Apartment No : 107

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Chapter Thirty-One

"I'm sorry, what?!" I jerked, turning around to face him with shock evident on my face.

Way to being less dramatic!

"I... I told you I'm fucked up. She would be alive today if it weren't for me, Ridhi, and I would never forgive myself for that." He spoke with so much sadness in his voice and I didn't know what to make out of his vague speech. I didn't know if I should push him further or just be silent with this piece of information.

What did he mean by this?

I mean, he couldn't have killed her.

That's for sure.

Or did he?

No! Fuck, no.


"Let me put you out of your misery before you could give me any more horrifying expressions. I didn't kill her technically, in case you were wondering," he let out a dry chuckle, making me snap out of my thoughts.

"No, no...I'm just trying to figure it all out without pushing you for more details." I tried to explain, hoping that he can sense that I'm not afraid of him.

"I'm not scared or terrified. I'm here for you, Ray." I added, placing my wet palm on his face and he pulled me closer, making me rest my head against his chest.

"I've never talked about this with anyone. Not even Adam." He started, his breath fanning my forehead and I remained still, listen to every word pouring out of his mouth with so much focus.

I could feel his heart beating so fast and I placed my hand as a sign of comfort and assurance which made him go on.

"I was always a Mama's boy, very close to her and she loved me a lot too. We were a small, happy family, me, my mom and my dad. We were on the wealthy side because my dad worked so hard and built an empire for us. I used to respect him a lot and he was like a role model for me. He used to spend a lot of time with us and was always involved in everything unlike other dad's I've seen." He paused, letting out a sarcastic laugh.

"It was only later when I figured out that it was all a fucking act and he was doing everything for us, not out of love but out of his guilt."

I could sense the anger and pain behind his voice which made my heartbreak. I couldn't believe that a good man like his dad would hurt his family.

"It found out when I was 17 years old that my dad was having an affair. I happened to drop by his office one day and found him having a heated argument with a woman around my mom's age." He took a deep breath and I felt his body go rigid as if he was finding it hard to talk about it.

"You don't have to, Ray. I can--"

"No, I want to. You need to know me. All the ugly parts too, Ridhi." He stated firmly, shutting me up in an instant, and continued.

"I was able to hear their argument loud and clear since the walls were soundproof. They were fighting about a boy named Simon and something about custody. They stopped talking when they saw me through the glass doors and the woman left his office immediately, guilt written all over her face. When I went inside and confronted my dad, he told me the entire truth about his affair and also about his illegitimate son," he spoke through gritted teeth and I saw him gripping the bathtub so tight that his knuckles turned white.

"I have never been so angry in my life like I had been that day. I stormed out of his office and started driving to nowhere. That's when I got a call from my mom to pick her up from the grocery store because her car had broken down." He started breathing heavily as he spoke every word and I was feeling every bit of his pain which made me cry. I could almost guess what happened next but I was so scared to hear him say it.

"I hated that she was trusting my dad and so hopelessly in love with him. She didn't deserve this and I wanted to break it to her immediately so I drove to the store to pick her up and once she got in, I started telling her about him. I was freaking out and so scared that my mom was going to get her heartbroken but she was sitting still, not looking even a bit surprised and that's when it struck me." His voice broke a little and my eyes went wide in shock.

No!

I lifted my head to look at his face and noticed tears, falling down his cheeks.

"She knew, Ridhi. She had known all along, all those years. They both lied to me and showed me what a happy family would look like," he broke down, sobbing against my neck and I held him so tight like my entire life depended on him.

I couldn't imagine what it must have been like for him to realize that his whole life had been a lie.

"I was angrier at my mom than my dad because she hid the truth from me. I thought we were close and I was not a 5-year-old kid for fucks sake. I was freaking 17 years old,"

"I know, baby." I sobbed along with him but I tried to stay strong and rubbed his back, trying my best to console my broken man.

"I...I got even more mad and furious at her for knowing about this the whole time and yet hiding the truth from me. I started yelling and lashing out at her as I drove and she tried to console me but I didn't let her talk. I said...I said I hated her and I never wanted to see her ever again in my life and... " He started to shake and I squeezed my eyes shut.

No! He can't blame him for this.

God!


"And when she was about to say something, I took my eyes off the road, and just like that everything went upside down in a blink. Our car collapsed as I hit a truck that was coming in the opposite direction and.." he wasn't able to speak anymore as he continued to cry out loud.

"I should have seen it. It's my fault, Ridhi. I took my eyes off the road. I told my mom I hated her and I never wanted to see her ever again. Those were my last words to her,"

It's not his fault.

Not at all.


"Oh my God, Ray." I couldn't stop crying as I cradled his lap. My heart was bursting out for him and all I wanted to do was to make him realize that he was not a bad son, that it wasn't his fault.

"It's not your fault, baby. It was an accident. You are not responsible for this," I spoke through my tears but he pulled back from me, giving me a look of disbelief.

"Are you crazy, Ridhi? Or do you love me so much that you are blinded by my darkness? My own mom must hate me for killing her," he snapped, shaking his head as I wiped his tears away.

"No! You were just an angry and lost kid who was hurt by your parents. You didn't mean those words and I know that because I know you and I love that guy I know. You lashed out in anger and it's only normal to react in that way but you didn't kill her, Ray." I tried to console him but all I could see was pain in his eyes.

"I've really made you go insane, haven't I?" He let out a dry chuckle, resting back against the bathtub as he held back his sobs.

"I can't say that I can fully understand your pain, Ray because only you can feel that but I know how it's like to lose the person you love because I have a lot of experience in that area," I gave him a sad smile while he wiped my tear-stained cheeks, kissing my forehead.

"I can promise you that you are not alone in this anymore. You have me for life because I...I love you, all of you even the ugly parts." I finished, kissing him softly and I felt him shiver against our kiss.

"Not gonna lie, for a moment I thought you would be bolting through that door." He spoke against my lips, letting out a small chuckle.

"Never."

"And your mom would never hate you because she knows how much you are struggling with the pain and guilt. She knows you didn't mean those words and I'm sure she wants you to be happy now, Ray." I whispered softly, rubbing my hands against his jawline and he gave me a soft smile, his eyes going warm and he kissed me again.

"Well, if she is watching then she would know that I am indeed happy now because of a girl named, Ridhi D'Souza." He added with a small wink, making me roll my eyes.

"Ummm...thanks for telling me everything, Ray. It really means a lot to me and I feel so special and even closer to you." I stated honestly, giving him a warm smile.

"It was about time and I trust you completely to bare myself to you." He whispered, kissing my forehead, and continued, "Fuck, are you sure you still love me?" he asked, still with that hint of doubt in his voice.

"Yeah, I'm sure and I know you love me too," I added with a small smirk as I got out of the bathtub.

"What?! Th--That's not true." he let out a loud shriek as I wrapped a towel around my body and turned around to face him with raised eyebrows.

"Yeah sure," I scoffed, shaking my head with a small smile.

"I mean..how can you say? I... I don't even know myself." He asked, getting out of the bathtub in all his naked glory, making me lick my lips involuntarily.

"Uhh...that's for me to know and for you to find out, Mr.Architect." I cleared my throat, giving him a huge grin but he pulled me closer by gripping the ends of my towel, making me gasp.

"Tell me," he asked, looking straight into my eyes, his hands slowly removing my towel. He tried to flirt his way but I shook my head, standing my ground firmly.

"No way!" I smirked, pulling the towel from his grip, and walked outside the bathroom, adding an extra sway to my hips, and heard him groan from behind.

He was completely in love with me and I was 100 percent sure of it.

Sometimes words aren't necessary to understand a few things.

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