Today I first woke up and went running in the morning with my dad then we meditated for me to receive good energy at school today. I got dressed in my floral yellow dress and my black sneaker and wore my rings and crystal necklaces , I walked to school and as soon as I saw everyone standing and talking and some people were looking at me and I knew i was not going to make friends instantly.
I still carried on walking while saying my affirmations in my head and just as I walked past these group of girls who are wearing really short skirts and crop tops I could sense my energy shift into something negative but I wrapped my crystal necklace around my hand and carried on looking forward minding my own business. I walked through the busy doors and looked for a sign directing me to the receptionist office and I found it to my left as I was walking there from the corner of my eye I see a girl walking in the same direction wearing a white tank top.
I immediately notice her amazing long hair that is in box braids and her amazing golden brown skin and her dark black eyes she has this focused expression on her face and it is so beautiful. I legit ended up bumping into her and she said "shit sorry but you gotta look where you are going you know that right" with a small smile to her face. I couldn't speak for a second because she had an accent to her voice I just couldn't place from where. It took me some time to reply and when I did i said "sorry my bad are you also new or lost caz I'm new but also not really new I'm the online student I don't know if you have seen me on the teachers board but yeah and I really love your hair like wow it is amazing and super long and your skin is gorgeous.....i should stop speaking now right" and I immediately hit my hand to my mouth and felt embrassed she laughed and her teeth flashed and they were white as the clouds and my heart stopped for a second she opened her mouth to speak again after she stopped laughing "Thanks and yes im new my name is Eve by the way and i like your dress" i just smiled and she left me in a pit of hearts and butterflies.
I kinda hope I don't get dress coded today because as I'm walking in the school parking lot everybody is looking at me like every single eye is on me looking at me from head to toe and I'm kinda happy but also feeling anxious now so I focus on my breathing stop for a second and my eyes immediately roam to the LGBTQ+ flag on someone car and they see me looking at it and they smile I smile back and feel a sense of relief so I carry on walking while counting to 50.
It helps me calm down.....OK
As I'm about to walk through the door a girl comes up behind me and taps my shoulder and I tense up but I remember to breath and I turn around and smile while saying "Ummm hey cam I help you". She laughs "Kinda I just wanted to say I really like your shorts and maybe if you knew and gay you shouldn't show your ass out to everyone esspacailly if you have a flat one" and I think her friends were looking because they started laughing and I just took a second and said "Thanks but I didn't need your comment or your advice so how about you focus on your saggy tits and find someone your size to bicker with" I smiled and flipped my middle finger to her and her friends while walking away. In my head I was panicking and having a nervous breakdown but I have learnt to fake it till you make it so I'm ready for these bitches.
I look for the recptionist office and I find it and walk over there and I see two girls sitting there in the chairs and I sit next to one of them "Hi I really like your hair and outfit" and she looks at me and smile "Thanks your shorts are doing wonders for that great ass of yours by the way" and I laugh but say thanks and I notice the other girl looking at us while blushing and playing with her necklace and I notice it has crystals on it I feel like she is one of those spiritual people and I'm kinda scared of them because they are really self aware of their surrounding. I wave at her and she shyly waves back.
The recipionst finally comes in and she sees us and tells us to wait for a student to show us our classes and give us our maps and admin books with our information. She also says " Happy Pride Month and welcome to your new amazing school I hope you have a lovely time because you all look really lovely today" we all say thanks and smile I love how she assumed we are all not straight but I should find out later or something holefully I can become friends with the girl I am sitting next to.
Today I had to apparently show these new students around and help them feel welcome because I'm loud and I can easily be social with people so I get early to school and go the bathroom first and fix my outfit as I'm black tights and a yellow hoodie saying "I'm gay not your bae" I laugh at it I fix my hair as I cut it yesterday into a wolf cut touching my ears and I added white highlights as my hair is brown now.
I leave the bathroom and go to the office and I see 3 students looking awfully amazing yet so different I kinda gasp for a second. Miss Wilbur the office lady smiles at me "Thanks Q for doing this for us and i love your outfit and your new haircut it suits you very well sweetie" I smile and tell her thank you and then she introduces me to them "So this is Crystal in the yellow dress and Eve with the amazing hair and Slade with the great outfit making your hoodie". I look at them and they smile back at me and I feel like they are little baby birds waiting to hatch in front of their mother bird already but it's senior year so I'm sure they are old enough. "Hey guys I'm Q just Q that's how my name is literally spelt if you are wondering and you all look really nice can i just ask what are your pronouns before we leave" Slade stands up and speaks first "I go with he or they , thanks for asking" and I see Eve and Crystal stand up as well and Eve speaks next "I go with she or her thanks for asking Q and your name is really pretty" and I wait for Crystal to speak and she is looking at her shoes but she speaks while fidgeting with her fingers "I'm trans and go with they or them pronouns thanks for asking and I can ask if I should be worried as someone who is trans" I immediately feel sad and I go to them and touch there shoulder " Not at all we have alot of LGBTQ+ supporting clubs and we have events during pride month which I can tell you about later and we have some transgender teachers even and gender neutral bathrooms" they look up at me then my hand on there shoulder and I just smile and they smile back looking really beautiful actaually.
We wave goodbye to Miss Wilbur who I think was kinda about to cry because she love seeing us students thrive with our identity and all that. I point out the important areas and how we go to lunch and when we have lunch and what time first period starts and all that crap and they all quietly look around and listen them we stop by the liabary so I can ask if they have questions and I see Eve immediately smile ear to ear. "So this is the liabary , how many books can you take out and do they have books on psychology by any chance cause I lovvvvvve reading" and I see Crystal smile for a second as she eyes Eve "This is the liabary and I think you can take out 7 books max and I think they do because our principle wanted to learn about mental health and our selves with books in our reach" she nods and smiles and I look at Slade who is staring at the liabary door like he is looking at his reflection lost in thought. The bell rings and the hall way become total choas so I give them a map and their admin books and give them pronoun badges since they are new and might need them.
I say goodbye and leave my little babies to fly hopefully I see them again alive and happy.