See me when you look at me

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Hello, old friend

-Samantha’s POV

I ring the doorbell and I wait for someone to come to the door.

″Samantha, dear! What a lovely surprise to see you!″ Mrs. Dumont says with a warm smile. ″Guess you are here to check on the patient?″

″I am,″ I nod and I follow Mrs. Dumont to Millie’s room.

″The poor thing has not been herself since the tournament. I hope your visit will cheer her up.″

″I will do my best,″ I answer with a smile. Mrs. Dumont walks away and I knock on the door.

″Leave me alone, mom!″ I hear Millie groan.

″It’s me, Millie. Can I come in?″


I open the door and a sour smell hits my nose. The curtains are closed and my eyes need to adjust to the darkness. Millie is laying in her bed and she glares at me with hollow eyes.

″What the hell happened to you?″ I ask worried and I close the door. You look like a ghost and don't tell me it's the flu. I won't believe you. I know something is wrong, so tell me! What's wrong?''

″Everything,″ Millie says and tears start to roll down her cheeks. ″But you will not understand it!″

″I might if you explained it,″ I say softly as I sit down at the end of Millie’s bed. ″I’m worried about you and I want to be there for you, so please talk to me.″

Millie gets up and she wipes he tears away with the sleeve of her hoodie. She looks pale and downright miserable. Something was definitely wrong.

″I slept with Kyle and I missed my period,″ Millie says in a monotone tone.

My mouth falls open, because I never would have guessed that!

″Okay, you slept with Kyle. Please tell me that he didn’t force you to do that!″

Millie shakes her head and more tears roll down her cheeks.

″He didn’t, I basically threw myself at him.″

″Why?″ I ask now completely confused.

″Because I wanted the pain to go away. I also didn’t wanted to feel invisible anymore and Kyle was saying all the right things.″

″Who hurt you?!″ I ask and I’m ready to kick the ass of the person who is responsible for this.

″I let myself get hurt,″ Millie groans. ″By not admitting that I liked Tyler more then a friend. By not saying yes when he asked me out. We spend an entire weekend together and he kissed me, but I couldn’t say yes when he asked me out after that. I had to play hard to get, because Tyler went on dates all the time and I didn’t wanted to be just one of those girls!″

I hug Millie tightly and I try to breath through my mouth, because the sour smell was really overwhelming.

″I’m sorry,Mil. You know I was hoping that it would work out between you two. Tyler needs someone who puts him in his place and makes him think before he opens his big mouth.″

Millie chuckles and she shakes his head.

″He acts like an idiot a lot, but it’s an act. You should have seen how nice he was when I was balling my eyes out at the tournament. He hugged me and he kept giving me kisses on my head. It felt so good and I truly believed that there was still something between us. So I told myself to grow a pair and tell Tyler how I felt at the schools party.″

Millie wipes away her tears and I’m waiting patiently for her to continue. I still don’t get why she would sleep with Kyle, since she disliked him just as much as I did.

″He was making out with Skylar and I saw them disappear together. I wasn’t hard to figure out what they were up to and I just felt like a complete idiot again. Then Kyle came up to me and he said all the right things. I can’t believe that I actually had sex with him! With Kyle, Sam!″

″Well, you did and I get it. After seeing Tyler with another girl, you just didn't wanted to be or feel alone. I can understand that all too well.″

Millie sits up again and she frowns at me. ″How can you understand that? You and Alexander are like the perfect couple. That boy worships you and you still look at him like...″

″Like dinner?″ I groan and Millie chuckles.

″The truth is that I got lucky with Alexander. He is the reason that we are still together, because somehow he never gave up on me or on us. Just dumb luck, but I wasn’t talking about Alexander. Before I came here, being alone was my biggest fear. I was terrified to be on my own and I did so many stupid things because of that fear. That’s what I meant by saying that I get it.″

Millie let her head rest against my shoulder and she sighs.

″How late are you?″ I ask after a while. ″Like a few days or longer?″

″Almost a week,″ Millie groans. ″What am I going to do, Sam?″

″First, you take a shower and I will go to the drugstore. Then we will go to Gabriel’s place an you can take a pregnancy test. It could still be a false alarm, Millie. Stress can mess with your cycle, so don’t freak out. One way or another, it is going to be okay!″

I get up and I open the curtains, before I open the window.

″Shower, clean clothes and be ready in half an hour!″

Millie smiles and makes her way to the bathroom and I leave for the drugstore. The thing that concerned me most was Kyle. Was he going to be there for Millie and the baby or would you just bail? I really couldn’t imagine Kyle being involved, but I was jumping to conclusions now.

Hopefully it was a false alarm, but there was only one way to find that out.

Samantha’s POV

″I never been so happy to get my period!″ Millie laughs and she hugs me tightly. ″Thank you for being the best friend ever and for that amazing girls weekend! Shopping with Gabriel was definitely an experience.″

″Well, that is what you get when you started talking about wanting to go shopping for prom dresses. Now you know how it is to be Gabriel’s dress up doll!″ I say jokingly.

I didn’t even bother to go shopping for a prom dress, because I knew that Gabriel would already picked something out for me and I was right. The long, fitted, midnight blue dress that Gabriel made for we was gorgeous! I loved the open back and the beaded high neck bodice.

The dress was perfect, but finding Millie’s dress was so much more fun. Gabriel said that Millie could choose any dress out of his collection, but she refused. Saying that probably every girl at school would show up in one of his creations.

Gabriel was not offended and he was happy to go shopping with us, although I should have known better. He made Millie try dress after dress, overwhelming her with all the choices. After a while Millie was ready to give up, but Gabriel convinced her to try on a long bright red dress. It was the dress! We all knew it and then Millie read the label.

″A fierce dress, for a fierce woman. Thank you for all your help in making my dream come true. Love, Gabe.″

It was a beautiful moment, until Millie asked why Gabriel didn’t show her the dress at his place. His respond was that he wanted to find out how many dresses he could make her try on and he wanted to see her reaction when she found out that she still chose one of his creations.

″I still can’t believe that he made me try on fifteen dress before he showed me his own dress! Do I have something on my face, Sam? People are staring. Wait!″

Millie stops and she grabs my arm. ″You don’t think that Kyle said something did you? I would die of embarrassment!″

″Calm down, Millie,″ I chuckle. ″That was weeks ago and I only found after you told me. I didn’t hear a rumour or anything, so don’t worry. Also, you don’t have anything to be embarrassed about. What you do in your private time is your business and yours alone!″

Millie smiles and we continue walking into the school. A lot of students are staring at us, but I also notice that many of them are looking on something on their phone. I don’t pay much attention to it, but then we reach the cafeteria and I freeze.

No, no, no! This couldn’t be happening! NO!

Everywhere I look I see pictures of me. Pictures of me with red hair and in some sexy pose, wearing nothing more then lingerie.


There is a video playing on the big screen in the cafeteria and I almost throw up right there and then. I see myself partying. I see myself making out with different guys. I see myself taking my clothes off, while people are cheering me on.

″What the hell is this?!″ I hear Millie yell in outrage.

I don’t say anything, instead I stumble into the nearest bathroom that I can find. I need to throw up, but the nightmare continues. The bathroom is also covered with pictures of me posing in lingerie, but these pictures have text on them.

Fucking her way to the top.″

″Two drinks and she will give you a blowjob!″

″Be careful. She either screws you or screw you over.″

I don’t bother reading the rest and I reach the toilet just in time. I throw up and after that I drop down on the cold floor. My gaze immediately sets on the pictures again.

The pictures and the video. Everybody now knew all the horrible things that I did. It was all out in the open and I wouldn't end there. The video would go viral. People would snap photo's of this and share it. It would never end!

I get up and leave the bathroom, where Millie is waiting for me. She looks worried and she is lost for words.

''I need to go and see an old friend of mine, who can help me deal with this. Please distract them, so I can leave.''

My tone is calm and I actually manage to smile. I needed Millie to believe that I was okay, otherwise she would insist on coming with me.

Millie hesitates, but more and more students are gathering around us. Filming us, making pictures and they start calling me names.

Millie nods and disappears, but then I hear the fire alarm go off. Chaos breaks out, but I don't waste anymore time. This was my chance to get away and I needed to get away.

I needed my old friend. Only then I would be fine, because I would finally be free of all of this. It was the only way to end the nightmare, the only way.

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