I groaned and frowned at the feeling of soft hands touching my arms. Shaking me. It felt like an earthquake was shaking the earth yet only my body was moving back and forth viciously. I opened my eyes, stared ahead of me. A blank wall, nothing exciting.
“Sarah!” I heard Oliver’s voice yell behind me, making me spin around fast only to gasp when Liam was the one shaking me. His face was scrunched up in anger, his eyes dark and his burrows narrow.
“What did I do to deserve this?” He asked, his tone thin and quiet before his expression fell as if the act had stopped and I felt tears bite the back of my throat.
“Oliver,” another voice whispered beside my head but when I looked, there was no one, “he’s talking about you loving his best friend. Whore.”
“I-I’m sorry,” I tried but only gasped when he shoved me against the wall. Suddenly I fell down passed it, yelping when several other walls consumed me until I landed hard against a hard, solid surface.
“Love him all you want, Sarah! It’s not like I matter now,” Liam yelled but his voice was now in the distance as I stared up at the blank white ceiling, lights soft but illuminating the room enough. I knew this room, I thought, sitting up only to feel my heart beat a little faster when it was the kitchen from the other night.
I took a shaky breath, getting to my feet as I glanced around but it was only me in the room.
“I’m a friend of Liam’s actually.”
“Liam’s great, isn’t he?” I heard my reply to Ryan run through my head as I swallowed and curled in my fists, feeling my own anger start to bubble up in my gut.
“You’re such a fool.”
I spun around and glared at Ryan as he laughed as I took a step back, gasping softly when I was suddenly against a chest. I looked back and looked at Liam as he looked down at her sadly.
“Maybe you deserve this though,” he whispered before he was gone and I was pressed up against the wall, screaming out as Ryan held me against it tightly...
“Sarah!” I heard, rough hands shaking my shoulders hard before I gasped and sat up, blinking and staring ahead at the darkness. I took a second to register everything, remembering my nightmare and telling myself that I was safe, in my room.
“Hey, hey,” Oliver said, pulling me in only as the overwhelming emotions flushed in and I started crying, curling up against him as he hugged me tightly. “Shh, it’s okay,” he whispered, rocking me gently as I took deep breaths to try and calm myself down. I stopped myself from crying, clenching my jaw as I pulled away from Oliver and laid back down, my back to him.
“Sarah,” he murmured, coming to hover over me but I didn’t reply. I didn’t want to talk about it and I was too tired to tell him to back off. “Sare, you were screaming. Can you tell me what it was about?”
“It was nothing. Go back to sleep,” I replied as I felt him rub my arm gently.
“I’m here for you. You can tell me anything, okay?” He whispered before he kissed my shoulder and waited but when I didn’t say anything, he sighed and moved away.
“Oli,” I called, turning when I realised he was going to leave. He stopped just as he reached the door and looked back as I tapped my hand to my pillow beside my head.
“Can’t go screaming at me in the morning.”
“I won’t. Promise,” I replied and caught the small smile he had as he came back and got in under the blankets. I let out a shaky breath, feeling the heat radiate off him, making me realise how cold I was compared to him. I leaned into him, smiled a little when I felt his muscles tense, even more so as I touched my cold fingertips to his stomach.
“Why the hell are you freezing cold?”
“I don’t know,” I whispered back as he took my hands and lifted them up to his cheek, warming them between his face and the pillow.
“It was about Ryan, wasn’t it?” He said quietly, making me look at him for a while before I nodded lightly.
“Ryan. Liam. You,” I dropped my eyes and took my hands back as I turned onto my back and looked up at the dark ceiling. “Liam doesn’t deserve this. He doesn’t deserve to wake up from a coma only to find out how we’ve bonded and fallen for each other. He doesn’t deserve to be broken, Oliver,” I whispered, feeling tears once again rise in my throat as his arm hugged over my stomach, my bruises and wounds still healing.
I paused before I looked back at him when he stayed quiet. “Maybe I deserved what happened. And maybe I deserve to be hurt worse-.”
“Don’t say that,” he cut me off. “You don’t deserve to be hurt and no one deserves to have what happened to you happen to them. Especially you. You’ve done nothing wrong-.”
“Oliver,” I cut him off next, my tone snapping as I built the strength to face him. “I-I can’t choose,” I closed my eyes and felt his hand come to my cheek, his fingertips brushing through my hair as he held my jaw and cheek.
“Not choosing me is choosing him,” he whispered, making me look back at him as I turned my body to him. “And I don’t want that. I want you to choose me.”
“We have to think about Liam-.”
“Why?” He barked back and I looked at him hard before I pushed his hand off, hearing him sigh. “He’s not here right now. He has nothing to say or do. He’s in a coma and we can be together. I know, I sound selfish but-.”
“You’ve always been selfish,” I muttered, turning away from him, feeling my eyes water. I closed them tightly but only felt a tear escape and slide down silently.
“I am selfish! I know but I’m just playing every man for himself.”
“I’m a person, Oliver!” I yelled back, turning back to him as he shot back when I went to hit him. “I’m not an object for you to claim!”
“Glad we’re clear on that,” he replied, walking around the bed and to me as I sat up, glaring at him. “I can make you happy, Sare,” he said softly, sitting by my side as he took my hand in his and looked at me gently.
“You can make me pretty mad too,” I muttered blankly before I closed my eyes and shook my head to let everything bad go. “I hate this,” I whispered, lifting my legs to my chest as I put my head down onto them. “I hate you fighting for me. I hate that Liam can’t just fix everything like he always does. I hate that we seem to always fight even when I think we’re the best we’ve ever been. And I hate myself.”
“Don’t say that,” he replied, taking my shoulders as I shook my head lightly and looked at him, felt my tears continue to fall.
“I hate myself, knowing that I’m going to hurt either you or Liam. It’s either you or Liam, Oliver. It can’t be both and-and I can’t hurt Liam,” I cried and raised a hand to wipe my eyes quickly. “Not after all he’s been through. We can’t do that to him.”
“And what about me?” He whispered, raising his hands to wipe my cheeks as I sniffed and shrugged my shoulders. “I’m not as important as him.”
“I’ve appreciated and loved him more than you,” I started before I felt my cheeks go warm when he froze for a few seconds. I swallowed and took his hands to pull them down again. “I don’t think me being here is going to help anything.”
“I should go,” I murmured and looked at him when he cupped my cheeks in his hands, his eyes wide and bright.
“Sarah,” he said again as I stared back at him. “You’re not going anywhere and we’re not going to hurt Liam because,” he stopped to crack a chuckle as I frowned a little. “Well, because I love you too,” he smiled simply, dropping a hand to put it to my neck as I shook my head a little, the news not anything new to me.
“You’re confusing me,” I told him, closing my eyes as he ran his thumbs over my lids. I made a small noise when I felt his lips touch to mine as soon as he closed my eyes. I froze in place as he kissed me ever so softly, his lips brushing over mine.
“Oli,” I whispered, keeping my eyes closed as I touched my hand to the side of his head while he kissed me, his lips soft and warm, moving against mine as I seemed to pick up the idea, my body exploding with many emotions.
I kissed him back hesitantly but that was just his cue, knowing I’d given in.
Fuck, I thought, not having a clue to how was I was going to get out of this now.
“Oliver,” I blurted, falling off my elbows and onto my back as he looked at me with wide eyes. “What are you doing?” I asked him but groaned at his stupid smirk as he came down over me, kissing my jaw. My eyes closed as the strength in my arms to push him back failed.
“I’m giving you what you really want,” he murmured, kissing my cheek before my lips again. I lost my breath, kissing him back and raising my hand to his head as I forgot about all the issues we had.
“And this is what I really want?” I breathed when he moved to the other side of my neck. I pressed my head back, running my fingers through his hair as I bit my bottom lip softly, staring up at the ceiling and mentally cursing myself.
I don’t know, I thought, closing my eyes when he kissed my throat while I felt his hands run across my stomach.
“Oliver,” I whispered, looking at him lightly as he stopped but touched his nose to mine, staring into my eyes deeply.
“Sarah,” he replied, his hand touching my cheek and under my eye. “There’s nothing to be ashamed of. Liam can accept it.”
“No,” I whimpered, shaking my head before I pushed him back lightly to sit up. “Liam won’t accept it. We’ve ruined what we have with him. Once he finds out-.”
“No one has to know-.”
“They already know!” I yelled back, “everyone already thinks things are fishy. Wait until they figure the rest out.”
“Fishy,” he cackled and I shoved his shoulder.
“I hate you,” I shook my head as he gave me a cocky look. “You can’t take anything seriously, can you?” I grumbled and gasped when he suddenly grabbed my pillow out from under me and hit it to the side of my head. I fell unexpectedly, catching myself as I glared back at him.
“You love me,” he smirked back and I rolled my eyes, feeling the pillow case crimple in my fist before I threw it at him. He groaned as he fell back and rolled off the bed only to throw his pillow at my face. I caught it though, a laugh escaping before I squealed when his arms suddenly braced me and pulled me down onto the bed with him.
“Oliver,” I screamed, feeling my stomach ache and burn the more he tickled me. I laughed and shrieked at the same time, my surgery wound aching even more while I tried grabbing his hands to stop him. “S-Stop-,” I groaned when a pillow landed in my face again, shutting me up as he hovered over me, sitting on my waist and holding himself up with his hands on either side of my head.
“You’re a pain. That hurt.”
“That hurt,” he mimicked and I rolled my eyes at him, pissed again. “Fine, be grumpy and nothing will be fixed,” he grumbled, getting off me to lay back down as I looked up at the ceiling, wondering what the hell I was supposed to do now.
“Can I ask you a question?” I asked softly, sitting up as I heard him hum in response. “Why me? After everything we’ve been through and done to each other. Have you really forgiven me? Do you really love me? Or am I just a fool?”
“That’s five questions,” he replied and I gave him a stern look, going to lay beside him as he shrugged. “I could ask the same to you,” he answered as I felt myself overwhelm again because I didn’t want it to be true. But it was, it was all too true.
“I miss him,” I whispered, changing the subject as I leaned into him when he moved his arm under my head and hugged it around me.
“Me too,” he murmured back before he ran his fingers over my eyes, closed them and kissed my lips softly. I kept my eyes closed, tilted my head to return the kiss but then broke it and curled into him to find peace in my mind and a way to go to sleep again