See me when you look at me

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Hello, Red

-Samantha's POV

''Do you want to see a movie?'' Alexander asks.

I just flip through a magazine and pretend that I didn't hear him.

''Samantha, do you want to see a movie or do you want to do something else?''

''I'm reading this magazine, so I'm good.''

I hear Alexander sigh, but I just keep flipping through the pages. Making it obvious that I was really not interested in the magazine.

''Samantha, can we talk?''

''Sure, about what?''

''You know about what!''

''I'm not a fortuneteller or a mind reader, Alexander.''

''Fine, if you want to play it that way. You are still furious with me and with the others, but you refuse to admit that.''

''I'm not playing, I'm just reading a magazine. Also I don't remember me asking you to come over and I definitely don't remember that I invited you into my room. So if you want to see a movie or do something else, go to Tyler.''

I hear the the door open and close. Finally some piece and quiet, but not for long. The door is thrown open with force and Tyler bursts in.

''Why are being such a bitch to everyone, Samantha?''

''Hello, Tyler. Please come in and make yourself comfortable.''

''No, not that shit again! Stop talking and acting like a robot!''

''Why is that bothering you so much, Ty? You used to compare me to a robot all the time.''

''Yes, but that was before!'' Tyler snaps. ''Before I got to know you and really started to think of you as family.''

''You consider me family?'' I ask softly.

''You know I do!'' Tyler says and I can hear the relieve in his voice.

I put my magazine down and I look at Tyler.

''So you considered me family when I told you that those guys were making me feel uncomfortable? You considered me family when you pretty much told me that I should take it as a compliment, because I looked descent?''

I groan when I try to push myself of the bed with my left hand. The cast was taken off, but it was still sore.

''You considered me family when I told you that guy was bothering me and Millie? What did you do? You stuck your tongue down some girls throat, because you only cared about getting laid.''

I see Tyler clenching his fists, but I don't stop. ''Do you consider Emma your family as well? Have you ever asked me why I signed her up for Judo? You didn't, but I will tell you. It's because I want her to learn to protect herself. Because one day she will also learn that she can only count on herself. Since your jokes will definitely not protect her or Mia.''

''Samantha!''

Aunt Laurel walks in and by the look on her face I know she heard everything.

''You have every right to be angry with us, but we are still family! You should at least give us a chance to makes things right.''

''Didn't I do that after the first time, aunt Laurel? I gave all of you a chance after you didn't take me serious. After some of you called me paranoid or thought it had to do with my troubled past with men. Yes, I heard you saying that to uncle Thomas.''

Aunt Laurel face turns white as a sheet.

''Even after that and after being assaulted, I forgave all of you like that. Because you are my family, but what for? To be called paranoid again or to be not taken serious again?''

''Samantha, I'm so sorry for...'' aunt Laurel begins.

''Safe it!'' I snap. ''You told me that I was supposed to be the teenager and not the parent. Well, perhaps you should take your own advice and act like a damn parent. Isn't it a parents job to keep their kids safe? That was supposed to be your job and not mine, right? My bad, I forgot that you are still my moms sister.''

My headache is getting worse and I'm starting to feel dizzy. I also can't stand for long and I don't have anything left to say. I sit down on my bed again and I grab the magazine. I don't care if they stay or go.

I don't care if I hurt their feelings. Perhaps now they would understand how I was feeling.


-Alexander's POV

I'm still on the phone when I see Tyler and Mrs. Reed leave Samantha's room.
''Hold on, Gabriel. They are leaving and they look...''
''Completely numb?'' Gabriel finishes my sentence.
''How did you know that?''
''I forgot, you never known her as Red and you obvious never met her mother,'' Gabriel chuckles. ''Well, now you had the pleasure to meet them both.''
Tyler walks passed me and he slams the door of his room close behind him. I hear the sound of glass breaking and Mrs. Reed hurries down the stairs, but I see her wipe away her tears when she passes me.
''Sounds like she still got it,'' Gabriel continues. ''Doors slammed closed, things breaking and are people crying yet?''
''Yes,'' I groan. ''Is there anything what we can do to make things better, Gabriel? She is so furious and I get it, but...''
''Do you get it?'' Gabriel asks.
''What do you mean, of course I get why she is so mad. We didn't believe her and that happened twice! But I also tried to explain my side of it.''
''So you don't get it,'' Gabriel says with a sigh. ''Otherwise you wouldn't have tried to explain anything. Did you honestly expected her to hear you out and try to understand your side of things, when you couldn't even be bothered to do the same for her?''
I'm lost for words, because what Gabriel said was true.
''It hurts when people let you down, especially by those who mean everything to you. All of you broke her heart and her trust. That's why she acting the way she is. Dealing with that kind of pain the only way she knows.''
''By saying the things that she knows will hurt us,'' I say weary.
''Now, you are starting to get it!''
''So I just go back in and take whatever she does or says to me?''
''Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner!'' Gabriel laughs, but then he is serious again. ''I know it's hard when you are on the receiving end and she will absolutely try her hardest to push you away, but don't let her. Her anger will fade eventually and then you will be thankful that you stuck it out!''
I hear more glass breaking, followed by Emma crying and then I hear the familiar sound of a fist hitting a wall.
''Are you sure about that?'' I ask with very little hope.
''Yes, I'm very sure about that. Samantha and I had horrible fights, Alexander. I let her down many times and I said terrible things to her, but she didn't gave up on me. When the rolls were reversed, I didn't gave up on her. That's why she is my best friend and family!''
I can tell Gabriel is getting emotional by the tone of his voice, but he continues.
''That girl will fight for you with everything she has. There were times where I was so depressed that I wanted to take my own life, but Samantha always got me through those periods. Getting me the help that I needed and always making sure that I knew that she was on my side.''
''She tells people to .... themselves when they call me names and she spend a night in jail for me, because she got into a fight with a girl who had a problem with my sexuality. I screwed up by not listening to her and signing that awful contract, but she was still there for me. Helping me sort things out, because that's the kind of friend she is when you stuck it out.''
''I'm so sorry that you had to go through all that, but I'm glad that you and Samantha have each others back.''
''Don't be sorry! It is what it is and I have to go now. Take my advice or don't, it's up to you. Just know that the girl you love is still there, but she is hurting right now.''
We say goodbye and I hang up. I look at the picture of me and Samantha for a while, before I get up. I don't knock on the door and I just walk into Samantha's room.
She can say hurtful things to me. She can get mad or downright evil. She could do whatever she wanted, because I was going to take it and stick it out.
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