I woke up first, grateful for it so I could just watch her, taking in just how calm I was while I held her in my arms. I didn’t hate her, I didn’t want her dead, I didn’t want her to cry or to scream at me. We had peace, finally were able to be together and not be so toxic to each other.
She was curled up against me, a hand under her chin and the other arm folded in between our chests. She was a light sleeper, her eyes always fluttering for seconds at a time, quiet noises coming out before she was asleep again. She’d already woken up three times while I was watching her but she must have been too tired still to do anything more about it so she just fell back into the deep.
I was the opposite, I was a deep sleeper all until I woke up. No matter what time it was, I couldn’t get back to sleep unless I tried for hours but most of the time I was never bothered to. I’d get up at odd hours of the morning, start the daily routine or just head out to the shed for a workout to pass time.
“Oliver,” I looked down at her when she growled and rolled over, out of my arms only to swiftly roll off the bed but land on her feet and walk away.
Zombie? I questioned, staring at her, slightly afraid at how sudden that all was.
“No,” she replied, coming back with her backpack. “And get out of my bed,” she ordered, waving me off and I listened because I knew that tone and I had no reason to get into an argument right now.
“What’s wrong?!” She shouted back as I made my way to her slowly, my heart picking up because now I was scared. What did you do, jerk? I wondered, thinking back to everything but there was nothing obvious.
Maybe she’s just flipping out? It’s happened many times before, I thought next, sighing lightly.
“Did I do something?”
“No, you idiot.”
“Don’t be grumbly with me then,” I snapped back and watched her mimic me like a child as she searched through her bag. I stayed silent when she winced and stopped to hold her hand to her side. “How about I go get your meds?” I said, guessing they’d probably all warn off by now. I stepped in to rub her back lightly, leaned in to kiss her head, to which she leaned into.
“I’m sorry,” she sighed. “I just can’t find a pad,” she whispered as I felt something tick inside me a little faster for a second.
“I swear I packed some though,” she muttered, looking through her bag again as I stood still, watching her hopelessly because I figured if she couldn’t find any the first hundred times she looked, there wasn’t going to be any now that she looked again.
“Want me to go ask Mum?”
“No, if you could just stand there with nothing to do, that’d be great,” she forced a sarcastic smile before it dropped as her eyes darkened. I clenched my jaw at her attitude but kept quiet as I turned around and made my way out.
“Mum,” I called out, walking down the hall and into her room after a little tap on her door to find her sitting in bed on her phone.
“What are you two fighting about now?”
“Nothing, she’s just grumpy,” I replied when she looked up at me. I stayed in the doorway, finding it hard to think of the words I needed to get what Sarah needed. “Um, she’s got her visit from Aunt Flo.”
“I don’t know what that means.”
“The red badge of courage,” I cringed a little as she just sighed and looked back down at her phone. “Fuck, Mum, she’s on her week.”
“And that’s okay,” she replied, giving me her attention again as she shrugged her shoulders lightly.
“Yes. I know,” I looked away for a second before a smirk showed up. “She needs a nappy.”
“Oliver,” she warned as she seemed to suddenly understand exactly what the issue was and how to fix it because she got out of bed, leaving her phone and making her way into her bathroom without another look or word.
“What? I didn’t do anything but she’s the one yelling at me and yet I’m the one to blame,” I rambled on as she came back out and threw me a navy cube package.
“Be nice, okay? We both know what she’s like and I’m sure you know just as I do how these times can affect us girls.”
“Of course,” I grumbled, raising a brow as she got back into bed. “Thanks,” I called while I walked away only to meet Sarah in the hall. Without a word, she snatched the pads and disappeared into the bathroom with a bundle of clothes in her arms.
“You’re welcome,” I muttered to myself as I made my way into my room, hearing the soft tune of my phone ringing. I sighed and rushed over to retrieve it, answering when it was Alex.
“This must be important. You’re awake.”
“Shut up,” he grumbled back. “I just woke up and it’s not like I sleep in all the time.”
“No, just mostly every day,” I replied, smirking slightly as I crashed onto my bed, knowing how much he slept in until the afternoon. It was rare to get a call from him this early.
“Whatever,” he sighed as I chuckled.
“What’s up? Wanna do something today?”
“Tonight,” he corrected. “I’m spending the day with Emma today after she finally got back to me.”
“Oh, wow. Good luck with that, tell me every fuck up, won’t you?” I replied, smirking more now as he just cursed me off. “Just be chill. Don’t go too crazy and weird or you’ll lose your shoot, got it?”
“Yeah, yeah, I know that,” he replied and sighed again. “Anyway, I called to tell you that there’s a party you’re coming to tonight. You and squirrel.”
“Chipmunk. Whatever you want to call her,” he continued, making me laugh as I pushed my head back into my pillows.
“Yeah, okay, we’ll have to see. She’s flooding at the moment, cranky,” I groaned a little, turning onto my front. “I think she’s gonna punch me up today so I’ll have to wait and see if I can be bothered.”
“Or just leave her and come yourself,” he put in. “What’s even going on with you two? You guys were so weird and close the other night.”
“Oh, you know, nothing really,” I responded, feeling my heartbeat rise up a little as I swallowed. “I’ll keep you updated on cranky pants and what we’ll do later on. Bye,” I hung up and dropped my phone onto my bed beside me as I stared at the ceiling, smirking with my teeth sinking into my bottom lip.
“Oh, you know, nothing really.”
Jesus Christ, I thought, my stomach swirling with good feelings because the truth was, we had it pretty good now and we were making more progress every day.
I saw just how she struggled last night when I was kissing her. She didn’t know what she wanted. She knew it was better to get me to stop but if I was to get to her, I knew she wouldn’t be able to stop. We had sparks, we had connections and she wants to explore and get deeper as much as I do.