You’re My Dream

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Keeping Secrets

It's been a week since I saw Alaric at the awards show. It hurt way more than I thought it would. I started writing a lot more since then, and most of my music is unintentionally about him. Hanna asked a lot of questions that night, and I told her the truth. She stayed with me that night and let me cry and get everything out.

She has been reading more about him because she is nosey as shit. She said that he went back to LA that night. She also said that Rebecca posted a few things saying that the song he sang was about her, and he wrote it while they were broken up. Of course, it was. How could I think it was about me? I wasn't anything to him. I felt so stupid after thinking that changed my set for him. I won't let him consume me anymore. I need to move on. It's just tough when every time I look at my son, I see him. He reminds me of him so much.

It's Saturday, and I promised the twins that I would take them to the park. It's difficult to go out in public with them sometimes because no one knows they are my children. I always put a hat on them and make sure we go to a secluded place. I don't take them out with me often, and I don't want them to be in the public eye. When we are together, Hanna is always with us, and if someone ever asks, we say they are Hanna's children. As they get older, it's getting a little harder to keep up that charade because they call me mama and not Hanna. I'm dreading when they have to go to school. Luckily it won't be another few years before we have to worry about that.

We are here at the park, and only one other family is here, and it's a beautiful day. I am sitting on a blanket, and Hanna is playing with the twins on the slide.

As I'm sitting here, I feel someone's presence behind me.

"Arryn," I hear someone say softly.

I stiffen, and my eyes widen. No, no, no! Please don't let him be standing behind me, I say in my head.

I turn around and look up, and I gulp. How the hell is he here right now? I stand up quickly.

"Uhm, what are you doing here?" I subtly look towards the twins and see they are busy. Hanna hasn't noticed us either. I hope she doesn't walk over here with them.

"I was passing by, and I thought it was you. Can we talk?'' His voice is quiet and unsure.

''I-I-I don't know." I run my fingers through my hair. I feel beads of sweat on my neck. I'm shaking.

"Please. Just a few minutes."

I stare at my feet. If I look at him, I will give in, but I need to get him away from the twins before seeing them. One look, and he will know they are his.

I nod my head. "Can we sit in your car?" I pray he says yes.

"Yeah, I"m parked over there." He points to his car. It's parked far enough away that he won't see the twins' faces.

I quickly get out my phone and text Hanna and let her know what's going on and not come this way. She quickly texts back and says, ok.

We are walking to his car, and I notice that he is very nervous. I wonder what he wants to talk about. I am wringing my hands. I can't let him know about the twins.

We get to his car, and he opens the passenger door for me, and I give a quiet thanks.

As he is walking around the car to get in, I look towards Hanna and the twins, and they are still playing, but I can see that she keeps glancing our way. I keep my phone in my hand if I need to tell her to take them away quickly.

He gets in, and he is looking straight at me. I haven't looked at him yet. I'm still looking down at my phone in my hands.

After a moment of just sitting, I finally ask, "What did you want to talk about?''

"Look at me, please.'' He says softly.

I gulp, and after a second, I turn and look at him. His eyes are the same, but they look dull. But they are still the same golden color as my son. I feel tears prick my eyes. I can't cry. I take a deep breath.

He starts, "well, first I wanted to say congrats knocking me out of the number 1 spot with every single you have." He smiles just a little.

"Uhm, thanks?"

"How do you like New York?''

My brows furrow. "You really want to ask me about New York?"

He shakes his head and takes a deep breath.

"Why did you leave LA?"

I clear my throat. "I needed a change." And to get away from you, I say in my head.

He opens his mouth to speak, but I cut him off, "I don't mean to sound rude or anything, but what's this really about? I need to be going soon."

His eyes widen a bit, and he takes another deep breath.

"Why did you cheat on me?"

My eyebrows shoot up quickly. "What? I cheated on you?''

He nods his head.

I laugh bitterly. "That's fucking hilarious, Ric. I'm leaving." I turn to get out of the car.

He grabs my arm. "Wait!"

I yank my arm from his grasp and turn around and glare at him.

"I saw the pictures, Arryn. I want to know why?''

"What pictures?" I try not to raise my voice. This is making me mad.

He pulls out his phone from his pocket, and I can see he is scrolling through his pictures. He clicks on one and shows it to me. My eyes widen. What the fuck? It's a picture of me, Damien kissing! I look closer and notice that it's in the outfit I was wearing when I caught him in bed with his fiancé. I shove the phone back to him.

"Listen to me very closely, Ric. I don't know how the hell you got that picture, but I can assure you that I have NEVER kissed Damien." My voice is harsh.

"Come on, Arryn. You are dating him now, and he moved with you here."

"I'm not dating him. He is my boss, producer, and my best friend. He moved here for his own personal reasons."

He stares at me blankly.

I laugh. "Is that all you wanted to know? Well, now you know. I have to go."

I get out of the car quickly before he gets a chance to respond. I start walking back to the blanket and look over my shoulder, and he is still sitting in his car. I hear his car start, and he drives away. I take a breath of relief.

I grab all of our stuff and walk to Hanna and the twins.

"It's time to go'' Hanna looks and me and nods.

"Mama!" Alaric runs up to me and jumps in my arms. I look at Hanna, and she is looking past me with her eyes wide.

I turn around, and Ric is standing behind me. He is completely still. I give Hanna my son and tell her to get Allyn and take them to the car. She quickly grabs them and basically runs to the car.

"Are he mine?''

He is standing directly in front of me. "Why would you ask that?''

They were wearing hats. I don't think he got a good look at their faces.

"He called you mama.''

"He's 2. He calls everyone mama." I mean, technically, he is 2. His birthday is in a few weeks. I laugh to myself. I hope he doesn't ask his name. I'd be fucked.

"Answer my question, please."

"No"

"Where's his dad? I haven't heard anything about you being with anyone since me."

"He is Hanna's." I silently beg him to let this go.

He takes a deep breath and takes a step closer to me. "I thought the little girl was her kid, and the boy was yours."

My heart starts pounding. I can smell his cologne. He smells so good. I hold in a groan. I haven't been this close to a man since him.

I shake my head. "They are both hers," I whisper. I take a step back so I can walk away from him.

"You're lying. Don't forget that I know you better than you know yourself."

I take another step back. "No, you don't. You use to know me."

I turn and walk away from him and let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.
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