Grasping Chords (Book 5)

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Gabe Saunders is the lead guitarist for the Hard Rock band Black Heart. He has been MIA from important band situations and the men of Black Heart are beginning to get a little suspicious. Why is he always late? Why is he so hard to reach? Why is his new house off limits? What happens when his secrets finally start to weight on him? Will he have to keep his his secrecy, since it isn't his alone? What lengths will he go to, to come clean with friends and family?

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Chapter 1


“Gabe!” Her voice echoed through our large, empty house. I could hear the front door slam shut all the way from the game room at the other end, and knew I was in trouble instantly but continued my solo game of pool, nonetheless.

I knew I would be in trouble before I did it, but the instant that I received the text that read; Are you alone? I knew she was on her way home to scold me and it excited me.

Fortunately, the punishment was a risk that I had been willing to take when I jumped through that fiery hoop today and stepped through that inevitable portal. The one that opened up our underground relationship to the public.

“Gabriel Saunders!” She howled. It caused me to lose my concentration and I scratched.

“Fuck. I was doing so well too.” I muttered, watching my cue ball as it sunk into the side pocket.

“What the fuck, Gabe?!” I had my back to her and was dying to turn around, just to see her little face all scrunched up in anger, but first I wanted to poke that fire. Just a little bit more. Get those flames that I liked to see burning even hotter.

“Do you have a knife?” I poked fun, “Because it sounds like you’re angry enough to stab me in the back.”

“No, I wouldn’t stab you in the back, Gabriel,” She snarled, “I would do it from the front. That way you would know it was me.”

Her shoes clicked louder and I knew she was in the room now.

When I turned to face where she stood in the doorframe, her long, straight, white hair was the first thing I saw. Then, I focused on her outfit.

She had a photo shoot today and was wearing a cherry red corset with leather pants and pointy black heels. The woman knew how to tease without even trying.

“What’s wrong with you?” I smiled, knowing full well what was wrong with her.

“Honestly?!” Her cherry red lips puckered in anger, “Are you trying to complicate things?!”

“What the fuck did I do wrong?” Knowing damn well what I did, I smiled and stood upright, tossing my pool stick on the table.

“We agreed that no one would know about us!” She placed her hands on her hips.

“You made the rule, I let you play your game for over a year now.” I crossed my arms, “I’ve done everything you fucking wanted. I came back from Maine and bought my own place so you could fucking come and go as you pleased and not have to worry about anyone seeing you. I fucking keep my distance from you in public and hide our relationship from my friends and family. What the fuck more do want?!”

“What the fuck was with the flowers?!” She snapped, “You knew that I was in that interview with Rock Daily! We were doing our photo shoot!”

"How does that work, with Bree being pregnant and all?" My head tilted in thought.

"A backwards chair, Gabe." She scoffed, "Talk!"

“It’s our anniversary.” I shrugged, with a sly smile, “Most women would love to get flowers.”

“Don’t get fucking smart!” She snapped, “You know the whole band was there when I got them!”

“You wanted to wait to tell people, to make sure it worked out between us, fine.” I snapped back, “But it’s been over a year, we don't fight unless I provoke it to get a rise. I have the right to buy you flowers.”

“Buy them for me, yes.” She argued with her hands. It was so cute, “But don’t send them to our interviews! Do you know how many questions I had to answer because of them?! I had to lie to Ree and tell her they were from another support group that I joined!”

"How many support groups are you involved in now, by the way?" I furrowed my brow at her, but was unable to hide my smile.

"Like, seven!" She snorted.

“So, I’m supposed to buy flowers and leave them here?!” I asked through clenched teeth, “This isn’t a game anymore, Liv!”

“I’m not ready yet!”

“Well I fucking am!” I yelled, “We’re married! We live together, and we sure as hell are fucking each other! Why the fuck are you still holding back, Lou?!”

One year ago…


Chris took off on his own. He was pissed at Ree, because she left with some fucking idiot from a rival band. Their relationship was a strange one and no one really knew what to think.

Jason had wandered off with Cortney, for some alone time before she had to return home to their kids. They had a beautiful family, but Brianna was time consuming and they rarely had alone time, so I didn’t blame them for wanting the alone time.

Nick took off with a few strippers and Asher was long gone with a couple chicks himself. Women were not hard to come by when you were one of the top bands in the world, I just wasn't looking for a tramp.

I had wandered to the bar alone, when I spotted the blonde from our opening act a few chairs down.

She was a good looking chick, with long blonde hair, blue eyes and a long, lean body that was all tatted up.

I sat 2 chairs down from her and found myself wondering why she never had a guy around her. There wasn’t a lack of guys around and I watched as she turned them all down and stared into her glass.

“What’s your damage?” I asked her. She looked up at me in surprise.

“Just drowning my sorrows, that’s all.” She sighed, “It’s a regular celebration in my head.”

“What you got to be sad about?” I asked with a sly smirk.

“This is just a hard week for me.” Her eyes strained, looking into her glass again for something that wasn’t there, “It used to be hard on Ree too, but apparently she’s forgotten...”

“Forgotten what?”

“We lost her sister four years ago today.” Her concentration hung on her drink and she took another swig before continuing on, “She was my wife.”

“Oh.” What did someone say to that?

The girl was into chicks. That was cool. Whatever floats one’s boat and all that. Least I didn’t have to worry about her trying to get in my pants, like these chicks that were into my money and fame. Although that could get interesting all in its own, but it also got boring.

“Name’s Gabe.” I slid over and put my hand out to shake hers, she looked at it before taking it.

“Louise Nevarez.” She shook my hand, “Friends call me Lou.”

“Nice to formally meet you, Lou.”

“Nice to actually meet you face to face, Gabe.” She smiled with a nod.

“So you’re here to drown your sorrows?” I looked at her drink.

“Yup, you?”

“Misery loves company?” I eyed her for a second then explained, “Everyone’s hooking up, but I’m just looking to chill tonight.”

“Girls in this club just ain’t doin’ it for ya, huh?” She smiled slyly, knowing what I meant.

“Not one bit.” I chuckled and sat back in my chair, looking around, “Too much flounce. I like my chicks a little more natural. Less posh, more rugged.”

“I agree.” She gave a nod, taking the same approach to scope the room, “The less pampered and primped the easier the flow. Don’t get me wrong, a little nail polish and lipstick goes a long way, just don’t over do it and stay away from the pink.”

“Girl after my own heart.” We met with a fist bump.

“So is this your new agenda for tonight?” She asked, “Hanging at the bar, talking to the lesbian?”

“Guess so.” I huffed a laugh, “Nothing better to do.”

“Cool.” She examined me, “If I get drunk enough, I can pretend you’re a chick. Your hair is pretty enough.”

“My hair is pretty enough?” I chuckled, folding one of my long strands behind my ear. This chick was already three sheets.

“It’s really long.” She laughed, examining my hair, “Yeah. You’d make a pretty chick.”

“Hey, it’s shaved on the sides, that's not feminine! I pull it back sometimes so it looks good.” I shrugged, “It’s manly.”

She was looking at me, concentrating so hard that when her eyes met mine and she laughed, it caught me off guard. She was laughing so hard that she even snorted.

“Did you just snort?” I started to laugh with her.

“Sorry.” She said when she finally calmed a little, “The look on your face when I said-”

“Well, you’re decent looking yourself, I guess you’d make a pretty chick too.” I ruefully commented. Her eyes widened in shock, but she started in on another laughing fit.

“Fair game.” She agreed when the laughing had died down.

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