After staring at Cade for a moment I decide to stand up and go over to my bag.
“What are you doing?” Cade asks with a curious look.
“I want to have sex with you, tonight,” I say as I pull some condoms out of my bag.
I watch as Cade’s face turns from curious and playful to serious. “Are you sure? We don’t have to have sex, I’m more than good with what we’ve been doing.”
“I’m sure, I’m ready and I want to,” I say as I nervously play with the foil packages in my hand.
Cade walks over to me and runs his hands down my arms and then intertwines our hands. “As long as you’re sure, there’s no rush,” he says softly.
“Trust me, I’m sure. I mean as long as you want to,” I say realizing I hadn’t asked him if he wanted to.
“Of course, I want to, I just don’t want to rush you,” he says.
“I’m ready. Keep doing what you were doing, you know asking and going slow and I’ll be good,” I say.
“Glady,” he replies and then we walk towards the bed holding hands. Cade sets the condoms on the side table. I run my hands from the back of his waistband to the front, when I reach the tie, I undo it and push his swimming trunks down. When they hit the floor, he steps out of them.
We both sit down on the bed. I start to kiss him, and we move so that he is laying down. I climb on top and feel his hands touch my butt. I kiss down Cade’s neck and chest as he gropes my butt. Then Cade pulls my face towards his and starts to rapidly kiss me. I respond and grind my butt on his erection.
He pulls away and grabs the condoms. I watch as he rips one open. “I want to be on top, at least for the start,” I say.
“Okay,” Cade replies with a small smile. I watch as he rolls the condom onto his erection. I start to get nervous, I’m about to have sex. Before I panic, I remember that I will be having sex with Cade, the man I love. The man who would never hurt me. I take a slow breath and then climb on top of him.
I move so that I’m over his erection, “You ready?” I ask.
“Yeah,” Cade breathily says while moving one hand to my thigh and the other to my hip.
I rise up and use one hand to guide his penis into place. When I feel his tip inside me I slowly lower myself down. At first, it hurts. I squeeze my eyes shut and wiggle a bit as I try to relax.
“Lola, open your eyes,” Cade says. I do so and look at his face. “You’re really tight, you sure you’re okay?” He asks through gritted teeth.
“Yeah, I’m okay,” I say and take a deep breath. I watch Cade and start to relax; he has a way of calming me down just by being next to me.
I start to move up and down slowly. “Oh god, you’re killing me,” Cade says.
I stop moving and chew my lip, “Um, do you want to try being on top maybe?” I ask realizing how nervous I am.
“You sure?” He asks.
“Yeah, I’m way too nervous to take the lead right now,” I say honestly. “Just stop if I tell you to.”
“For sure,” Cade says. He sits up and I let him guide us so I’m lying under him. He is still inside me but not all the way.
Instead of moving in and out Cade runs a hand down and starts to rub my clit. Then he leans in and kisses my neck. He continues kissing my chest and neck while stroking me. I slowly forget how nervous I was and focus on how good it feels.
When I let out a moan Cade slowly pushes further into me. “You, okay?” He asks.
“Yeah, I’m doing great,” I say.
He starts to move in and out while continuing to stroke my clit. He moves faster and faster and I feel an orgasm build. I let out inaudible groans while I ride it out. As I’m catching my breath Cade pulls his hand up and places it beside my head.
I give him a sheepish smile, “You still good,” he asks slightly slowing his pace.
“Amazing, that was great,” I say with a big grin. “You can speed up I’m good.”
He does so and I being to move with him. I hear the smack of skin against skin as we grind together. I run my hands down his back. Cade beings to go even faster and I respond by keeping my movements in rhythm with his. All of a sudden, he begins to still. I feel him twitch inside me while his muscles go tight. He lets out groans and I hold on while he rides out his orgasm. When it’s over he collapses on top of me.
Cade rolls to the side while keeping an arm around me, “That was, wow, that was so good, Are you alright?” He asks.
“Yeah, it was also great for me. Thanks for taking the lead, I really needed that,” I say a bit shyly.
“No problem,” he says as he removes the condom and throws it in the trash.
I stand up and say, “I’m just going to use the washroom.” Then I grab a robe and run across the hall and quickly do my business. When I get back, I lock the door and turn to the bed, I see Cade lying there waiting for me.
He gives me a big grin. I decided to slowly take my robe off and watch his face. I watch as he stares in admiration as I walk towards him.
As I crawl into bed beside him Cade says, “God, I fucking love you.”
I turn to him and kiss his cheek playfully, “I fucking love you too.”
As I lay my head on Cade’s chest, he turns the lamp off so that the only source of light left comes from the moon. We fall asleep in each other’s arms. That night I’m able to sleep. I’m not plagued by guilty thoughts. Instead, I keep thinking of Cade and how much I love him. I am glad I had sex with him. No matter what happens to us I’ll always have these moments. I truly love him, and he loves me. For once something in my life is good and although I know it most likely won’t last, I am happy I got to enjoy it while I could.
The morning after the most amazing night of my life I wake up to knocking on the door. I feel Lola move beside me, she puts her face in my neck, and lets out a groan.
“Why is this door locked, Cade it’s 10:30 and we have things to do. You both need to wake up.” I hear my mom say as she tries to get the door open.
“We’ll be down soon, we’re up now,” I yell out so she can hear me.
“Okay, hurry up,” she replies.
“Good thing I locked the door last night,” Lola says looking up at me with a small grin.
“Yeah, that would have been very awkward if you didn’t,” I say with a chuckle.
We both get up and get dressed quickly. We then go to the washroom to brush our teeth. As we do so I watch Lola in the mirror. I can’t believe how I feel about her. I never thought that I could care so much for someone. Before I met her, I only ever thought of myself and didn’t care what happened to me. Now all I want to do is be good enough to deserve her love.
She is the most incredible person I have ever met. I am still in shock that we had sex last night. It was the most incredible experience. I mean at first, it was a bit awkward, but once Lola let me take control and she was able to relax it was tremendous. It was different than any other time I had sex in the past. There was something different about it when you really loved the person. I couldn’t quite explain it, but I felt it last night. I was sure I wanted Lola to be in my life for as long as she wanted to be with me.
I snapped out of my thoughts when Lola turns the tap on. We both finish up and go downstairs. In the kitchen, we grab coffee and muffins and then walk to the living room where my mom, Tomás, and Tessa are watching a kid’s show.
“How was your sleep?” My mom asks when she spots us.
“Great,” I answer with a grin.
Lola shakes her head and says, “I caught up on some much-needed sleep. Thanks so much for watching them. I appreciate it so much.”
“No problem, Lola, and like I said before any time you need help let me know. I love kids and enjoy watching them,” My mom replies. “So anyway, since today is Black Friday, I wanted to dress shop with you for the winter gala.”
I watch Lola’s face turn from happy to confused. Shit, I forgot to tell her about that gala.
“Cade, you did tell her like I asked right?” My mom asks.
“Um, I kinda forgot,” I say with a sheepish grin.
“How? I reminded you last night,” My mom says getting frustrated with me.
“Sorry I got distracted, plus until last night I thought that I wouldn’t have to go this year,” I say.
“Well, it’s not a problem I don’t need to go,” Lola says.
“No,” both my mom and I say at the same time.
“Look it’s not that I don’t want you going it’s that I don’t want to go. If I’m being forced to go, I really want you there with me,” I try to explain.
“Cade that’s a horrible way to put it,” My mom adds.
“Sorry, I just, well I don’t know,” I say and then Lola raises her eyebrows at me. “Okay here’s the deal, every year my dad’s company puts on a winter gala at the beginning of December. It’s a super fancy dinner and dance and it raises money for the children’s hospital. All the rich snobs at our school and in my neighborhood come. I don’t like going because I don’t really like who comes. But I wanted you to come with me this year so that maybe I would enjoy myself.”
“That’s a much better way to put it. And if you’re coming, I’d like to help you pick out a dress and buy it,” my mom says butting in.
“Well, I’d love to come but buying me a dress is too much. You have done so much already and, -” Lola says but my mom cuts her off. I eat my muffin as I watch them talk. I’m really happy to have my mom back, even though she is a bit controlling. Last year all she did was stay in her room now my perfectionist of a mother was back, and I couldn’t have been happier. It’s strange before all the things that happened all I did was dread her making me do things and choosing what I would wear. Now I was glad to have it back.
“Nonsense, you deserve a beautiful dress and I have more than enough money to help with that. We can pick one out today and order it. Then you can see my seamstress to make sure it fits right.”
“That’s really too much-,” Lola tries again but my mom doesn’t let her finish.
“You are our guest and need to look the part, please let me pay for it,” My mom says.
“Okay, but please don’t spend too much on me,” Lola says giving in.
“Cade when you’re done with your muffin can you grab my laptop and leave the room. I don’t want you to see her dress, it should be a surprise. Oh, and call Laura I want to get her one as well,” My mom says turning to me.
“Yeah, sure,” I say not wanting to argue with her.