This Way

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Chapter 16

Mother was already home by the time I got there which made me mad because why didnt she just pick me up? I felt the abrupt fervour of rage that was deeply rooted inside my heart, the sensation made my body tremble, my feelings were turbulent as I felt the urge to curse my mother out for her betrayal.

"Are you serious?"
"Ah welcome home... what is it?"
"Why why! Didn't you bring me home?"

I was infuriated mother rarely gets on my nerves.

"Didnt Tyler bring you home?"
That's not the fucking point you could have done it your
damn self
"Okay so what's the problem?"
"Mother! What is wrong with you I told you to let me drive my own damn car! And instead of picking me up you just punt me off to some guy!?"

I know I'm overreacting and I know I'm just venting my frustration on her but still.
I hate that I'm like this, this weak, needy, overly emotional individual that I've become, all over some guy that I haven't even known for a month.

"You wanna say that again?"
Oh shit she's mad
Fucking hell! Mother I'm sorry I'm not really mad at you I didn't mean to.

Is what I'd like to say but it's too late isn't it?

"Shour at me again and I'll smack you so hard across the face you'll have fingers for teeth and my handprint as a new face tattoo"

Wow scary and yet she managed to be creative
She said all that with a blank expression on her face, now any normal person would say that they couldn't tell whether someone is joking or not especially if they had an inscrutable look on their face but nope I know my mother and she is furious right now.

Her sudden outburst made me jump for shock as well as fear for my life even more than I already did

"Little girl, answer me!"
I felt like crying to be honest I have never once gotten in trouble with mother at least never to the point where she would shout at me.

"Y...yes mother?"
"Have you lost your damn mind, who did you think you were talking to"

It wasn't a question so I didn't answer.
"Young lady sit your ass down and tell me what's wrong. What in the world could have possibly made you forget that you were raised properly."

"Mother it's nothing I just had a really bad day"

"So bad that you got mad and disrespected your Jamaican mother, damn must have been a really bad day"

"I'm sorry, I feel really bad about that"
"So what happened?"
"You do realise that, that makes no sense right?"

I know it makes no sense but how can I tell you? I don't want you to be disappointed in me, I loathe myself so much right now that all else is incongruous. I am no longer the daughter you think I am I've become weak and submissive simply a disappointment.

"OK look I won't force you to tell me what's wrong with you or what happend I know you've always been hard on yourself so tell me when you're ready. But Roneila I am your mother and I love you I really hope you know that I will always be here and there for you."

"Yes I know"
"OK great I'll deal with dinner so go wash up Noviscka and Tyler will be here at 6"
"Okay... Noviscka? You guys are on a first name basis now?"
"Hell yeah your mommy has gone and made a new BFF.
"Eww... mommy? When have I ever called you that?"
"Come on can't you call me mommy just once"
"Nope that term of endearment is reserved for grandma only"
"Ugh whatever get outta my sight begone peasant"
"By the way mother no one says BFF anymore at least not out loud"

I sat on my bed for a while thinking about how try amazing mother is she didn't pressure me to say anything and I'm thankful.

"Roniela the guest are here!"
"Coming mother!"

I came downstairs happily my earlier conversation with mother had made me feel better, I had forgotten about the days embarrassment and oddly about who our guests were.

That being said the moment I saw him I felt uneasy, I felt like throwing up, it seems being in the same room as him and my mother together made me nervous.

"Heey bestie!" The sudden outburst of mother and her new best friend squealing brought my mind back to reality since it seem to have gone blank at the sight of the embodiment of the term 'egotistical fuck boy'. Despite my feelings I greeted them accordingly.

Dinner was loud and exciting for mother and Mrs Chandler that is. Tyler and I just ate until our plates were empty then he began to stare at me relentlessly, which made me uncomfortable but I refuse to give him attention. Tyler had become a bad habit of mine, I'd indulge in him, he was entertaining and although he was bossie being with him made me happy. Not anymore I'm done it was either the friend zone or nothing at all for us he's no good for me and its time I accepted that fact.

"You Two haven't said a word to eachother all day, did you guys fight?" Asked Mrs Chandler
"Oh no we are fine" I answered hurriedly not wanting to get into what Tyler and I had between us.

"Don't speak for me" Tyler said gruffly
I rolled my eyes at him, because who does he think he is.
"What did I tell you about rolling your eyes at me? What you think you're safe because or mothers are here?" He said that with a deadpan which scared me so much it made me flinch.
No no Tyler you can't do that not here.

Is he serious? No he can't be. I kept my mouth shut and pretended as if I didn't know what he meant.

"Shawn I'm gonna go outside and get some fresh air, you you mind?"
"Oh no go ahead Ronnie and I will clear the table"

"Tyler come with me"
Did Mrs Chandlers tone sounded admonishing or was it my imagination.

I hurriedly cleared the table along with mother, I know it would be eavesdropping but I really wanted to know why she asked him to go outside with him surely she had something to say about his behaviour awhile ago.
So I hid behind the door quietly to listen to their conversation while mother was clearing the dishes.

"What the fuck was that?"
Oh my gosh Mrs Chandler curses I though she was an angel angels don't curse... then again it would explain why she gave birth to a demon

"What?" He's being indifferent... typical Tyler
"Don't play games with me boy. What happend between you and that girl and why were you acting uncivilised infront of her and her mother?"

"Mom it's nothing and even if there was something it really wouldn't be any of your business"

Ugh he's even disrespectful to his mother

"Sasha Chandler! What do you take me for? Last time we were here you secretly finger fucking here under the dining table and now you've barely said anything to her all night. So I will ask you one more time boy. What the hell happened between you and that girl?"

I felt like dying... she knows about that oh my gosh I'm so embarrassed

"I said it's nothing"

His mom looked so irritated then suddenly all I saw was Tyler head swiftly turning in the opposite direction

Oh shit she slapped him across the face

Mrs Chandler smacked him so hard that his face immediately turned red and inflamed
She gave him a stern look and said "I won't ask you again"

"What the fuck did you do that for?"
"Would you like another one?"

Holy shit this is intense

"Fine look she's a hypocrite"
What me? A hypocrite? what the fudge


"She called me a fuckboy and slut"
"But you are"
Exactly I was just stating facts

"That's not it, who does she think she is to judge me I mean who sleeps with a guy they barely even know and at the same time has the audacity to say all that, how is she different from me what makes her think she's so perfect"

That hurt I thought he understood me better turns out he doesn't understand me or my feelings for him at all

I don't think I'm perfect Tyler and I don't think I'm better than you and I know what happend between us that day doesn't put me in a position to judge you or anyone. I would never judge you for sleeping around. I was drawn to you, I couldn't help myself.

I stood there as he told his mother everthing that happend I stood both angry hurt, embarrassed by his words, each syllable that came from his lips aided in numbing my heart until eventually I could no longer hear their conversation I'd blocked it out not being able to mentally withstand the truth of what Tyler thought of me.

"Roneila" the sound of my mother's voice brought me back to life
"What're you doing?"
"Uh nothing"
I slowly walked to my room with a blank mind

I sat on my bed staring onto nothing for what felt like hours but based on the clock on the wall it was only five minutes.

My door opened and there he was the reason why I've been unable to process my thoughts properly from the moment I met him.

"What're you doing here? What do you want?" I unexpectedly said with bitterness
"First of all watch your tone"

Those bossie words woke me up and made me realise how angry I was at him I was sick and tired of his shit and him talking to me as I was a child who was less than he was. And I lost it.

"You know what Tyler fuck you, I am so done with you, you're a disrespectful and lousy person and I want nothing more to do with you so get the fuck out of my room!"

I said with a heavy sigh hoping it would give my relief

I was on a roll and I wasn't afraid anymore I was just DONE.

He had a sad look on his face that made me think that my pain was getting thru to him, that he was finally realising how horrible he's been but that disappeared as he merely chuckled which angered and irritated me even more it just goes to show that he doesn't take me seriously, he has never taken me seriously.

"Who do you think you're talking to?"
I stared back at him derisively at a loss for words not knowing what else to say other than to tell him to...

"Get out!"
"What?" He asked as if you he didn't understand what I was saying when I know damn well he can comprehend English.

"I said to get the FUCK out"
He gave me a confused look but still he wasn't budging so I shoved him, I shoved him as hard as I could through the door and said "stay the hell away from me as I slammed the door I his face.

It was finally over so why didnt I feel better I thought that the moment I let him go I would feel lighter but I didn't.. but why?

You don't you idiot because over the short amount of time you've already fallen irrevocably and arrantly in love with him

That's what I said to my self as a tear slowly ran down my face.


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