"It better not be your useless date," Ray muttered under his breath and leaned against his door while I looked at the caller ID.
It was my Grandma.
Fuck, did she sense that I was doing something wrong?
I swear these elder people have some kind of special radar to detect all our sneaky encounters.
"It's my grandma. Shush!" I silenced him and walked a few feet away from his door before picking up the call.
"Hey Grandma, how are you?" I asked in a chirpy voice and looked at my watch.
It was way past midnight.
Damn, how long were we making out?
"I'm fine, beta. Were you asleep? I just felt like hearing your voice. I miss you so much."
I smiled at her response and realised how much I missed her too. It's been almost four months since I had left home and I've been so caught up with my classes and all the boy drama.
Not that I was complaining.
"I wasn't sleeping and ofcourse, I miss you too, grandma. I wish I could come home right away. How is your pilgrimage?" I asked her and turned around to find Ray looking at me with an adorable smile on his face.
"It is so beautiful, Ridhi. Even though I'm enjoying it, you should remember that you are always in my prayers, beta."
"I know, grandma. It's beautiful here too." I smiled, looking straight into his deep magnetic blue eyes.
"I've heard a lot about it from you dad. I'm so glad that you are loving it there."
She thought I was talking about Texas. I shook my head, forcefully pulling my gaze away from him.
"Have you been taking your meds regularly?" I asked, changing the topic and suddenly I felt his arms slip around my waist, pulling me back against a muscular chest and my eyes went wide in shock.
What was he trying to do?
"Yes,beta. Don't worry about me. I'm perfectly alright."
Okay! Time to end the call.
"Okay, grandma. I--I need to go now. It's urgent," I tried to end the call quickly when I felt his lips on the back of my neck.
Oh my God!
"Kya beta? Why are you breathless? Are you feeling sick?"
"Nahi, grandma. I'm just--" I couldn't speak any further as his lips travelled further south down to my collarbone and his hands were busy tracing the bare skin on my waist.
"I need to use the restroom," I blurted out quickly and felt him smile against my skin.
"Okay, beta. Brush your teeth also before going to bed. Love you."
"Love you too," I cut the call immediately and turned around to face him.
"You are such a jerk," I pouted, pushing him away from me.
"Then when didn't you stop me before?" he asked with a sexy smirk knowing that I wouldn't be able to answer it.
"What if my grandma had heard you?"
"She didn't and relax, it's just your grandma. It's not like it was your mom or dad on the call right," he said in a teasing manner and tried to pull me closer.
I went silent while he lifted my chin so that I would meet his gaze. I haven't told him about my parents and I wasn't sure if I was ready to talk to him about it.
That was a chapter I never wanted to open as it would mentally crush me.
Maybe one day but definitely not today.
"Hey, I was just kidding. Look at me,Ridhi."
I quickly blinked away my unshed tears as I didn't want him to notice it.
"Should I kiss you again to make you smile?" he asked, brushing the back of his hand against my cheeks and I tried so hard to suppress my smile but it was obviously useless.
"Shut up." I mumbled and tried to look away as I felt a blush creeping up on my cheeks
"Well, I was going to do it anyway."
He kissed me softly, brushing his lips against mine as if he was afraid to hurt me and his musky cologne was driving me insane with need and desire. It only made me even more addicted to him.
How can some be the epitome of perfection?
"Fuck, I can't stop kissing you." He whispered, pecking at my lips once again and it was just like he had read my mind or something.
I feel you, Ray.
The feeling is mutual.
"Ummm...you should get some sleep." I added shyly, biting my lips and he took my hand leading me inside his bedroom.
The only room which I haven't seen in this whole apartment.
And it was screamed of him. The walls were painted in a light shade of ash and a kind size bed dominated the centre of the room. There was a model house sitting ideally on his study table at the further end of the room and I was curious to go have a look at it. I assumed that it must be his latest model for work.
A huge poster of a football club that I had no idea about was hanging on the wall but apart from that I could not find any other photos of his family or friends or anything.
"Are you going to stand there and admire my room all night?"
I turned to the direction of his voice only to find him already on his bed under the sheets and he tapped the spot right next to him, indicating me to join.
"No funny business, I swear." He raised his hands in defense with a goofy smile plastered on his face. I rolled my eyes with a small smile and joined him on the bed.
Who would have thought I would end up in a guy's bed let alone a hot one?
He immediately pulled me closer, making me gasp at his sudden movement and I tried to steady my breathing pace as I didn't want him to know that I was affected by his touch.
"Are you nervous?" he breathed against the back of my neck and I swallowed hard, wondering how he had sensed it.
"What? No!" I let out a nervous chuckle and he pushed himself even more closer from behind.
"Now?" he asked again and I was in no position to deny the fireworks exploding in my body.
I closed my eyes and remained silent, knowing that he was well aware of the way he made me feel.
"No point in lying, sweetheart. I can feel your heartbeat." He let out a deep throaty laugh and I rolled my eyes at his cockiness, knowing that he wouldn't be able to see me.
"Comfortable?" he asked after a while and I just hummed in response.
"Can I ask you something?" I asked after a long pause hoping that he wasn't already asleep.
"Anything except the nightmare," he replied which only piqued my interested and now I was even more curious to know about his nightmare than before.
But that wasn't the question I wanted to ask so I pushed that in the back of my mind.
"Why did you stop sleeping around all of a sudden?" I finally asked him the question that was eating me alive and held my breath waiting for his response and he remained silent for a long time.
Just when I thought he fell asleep, I heard his deep voice from behind.
"Because I couldn't...well, I couldn't perform." He tried to find the right words to explain it to me without being blunt but I understood it very well.
"You mean....ummm you couldn't have a--"
"Yup, I wasn't attracted to anyone and then the other day on the couch, I was surprised when I had a hard-on sleeping next to you." He explained, making me feel confused and angry, "Just like I have one right now," he added, placing a small kiss near my ears.
I wasn't sure if I should feel offended or proud that I gave him a boner.
"So you kissed me because you are attracted to me?" I asked already knowing the answer to my question and I felt my heart being shattered into pieces.
"Of course, I'm attracted to you like crazy. Isn't it obvious?" He groaned, pushing his dick against my ass and as much as my body was burning with desire and I wanted to feel him more, I was mentally feeling vulnerable and hurt.
So he didn't kiss me because he liked me.
"Right. Gotcha." I closed my eyes shut, trying to hold back my tears.
I did this to myself.
I could have stopped him when he kissed me but I wanted this too and I was equally attracted to him as well. I can't obviously throw a fit and blame him for kissing me.
Why am being such a masochist?
I should have know.
This isn't a fucking movie where the player miraculously falls in love with an average chick.
"Are you asleep?"
I didn't respond even though I was fully awake and I knew that I wasn't going to get sleep anytime sooner.
Minutes turned into hours and I sensed that he had fallen asleep. I wanted to remain in his warm embrace forever but that isn't how life works and life as such is a cruel bitch.
That's when I made up my mind.
I was not going to have my heart broken another time. My parents death was worse enough to ruin me forever and I didn't need another person in my life to leave me again.
The next morning, I woke up early and decided to go to the library to do some online jobs that I had enrolled earlier as my classes were only in the afternoon.
I definitely didn't want to be in the same room as him with so much sexual tension surrounding us. I slowly got out of the bed and turned around to look at his sleeping form. He looked so beautiful under the early morning ray's of sun that were seeping through his window.
I leaned over, planted a small kiss on his forehead and quickly rushed out of the room before I could change my mind. I let out a huge breath once I was outside and wondered how my life changed in one single evening.
I had my first date with one hot guy.
I had my first kiss with another hot guy.
And I ended up in his bed, knowing that he can never be mine.
How am I going to fight my feeling for this sexy asshole?
Baby steps, Ridhi.
I encouraged myself and started to get ready for the day. Once I was all showered and dressed up in a black crop top and a short pleated skirt, I made my way towards the kitchen to make some pancakes and coffee.
Out of habit, I made some for him and left it covered on the kitchen counter. Just when I was about to grab my things and hear outside, he came out of his room with a confused look on his face.
"Woah! Where are you going dressed up like that? You don't have class until afternoon today right?" he interrogated me, running his eyes all over my body in his sleepy daze.
Aww, did he actually memorize my class schedule?
He looked like a lost little kid with his hair sticking out in all directions and an adorable pout on his lips.
Stay strong, Ridhi.
"I'm heading over to the library to do some work." I replied, fidgeting with my bag and not meeting his gaze.
"You could have told me before sneaking out. I would have dropped you in my bike."
Oh, how I missed his death ride.
He started to walk towards me and I knew he was about to kiss me but I had to stop him and that's what I did.
"Wait, Ray. Listen...umm.." I started but I was at loss for words and blinked hard, trying to form a proper sentence in my mind.
"Last night was amazing. But this...." I gestured between us,"This.We can't happen and I can't just be the reason of your boner. That's not enough for me."
"Come on, Ridhi. I don't do relationships and why are over thinking this?" he rolled his eyes, running his fingers through his hair.
Memories of the kiss from last night flashed right across my face. The way my fingers were buried in his luscious locks and the way he pressed my boobs.
I shook my head before I could think any further and let out a huge sigh.
Don't do relationships, my ass.
Relationships meant everything to me and even though I had a loving grandmother and a best friend who would give her life for me. I've always felt like there was something missing in my life.
The care of a mother and the warmth and protection of a father.
I wanted someone to care about me, protect me, fight with me, love me at my best, at my worst, to sit with me in silence and go crazy with me at the same time and make me feel that spark inside.
And the spark alone is just not enough from him.
"Well, relationships are everything to me, Ray. And as much as I am flattered that you were turned on by me, I'm pretty sure you can manage with tons of porn."
I gave him a fake smile and dashed out of the room, leaving him dumbfounded.
Phew! Way to make a dramatic exit!
That went well I guess and I was glad that I was able to get it all out without breaking down in front of him.
Beta (Hindi) - Dear
Nahi (Hindi) - No