The uncertainty of life always makes my life interesting since you need to explore everything with the excitement of discovering the unknowing of life. But past few weeks everything went to the drain because everything that I find exciting was collapsing by my own stupidity. I thought I would be fine when Carlton gave me the space and time.
Opposite of it happened when we both stayed away. My whole week filled with darkness and pain. It came back just when I thought I successfully chased everything.
I realised having Carlton around me was a lantern to guide me through the darkness. One part of me can’t believe me saying that but yes it did unfold the truth. And I wanted to keep it away from me.
My appetite decreased and difficulty in sleeping. That was when I understood that all that reflected my anxiety took it time to visit me. Not a pleasurable visit, for sure.
The critical voice inside me never stopped to whisper. The only loudest thought was; Carlton deliberately ignoring me.
The stream of questions continued which made me to doubt myself and the last thing I decided was; I am not good enough for anyone.
Carlton’s though replaced with my past. It was in me for long time ago, keep coming after me and never made me feel better for whatever reason. I thought I wanted to preserve it forever but I wanted to let go also because it wasn’t permanent anymore and not a tattoo. It should fade slowly even if it leaves a scar. I can embrace it at the end of the day.
“Hey, what’s up?” Rhea said in a soft voice. I looked up at her and move a bit from the couch to let her sit next to me. I decided to not tell her much about it, knowing she will be worried.
“Nothing Rhea. How was the appointment?”
She sighed, “Adele, stop denying. You’re clearly upset about something. Speak to me.”
“It’s a lot Rhea. Let me settle everything and will talk to you once I’m ready about it.”
“Fine then.” She said and nodded her head.
She seemed convinced with my reply. We both were at the living room while the others at outside. I sat there, staring at the ceiling and felt numb.
“But one thing, I just want to get out from this place. Mamma is really…” I trailed my words, searching if anyone around.
“Pain in ass?” She suggested. I covered her mouth quickly before anyone else could listen it.
“No bitch. She’s overprotective and it suffocating.” I murmured. She laughed as if I made a world class joke.
“Stop laughing, Rhea.”
“No Ele, I get it she’s overprotective especially once you’re back from hospital but I thought you liked it.”
“Yes, I like. But I need a break too. I’m not a child. She’s loving but like I said it suffocating. You know me, right?”
I have no issues with the way she cares for me yet too much of care and attention can be exhausting. Rhea didn’t ask any further about it and turned away to see Carlotta who was squealing in excitement.
“Guess what?” she jumped on the couch with her phone in one hand.
"What?" I asked.
Rhea and I looked at each other and returned our gaze to my sister-in-law. She showed her phone to us, it was a text from Kayden.
“Wow, you’re going for a date with him?” Rhea asked.
She grinned from ear to ear, “Yes but it’s not a really date. Just a meal with him still I’m happy!!” I can’t help but hugged her immediately.
We pulled away and I asked, “So, what you’re wearing for tomorrow?”
“Yes, I wanna know too. Oh, guess what dress something casual and comfortable.” Rhea suggested. I remembered asking Rhea what to wear whenever I had date nights with Harriet. My fashion advisor.
I smiled seeing them deciding Carlotta’s outfit for tomorrow. Suddenly, I remembered things happened between me and Kayden, also his brother Harriet. I contemplated if I should tell her everything or simply let it by myself.
My smile dropped when I think about it more. Rhea noticed it and nudged my elbow, asking if I’m okay and I shook my head.
Ever since I came back from hospital, I never really felt as myself. I often drifted to my world, leaving everyone behind even when I was surrounded by people. Just like happening right now, I remembered the night at hospital with Carlton and this whole day.
Waking up next to him was the best thing happened since we got married. It was like dream come true for me. My pulse quickened when the memories came across my eyes, vividly. I face heated up as I thought of the kisses we shared and the words he said. It was nothing but meaningful for me.
He knew the best spots and the best words too. I mentally shook my head to ease the tension, the sexual tension building inside me.
“Is that about me?” The voice belonged to Carlton, of course. It was husky and his face plastered with a seductive smile.
My head was quick to look at him and turned away without making eye contact. He was already smiling as his eyes twinkled in amusement and sat next to me. Only then I realised and surprised too, I was alone there with him. I searched for Rhea and Carlotta but no one was there.
“Nope. Don’t be too confident.” I replied, locking eyes with his.
“Really?” He smiled lazily. He leaned back his head to the couch as he looked at me with his bedroom eyes.
Damn, this man!
I gulped as I averted my gaze from him. Leaning his body forward, his eyes were filled with passion and he moved closer. “Can you move away? Anyone might see us.”
He chuckled as his forehead leaned on mine, “What are we? 16? Scared of getting caught by parents?”
“Still it would be awkward if anyone see us. Move will you?” I whispered for no reason in this empty room with half panting for having him closer. I wondered the reason for me to feel nervous differently around him since he opened up about his feelings.
“Nope.” He too stubborn and clingy too. He leaned his head on my shoulder as he entwined his fingers between my fingers.
We sat there, ignoring the heat that we burn for each other and he decided to break the silence, “We’re not going back tomorrow.”
I stared at him in shock, “What? Why? Carlton, I’m going to kill you.”
“Wait, let me finish please. We’re not going back to our house but somewhere else.”
“Really? Where are we going then?” I asked, confused and curiosity.
He replied with a smile and tilted his head up a little to kiss my cheek, “For me to know and for you to find out.” I breathed deeply with his surprise game and pushed his head playfully. He chuckled musically and blessed my ears.
Get a grip, Adele.
“Where’s my dessert Adele?” he murmured as he brushed my jawline with his pointed nose and moved to my neck. I closed my eyes when I felt the ecstasy in my veins. He kissed down my neck again but it was longer this time.
“Mmm, Carlton.” Carlton lifted his head and looked into my eyes with needing. My heart made a flip with his intense stare.
“Here.” He brought a chocolate mousse in an espresso cup. He had such mischievous smirk when he passed the ‘real dessert’ to me. He pulled my leg, asshole. Carlton and his stupid tricks!
I took it from his hand and devoured the mousse Carlotta made for tonight. He watched me eating them with his eyes pierced onto my face. Every time I brought out the spoon from my mouth, his eyes grew darker and moved to my lips.
Now you felt it, I thought. I stayed unbothered with his burning gaze and licked the last bit of the chocolate on the spoon. A sly smirk formed on his face without averting his gaze.
“Don’t play with fire and end up regretting, wife.”
“Really? I don’t mind playing with fire, husband. The worse that could happen is to burn, I’m in then.” I glanced down to his perfect lips while one finger played with his shirt button. The temperature of the living room that was increasing immediately changed when we heard footsteps entering in there.
We leaned back from each other. Everyone stepped in the living room, Carlton excused himself with his sudden incoming call. Aidan and Rhea wanted to leave too, “Mrs. Wilbert thank you for dinner. It was lovely.”
I walked them out, Aidan engulfed me in his arms and said, “Adele I was really shocked when I heard about from Rheala. Please, please take care of yourself.”
“Sure, I will. Don’t worry about me. You guys are worrying much actually. I was tired and didn’t had proper meal lately. Nothing else.” I assured them. But Rhea still threw her concerned eyes to my direction.
She surely can sense that I hided something from her with her seventh sense. I wasn’t ready to speak about anything much to anyone. I needed some time to heal myself from the wound I had emotionally and mentally. Not every wound can be spoken out loud, I suppose.
“I’ll see you then. We love you.” Rhea gave a peck on my cheeks. I rubbed her small tummy happily. I can’t wait and contain the eagerness to carry the junior version of Rhea.
“We should plan a gender revealing party soon.” I said to them.
“Sure. But make sure you get well soon. I can’t see your sick face.”
Aidan left us alone and went to ignite his car engine. When he left from our view, Rhea asked slowly, “I can see things between you both getting hot.”
My eyes widen when she said that.
“Rhea drop it.” She chuckled and replied.
“Are you blushing? Anyway, tell me something. I want details.” She stressed the word details and her expression changed again. I raised my eyebrows at her.
She cleared her throat, “Before I forget, will you be telling to Carlotta about you and Kayden?”
I took a deep breath and tucked my hair behind my ears, “I’m not sure babe. I’m still thinking about it. What you think?”
“Honestly, I have no idea but I think she deserves to know from you. Think about it later not now. I know it’s difficult for you to not let it in your head but try.”
I nodded, still thinking about the matter. While Rhea was getting excited to know about my business with Carlton, Aidan saved me.
“Don’t forget to text me the details. Bye darling!” She winked and hopped in the car.
I heaved a relief and sent her off. She was still asking me to text everything without dropping a single detail. I was confused when I saw myself in Rhea. It must be due to the pregnancy. Her hormones were driving her crazy.
It was a long night for me, thinking about the past I shared with Kayden and not forgetting about the view of my devilishly handsome looking of my husband who busy working with his glasses.