Heal with my Heart

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Chapter 17

Hannah’s POV

I did not visit Jack for the next two days. I could not bring myself in front of him. What would I say when I see him? I could not show my anger at his current state. But, at the same time, I could not act as if I had forgotten the whole thing between us. I was so confused. Mr. Perez knew that I hadn’t visited Jack, but he had never uttered a word.

I called Paige to take my mind out of everything.

“Hey, Hannah,” Paige called me.

“Hey, Paige. How are you doing?”

She chuckled at my question. “Hannah, we just spoke a couple of days earlier. What happened to you?”

“Yes… Look, are you free now?” I asked her.

“What happened, Hannah?” she asked me.

“Paige, Jack met with an accident,” I told her.

“Jack?” she was silent for a moment and asked, “Mr. Martinez?”

“Yes,” I answered.

“How do you know? Before that, what is he doing there?” She asked me.

“You see, Jack is my new client, and we are in the process of taking his company’s account works. But yesterday couple of days back, he met with an accident.”

“Hold on.” She stopped me. “I am skyping you now.” With that, she cut the call.

I sat in front of my laptop and opened the skype. And the next second, I got the call from Paige. I accepted that call.

“Hey, Paige.”

“Don’t hey me, Hannah. Tell me from the first.” She demanded.

“What?”

“I have a feeling that you are not saying everything. So spill.” She said.

I told her right from the day I met Jack at Kelly and Mathew’s anniversary party, his misconception about me, how he learned the truth, his promise to make things right, how my firm took his project with me as his CRO, and finally his accident.

“Wow.” Said Paige.

I chuckled at her answer. “I told so many things, and you are saying just wow.”

She stared at me with narrowed eyes. “Why haven’t you said anything to me?”

“I was not myself, with the turn of events, and everything happened very fast. I haven’t spoken to mom and dad about this yet.” I told her.

“How is Mr. Martinez?” Paige asked me.

“He is hit pretty badly. And they say that it was his fault and he ran on a red light. What was he thinking, Paige? Can’t he drive carefully?” I lamented at her.

Paige did not say anything but smiled at me.

“What?” I asked her.

“Do you want to see him?” she asked with empathy.

“I don’t know, Paige,” I said with a sigh and continued. “I am angry at him. He betrayed me, that too, for something I haven’t done. Even though he did for his sister, I am angry at what he had done to me. I could not show my complete anger at him since he now realized his mistakes; at the same time, I could not digest what had happened to me. And to think that he is responsible for that, I could not forgive him. And now, in his current situation, how can I show my anger? But at the same time, I cannot hide my real feelings. I am so frustrated at my situation.” I told her.

“Oh, Hannah!” Paige whispered. “What does your heart want?” she asked me.

“I don’t know,” I told her.

“You see, your heart still wants him. But your anger is screening the feeling.” She told me.

“No, Paige.” I shook my head, and she simply smiled at me.

“Ok, leave that. Does he know about Timmy?”

“No. I haven’t told him.” I said back.

“Don’t you think he should know about Timmy?” I got angered at her words.

“Why? Why should he know? He may atone for his actions now. But his actions at the time when Timmy was formed, how can he justify that? Please don’t say that Timmy needs a father, and so I should tell him.”

Seeing Paige’s reaction, I asked her, “What Paige, Am I confusing you?”

She was silent for minutes and then spoke to me, “You know what? You are in between past and present. You were neither able to let go of the past nor be in the present. You are too wounded to let go of the past, but it is also hindering your happiness. So you need to let go of past not for him, but for the sake of your peace of mind.”

I was silent at her words. I can able to understand her words, but something is stopping me from letting them go.

Paige continued, “And yes, Timmy needs a father. Are you ready to find another man in your life who can be a father to him?”

I glared at Paige. “Why are we talking about this?”

“See, Timmy needs a father figure in his life. If you are not ready to find another man for you, you need to bring Jack into your life. Wait, I am not talking anything about you and Jack getting together again. That is something you need to decide about. Think about your childhood with your dad. Do you want to deny that to Timmy?”

I was silent at her words. Was I not fair to Timmy because of my anger?

Seeing my thoughtful face, Paige called me. “Hannah, whatever you decide, I am with you.” She said. I smiled at her.

“Thanks, Paige. You are a wonderful friend.” I said to her and cut the call.

I pondered on Paige’s words all night, and I finally concluded. Let me visit Jack, but I will not tell about Timmy for now. Let him recover, and in the meantime, I will see if he is genuine to me. I will then talk about Timmy to him. With that decision, I slept with a somewhat clear mind.

The following day, I woke up to see and got ready for the day. I prepared breakfast and fixed lunch for Timmy and kept it in the refrigerator. Once Katie was in, I kissed Timmy goodbye.

“You look beautiful today Hannah,” Katie said with a smile.

Oh! Was it obvious? My cheeks flushed slightly, but I tried to answer casually, “Is it? I don’t know, Katie.”

Before Katie asked another question, I left the house. I messaged Adam that I would be late today and went straight to the hospital. Once I entered the hospital, I enquired about Jack at the reception desk and went to the room.

Once I stood in front of his room, I was hesitant to enter. Finally, letting out a big sigh, I knocked on the door. Rafe, Jack’s brother, opened the door, and he smiled, looking at me.

“Hannah.” He said and gave way for me to enter.

I entered to see Jack lying down on his bed. Her face brightened at seeing me, and she smiled at me.

“Hey.” He said.

“Hey, Jack,” I said.

Rafe cleared his throat and said that he would get himself a coffee and would be back. I sat next to him.

“How are you?” He asked me, and I chuckled at his question.

“How am I? Jack, you are asking this to me? How are you?”

He tried to shrug his shoulders but scrunched his face in pain. “I am fine.” He said.

I became angry at his answer. “Fine? Look at you. What are you thinking, Jack? They said that you ran on the red light. Why did you do that? Where were your thoughts while you were driving?” I scolded him.

He looked at me with a smile and said, “I was thinking about you.”

“Are you saying that I was responsible for this?” I asked him.

“No. I am responsible for this. But what I said was true. I was thinking about you and never noticed the traffic light.” He answered.

I sighed without an answer.

“Hannah, please. I am not saying this for you to feel guilty. Or to feel sorry for me. I am telling you the truth. I cannot lie to you.”

I stared at him when he said those words. His face showed remorse at my reaction.

“Earlier too, I haven’t lied to you. I had hidden the truth. But this time, I am laying my soul bare.” He said to me.

I did not want to continue the conversation, so I told him. “Let us not talk about this. You need rest. And recover soon.”

He sighed and nodded as he understood my feelings.

“Will you come and see me every day? I could not bear the hospital stay. But if you say that you will visit me every day, it will make me better.”

I smiled and nodded at him. “Ok. But I need to leave now.” I said and got up.

“Hannah.” It turned as Jack called me. “Do you want to say anything else?” He asked me.

“No.” I shook my head. His face showed heavy disappointment at my answer.

My heart skipped a beat at his reaction. What did he want me to say? Did he know about Timmy already?

“What?” I asked him.

He smiled and shook his head, saying nothing. I could see the smile did not reach his eyes. So I nodded my head and left with confusion.

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