See me when you look at me

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Just friends

-Alexander's POV

''Tyler, why did your mom asked me if we were fighting?''

''Probably because she hasn't seen you for over two weeks and that's strange. You usually spend more time here then at your own house,'' Tyler responds.

I sight and drop next to Tyler on the floor.

''And what did you tell your mom?''

''That you went camping during the break and before that you had the flue.''

''Well at least some of it was true,'' I mutter and I grab an control.

''I can't tell her the truth if I don't know what it is. Sam breaking up with you and turning back into a robot again. You showed me the text and I talked about it with her, but that only confused me more.

''That makes two of us.''

''I really don't get it, Alex. I asked if something was wrong in general, she said no. I asked the same question about the two of you, she said no. Things were not going to fast and she was not unhappy or anything. So I asked her why she then send you that text, but she couldn't answer me.''

I press the buttons on the console and the game starts.

''Why do I have the feeling that I'm more upset about it then you?'' Tyler grumbles.

''I was upset, Ty. You know that and that's why I spend a whole week in the woods. It didn't make any sense to me and I tried to figure it out. At first I thought something happened at the party, so I talked to Millie. She said they had a great time. Just a girls night out with dancing and laughing.''

''Then why are you not upset anymore?'' Tyler pauses the game and he looks at me. ''You don't have any real interest in the girls at school, although they basically throw themselves at you. You hate it when I make you go on double dates, because you hate dates in general. But then you met Sam and all of that changed. You have real feelings for her, so how can you not be upset about all of this?''

''Because of what you said. You told me that she said that nothing was wrong between us. You told me that she was happy with me and that things were not going to fast for her. But the most important thing is that she couldn't give you a reason for breaking things off with me.''

I see Tyler's confused expression and I sigh. ''She is the smartest girl we know, Ty. She thinks about everyone and everything. Still she couldn't give you an explanation for all this. That's not like her, so I don't think it has anything to do with our relationship at all.''

''Then what is it?'' Tyler's asked. ''She is like how she was in the beginning, acting like a fricking robot!''

''My guts says it has something to do with what happened to her in the past. We talked about everything, but she was vague about her past or she just changed the subject all together. I think that's why she needs a break and I will respect her wish.''

''So you are okay with just being friends?'' Tyler asks sceptical.

My thoughts start to wonder to the moments that Samantha and I kissed. To the moments I hold her in my arms and to the moments we just had fun together.

''It's fine for now, Tyler. I think Samantha needs a friend more then a boyfriend right now. So being friends it's fine by me, because then at least she will still be in my life.''

Tyler stares at me and he doesn't say anything.

''Why are you looking at me like that?''

''Because you love her.''

Now I stare at Tyler in shock and I shake my head in disagreement.

''We were dating and yes, it was getting serious. But it's way too early to say things like that!''

''And yet you do!'' Tyler says with a smirk. ''You are willing to just be her friend because you are still taking care of her. Even when she breaks your hart and doesn't give you a reason for it. You still just want to be there for her. You love her!''

My phone starts buzzing and annoyed I want to turn it off, but Tyler grabs my phone.

''Do I have to say anything else?''

Tyler points at the background and I just glare at him. The background is a picture of me and Samantha. She was laughing, while I gave her a kiss on her cheek. I loved that picture of the two of us and then I see Tyler's smug face.

''I rest my case,'' Tyler grins and he starts the game again. I'm not focused anymore and when my phones buzzes again, I ignore the text and I just look at the picture.

''Damn you, Tyler.'' I mutter under my breath.

I hate it when Tyler was right and he was. I fucking love that girl.


Alexander's POV

I put my bag down and I take a seat opposite to Samantha in the library. I can't tell if she is happy to so me or that she is mad. Her face is completely blank and I start to think this was a very bad idea.

I take my books out and I start with the assignment.

''Do you actually have homework?'' Samantha asks and I look up.

She looks pale and tired, but still beautiful in my eyes.

''What do you mean?''

''That you spend a lot of time in a library when you didn't had to.''

I shrug my shoulders and I turn my attention back to my books.

''I didn't had to, but I wanted to.''

''And now?''

''Now you are distracting me from my assignment.'' I said in a teasing tone.

Samantha turns her attention back to her laptop, but I see a small smile on her face. We work in silence and after a while I get up to go to bathroom. After that I notice that it's almost lunchtime and I walk to the cafeteria.

I put a fruit bowl next to Samantha, before I take my seat again. She looks surprised and then she notices it.

''So there actually is pineapple in the bowl.''

I chuckle and I just look at Samantha.

''Did you really take the pineapple out before you gave it to me? Like literally every time?''

''You hate pineapple and I don't, so a win win situation. I got more pineapple and you didn't get any.''

A tear rolls down Samantha's cheek and she abruptly starts to pack her things. She leaves the library and I follow her.

''Leave me alone, Alexander.''

''Not until you tell me why you are so upset.''

Samantha stops and I bump into her hard. I grab her so she doesn't fall and I turn her around.

''Tell me why you are upset, Samantha.''

More tears start rolling down her cheeks and then the bell rings. Lunchtime and I grab Samantha's hand. I lead to her to the side entrance and we go outside. It's chilly, but at least there is nobody here.

''Will you please tell me?'' I ask when I finally let go of Samantha's hand. She looks at me in utter disbelieve, like it was so obvious.

''You are the reason why I'm upset. You did all of those things while we were dating and I didn't even notice. I break up with you over a text and you are still you! Nice, caring and so damn thoughtful. That's why I am upset!''

''You are upset because I'm nice to you?'' I ask confused.

''Yes, you idiot! I didn't expect that and I definitely don't deserve it, not after what I did!''

''To bad, you just are going to have to get used to it. I am nice to my friends and I care about them.''

''But you don't just want to be my friend,'' Samantha whispers.

I wipe away her tears and I cup her chin, so she has to look at me.

''I will always be your friend, Samantha. You can still rely on me and if you need me, I'm just a call of a text away.''

Tears start to well up in Samantha's eyes and to my surprise she hugs me tight. She doesn't let go of me and I just hold her, while she cries.

Yes, I love this girl. I really do, but my gut feeling was right. Samantha needs a friend and not a boyfriend right now.

''I'm sorry, Alexander. You deserved more then a text!'' Samantha sniffs and I just hold her tighter against my chest.

''You will tell me when you are ready and that's perfectly fine. It's like I already told you. I'm only a call or a text away, got it?''

Samantha looks at me and she nods.

''Good, now let's go back in. It's cold and there is pineapple waiting on me in the library!''

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