3days passed after the night at the beach. Lois and I were talking almost every day, mostly at night. Sometimes in the morning before she go to work. She’s working at the café.
I don’t have anything to do now. Ally texted and they told me that she already send me the money. It’s about our part time at the debut.
The rain is pouring and I hear the thunder roaring. It is the perfect time to be emotional and be sentimental.
My girlfriend hasn’t called me the whole day and when I receive her text, she looks annoyed. It’s been 6months when I notice that she is slowly drifting apart. I feel how cold she is now. I feel that she is slowly losing her interest in me, in our relationship.
‘What’s your problem?’ I replied to her. I feel that she wants to break up with me and she’s doing everything for me to let go. But, maybe I can still save our relationship?
I am now reading The Universe of us by Lang Leav. Laying down in my bed while listening to music, then I feel my phone vibrated.
“Blaire, Can I call?” – Lois texted
I look at the clock it’s 7pm already.
I did not reply to her text but rather I dialed her number and call her.
“Hey, why?” I ask
“Are you busy?” she asks.
“Nah, I’m just reading but it’s fine. Why?”
“Ahm nothing. I just want to hear your voice.” She said. I chuckles. How sweet of her.
“You miss me?” I asks.
“Nah, just your voice.”
“But I am the owner of my voice so if you miss my voice it means you misses me too.”
“Still no, just your voice.”
I laugh “fine, fine, my voice it is.” I said. “uhh Lois, I have a question.”
“What is it?” she asks.
“Should I let her go? I mean she’s giving me all the sign to let her go, but I just don’t want to. She’s my first love after all.”
“Blaire, If it is not worth it, let go. If she always hurt you and makes you feel worthless, then there is no reason to hold on.” She advises.
I still don’t want her to let go. God, I am asking for a sign. Please let me know what to do.
I silently pray.
“Uhh hello?” I hear Lois. I forgot that I am still talking to her.
“I am just thinking about it.”
“Hmm, it’s up to you if you’ll listen.”
I texted my girlfriend while I am still on the phone with Lois. It felt so weird that it should be my girlfriend who I should be talking on the phone not her, not a friend.
‘You’re so annoying. Stop asking me.’ I read my girlfriend’s reply to me.
Fine. That’s it. I don’t know what have I done. The last text that I sent to her before she becomes annoyed is that I ask her if has eaten. Then she didn’t reply my text for 5hours and all I know is she’s mad at me? That she is annoyed? Hmm
But, what if she’s having a bad day? But she can still talk to me about it. I mean we’re always open if something bad comes around.
“Blaire?” I hear Lois. Right, I forgot that I am still talking to her.
“I don’t know what I have done to get her mad. I am just asking one simple question, Lois. I am just asking her if she has eaten. Then she replied 5hours later and she sounds annoyed. Like, the heck. What have I done? Is it a bad thing now asking your girlfriend like that?” I rant.
“Hmm maybe she’s not fine?” She replied. I know that maybe, just maybe she’s not fine but, it’s been 2 weeks since she’s like that. Saying she’s busy but posting her photos with her friends in the mall. Saying she has a lot to do but I saw her posting a shared post. I am not that dumb. I know what she wants. And this time, I’ll give her what she wants.
“Lois, wait.” I ended our call.
As soon as I ended my call with Lois, I replied to Kara.
‘I know you’re just waiting for me to say this. I can feel how cold you are to me. Those nights when I feel I am all alone, I keep on waiting for you to text or call me because I have something to talk to or share to you. And it hurts that you’re slowly drifting away the moment I still want you to stay. So kara, I am breaking up with you. I hope you’ll be happy now.’ Message sent.
I am waiting for her reply, seconds passed I received her text.
One simple word, Ok.
I feel somewhat uprooted by thorns.
I dialed Lois number. I want to tell her the news. I just want someone to talk about it.
“It’s over.” I said the moment she picks up my call.
“You ended it?” she asks.
“Yes. I know it won’t work anymore.” I said.
I already told her the night we are at the beach that we also broke up before.
“Is it really over? Are you sure? What if you’ll miss her?” she asks.
I am a woman with a few words. Once it’s over, I know to myself that it is really over.
“Yes and I don’t regret it.” I said.
“Good for you then. You are a heartbroken potato,” she happily said.
I laugh. I am single now. I forgot how it feels, being all alone by myself. I mean the feeling of not having someone I can talk to when I am mad or having a rough day.
“What are you doing now?” Lois asks, diverted the topic.
“Nothing, just laying around my bed. How about you, did you come home?” I ask
“Yes, I just come home.”
“You want me to sing?”
“Oh no. Don’t sing.”
“Okay then, I’ll sing.” I said, pretending I don’t hear her. “Do you know fix you?” I ask.
“Ahh yes, by cold play” she answer.
“Cold play? I don’t know them hehe. It’s by Myk Perez” I say.
“Sing the first part, only the first part huh.” she said strictly. I laugh silently. She really don’t like my voice when I sing. she said I am out of tune. Haha
“sleepless nights never ending fights,” I started singing “close your eyes—“
“Ok, Enough. I don’t know that song.” She cuts me.
How nice she is right? Insert sarcasm.
“Listen to it. It’s beautiful. I think it suits you.” I say.
“I know, ’cause I’m beautiful” she chuckles.