How To Love Soren
“I will always love you.” -Tiberius
That was the first thought in Tiberius Daniel Durango’s mind at the sight of the lovely boy. He is gorgeous with his midnight black hair and bright bottle-green eyes, the build of his body is strong, not of an athlete but of someone who is not a stranger to heavy lifting. Ty wishes in the back of his mind that the boy would look his way, look, and say hi but it never worked. Ty was the kind of guy that all the girls had to have, the one with gorgeous looks and eyes, and a personality to die for. He could have any girl he wanted, hell any guy too, but there was only one he was interested in. Soren Mendoza. Ty sits in the back in math and English, in the back with a perfect view of Soren, despite how creepy that sounds. There was something about the boy that makes him smile, maybe it’s the way he is kind and helps kids, or the way he always knows the right answers in English class or the way he sits in the corner with a book open on his lap. Or maybe it’s everything.
The bell sounds to signal the end of class which immediately puts a frown on Ty’s face, he hates that bell because it means he has to be away from Soren. That boy always brings a smile to Ty’s face, he had always wanted to go talk to the boy but had been too nervous to, why would he want to talk to Ty? There is nothing Ty has that Soren could want, nothing that Soren would even consider looking at Ty for. It hurts but he can’t blame the boy, if he knew Ty’s home life he would just run away quicker. Everyone may see Ty as the king of the debate club, head jock on the soccer team, and ladies man but they have no idea who Ty really is, and he has no interest in showing them. But Soren was different, for some reason Ty wanted Soren to know him, to know the real him, to want him the way Ty wants Soren.
As they change classes Ty and Soren get to the door at the same time and their arms brush, it sends electricity through his body and he backs up, allowing Soren to leave before him. Soren smiles and mutters a small ‘thank you’ before walking away and leaving Ty speechless and hot.
Okay so Ty may be creepy, but he can’t help it, something about that boy is so alluring. He has never seen those green eyes look directly at him despite how much he wants them to, the draw he follows by Soren’s pull is pathetic, why would Soren even give him the time of day? He sees the boy walk into class, a book in his hand and his black sweatshirt covering his body—not that Ty had ever seen his body, but he imagines it would be as beautiful as he is to Ty. He watches as Soren looks down at his book with a smile on his lips, his perfect mouth making Ty’s heart flutter as he wonders what it would be like to kiss those lips, to feel that perfect mouth against his own, to feel his teeth gripping Ty’s lips but it’s just a dream. A dream he craves to be real someday. Maybe God will hear his prayer and give him the boy he wants to rescue him from his hell. He’ll be going to church on Sunday so he can ask then, Ty had been going to church his whole life and he loved it, the people there were so nice and kind, most had known him from infancy, but he wonders if they would treat him the same if they knew that he liked boys rather than girls. Ty is gay, there was no mistaking that, he had never felt anything for a girl but somehow that boy makes him crazy. All he can do is hope and pray right now.
It’s finally happening, the moment he had been waiting for has come. Soren asked him out and they went on a date at a park, Ty went back to Soren’s house and they had almost kissed before Soren’s mom interrupted. They had dinner with Saniya before she and her husband left for the night leaving Ty and Soren all alone with a bedroom and no adult supervision. He doesn’t know what possessed him to make a move first but he blinked and suddenly he was pressing Soren into the mattress and kissing the boy, holding back a growl in his throat at the absolute fire lighting in his belly after finally being able to kiss that boy. Soren told Ty he had been waiting for Ty to do that for so long and it took a lot of self-control to keep his mouth off of Soren for a minute, and this time he did it right, he asked to kiss Soren and in response, Soren wrapped his arms around Ty’s neck and pulled the taller boy’s head down to him to press his sweet-tasting and soft lips against Ty’s. Hands were touching each other, mouths were opened, hearts beat faster as their breath turned ragged.
Then Soren’s phone rang. Ty couldn’t help it, he couldn’t help it, so while Soren talked to his father Ty attached his lips to Soren’s neck smiling at the hitches in his voice. Ty comes across Soren’s earrings and it sends shivers down his body, he pulls the tiny diamonds in between his teeth as his tongue darts out against the bottom of Soren’s ear where he then proceeds to bite down. He stutters while talking to his father and when he lies and says he is cold Ty takes his sheet and blanket and covers them, really only covering their lower halves as Ty was still perched on top of Soren; his action only made Soren shiver harder until Soren said goodbye to his father and asked Ty to spend the night.
How could Ty ever say no to sleeping next to this boy? He had said nothing would happen but there would be no complaint from Ty on something happening, he somehow got the courage to ask Soren to be his boyfriend and his heart exploded when Soren said yes. It was the best night of his life when he woke up with Soren in his arms, his head snuggled in Ty’s neck and he knew right there that he wanted to marry this boy, and someday he would.
Finally. It took eight years but they were finally where they were supposed to be standing at the altar saying their vows and slipping wedding rings onto each other’s fingers. They were finally married. They were finally able to lay next to each other and call each other husband, finally able to run their fingers through each other’s hair and feel the ring catch on the hair and pull not that either minded the pain. They no longer had to worry about others flirting because they were married, they no longer had to fear losing each other because they were bound by law and body, mind and soul. And it has never felt better.
The pain is so bad. It shoots through his body like he was struck by lightning, like his body was on fire and everything he touched was like acid in his wounds. Why was he in so much pain? He had the best life. A beautiful husband, a grand house, a Muppy Pichael, a large bed in which he gets to wake up next to his husband for the rest of forever. So why does he still feel pain? He wanted to talk to Soren about it but he couldn’t, he couldn’t put Soren in that position and make him suffer as well so he kept it to himself, he suffered in pain alone until the morning he couldn’t take it anymore. He had taken those pills and he hated himself for doing it, he hated that he had decided to end his life and leave his husband a widow, leaving everything he had and loved behind because he was too scared to ask for help and be seen as weak.
He woke Soren up, planning to take him to the park where they had their first date to tell him he loved him, to have one more day with his love before he ended it. The dosage he took would take him around dinner so he wanted to have lunch with Soren, to hold him, sleep with him one last time before he was gone. That had not happened. Ty was losing his temper, a temper that he knew wasn’t his own, when Soren yelled at him it was the last straw, he knew he had reached his breaking point so he ran downstairs and took double the dose before Soren came looking for him. He begged Soren to let him go, to not follow him when he left, but Soren, being the stubborn thing Ty fell in love with, refused to let him go. He collapsed in his husband’s arms and he heard his husband’s final words, the words he would die knowing. “I love you my Tiber. I love you, Ty.”
He was gone.