come up with some kind of honest way to thank him. I wanted to text him, I needed to let him know how much it meant to me. How he took my breath away. However, even when I stepped out of the bathroom, I simply missed the right words.
I simply wrote him the truth.
I wish I would be able to describe how much you melted my heart but I´m literally speechless right now. Just saying – thank you – seems ridiculous. Even saying that I appreciate it very much is ridiculous. There is nothing, nothing at all, which I could express how I feel about your surprise with.
He used to text me back almost immediately, and now, after twenty minutes of no answer, I was getting nervous. I rather placed my phone next to me so that it stayed close in case it still rang. And instead of worrying, I took his book in my hands.
And then, then I forgot about everything else.
I got lost in the story, I got lost in The Little Prince, I got so lost that it took me a little moment to realize that I really heard it. A quiet knock on my window.
“Come in,” I said softly. And in an instant, I had to try hard to hide how fast my heart was pounding.
“Hi Princess,” he emerged from behind those blankets, and that still might have been okay. If he hadn’t smiled so beautifully. “I wanted to see you. At least for a while.”
Okay, the question - what he was doing here - just lost its point.
But he was looking at me, he was watching me and I…, no, I couldn’t miss it. The tenderness his eyes were reflecting. I couldn’t overlook it, not when it robbed me of all the oxygen in my lungs.
I gave up.
I stopped fighting with my confusion, with the mess in my head. I forgot about the struggle I was waging inside me. I just moved to make a room for him, and my demon didn’t hesitate. He crawled into my blanket fort too, he laid down, taking place next to me though there was space for one and half people.
Did I complain?
No, I didn’t.
He laid his head on the pillow beside me, turning to me, and my heart rate picked up speed as I felt his breath on my neck. As he wrapped his arm around my belly.
Out of the blue, I was lost in the world full of its scent.
He closed his eyes, as if he felt that nothing else had to be said, and I just listened to his calm breathing. I was just perceiving his closeness as I tried to read further.
You will understand now that yours is unique in all the world…*
I really tried to read.
The little prince went away, to look again at the roses…*
I mean, Í really, really tried.
But it only stayed at trying.
Because with him snuggled up to me, with his divine body pressed against mine, with his whole intoxicating charisma, with his fingers drawing circles on my stomach, it wasn’t possible to concentrate on The Little Prince anymore.
You are not at all like my rose,…” *
He practically asked me to marry him today! And now, he was lying here calm, and he obviously didn’t feel the need to deal with it or at least mention it!
Then stop dealing with it too! Stop thinking about it all the time!
I let my gaze fall upon the book again.
“As yet you are nothing. No one has tamed you, and you have tamed no one…” *
So, he was kidding me! Otherwise, he would say something, right?
Goddammit! Lara! Enough!
I failed to suppress the quiet moan over my own naivety. His eyes were closed, he remained lying quietly beside me. I knew it, I was sure of it, even though I wasn’t looking at him. I didn’t dare to look up at him, but I could swear he smiled.
And the roses were very much embarrassed.*
“Would you read something for me Dove?”
His deep voice interrupted the silence between us, and I was more than willing to comply him. I would do anything only if it made me focus on something else than my heart craving his presence.
“You are beautiful, but you are empty,” he went on. “One could not die for you. To be sure, an ordinary passerby would think that my rose looked just like you—the rose that belongs to me. But in herself alone she is more important than all the hundreds of you other roses: because it is she that I have watered; because it is she that I have put under the glass globe; because it is she that I have sheltered behind the screen; because it is for her that I have killed the caterpillars (except the two or three that we saved to become butterflies); because it is she that I have listened to, when she grumbled, or boasted, or ever sometimes when she said nothing. Because she is my rose.” *
I got stuck, not even a beep came out of my throat anymore. I was only capable of staring at the lines in front of me. I got stuck as the magic of these words dawned on me again. I got stuck because my demon opened his eyes.
I felt it.
I felt his piercing gaze too vividly.
As if he realized the sense of the text, too.
“Men have forgotten this truth,” he whispered the secret of the prince´s fox without even looking into the book. “But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed. You are responsible for your rose…”*
And I couldn’t take it anymore.
Because it was unbearable.
I looked at him as well only to meet his glowing gaze.
My head fell on the pillow. As a matter of fact, I couldn’t do anything else. I could just stare at him; I only could study him the way he was studying me. His eyes, his brown, captivating eyes, the tenderness there deepened, preventing my heart from calming down.
I was sure I would memorize this moment forever.
I felt as if he hadn’t even moved, as if he had frozen. He seemed to be thinking about something. Maybe the part from the Little Prince I´d read to him still resonated in him. And maybe it was something completely different that occupied his mind. The light from the lamp was reflected in his irises, reviving the sparks I loved so much. It looked like there were little flames shining in them.
He was breathing calmly. I heard no other sound, out of the blue, there was silence. So pure, so absolute that I got scared that I was sleeping. For a moment, I was really afraid that it was just a dream.
For that moment when I excruciatingly longed him to touch me.
For that one moment when my whole heart tightened, when I froze too. When I realized that there were some things I could control and some things I couldn’t.
Exactly at the moment when I noticed that he was slowly leaning to me.
I saw it, I spotted the uncertainty that overwhelmed the expression of his divine face. I had the impression as if he expected me to pull away, to stop him, to try to stop him. Right after that, my demon closed his beautiful eyes again.
And all I could do was follow his example. I closed my eyes too, letting my other senses feel his closeness. Just perceive the space that had shrunk between us and wait for it to disappear completely.
He pressed his forehead against mine, he leaned his nose against my nose, and then there was no room left for remorse, fear, embarrassment, or regret. All that stayed was the heat of his body and his breath caressing my face, tickling my neck. Suddenly, he was close, he was so terribly close that I wasn’t afraid anymore that I was just dreaming. Instead, I was scared to move so that it all wouldn’t collapse.
I breathed in his scent, I breathed with him, we breathed the same way at the same time, as if we were one body.
And his lips touched mine. He pressed them to my mouth very gently, very carefully, as if it was made of the finest porcelain. As if afraid he would damage it. As if afraid he would do something wrong.
As if he had no idea that I would die for his kiss without hesitation.
He jerked, I felt it. He jerked just like when he´d touched my mouth for first time. Just as if our connection drove him totally crazy. But I wasn’t far from insane either. All his kisses, damn how many times he’d kissed me before, and yet, I always felt differently. It always left an indelible mark in me, forcing me to understand that the hope of escaping him no longer existed. I became more and more entangled in the web of his demonic personality.
His lips, I swear, nothing in the world was as perfectly bewitching as his lips. And I suffered, I suffered immensely when he tore them away from me.
I opened my eyes only to find him looking at me, looking at my mouth. There was a scorching fire blazing in his eyes, and I could not suppress that shiver.
And he must have taken it as his answer.
His breathing accelerated and I couldn’t breathe at all when he leaned in again. But now, it was my eyes he was searching for. What he saw there, whether he recognized the desire starting to overwhelm me, I couldn’t tell. I just knew that the while seemed unendurable. That my whole body ached as I longed for him desperately much.
His hand hugged my cheek softly and I let myself be dragged. Toward his face, toward his scent, I let him pull me to him, because I had no choice anyway.
And then he did it again.
He kissed me once more, he pressed his lips to mine, he made me shiver one more time. His breath stuttered, and it was a yearning growl that escaped his lungs straightaway.
I had to get more out of him.
I opened my mouth, letting him deepen our kiss, letting him melt my whole heart all over again. All of a sudden, he was driving me crazy with the tender touch of his tongue.
And he must have known what he was doing to me. The same desire was radiating from his irises, I saw it when he left my mouth and looked at me. I was sure he felt the same lust. Cause´ there was nothing subtle in the way he pressed his lips to mine right after.
He exhaled heavily as our mouths joined. As if he got rid of something that had tortured him for a long time. As if he gained what he had longed for. And I became uncontrollable, unable not to enjoy it, when he returned those kisses to me with the same passion. I was unable, I didn’t want to protest when his hand on my stomach slid under my tank top.
I allowed his fingers to wander through the naked skin across my belly up to my chest, pulling the fabric of the only upper garment I wore with them.
“Dove,” he whispered. Damn! It turned me on incredibly to hear how he gasped for air. “I’m losing. My. Self-control. Kick me. Out.”
I probably should.
I knew I should.
Yeah, I definitely should.
But his hand lying across my naked chest. His fingers running through my neck. His kisses, which told me that he wasn’t lying. No, the boy next to me didn’t let me think.
He made me want him.
He made me crave him.
He made me surrender to him.
I kissed him; I was the one who pressed my lips to his this time. I raised my hand to cup his face with my palm as if I couldn’t bear the idea of him breaking away from me.
“Go away,” I whispered in an all-too-trembling voice, and immediately pulled him back to my lips.
He moaned into my mouth, and I almost failed to suppress another shiver as I felt his hand drop, his fingers tracing the line of my collarbone, slowly descending.
“Lara,” he hissed, “I’m warning you for the last time. Kick me out of here!”
There was a really intense light, the red intense light or something, flashing in my brain. I don’t know, fuck, I had no problem ignoring it, not dealing with it at all. The Little Prince had his yellow snake, which helped him get where he wanted to go. The little miss Princess had her demon.
And she refused to let him go.
Without hesitation, I dug my fingers into his hair to pull him back to my mouth again. Because that’s exactly where he belonged to.
“Go away,” I repeated quietly, reuniting our lips.
And my demon sighed, defeated.
I understood that he gave up, that he stopped fighting with whatever he, we both felt. I understood that he´d thrown away the last remnants of his self-restraint when he returned my kiss so passionately that he pinned me to the pillow below me.
And then he gently ran his fingers through my nipple.
I couldn’t control the outburst that he caused. He made me tense under his touch, I dig my heels into the mattress. Hell, I might have bent over, raising my chest to meet his hand.
He took a sharp breath; his whole body froze as well. And all of a sudden, it was only unbearable. I wanted him to never stop touching me. I desperately wanted to touch him.
I moved my hands to his T-shirt as I needed to tear it off him. And the envoy from my personal hell immediately got on his knees as soon as he realized what I was trying to achieve. He helped me pull it over his head, leaving the piece of fabric fell into oblivion as he threw it somewhere into the corner of my room.
Those tattoos of his!
His whole fucking mesmerizing body!
I pulled him back to me. My lips crushed into his mouth, and he slid on top of me, holding up his weight on his hands. I wrapped my legs around his waist and locked him against me. It didn’t take me even a brief second to recognize what I was doing to him. My demon was pretty hard, but to say that having him between my thighs wasn’t doing anything to me, I’d be lying. I’d say the biggest lie of my life.
He looked at me, he interrupted our kisses to imprison me in his gaze. And I was instantly drunk by the devotion his expression held. He smiled, he conjured up one of the most magical smiles I´d ever seen only to trail soft pecks down to my face right after.
And suddenly, it was just the two of us.
Suddenly, this cramped space became our tiny world.
The light of the lamp revealed deep emotion in his eyes. I couldn’t even breathe properly as I stared into them. And he leaned to me, he ran his nose through my nose, and ended up with a hot kiss on my lips.
He kept my tongue busy, and I couldn’t get enough of all the heat radiating from his skin that completely engulfed me. I didn’t hinder my hands, I let them study every inch of his half-naked chest.
And I couldn’t stop them either.
Because it wasn’t possible. Because I missed it. Because touching him was the most intoxicating thing in the world.
He stiffened as I slid with my hands down to his stomach. As it was the hem of his jeans that got under my fingers.
“Dove,” he growled quietly, interrupting our kiss for a second. For a second, before something broke inside him. Maybe imaginary border.
Or maybe, I simply crossed it.
He let his forehead lean on mine, he let me tremble hearing how disconcerted his breath was now. When he just whispered to himself: “Fuck that.”
His hands grabbed my tank top, and then I had no tank top anymore as he tore it apart in one quick movement.
I didn’t hold the corners of my mouth, they immediately shot up into a smile. Because I remembered all the teasing remarks which he´d always commented on my tank tops. And now, now I would swear, it was genuine pleasure that was shining in his eyes. I swear, he really enjoyed it. My demon looked as if he had finally won over something that had been torturing him for quite some time.
And I actually liked it.
I liked how much he wanted me, I liked that he lost control. I liked it when the corner of his lips rose into a crooked smile. I literally loved his gaze from under his narrowed eyelids.
“You should have kicked me out when there was still time,” he muttered.
Instead of answering, I pressed his naked chest to my bare skin.
And the whole world started to spin around me.
I wanted to close my eyes, I wanted to roll my head back, I wanted to moan. But he didn’t allow me. He swallowed the sounds coming from my throat as he reunited our mouths again, pinning me to the pillow beneath me. Hell, no one could kiss like him, no one in the world, I was convinced about that.
“Damn, Princess,” he muttered in my ear, heading with his lips down to my neck. “You’re driving me crazy.”
No. Simply no. He must have been mistaken; he must have meant - I’m going to drive you crazy. Cause´ that´s what he was doing to me. He led me straight to the edge of the abyss as he tasted the skin on my neck with his tongue.
But that was no longer enough for him.
Fuck! He really must have set his mind on conquering my head so it would never fight with my heart again. And he knew how to do it, oh yes, he knew the best way possible to achieve it.
It was the pillow, or perhaps the mattress, I had no idea what I clenched with both fists tightly. I guess it hurt a little bit, but I didn’t care, I didn’t even perceive it. All I could feel was my confused, insanely pounding heart. Suddenly, my chest collapsed as I felt his hot mouth planting kisses all over it.
“Ma belle Princesse,” he whispered, “tu es à moi.”
He was right, hell, I knew he was totally right. I was his.
He made me stop breathing, then breathe too fast. He made me squeeze that fucking pillow just so I could compensate the lust he’d aroused in me. He made me bend over backwards again as he caressed my nipple with his nose only to suck it in his mouth right after.
I was his, I´d never been more sure about that one simply fact. My whole body, even my tiptoes obeyed him.
I dug my nails into his back as he kept worshiping my breasts with his tongue. As his hand roamed to my inner thigh and was working its way up.
He made me completely forget what it was like when someone else had touched me like that. I always naively thought that it was the electricity spreading through my whole body, the heat, the chill, the shiver that made me feel this way. But I was wrong. It was he, the only one who controlled me.
My best friend.
And that was exactly the moment when I started to panic.
Every single molecule in my body desired him. But despite the lust controlling me, I remembered my own words. The ones I’d told Jessica two days ago. The ones he’d heard too.
I wanted him, I never wanted anyone as much as I wanted him. But I was scared, too scared. That it would really happen. That for a moment of passion we would tear down everything we had built in those six months. That we would lose the opportunity to get back to each other.
I didn’t want to be his friend with the benefits, I’d never wanted. And I didn’t want to be his next bimbo, one night’s stand. I didn’t want the fragile thing between us to go wrong. At that moment, I was very afraid of the ugly feeling to come back again. When I felt used when I loathed myself. I didn’t want to be a new notch in his belt.
“Eric,” I mumbled, “I need to kiss you.”
Cause’ I needed to kiss him indeed. But first of all, I needed to interrupt whatever his touches led to. Because they did, and I was sure that if I didn’t stop it right away, I would let him do whatever he wanted to do with me.
He looked up at me, taking my breath away with the beautiful smile he conjured up. And he didn’t hesitate, he pulled himself to my face to fulfill my wish.
Not that I didn’t care, I was also afraid of him being mad at me. He would have every right to be as I could have stopped it sooner. He would have every right to be angry that I had just warmed him up and now, I didn’t want to go any further.
I was trying to suffocate my own insecurity and the stupid fear. I could feel them, I could feel my pounding heart.
And my demon felt that too.
He leaned to me to kiss me again, but he didn’t do so. He got stuck, he froze, and I could perceive his whole body completely stiffen. And instead of kissing, he just searched for my eyes.
“Dove, is everything okay?” He asked quietly. However, looking him in the eye, I recognized the moment when it dawned on him. When he probably recalled my conversation with Jessica as well.
Those three longest seconds of my life that followed, I almost didn’t bear them. And my demon exhaled heavily as he leaned his forehead against mine.
“I won’t do anything you don’t want yourself, you know that, right?” His deep voice, the tender tone he spoke out to me with, and I suddenly couldn’t believe I’d heard him saying something like that. “Please Dove, tell me you know that. I would never push you into anything you’re not sure about. I would never allow it to happen.”
He surprised me with those words. In fact, the thought crossed my mind. Whether he already expected that I would back off.
And as if afraid he might scare me, he carefully wrapped his arms around me, slipping his forearms under my shoulders. His palms hugged my cheeks, forcing me to face him. And out of the blue, the sincerity in his expression completely threw me off balance.
“Lara,” he smiled sweetly, “I’ve told you once and I’m gonna repeat it thousand more times if necessary. I want you. I want you so damn much. But not like this, not when you’re struggling with yourself. I want you to want to be mine yourself.”
I got lost in his embrace as he lay on me, I got lost in his eyes as he stroked my cheeks with his thumbs.
“Touching you is the most dazing thing in the world, the most beautiful, and I don’t want to stop,” he whispered into my lips, breathing heavily. “There’s probably a pretty torturous night ahead of me but I don’t care. I don’t want anything for myself, anything at all. I just want to give it all to you. Just for you.”
His eyes, all the shades of the stunning brown, I was staring right into them. Six months we’d known each other, he’d bond me to him, he’d become everything to me. And yet, I didn’t know him, there were so many secrets hidden in his gaze. But one thing I was sure about right now, my demon didn’t lie to me. He meant it damn seriously.
And all of a sudden, it seemed so extremely difficult to force my chest to rise and breath when he pressed his nose to mine. When he quietly asked: “Will you let me?”
He shortened the distance between our lips as he’d done so many times this evening. But he didn’t touch me, he gave me space and opportunity to reject him.
And he fixed his eyes on my soul making me unable to defend myself.
Damn, I loved him above all.
And looking at him, I was sure I had no more doubts, no remorse. I felt no fear as I kissed him. I answered his question, I gave him what he wanted. And in return, he gave me exactly what I longed for.
He deepened the kiss, forcing me to fall back into my personal hell. Exactly the one he alone ruled. The one where he imprisoned me in. And I got imprisoned quite voluntarily, I allowed him to conquer me only by the way he admired my lips.
“Stop me whenever you want, Dove,” he muttered between kisses, he trailed along my jawline. “Whenever you say, I’ll stop.”
No, he wasn’t controlled by passion anymore. The way he was touching me now couldn’t be more delicate.
He slid his hand lower, stroking my arm before his fingers found their way back to my chest. His hot palm, dammit, he touched me so softly, so tenderly, that I wanted to cry. And laugh right away. Immediately afterwards, I wanted to belong to him for entirety.
He studied the skin of my belly as if he needed to engrave every inch of it in his memory. He strayed with his fingers to the hem of my shorts, stopping my heart for a second. But no, my demon kept his word. He didn’t want to push me into anything, he didn’t try to take the last clothes off me. Instead, he continued his journey.
I had no idea what was forcing me to succumb to him more and more. Whether it was his tongue which was in perfect harmony with mine. Whether it was his hand caressing my thigh. He led me to wrap my leg around his waist again and I obeyed him.
His arm gave way beneath him, and he dropped his weight on me, pressing himself against my body. And then he rocked gently against me, forcing me to moan quietly into his mouth as the very slight movement filled the last space left between us.
Other than his T-shirt and my tank top, we remained clothed, but I realized how he fit me perfectly. As if my body was made for him and he must have been made for me.
As if our souls merged.
And the rest of the world disappeared.
There was only his mouth entwined with mine. There was his scent surrounding me. There were his hands caressing my face. And I was perfectly happy.
“Tu es à moi,” he whispered again tearing away from my lips. He left me space to breathe, but I had no idea how to breathe at all as he rocked against me one more time. “It’s like I´ve been sleeping for three-hundred years and suddenly, I am awake.”
I managed to gasp for air, I sucked it into my lungs. But he took my breath away, nonetheless. He made me tense when he moved his gorgeous ass against me again. And he didn’t stop.
His lips found my neck only to plant kisses all over it. He licked the sensitive spot in its curve and sucked it in his mouth as his tongue fondled with my skin.
The heat from my lower belly crept into all my blood vessels, into all my cells. I was fully aware of it as it slowly started to turn into the most narcotic feeling I’d ever experienced.
There was so much devotion in his voice which he said my name - the name he´d given me - with. I had to look at him just to find it in his eyes as well. But then he closed them, he kissed my forehead as he murmured: “I am responsible for my rose.”
He muttered it too silently and yet, his words reached my ears and settled somewhere deep in my heart.
I couldn’t tell whom he said those words to. Whether to me or to himself. A second later it didn’t matter anyway. When he reunited his lips with mine, I perceived it, I was vividly aware of their meaning. Of that one truth.
He tied me to him as much as I tied him to me. The connection between me and him never disappeared. Although he hurt me involuntarily, even though we were apart, despite all the ugly moments, despite all the tears, neither of us succeeded in breaking the bond that had grown between us.
It was there, I could feel it too strongly, it was dragging me to him. It was reflected in his eyes as he was now looking at me.
He´d tamed me and I´d let myself to be tamed.
I recalled our first “kiss”, the gentle touch at Scotch´s party. All of the time, I thought I’d never experienced anything so intimate before although he was a stranger to me.
But now, as I was staring at him as well, I…
I felt like I was falling and then floating. I felt like I was flying when he pressed himself to me over again. I sensed every part of him, all of him, touching me in a way I´d never known before. I mean, I had boyfriend, sure. But this, this was completely different. With my demon enclasping me, it was phenomenal.
I almost shudder under the alluring rhythm he created, my insides nearly fluttered with every movement our bodies made.
He leaned his forehead against mine and I could feel his too heavy, too accelerated breath on my skin. But he didn’t try to kiss me again as he saw I had also a way too big problem with breathing.
“Larissa,” he whispered my name again letting the intense need overwhelmed his eyes. He shifted his weight, he rocked against me again, never allowing our faces to part. And in that moment, he got close to me, so close, too close that I could feel my heart beating in his chest.
And I understood what intimacy really was.
The intimacy of touch, of two souls, of trust, of belonging together.
“Eric, I…” I wanted to say something. Maybe I wanted to describe all the feelings racing through me. But instead, I just felt them as they overpowered me.
The rush, the heat, the fire, the fever, the uncontrollable passion, they suddenly emerged from inside me and strained my whole body. A moan escaped my mouth, and my demon stole it for himself as he claimed my lips again. I began to shudder as the pure extasy prevailed over my mind.
And he knew, he must have known what he´d done to me. He only wrapped his arms around me to hold me even tighter. I could swear that he enjoyed hearing me sigh so heavily. I could see the pleasure in his eyes once I looked at him again. I could tell from the way the corners of his lips widened into a magical smile.
“Tu es à moi,” he whispered for the third time. But now, there was a determination in his expression.
And then he kissed me again.
He continued trailing soft kisses all over my face until it tickled, and I burst out laughing.
This was divine!
There was a lava circulating in my veins now, and I wasn’t able to even lift my hand. I could just relish the stupefying relief that subdued every cell, every molecule of my body.
He didn’t speak anymore, he didn’t say a word, yet his eyes were glowing more and more as his lips marked every part of my neck.
I burst into another fits of giggles, I maybe tried to defend myself against further tickling. But it didn’t take me long to realize that I had no chance of winning in his grip. There was only one hope left. I needed to keep his mouth busy, and I immediately took advantage of it. For the thousandth and first time this evening, I pulled him close to press my lips to his.
A silent moan climbed out of his lungs, and I exhaled as he released me and collapsed into the pillows beside me. All the lust was gone, only the heavenly feeling remained, and my demon was suddenly too heavy for me.
He reached out for his T-shirt only to pull it over my head, and I didn’t complain. His captivating scent, damn, his clothes, this little blanket fort, even my skin smelled like him. And the icing on my extra delicious cake? The boy who´d won my heart stayed half-naked.
He kissed my forehead as he wrapped his arms around me. He probably had the impression that I wanted to go to sleep. And he was right, he was as I was pretty exhausted. Thanks to him. But I still needed to drink something. Maybe water. Maybe a shot.
And maybe I just needed a little minute to catch my breath, to be alone.
“Where are you going, Dove?”
I was surprised when my demon immediately sat up along with me. Hearing the panic in his voice, seeing the fear in his face, I got stuck.
I raised an eyebrow, unable to stop the confused expression. Nonetheless, it didn’t stop him from wrapping his arm around my belly, as if he wanted to prevent me from leaving.
“You’re not running away from me again, are you?”
The only question, a few words I heard coming out of his damn perfect mouth, and it was all clear to me. “You always run away from me when I kiss you,” he confirmed my assumption.
Yes, my eyebrows raised perhaps even more, but I couldn’t suppress a burst of laughter.
“You know,” I scratched my messy hair, wondering how to explain it to him, “I think this was a different level than just kissing. And besides, I live here. Where would I be running to? I´m just thirsty.”
He narrowed his mesmerizing eyes, he looked at me pretty suspiciously, and I had to try hard not to laugh again. Actually, it was quite cute to see my demon scared. Because of me.
“Shall I bring you water? I’ll bring you a glass of water, okey?”
What the hell have I done?
I leaned to him in attempt to calm him down with a gentle kiss. But as his hand dug into my hair as he pulled me to him, I seriously started to doubt whether I really needed the water. Whether there was anything besides his lips that I needed at all.
“I’ll be back in a minute,” I smiled when I managed to tear away from him. “I promise.”
It was a shot that I finally decided for.
My brain still didn’t work. Exactly like three hours ago when I was standing here, in Jim´s kitchen. Just like seven hours ago when he asked me to marry him.
I was waiting.
I expected some emotions to emerge. Perhaps cry of my heart. Or grumbling of my mind. Panic. Fear. Anything. But the only thing I felt right now was pure peace.
I had no idea what would happen next, whether the tonight´s events would affect us in any way. I had no idea whether he would stay or leave. But somehow, I didn’t feel the urge to deal with it.
He was there, I found him lying in my blanket fort when I came back to my room. And maybe I thought of asking whether he´d like to spend the night with me. However, I had my answer when he reached out his arms for me. And I didn’t deal with that either. I just snuggled up to him and let his breath tickle my neck again.
“By the way,” he broke the silence of the night, forcing me to look at him, “Tamara said that you forgot something at my place. I brought it to you.”
He pointed out somewhere behind the blankets that surrounded us, and I peeked to find a smaller, fairly flat object wrapped in a paper that looked like a thin book.
Or a photo in a frame.
Oh my Gosh!
A beautiful smile of my demon.
I longed to have a look at it one more time before I fall asleep, but there was no chance he wouldn’t see it either. I was sure that Tammy had packed it on purpose as I begged her not to tell him.
But… There it was.
His knee-breaking crooked smile that suddenly appeared on my demon’s lips made me understand. That he knew exactly what was hidden under that colored cover.
I went back to my paradise, because that´s what his embrace was to me. He spooned me, placing his face onto my neck.
The approaching sleep slowly controlled my mind, my eyelids suddenly seemed so heavy. I wasn’t sure whether I wasn’t already dreaming when I heard him whisper: “I don’t want us to be strangers anymore.”
The approaching sleep slowly conquered my body, my brain shut down completely. Yet, I muttered softly: “Me neither.”
* The Little Prince (Antoine de Saint-Exupéry)