Because of Avalyn

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Chapter 2 - Fuck My Life

πŸ‡AaronπŸ‡

The next morning I get Avalyn her breakfast so that we can go feed pumpkin. After Ava plays with him we go to the park. She has the best time at the park. I push her on the swings and catch her when she goes down the slide. For lunch we have a little picnic and play a little longer before we leave.

When we get home there is a letter tapped to the door from the owners of the building. I get Ava inside and I put on Brave for her before I go sit down at the table to open and read said letter. I've read it three or four times now, I'm not really sure anymore.

Dear Tenant

We are sorry to announce that all our buildings have been bought out by a larger real estate company and they want to update or demolish the buildings in this area. Unless you can afford to buy a new unit you have two months to find a new home.

We are so sorry for any inconvenience this causes you and your family.

Tim's Reality.


"Fuck, what am I going to do?" I whisper quietly to myself as I crumple the letter in my hands.

I barely make enough to cover rent in this place. It's not fantastic but it was the best I could get without putting our health at risk. I'd ask mom and dad for help but they spent most of their savings travelling and buying stuff for the condo not that they'd dare give up money.

They are still trying to fight Scott's Last Will and Testament after all these years. They have been denied once already but they decided to try again.

When Brave was over Ava went to play in her room. I bet if Scott and Mary were still alive she'd have someone to play with. I wish I could give her that but I can't even provide a good life for her.

For dinner I have decided to make some chicken nuggets for Avalyn and start trying to find a new place. The oven finally dings and I can put the nuggets in. Ava is back in the living room laughing at the movie happily and is blissfully unaware of our newest difficult situation. I miss that, not needing to know how horrible life can be... She knows it's not always fair but she's already lost so much so I try really hard to shelter her from even more.

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Friday has rolled around again so I'm sitting at group listening to someone talk, feeling the weight of the world pressing down on me. They finish and I wonder if I should open up about what's been happening. What do you even say though? 'Hi remember last week when I was happy because my niece wanted to call me daddy, well now we're homeless so I'm probably going to lose her'.

I say nothing. How can I? It is humiliating and what good will it do to talk about it, nothing will change. Truce drags me to brunch with the rest of the gang that normally meets up but I'm not in the mood. I just order a smoothie and get lost in my thoughts.

My mind wanders from thoughts of dread to thoughts of Carter. Today he wore stonewash denim and a black polo. He left the buttons open and even his collar bone is sexy. It was the first time he came to group in anything but a suit. I need to stop thinking about him before I start drooling.

"Aaron hun, is everything alright?"

"Huh?"

"Is everything alright? You haven't been yourself at all today." she sounds concerned.

"Something happened and it threw a wrench into mine and Ava's plans." it isn't the truth but it's not a complete lie either.

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I want desperately for this to all be a nightmare but sadly day after day it isn't, it just becomes more and more real. Yesterday I told Ava we were going to be moving and she seemed sad. She doesn't want to leave auntie Lena so I told her auntie Lena has to move too. Ava was very excited when I told her she will get to spend more time with Lena while I go look at places.

"Daddy!" She runs into my arms after preschool ends.

Some of the other parents give her a weird look because it's only been a few weeks and most of these parents I don't see often. I just give a small shrug and a smile, pick Avalyn up and take her to the car.

That's another thing: my car is a piece of garbage on a good day. I have been blessed that it always starts. It just has other issues. It's really old, rusty, loud you name it, anything gross and annoying and that's my rust bucket. I have enough money saved to move but the problem is keeping up with it, well that and that money was for a newer car.

I swear everytime I think things are turning around I'm let down. It's exhausting, mentally and emotionally. I don't often cry but this brings me to a dark place and it makes it difficult to fight them off but like when Scott died, I will try very hard to keep my emotions in check while Ava is around.

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Day after day and week after week I try to keep things as normal as possible for Avalyn even though I've packed most of our stuff already. I tried to possibly find a roommate but nobody wants to live with a kid. I'm getting really anxious and I haven't slept more than two hours a night since I found out. I desperately need something to go right but I don't think it will.

Lena and Mac took Ava to the Zoo one week and the next week I took her swimming. We can't really afford it but I need and want to keep my princess happy. She deserves the little things especially now.

It's Friday again already and I have decided I need to talk... I can't keep this to myself anymore. Betty starts the meeting like always and a couple people talk about what's happening in their lives and that's when it hits me, we don't always have to talk about the incident that started bringing us here. It's not the only thing in our lives. When the next person sits everyone comments and wishes them luck and I stand because I need to do this.

"Hey everyone..." I take a second to breathe, "Six weeks ago I got a letter from the real estate company that owned my building. According to them a different company bought them out so now I have to move. They gave us eight weeks..." it's all catching up with me, "but I was unable to find a place in my price range that isn't a toxic waste dump. I wouldn't care if it was just me but Avalyn shouldn't get sick in her home".

Truce pipes up "If I wasn't in school I'd find a place with you, unfortunately I'm living at the dorms because I have to".

I look down at her and smile "thanks Truce".

I sit back down thinking about the mess I'm in when someone else asks "don't you have anyone that can help you?".

I look at them and shake my head "I don't, my parents live in a community that doesn't allow children and they spent all their money moving in there and travelling." they look at me with sympathy, God, I feel so fucking useless.

Group ends and like normal a few of us head off to brunch. Truce elbows me and points at the line.

"Isn't that Carter over there?"

I look over and sure enough the handsome stranger is in line. I think about asking him to join us for about three seconds but decide against it. He looks like he's got things to do. God, he is so damn good looking it's almost criminal.

He is wearing one of his expensive suits that is tailored so perfectly it fits his muscular frame like it were a part of him. He's got a beard now too but it's perfectly trimmed along his jaw. He's a near perfect specimen.

Truce notices me staring and has to comment. She insisted she gets the vibe. She's got to be the only one because I don't. What would he want with a guy like me anyway? I have nothing to offer someone like him. His order is finally ready, when he turns to leave Truce waves and he hesitantly waves back before he rushes out of the cafe.

For half a second I thought he was looking at me and my skin warmed at the thought. I've been having fantasies about him wrapping an arm around my throat and whispering naughty things in my ear while he fucks me hard and deep but there is no way he could want me.

My brother used to tell me that I was the worst gay guy on the planet. I couldn't tell at all if someone was gay. I also could never tell if a guy was hitting on me. He pointed out every guy even remotely interested in me when we went out. It was hilarious and awful at the same time.

Brunch ended and I left to go pick up Ava and head to the gym. Mac is just leaving when we arrive which is unsusal. He stops to talk to Avalyn when she asks him where he's going. He says that he's going to auntie Lena's to help her pack and move some more stuff to his place. He said they had been waiting to move in together for a while. She just needed a reason. I'm happy for them but still bummed for Avalyn and myself.

I set her up with some crayons and a colouring book and she sits quietly until Rob comes over to visit with her. She ends up getting him to stay and colour with her until we're done at six.

Ava gave Rob all the pictures she had coloured and he gives her the ones he coloured. She hugged him goodbye and we headed to a chain restaurant for dinner.

"Daddy?" she asked.

"Yes Ava?" I asked back.

She smiles really big "you're the best daddy ever, I love you".

"I love you too, Avalyn".

I get Ava her favourite dessert, a mud pie. It's a small dish of pudding, ice-cream and crushed Oreo cookie with gummy worms sticking out of it. It looks good and like the sweet girl she is she always offers to share but it's her treat and I want her to have it.

After the diner we head home and go for a walk. We see a few people we usually see and we stop to chat. Ava tells them we're moving soon which breaks their hearts and mine. The neighbours really like Avalyn. They always tell me how lucky I am to have such a sweet angel of a daughter.

I will miss them and I know Ava will too. I just hope that this move won't be hard on her. She's been through more than enough for one lifetime.
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